


Soulmates Through Time; I Bare It, So They Don't Have To

by mswarrior



Series: Soulmates Through Time; I Bare It, So They Don't Have To [3]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Divergence, Childhood Friendship to lovers, Clexa, F/F, Fluff and Smut, I promise lots of sin, Oral Sex, Vaginal Fingering, clexa baby
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-29
Updated: 2019-02-27
Packaged: 2019-03-10 21:34:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 171,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13510218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mswarrior/pseuds/mswarrior
Summary: This story was originally titled Soulmates Through Time. The second chapter takes place moments after Clarke Griffin leaves Camp Jaha at the end of Season Two.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> These two intertwined stories were my first attempt at writing fan fiction after Lexa was taken from us. This story takes part in two timelines. Alternating every chapter from the present AU to the future of The 100 timeline. 
> 
> The first tale (modern version) will end at 13 chapter and I will include bits of their story within the Canon AU. 
> 
> My story will veer way off of the original book and flop. IE: No black blood, A.I., no conclave where you slaughter all of your friends to be Commander. This story was started on 5/27/2016 and completed 3/24/2017. I plan on posting a couple of chapters a week if RL doesn't get in the way. I wrote new characters in this story. If you have any questions feel free to ask and I am also, I'm working on another story that I hope to start posting real soon. https://warrior1955.tumblr.com/

_September 6, 1977, Virginia_

The little girl ran as fast as her legs could carry her down the sidewalk, with her long brown braids waving behind her in the wake of her steps. She had one arm wrapped around schoolbooks and one hand holding a new lunch pail that had a woman warrior painted on its side.

The girl had picked it out from the remaining lunch pails at their local market when her dad took her shopping that summer to get ready for the coming school year. He tried to encourage her to pick out what he called a _pretty pink_ lunch pail.

Lexa folded her arms across her chest and looked up at him and politely told him, _"Everything for girls was always pink, and this was the only one that wasn’t and this one makes her feel special."_

Her dad at seeing her determination in her stance smiled and put up his hands up in surrender. _"Okay, okay, no pink."_

Lexa smiled at the memory and continued on her way to the bus stop, running passed the kids standing on either side of the sidewalk, hurrying to get in line to be first to get on the bus. Today was the first day of fourth grade, and she didn’t want to be late.

Last week when she got her classroom assignment her heart jumped when her dad told who her homeroom teacher was going to be, reciting her name in her head Miss _Jane Parker_. She didn’t understand why, but she just loved her name. It might have been because last year all the kids who took her class got to call her, Miss Jane. She couldn’t wait to call her teacher by her first name even though there was a _Miss_ in front of it.

Lexa didn’t see his foot, but she felt it as she went flying through the air, sprawling on the sidewalk with everything she was holding scattering across the walkway. She heard him laughing and recognized his voice immediately. It was Joey _The Beast_ Novotny her spiked haired nemesis. The boy who made faces at her and called her names when she wore her in new glasses for the first time last year.

She had skinned her knees and could tell her tights had torned in the fall, but she worried more about her lunch pail. Lexa tried to get up, but he held her down with his foot he stuck in the middle of her back holding her in place as he continued to laugh at her.

“Watch where you’re going, four eyes!” Joey mocked.

She sucked in a hard breath and gritted her teeth and refused to cry. Lexa knew that’s what he wanted her to do as she continued to struggle and he pushed down a little harder. A sudden rush of movement and Lexa heard an _oof_ , and The Beast went flying across the sidewalk and landed hard on the ground.

Lexa pushed her glasses back on her face and rolled over onto backside and rubbed her legs, feeling the tiny tears in her tights clinging to the rough skin on knees. Lexa turned to see who pushed her tormentor and had to put her hand up to block the sun that was in her eyes and still couldn’t quite understand who came to her rescue.

All Lexa could see was hair surrounding the girl’s face in what looked like a light blonde halo. Then a hand was held out to her, she reached up, and the girl pulled her off the ground with ease. The quiet girl helped her pick up her books and lunch pail, handing it back to her and she turned to smile at her.

“Hey, are you okay?” The girl said breaking the silence. Lexa nodded and smiled back up at the older girl.

“It’s just my knees they’re a little skinned, but I’ll be okay.” She examined her lunch pail, and it had a long scratch mark on one edge, thankfully not damaging the woman warrior.

“I’m glad you’re okay.” The girl paused looking up as the bus groaned to stop beside them. “Guess, I’ll see you around.”

Lexa didn’t have time to thank her as the girl moved to get on the bus, but she turned just as she stepped on the bus and said, “I like your Wonder Woman lunchpail.” and gave her a small wink.

Lexa felt her heart fill with pride at her comment and had to catch her breath. Nobody had ever stood up for her before. She decided not to let stupid Joey ruin her first day of school. Lexa stood up straight, and she stepped onto the bus sitting in the first available seat.

~

Lexa rushed past the kids in the hallway and stopped when Joey stood in her way. His face was beet red, and it looked like he had been crying. Joey looked over his shoulder, and she followed his gaze and caught the blue eyes of the girl that had come to her rescue. He put his hand out for her shake and was saying something to quiet for her to hear.

“What?”

The girl behind him  make a small clearing of her voice, and he spoke up, “I’m sorry I tripped you.”

Lexa tried to shake his hand, but he pulled back like it would burn him and brushed passed her, continuing down the hall to his class. Lexa now facing the girl with her hand still out, and the girl took it and shook it. She never did that before with another kid, it was odd but kind of cool.

“Well, I tried. Hi, my name is Clarke, Clarke Griffin.”

“My name is Alexandra Woods, but everyone calls me Lexa. Why did you do that?”

“I don’t like bullies.”

“Thanks for coming to my rescue, nobody has ever done that before.”

“So does that boy bother you a lot?”

“Joey, yeah sometimes but not since last year. I haven’t seen you around before.”

“I just...I mean my mom and me just moved here from California, and I haven’t met anyone yet.” Looking around at kids filling the hallway.

“You’ve met me.” Lexa grinned not entirely sure of what just happened, but if her heart was any indications, she might have found her first best friend, ever.

Clarke smiled back at her. “I’m glad to meet you, Lexa, hey look I should probably find my classroom. It’s with a Mr. Glenn in room 112 down the other side of the hallway,” Clarke said then rechecked her room number.

“I’m right here,” Lexa sigh, “Clarke, will you meet me on the playground at recess?”

“You bet, I’ll see you later Lexa.” Clarke smiled as she turned and made her way to her class.

The first thing Lexa noticed after she sat down was a name on the chalkboard. Written in bold cursive, Mrs. Jane Perry. Lexa blinked, and her head started to spin with the new information. She had been looking forward to calling her Miss Jane for weeks and now what? The school bell began to ring throughout the halls, and she flopped her head down on the desktop dramatically.

~

 _"Darn,"_ Clarke said under her breath as she stood in the doorway looking at the almost full room. She stepped inside and walked along the side of the room passing all the desks in front to sit in the back. Luckily there was an empty desk next to the end row. In her last two years, she attended three different schools and would sit anywhere and but still had to endure the looks from the other kids who wondered who was this new girl and why didn’t she start our class with us in the fall.

Early this year her mother had to pull her from class in late March and spent that time traveling and moving and finally landing in Virginia, so in her last year of school, her grades suffered and didn’t pass the fourth grade. They had arrived too late for Clarke to attend summer school to catch up, she felt like a failure.

She let out a long sign hearing her mother’s voice in her head, _“I’m sorry Clarke if I could have just kept you in a few months more you would be in the fifth grade.”_

She didn’t blame her mother. Finding steady work had been difficult for her mom. She was a young mother and widow. It was when she turned six years old the terrible news came in the form of two military soldiers to their small home in Long Beach. Her dad was in the Army when he was killed in the war, leaving her mother to take work where she could. After they arrived in Virginia, she worked towards becoming a trauma nurse. Their luck changed when a full-time job opened up at the nearby hospital, and she was able to buy a beautiful new home through her late father’s vet benefits, so now the chances of pulling up stakes and moving again were hopefully in the distant future. In the meantime, she was way behind in all her studies, and she had to repeat the grade. Being a little bit taller and older than her classmates, she felt self-conscious.

She let her mind drifted back the little girl that the boy tripped to take her out of her thoughts. Clarke replayed the scene in her head at seeing her fall, and it made her angry. Her first glimpsed was as Lexa was running down the sidewalk and looked down to check her class assignments before she had fallen. Then glanced up as the girl hit the ground and saw her books and lunch pail go flying. Clarke immediately got mad when she saw the boy holding her down with a foot and saw that nobody was coming to her aid. She couldn't stop her first instinct to run over and put her hands out and push him hard as she could. It was quite a satisfying sound as he went crashing into the ground.

Clarke didn’t know what possessed her to do what she did next. She looked for the kid and saw him down the hallway and caught him by the back of his shirt and guided him down the corridor telling him in his ear, “Tell her you’re sorry.” Since she was a bit taller than him and stronger, he had no choice but let her lead him down the hallway.

She had seen this happen in the other schools she attended and guessed that there must be a bully everywhere. They would pick on the smallest kid to torture, and now that she was here she was happy she could help out her new friend, Lexa.

Clarke rolled the name around in her head. The name was unusual, but sense something familiar about it. It stirred something deep in her that she didn’t understand why it should mean anything to her. Why did she want to protect her? Clarke would have to think about tonight when she had time up in her new tree house. Clarke jumped when the bell rang in the hallway just outside and brought her back to the reality of the first day at her new school.

~

After school let out, Lexa and Clarke rode home together on the bus, and it was Lexa who spotted Joey first as he glared at her from over his seat and she tried to ignore him. Clarke whispered in her ear that he probably likes her, eliciting a grimace from her. Lexa told Clarke that he had cooties, and they laughed, making him turn around in a huff.

They shared their day’s experience, each telling stories of their families and exchanging addresses and phone numbers. Lexa held on to every word Clarke said; how she took in strays and currently she had a cat named Jimi and parakeet named Diego. Clarke was hoping one day to find a puppy. Lexa had never met a more exciting person in her life.

When Lexa got home, that’s all she could talk about is her new friend, Clarke. It was Clarke this, and that as her dad stood in the kitchen making her a snack, nodding his head and making comments like “Hmm” and “Wow!”

He settled her down to eat her sliced apples and told her that he had forgotten something to wait there.  
He could hear her talking from the kitchen as he went to his office to retrieve a gift and returned to the kitchen with his hands hidden behind his back.

“Guess which hand.”

Lexa immediately pointed to his left arm, and he revealed a wrapped present. Lexa took care in opening the gift and removing the pretty paper and inside was a golden colored book with no title. Lexa fanned the pages and noticed that all the pages were blank.

“What’s this Daddy?”

"This book is called a diary, and you write all your thoughts down. You write anything you want and see this on the side. There’s a lock and here’s the key.” He held out the shiny key to her. “You can keep your private thoughts safe. It’s for you alone. The lock keeps people from reading it unless you want to share.”

“I love you, Daddy.” Lexa ran to his side and hugged him as hard as she could. He closed his eyes in her tiny embrace. In his heart, he felt for of all the things he may have done wrong in life; his little girl was one thing that he had got right.

Adam Woods was twenty-four, with wavy brown hair and his eyes matched the color of the deep green sea. He divorced his wife, Anne and moved with his daughter to Virginia after a coworker caught him with another man and after his wife had a nervous breaking down. What Adam wasn’t sure of at the time was if she would fight for custody but at the end of the divorce proceedings, it was clear that Anne didn’t believe in herself to be a good mother to Alexandra. Adam swore to her that he would do everything possible to protect her from the hardness of the world. Still, he knew Anne would be bitter.

They had met in high school in California and did all the typical stuff. School dances, football rallies and taking her to the prom. Adam was an average teenage boy. Throughout his life, everything he did was normal at least as normal as it could be when you’re in love with your best friend and he is straight.

Adam figured it was best to act the part. What happened was inevitable, Anne fell in love with him, and he ended up attracted to men. It broke her. In one of their many fights, she said as much. Anne saw herself as a failure, and she didn’t feel loved. She told him it wasn’t fair, and she asks. “Why did he asks her out on a date? Why did they make love? Why did he ask her to marry him? Why, why, why?” He would never have the right answers for her.

He loved men, and with the societal pressures in the country, hell the world, you didn’t show love for other men, if you did they’d get their asses kick or worst. Living in the 60s and being a homosexual was against the law. They could have arrested him for sodomy. “Coming out,” as they were beginning to call it wasn’t something he wanted to do, not in this climate. You met a girl, got married and had a family. End of story.

He married Anne after high school and a few years after she got pregnant he starting to realize that he didn’t have control over his life. Adam wanted to be in love with her and always wanted a family, but there had been a secret side to his life. He devoted his time to getting a degree and supporting his young family, but there were times when traveling that he wanted to connect with other men. Men who love other men.

Samuel had been that guy, he was sweet and generous and have given him space to deal with the marriage that he knew in his heart had been a mistake, and he knew it was hurting his family, especially Anne.

The United States was at war in Vietnam, and by some miracle, he didn’t get drafted. He got a job at NASA after college, and that’s where he met Sam. A bright young engineer who worked on the new Space Shuttle Program.

He had an infectious laugh and beautiful gray eyes. Adam wasn’t sure who notice each other first, but when he peered into his eyes, he fell hard. He had long mousy brown hair and large frame glasses that couldn’t hide those eyes, penetrating and trusting, and he had fallen in love with a handsome geek. The first time they kissed, it was everything, and it had been easy, so he found the find time to be with Sam, but little did he suspect that people had seen them. It was a tech’s spouse that was a friend of Anne’s who told her. That was it. Anne found out, and his life started to spiral out of control before it had begun to start, but luckily he didn’t get fired, but he left NASA and moved to Virginia. Losing everything he loved. His love, his job and breaking up his family.

Here he was with was with a four-year-old little girl. A child too young to understand why mommy and daddy fought all the time. Living and working in the Houston area would become impossible. Better to leave and start all again. Because of his degree, he landed a decent job. It was another engineering program that had a possibility of travel.

~

Clarke unlocked the door and made her way inside putting down her books on the hallway table. Her orange tabby Jimi came running from the back bedrooms, meowing loudly and wrapping his body around her until she reached down to scoop him up and walked with him to the kitchen. She set him down when she found a note her mother had left her.

_Clarke,_

  
_There are leftovers in the fridge, and I've left you a couple of chocolate chip cookies I made last night, which you can have after you’ve cleaned your room and done your homework! I should be home close to 7 pm._

  
_I miss you. I love you,_

  
_Mom_

 

Clarke put down the note and checked the time. It was close to four, and she would be alone, again. She sat down and started to look over the papers from class and a least for today all she would have to do is a little math and read ten pages of the book Mr. Glenn had assigned for the class. No sweat, she liked reading and math, and even though math wasn’t her best subject, the problems were easy enough, and her mom would check it later.

~

Clarke checked the clock that hung over the oven, and it was close to 6:00. She had finished her assignment and heated and ate her dinner and got her drawing book and head up to her tree house. The sun was still up but brought her flashlight in case. She had meant to ask her mom about getting some lights put in the tree house, but she had forgotten to bring it up. She wanted to draw outside as long as she could. Feeling and hearing the wind through the trees, or maybe listening to the bird’s sing, she hoped it would give her inspiration.

Sitting in her mom’s old worn bean bag chair, she settled in to draw. Opening the book she turned her drawing book to a clean page. She ran her hand across the page letting her mind wander and imagining things she would like to draw. Closing her eyes the first idea that came to her was her new friend. Opening her eyes, she wrote her name down on the top hoping it would give her inspiration.

_Alexandra Woods_

No, it’s Lexa. She erased out the first name and replaced it.

_Lexa Woods_

She closed her eyes again and played the scene over in her mind when Lexa was on the ground she paused and remembered, then she opened her eyes, and her hand started to move across the page. Drawing first an outline of her body and how she was sitting rubbing her knees from the scraps. Her face and long braided hair. Clark outlined the sidewalk with her books covering it, putting action into the drawing and her hand kept moving until the light was starting to fade a bit. The picture was incomplete, and when she held it out to examine what she had done. Clarke blinked her eyes and felt a profound feeling come over her that made no sense at all.

Clarke needed to understand why this girl was affecting her. She was sweet and innocent and rolled with what happened to her today. No tears even after falling, she took in stride. Lexa was just under four feet tall but carried herself taller than her stature. Wondering where her courage came from and hoped one day to learn. As she let her mind wander and she played the day over in her head. Laughing to herself at the silly way Lexa told her jokes. Clarke never stayed long enough in one place to have a best friend, and now she may have met one. It made her happy, and she couldn’t wait to see her tomorrow.

Clarke jumped when her mother’s car pull into the driveway and shimmied down the ladder and ran inside to greet her. Clarke raced to beat her mother inside the house and opened the door before she could put her key in the lock. Her mother was so startled that she nearly dropped the bag of groceries she had in her arms.

“Whoa, you scared me. Can you grab the other bag in the car?”

“You bet Mom.” She reached up and hugged her and ran to the car.

Maggie put the groceries on the counter and saw the page to Clarke’s drawing book opened to a drawing she was working on, and held it up and saw the details in her new picture. Admiring the sketch and shaking her head at her imagination, she knew Clarke was gifted, and this had put more thought into it than all of the other works she had done.

Clarke struggled with the heavy bag, and her mother reached over and pulled it out of her arms and placed it on the counter, then ran her fingers through her hair and cupped her chin. “Did you finished your homework, honey?

“Yes, I finished early and started to work on a drawing of my new friend, Lexa.”

“That’s a lovely name. I did see your new picture, but why is she on the ground baby?”

Clarke told her about her new friend and how she had help out with the bully and became best friends in the span of a few minutes.

“I’d like to meet your new friend. Maybe we could have Lexa’s parents and your friend over for dinner, say maybe this Friday. I have the day off.”

“She only lives with her dad, and they live only a couple of blocks over, and I have her number. Can you call him tonight and ask, please mom, please?”

Maggie smiled and cupped Clarke’s chin again. “Where’s his number?”

Clarke beamed and ran to her room in record time and then slid on the socked feet on the kitchen floor arriving in front of her mom and handed the number to her.

“Could you start putting the food away. Start with cold stuff in the fridge first, then the dry goods on the counters. I’ll put them away.”

“Yes, Mom.”

Maggie studied the number and then dialed number smiling down at her. Clarke grinned back at her but jumped a bit when she started to talk to Lexa’s dad.

“Hello, is this Mr. Woods?”

“Yes, it is,” Adam said a little concerned.

“Oh, hi I’m Clarke’s mother, Maggie.”

“Oh yes. My little girl, Alexandra has been speaking about nothing but your Clarke since she got home from school. Please call me Adam.

“Adam and Alexandra, that’s sweet.”

“Thanks, we named her after my late grandmother.”

“Adam, I was wondering if you and Alexandra would like to have dinner with my daughter and me this Friday?”

“This Friday? I’m sure we don’t have any plans, we would love to come. Is there anything I could bring?”

“That’s okay. I think I got it covered. I guess your daughter has our address, but I could give it to you again with our phone number.”

They exchanged information and Maggie put the rest of the groceries away as she talked to Adam and Clarke hung on every word. Jumping up and down when she heard mom give him their information. After she had hung up, Clarke ran to her mother and put her arms around her and hugged her hard.

“Thank you, Mom. You’re going to like Lexa. She is smart and funny. She has long hair, and she’s really brave.”

“I can’t wait. Now let me check your work, and you need a bath. I’ll tuck you in after your in bed.”

Maggie bent over and kissed on top of her head and scooted her out of the kitchen. She picked up the drawing and looked at the details she had put into it and shook her head again. Her daughter finally has a best friend.

~

After her bath, Lexa put on her favorite pair of PJ’s and turned on her bedside lamp and pick up her new diary that was laying on her bed. She tucked herself into bed and put the diary on her lap, and she tapped the pencil on the blank page. Unsure what to say. She hadn’t tried to write her thoughts down before. It was hard to come up with something, and she tried to think, closing her eyes and letting her mind wander since this was a diary maybe you just wrote about your day.

_September 6, 1977, 7:35 pm_

_Dear Diary,_  
_Today was the first day of school, and I’m in the fourth grade. My new teacher is Mrs. Jane Perry, and she was a Miss last year. What is so cool is she said that we could call her Mrs. Jane! She read us a poem, and she’s going to teach how to write them. It was a fun day, and I have to you tell you about my new friend. Her name is Clarke Griffin. She has long wavy blonde hair, blue eyes and she’s taller than most of the kids in the fourth grade. She pushed a mean boy that tripped me and made him say he was sorry. I don’t believe he was. I like her. I hope we stay good friends forever._

 _PS: My dad gave you to me today, and this is my first time writing. I hope I remember to do this every day._  
_See you tomorrow!_

She twirled the pencil around and reread what she had written and frown a bit. Writing was harder than she thought. Okay, it wasn’t that great, but it is what had happened to her. Lexa read over the diary again and put in on the side table, and she picked up her book she had been reading called _A Wrinkle in Time_ that she had started last week but fell asleep within minutes.

~

Adam stood behind Lexa with his hands on her shoulders and waited for her to ring the doorbell. “Are you sure you don’t want me to hold the pie, honey?”

“No, I can do it, Daddy.” Lexa looked back over her shoulder.

“Okay, just don’t drop it.”

“Daddy, I won’t.” Lexa drawled as she rang the doorbell. She had been waiting all week for Friday, and she was so excited to see where her best friend lived.

Maggie got to the door just a split-second before Clarke did and then put out her hand a let her open the door.

“Hi, Lexa!” Clarke said. The excitement in her voice was evident.

Both Adam and Maggie started to laugh. “Please come in.”

“Thanks. We brought a dessert for after dinner.

Alexandra could please hand it to Clarke’s mother.”

“We brought a pie, Mrs. Griffin.” Lexa held it out for her to take, and looked up at her and smiled at her sweetly.

“I see, hmm it looks delicious. What kind of pie is it?” Maggie asked Lexa, but she had no idea and looked back at her dad.

“Oh, it’s a cherry pie,” Adam said.

“That’s our favorite. Clarke do you want to show Alexandra your room?” Clarke cupped her hand and whispered to her mom. “She likes to be called Lexa, Mom.”

Maggie smiled at Adam and winked at him. “Okay, Lexa would you like to see Clarke’s room?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

With that Clarke grabbed Lexa’s hand and the ran with her down the hallway to the back of the house to her bedroom.”

Maggie took in a breath and laughed a bit. “They’re like little whirlwinds.” She put out her hand for Adam to shake.

“I thought having a little girl would be easy, but she surprises me every day. I wouldn’t change her for anything in the world. Your daughter is lovely Mrs. Griffin. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Please, call me Maggie. She takes after my late husband, Patrick. He was full of light and energy. I’m so happy to meet both of you. Please have a seat, can I get you anything to drink?”

“I’ll have whatever you’re drinking.”

“Wine it is. I’ll be right back.”

~

Clarke had Lexa’s hand in hers as they ran to her bedroom.

“Ta-da,” Clarke said as she opened the door. Lexa’s eyes tried to drink in everything they saw and when they landed on her bed where an orange kitty was laying on her bed, and she squealed.

“Is this Jimi?” Lexa stepped over and started to pet him on his head. He stood up and stretch putting his paws out and arching his back and then pushed his head into her hand.

Clarke nodded and sat next to him and petted him along with Lexa. “He’s almost one year old, we think. We found him when we moved here this July, he was crying at our back door, and my Mom said that if we couldn’t find his owner that he was my cat.”

“You’re so lucky Clarke to have a pet.” Lexa looked around at the rest of her room and walked to the birdcage was Diego sitting on his perch grooming his yellow feathers. He started to peep at her, and that caused her to laugh.

Clarke had pinned up drawings she had drew, and they adorned the walls and on her desk was her sketchbook. The desk held all sorts of crayons and pencils. It looked like a real artist lived here.

“Did you do all of these?”

“You bet, here let me show you my latest.” Clarke got her drawing book out and showed her the picture she had been making of Lexa.

Lexa stared at the picture and then back at Clarke. “Is that me?”

“It is. I hope you don’t mind, Lexa.”

Lexa gazed at the picture again, and she ran her hand over her likeness. “I don’t mind Clarke. You’re very good artist.” Lexa paused and was a little worried now. “Did you tell your mother what happened?”

Clarke was embarrassed for having told her mom. “Hmm, yes so sort of, my drawing book was on the counter in the kitchen, and she saw the picture, and well I had to tell her what happened to you. You didn’t want me to say anything?”

Lexa frowned. “Umm...I haven’t told my dad yet.”

Clarke was puzzled at her answer. “Why not?”

Lexa closed her drawing book and handed it back to her and shrugged her shoulders a little. “I don’t know. I guess I didn’t want him to worry about me.”

Clarke felt sorry for having put Lexa in this position. “Lexa, you’re my best friend now, and I’m not going to let anyone hurt you.”

“Really?”

“Really. Friends for life.” Clarke put her hand out for Lexa to shake.

Lexa took her hand and shook it, and Clarke tentatively smiled at her. “Are we okay?”

“Of course silly.” Lexa smiled back at her and the anxious feeling she had dissipated into thin air.

Clarke grabbed her hand again and pulled her towards the door. “Let me show you my treehouse.”

Adam and Maggie were in the kitchen talking and saw the two little girls dash outside. Adam chuckled. “Like little whirlwinds, indeed.”

“Did Lexa tell you what happened to her on her first day of school?”

“What’s that?” He turned to face her. “No, just meeting Clarke. Why what happened?”

Maggie went on to explain the story that she finally got out of Clarke and Adam sat down on the bar stool and watched the girls as Maggie told him the story.

Adam closed his eyes when she finished, and it had hurt to hear that Alexandra had kept this from him. Not sure how he was going to get her to tell him her version.

“I want her to be able to tell me everything, and she usually does, this time, I’m wondering why she didn’t.”

“Could be that it didn’t bother her that much. Clarke took care of the situation pretty quickly and said that she didn’t even cry, could be she didn’t want you to worry about her.”

“You may be right. Still, I need to know these things.”

“Adam, I’m sure she’ll tell you when she’s ready. Give her some time. When Clarke was her age, I found that sometimes when I knew she was keeping something from me, it would bug her more than me. Eventually, she would fess up, and we could work it out.”

“I just don’t want her to get bullied by any other children.”

“I think that Clarke will take care of her, she always wanted a best friend. I have to say that these past four years have been tough on her, on us. She lost her dad when she was only six years old and then when we had to move and then this year I had to hold her back, and she has to retake the fourth grade. Meeting Lexa now that we finally have a home, well I just think that it was meant to be.”

Maggie pulled the cooked pasta off of the stove and poured it into the metal colander in the sink. The steam rose quickly, and she stepped back from the heat. She glanced up out over the yard she saw them climbing the ladder into Clarke’s treehouse. “Would you look at those two.”

They watched as they climbed into Clarke’s treehouse and then looked over at them from the kitchen, waving and giggling.

“Man, that would make a cool picture, Maggie.”

“You’re in luck, I’ve got a camera right here.” She reached into the drawer next to the stove and handed him her old Instamatic camera.

He went outside, and he called up to the girls. As they stepped outside of the treehouse, Adam directed them to stand still. “On the count of three say cheese,” Adam said. “One, two, three.”

“Cheese.” The girls scream. The flash went off and captured a perfect picture of the two little girls with their arms draped over each other’s shoulders.

“Okay, girls it’s time for dinner, go wash your hands,” Maggie called up to them from the slide glass door.

“Let me help you set the table,” Adam said and helped Maggie put the dinner on the table. They made a good team, and Maggie liked the comfortable way Adam made her feel. He was handsome, but he didn’t seem to know it.

“Smells, great Maggie.” She had made a spaghetti dinner on the prompting from Clarke.

“Clarke said it was Lexa’s favorite.”

“Well, it is at least this week.” He laughed.  
The two little whirlwinds came back into the room and sat next to each other, and Adam and Maggie sat at opposite ends of the table.

Maggie held up her glass to make a toast. Adam followed her as the girls just watched. “Here’s to good friends and many more fun times together.”

“Here, here,” Adam said.

Maggie served everyone and helped the girls with the bread and salad.

She held out the bottle of wine to him. “Would you like more Adam?”

“Just one more, thanks.”

Everyone dug into the meal, and it was silent for a few moments. Adam took his first bite and remarked. “This is good Maggie. What do you say, Alexandra?”

She looked at her dad and then to Clarke’s mom. “Thank you for dinner, Mrs. Griffin, this is my favorite meal.”

“You’re welcome honey.”

Clarke started to giggle when Lexa made yummy sounds when she tasted the food. Lexa swallows her bite and said. “This is really good Mrs. Griffin.”

“I’m glad you like it, sweetie.”

Maggie motioned with her head to Adam, and he quickly picked up she wanted him to ask Lexa what happened to her at school. He nodded quickly at her, and the meaning was clear. “Alexandra, tell me about your week at school. Did anything interesting happen to you?” Adam didn’t want to be to direct with her, just try to encourage her to talk about what had happened to her.

Lexa stopped at mid-chew and looked at Clarke and then at her dad. She felt Clarke’s hand go into hers under the table and squeeze it gently to help her be brave. She knew she might be in trouble for not telling her dad what had happened but got up the courage. “I got tripped and fell, and the boy held me down with his foot, and my new lunch pail got scratched,” Lexa said in a quiet voice.

“Who tripped you, Alexandra?” He tried not to sound too firm, but it came out like that nevertheless.

“Joey Novotny. But Clarke came to my rescue, and she pushed him off of me.” She rushed out the last information quickly.

“Oh, she did. Well, I’m glad your new friend came to help you. Thank you, Clarke, for being there for my little girl.” It looked like both of the girls were going to cry, but his kind words made everything sound okay.

Clarke’s eyes were focused on her plate then glance up. “You’re welcome Mr. Woods.”

Adam said it the most gentle way he could, “Listen, Alexandra. You can tell me anything. Okay?”

Lexa still kept her eyes on her plate. Feeling self-conscious and embarrassed. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, Daddy.”

He bent over and kissed her on her head, worried now that he might have hurt Alexandra’s new relationship with Clarke. “Don’t worry about it. It wasn’t your fault that he tripped you, honey, everything’s okay.”

“Yes, Daddy,” Lexa murmured and started to pick at the spaghetti on her plate. She went quiet, and she felt hurt and maybe a little embarrassed, but not quite sure why. She wasn’t mad at Clarke, but if she had never drawn her picture, her mother would have never found out. Her dad wasn’t mad at her even if she didn’t tell him right away. It was all so confusing to her, and she didn’t want to be angry at Clarke, she just met her. She looked around at everyone eating and tried not to be sad. Maybe it was supposed to happen, and her dad was supposed to know. Lexa liked Clarke, and after all, she did save her and said they were friends for life. That’s got to mean something, right? She smiled inside and decided to let it go then felt Clarke’s warm hand against hers.

Clarke squeezed Lexa’s hand again, and she gazed at her, afraid she might have ruined her new friendship with her, but what she saw was two trusting green eyes of her new friend. Lexa smiled back at her letting her know everything was okay between them, and she squeezed her hand again. Clarke’s eyes showed relief, and she let out a breath.

Adam had felt the mood change between the little girls and needed to move to a different subject. “Maggie this dinner is fantastic, and I want to thank both of you for having us over.”

Maggie must have sensed it also, and she had made eye contact with him and felt they needed to get the girls minds on something else. “I’m glad you like it. So, Adam, I was wondering if we could work out an arrangement where Clarke wouldn’t be home alone when I’m at work. It would only be a few hours after school, and I could pick her after my shift.”

Adam picked up the idea quickly from Maggie. “What’s your thinking?”

Both of the girls looked up from their meals and looked at one parent and then at the other like they were watching a tennis match.

“Maybe the girls could study together after school when one of us is home.”

Adam responded, “I work from home two times out of the week, on the other days I have babysitter look after Alexandra. I’m usually off on the weekends.”

“How about they study at your house, and I could pay you for half of the babysitter the other times, and I could watch them when your away. I still think that Clarke’s too young to be home by herself. I had her stay at the neighbor's home on the weekends when I had to work, but this arrangement would be better for both of them.”

“What do you girls think about that?” Adam said.

“PERFECT!” They both said in unison causing everyone to laugh.

That broke the ice, and the mood around the table shifted, and the girls opened up and began to talk about everything. The adults let them ramble on, and they smiled at each other. Adam and Maggie sat back and enjoyed the laughter and friendship the girls were sharing. Maggie smiled at Adam as he rolled his eyes in relief and she understood that what had could have been a disaster was turning into a pleasant evening with new friends.

~

Lexa’s birthday was coming up this Sunday, and Clarke was hoping to surprise her with a trip to the movies. After Adam and picked up Lexa this afternoon Clarke spent the rest of the evening making a movie theater tickets with drawings of the characters from the film, _Star Wars_. She was working on making her birthday card with cartoon characters of Jimi and Diego in Star Wars costumes on the inside of the card holding a banner saying _“May the Force be with you.”_ She planned to buy the real tickets when they had made a date see the movie.

“Mom, is it okay Clarke if Lexa could spend the night on Saturday?”

Maggie put the last of the dishes away. “What did you have in mind Clarke?”

“I was thinking maybe a surprise party. Well, sort of a surprise party. Can you help me, Mom?”

Clarke told of her plans, and her mom said she would get permission from Lexa’s dad, and they planned to have him come over in the morning before they got up and help breakfast and decorate.

~

Adam was on the phone talking to Clarke’s mother and listened to the plans for his daughter’s birthday. He mused at how Maggie’s daughter had planned out every detail. He smiled at Clarke’s thoughtfulness and that she wanted to make her happy. “Clarke sure has spent a lot of hours working on this for Alexandra. She’s a special young lady, and you should be very proud.”

“I am, she has been a joy to raise Adam, and my daughter has needed a best friend for a long time, Lexa came into her life just at the right time. I think they make good companions for each other. Having Clarke stay with Lexa after school, has eased my mind.”

“It was a perfect arrangement, Maggie. So, I’ll be there at eight o’clock sharp, give me a list of what you want me to bring Maggie.”

It wasn’t quite a surprise birthday, but for his daughter, it would have been the first time someone had made this effort. Clarke had also invited a few more friends that would come by later when she’s opening presents and eating the birthday cake. The more they had made plans, the more excited he was getting for his little daughter.

~

Clarke awoke from a sound sleep when she heard her mother and Adam in the kitchen, and she opened one eye to spy on Lexa sleeping. Clarke turned her head slowly to looked over at the sounds coming from her. Lexa made the cutest snoring noises, and Clarke had to put her hand over her mouth so she wouldn’t laugh she couldn’t wait to kid her about that later.

Lexa had one hand tucked under her chin, and the other hand was clutching the blanket with a mess of wavy brown locks covering her pillow. Clarke smiled, and moved silently out of bed, put her robe and slippers, and opened the bedroom door, stopping when she heard a creak from the bed, she turned her head and checked to see if Lexa was still asleep, satisfied she was and left the room.

Clarke could smell the bacon cooking from the kitchen as she walked down the long hallway from her bedroom, she peaked her head around the corner, her mom and Adam were side by side preparing breakfast. She pulled her head back and gazed into the dining room and saw that they must have spent the morning decorating. Colorful balloons and streamers were hanging from the chandelier and just over the entry to the kitchen leading from the dining room was a large sign saying Happy Birthday.

“Morning.” She said as she walked into the kitchen. Adam whispered into her mother’s ear, and she lightly tapped him on his side, joking around like old friends.

“Look in the backyard sweetie.” Her mom pointed with her chin to the outside. Pulling the curtain’s aside she pressed her nose to the sliding door; her breath obscured her view. She wiped the steam away, and her eyes went wide.

“Wow, Mom Lexa will love this.” They had continued with the theme of the party, and Adam had even decorated her tree house.

When she stepped into the kitchen, her mother grabbed her and spun her around and popped a piece of bacon in her mouth. “Hmmm.” Licking her lips. “Should I get the birthday girl? It’s almost 9 o’clock.”

“Sure baby.” Her mother said, filling her cup with coffee. “You want a fill-up, Adam?”

“Thanks, Maggie.” He turned and made a face at Clarke making her giggle. “Should I hide?” He said as he reached over to tickle her.

Clarke jumped away, laughing and ran back to her room to collect the birthday girl. She quietly opened the door, and Lexa hadn’t moved, she ran and jumped on the bed and shouted.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”

Lexa’s eyes popped open and were so shocked she squeaked and pulled the covers over her head and then slowly pulled covers down peeking out at very excited Clarke jumping around and making her bounce up and down on the bed.

“GET UP, GET UP, GET UP! IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY SLEEPYHEAD!”

Lexa laughed and joined her on the bed jumping up and down, joining hands and bouncing on the bed but stopped when Clarke’s Mom yelled from the kitchen to stop and to get out here in her best fake mad voice.

Clarke yelled back that they were coming, and she grabbed Lexa and put her hand over her eyes and guided her down the hallway. Lexa couldn’t stop laughing, and when the got to the kitchen doorway Clarke uncovered her eyes, and everyone yelled Happy Birthday to her. Lexa saw her Dad she ran over, and he scooped her up and spun her around putting kisses all over her face. She couldn’t stop laughing, and as he held her, he stopped and looked into her eyes, and whispered. “Happy Birthday baby. I love you.”

“I love you too Daddy.”

Maggie clapped her hands together “Okay who wants blueberry pancakes?”

~

_Dear Diary,_

_I’m nine years old today, and I had the best birthday ever. My best friend Clarke made me a cake and card, and she got us tickets to Star Wars, and my Dad got me a telescope! I can’t stop smiling. I don’t know who to thank for bringing my best friend into my life. I don’t know what I would do if we didn’t have each other. My Dad and Lexa’s mom also helped, and they made this day very special. When I made a wish before I blew out the candles, all I could think was I wished that Clarke and I be friends forever. Well, tomorrow is Halloween, and we have to make our costumes after school. I haven’t made up my mind yet, but Clarke wants to be Princess Leia. I’m getting tired, but I just have to say again. I had the best day ever._


	2. Chapter 2

Clarke looked out at the looming forest in front of her. Seeing how it was dark in places past the first trees. Now anything could be lurking waiting to take her out. Behind her, everything and everyone she has ever known from the Ark remained. But, nothing matter to Clarke anymore, her future was uncertain now that she decided to go on her own. Find a place to live far away from her people. Clarke tried to push down the pain that covered her like a shroud. Putting up a wall was the only thing that could protect that one vital thing that was keeping her alive. Her heart. To keep it beating in her chest and allowing her to move away from the source of the guilt and loss. It hurt even to take in a breath; it caught in her throat threatening to take her to her knees. Sadness and grief were all she had left. Just as Clarke made it to the tree line, she took one long look back at their new home and with a shaky breath turned and walked into the forest and faded into the darkness.

Clarke scuffed her feet along the forest litter as she made her way to their first home on earth. Her immediate concern was to make it to the dropship before nightfall, but her mind was still heavy with a blinding ache that drove her to flee after everything that had happened at Mount Weather. What prayed mostly in her mind and heart was Lexa’s bitter betrayal and forcing her hand and causing the deaths of so many people. Staying would be impossible she understood and must leave her friends and family behind. She was of no use to them now.

Clarke feared the guilt she bore, would reflect back in their faces. She killed over three hundred people to free them. Some of her people considered her a hero. Clarke couldn't feel more opposite of that attribution. She didn’t want them asking her guidance when she didn’t know how or what to do next. Clarke didn’t need that responsibility, didn’t want it, and didn’t deserve it. She was an empty shell of the person she once was and hated herself, even more, and couldn't trust herself to make any more decision over people’s lives.

Clarke's body and her mind wanted to break down, and she blinked her eyes holding back the tears, pushing them down and her mind flashed on the memories of everything that had happened to them since they had dropped from space and all the people died, trying to fight to stay alive. Losing friends, either by her hand or someone else; she couldn’t help but blame herself for everything. But, kept one foot in front of the other until she stood outside of the dropship unsure of how she arrived here.

Clarke looked to the west of their metal ship and could see the sun just setting over the mountains revealing only a little light left in the day. Clarke had no intention of spending the night there. It was too near to the Ark's camp, and surely her mother would send people looking for her. Clarke just wanted to find anything that she could use to survive on her own.

Clarke left Camp Jaha with a knife, a gun with one extra clip and the clothes on her back. After rummaging through the dropship, she laid the items on the ramp outside. Clarke found two empty water canteens, a couple of blankets, a few straps, and second knife. She spotted the knife tucked in a small metal box on the first level and immediately wondered if it belongs to Octavia.

Clarke flipped it over in her hand and admired the long sharp blade. She held it flat in her hand and felt the balance weight and wrapped her hand around the handle. It surprised her that Octavia would have left such a beautiful blade behind and slipped it back into its leather sheave and attached it to her waist.

Clarke said to herself unconsciously, “Well, all I need is something to make a fire and find some food for the night, and I’m all set.” She shook her head for talking out loud as if somebody was listening. For now, it kept her grounded and focused on what she needed to do next. She could break down later.

Clarke shook off the distraction and packed everything up into a tight bundle and strapped it to her back and took off for the hidden bunker that Finn had found. But images of him of his last moments in death by her hand made her shudder and turned southward. Instead of heading to that shelter, she would go around because of the memories it held. She wasn't strong enough to revisit.

Clarke continued walking from the dropship and remembered Lincoln's cave near them, but she hadn’t explored. It had been Bellamy and a few others that hid inside when the mountain men released the acid fog. The light was starting to fade and finding somewhere safe tonight was the only thing keeping her going.

She ducked inside the first one, and it was dark, musty and her presence sent a few rats scurrying making her yelp and moved on to the next one and was determined to find Lincoln’s cave. The last cave appeared between the brush, and she ducked inside, and after letting her eyes adjust to the dark, she had discovered his home.

Clarke felt around carefully with her hands and touched a few materials she needed to make a fire. The darkness put her already frayed nerves on edge and decided it would be too difficult to start a fire in the cave and moved outside and laid the items on the ground.

Clarke gathered sticks and dry material she needed to make a fire and after a few frustrating minutes of scraping with the crude flint and knife. She got a tentative flash which grew as she blew on it carefully and it flared up the spark, nursing it into an ember and placing it under the stack of sticks. Clarke coaxed the tiny flame with the dry brush, and her confidence grew as it stayed burning and lighted the wood, watching it grow larger and laid more sticks into the growing flames. She sat back proud that she had accomplished something useful that would keep her alive and warm.

Clarke took a broken branch, and wrapped ripped material around the head and dipped it into the fire, watching as it sparked to life. Stepping back into the cave with her torch she found a hanging pot filled with oil and wick and placed the fire to it, and it sparked to life, brightening the cave and revealing the home where Lincoln had lived. Around the room hung more pots along the walls and lit the remaining. The cave was now flickering with the light dancing and creating shadows. Her eyes adjusted to the growing illumination inside and found Lincoln's firepit and tossed the burning torch inside. Clarke returned with her remained gear and found a small bed and laid her head down, looking up at the ceiling, her eyes drifted over the cave. The light flicker and she saw that the walls covered in drawings. Clarke tried to make out their meanings but felt the day she spent walking crept up on her. Yawning, she felt hungry but exhausted to do anything about it. She closed her eyes with only the intention to rest for a few moments before she fell deeply asleep.

~

Lexa instructed her trackers to keep watch for Clarke after Mount Weather fell and after she learned that Clarke never entered Camp Jaha. They were ordered to watch for her and not intruded but keep two and four-legged creatures away from her. Indra and Octavia had been the first to volunteer, and it had been Octavia suggestion to get to the dropship first and leave her a weapon just in case Clarke happen to go there.

Indra objected saying, “She will know we have been there. No Heda this is wrong.” Lexa raised her hand and gave Octavia the go ahead, but to leave well before Clarke arrived and to leave no sign they had been there.

Lexa took Octavia aside and told her “Clarke is my responsibility now. The decision I made put her in this place, and I have to help her…” pausing, “I have to help her find her way back.”

“It’s not going to be easy Commander,” Octavia responded. “She hates herself, how could she not.”

It wasn’t a question, but Lexa answered anyway, “It wasn’t her fault.” Lexa put her fingers her forehead, trying to will the pain in her head to subside. When Lexa left Clarke at the mountain, she immediately regretted how she had disappointed Clarke. The die, cast by her hand. She didn’t know if she would be able to fix the pact she had made with the sky people and to Clarke. “None of this is, it was mine. It was mine alone. I made her into this,” and raised her voice. “I have to fight to make this right. I need to find Clarke and make it right with her, can’t you see?”

Octavia glanced at Indra who shook her head and was holding the hilt of her sword with a deathly grip appearing like she was ready to pull it out and cut her in half.

Indra never quite got Clarke and how she had a hold over her Commander, this outsider, this sky girl, but she would accept her instructions. She swore by her life; to obey and keep Clarke safe. Trusting in her Commander's wishes, if she needed her to do this, she would have to believe in Clarke also. Those thoughts, though she would keep to herself, she wanted to keep Octavia sharp. Putting fear into Octavia was for her safety and needed to keep her vigilant.

Lexa put her hand up again ending this discussion. “No more. Leave now, and I want word at sunset that you have found Clarke.”

They both bowed their heads and left the Commander’s tent on their way to catch up to Clarke.

~

Lexa started to pace in her tent after they left afraid to think about Clarke being alone and where she could be going. Lexa turned around and held her fist in the other hand behind her back and continued to walk the length of her tent. With her best trackers after Clarke, she was confident they would locate her but then what? Knowing the truth in her heart, she wanted to find Clarke first, bring her back and try to fix... Lexa stopped in place. Try to repair the mistake she made. At the time, Lexa thought she had made the correct decision, the duty to save her people overwhelming all her thoughts, including the defensive alliance she made with Clarke and the sky people. How wrong she had been, even after the words she spoke to Clarke outside of Mount Weather and tears she saw grow in Clarke's eyes. It was a deep ache in her heart and soul over her betrayal, how could Clarke ever forgive her?

Her duty was to her people and all the sacrifices she had made for them. Lexa hated that word _sacrifice_ , her heart carrying the heaviness of that word. Her people wouldn’t know the sacrifice as they lived their lives. They wouldn’t sense the profound loss that she felt, the losing of herself when she had to take a life and why she did it for them. A burden that a leader carried was a part of her duties, but at the mountain, this time, it wouldn’t be by her hand. Lexa wouldn’t be killing anyone, and she didn’t know it at the time, but she had put all in Clarke’s hands, and now the shame washed over her of what she had done, the bond she had broke with her and her betrayal to Clarke. Choices that she made and the burden she gave to Clarke to carry. She closed her eyes and felt the guilt, and it was making her nauseated in the grief at what she did to Clarke, the sacrifice of one’s soul, she knew too well. _What have I done?_

 _Wanheda, Commander of Death,_ the name from her clan that they had been calling Clarke and it was spreading to her coalition. The title sickened her because now Clarke was more vulnerable than before and the clans were frightened by her and the sky people. She rubbed her forehead again trying the will the pain to leave her. There will be leaders of the clans who will want to gather and discuss how the sky girl became so powerful. How did this happen, why the great Heda Leksa let the sky girl kill their greatest enemy? Lexa laughed dryly mocking her name, the guilt it carried hung heavy in her heart, and she felt like a coward. This feeling was something she had never experience in her life.

 _"Your duty to her people”_ was what the mountain man had said to her. _“You hold_ a great deal of _feelings for your people, Commander Lexa,_ ” Emerson had said to her. _“So do I, and I think we have a common goal. We can help each other. I can free your people, and we will agree never hunt your people again, just stand down.”_ How could she have let his words worm into her brain and foolishly leave Clarke alone to face them?

Remembering this again with him urging her to make this agreement, what she did for her people should have been a victory, it began to sour in her soul and made her feel empty.

Those last words she said to Clarke as she left her, _“May we meet again.”_ They tore through her and the guilt of what she had done. How quickly she cast aside the alliance with Clarke and sky people for what?

“Jok!” Lexa couldn’t longer wait, and as she stepped out of her tent, she yelled at the first passing warrior. “Lid in ai moba gapa!” He sprinted to fetch her horse.

~

Lexa found Octavia and Indra earlier that evening, and they had just located Clarke ducking into a cave. She had left for the dropship as Octavia suspected and told her that the cave belonged to Lincoln and should be safe for the night. They set up camp, and it was Lexa who took the first watch.

After midnight Octavia was still restless and she kicked off the tangle of blankets covering her legs, she couldn’t fall asleep with everything crashing into her head. They had followed Clarke’s tracks leading from the dropship and found her as she made it to Lincoln’s cave. All her thoughts were of her lover and the time they had spent together, uncertain of why he took her those many months ago. Falling in love with him, and now she wasn’t going to fall asleep. Cursing under her breath, she got up to join the Commander.

Octavia moved silently over to where the Commander was sitting with her back against a tree and Lexa nodded as she sat down and then turned to continued to peer over at the cave. In the beginning, she had a tenuous relationship with Lexa, hell she wanted her dead, but Clarke's pleading with Lexa had worked, and Octavia was curious to know why Lexa was determined to help Clarke after Mount Weather.

They sat in silence, and it was Lexa first spoke in a quiet voice, “I decided not to interfere and let the mountain men bomb Tondc. Clarke didn’t know that it was going to happen. I am sorry that hurt your relationship.”

Octavia blinked her eyes closed and sat there in silence after she spoke. Lexa had given her consent to speak. “I hated her for that. All those people that died. It hurt to see that.” She paused then continued, “Indra also said it wasn’t her fault. She said it was the mountain men’s fault. I’ve been,” Stopping again. “It’s just been hard living on the ground. It’s so dangerous and beautiful. Seeing the Earth from the Ark, we had no idea what it was going to be like.”

Lexa gazed at this strange girl from space. “We have a lot to learn from one another.”

“I know you want to help Clarke, but why now?”

“I made a mistake. I’ve put Clarke in danger with the other clans. They see her and the sky people as a threat, and that was not my intention. I should have stood with Clarke when she took the mountain down. I regret my actions. My duty is to my people, and I know is a hard thing to understand, but I let my duty out weight my…judgement. I will not make that mistake again.”

Octavia didn’t know what to say. First, that this is the longest conversation she has ever had with her, and second, she could tell the Lexa was holding something back. She sensed that it was more and not because she had hurt Clarke, it’s something else.

“You’re sitting in the dark looking a cave where Clarke is probably sleeping, and you’re afraid for her safety? I know you said you made a mistake, but it feels like you're leaving some out.”

Lexa felt trapped. Octavia prying was getting her nerves, and she didn’t want to snap at her. The moon was waxing over the mountain the hour late, and exhaustion from the ride and sitting against this tree was causing an ache in her back. She stood up and without saying a word and headed back to camp.

“Hmm, well that was interesting.” Octavia shook her head and continued the second watch.


	3. Chapter 3

_Summer 1982, Camp Blue Horizon, Virginia_

The faded yellow school bus lumbered through the winding roads to the campgrounds as Lexa hum to herself listening to a song by Pat Benatar on her _Walkman_. The warm air blew through the open windows while she studied the mountains and the trees lining the road. The way grew familiar, with only a few more miles to the camp where she would spend four weeks in the summer sun and at the beautiful lake with her best friend, Clarke.

They both enjoyed coming to this camp, as they had for the past four years when they were young campers. This year, they would be _Junior Camp Volunteers_. The memories they made would be etched into their skin with summer tans when they came back home. Clarke’s mom encouraged them to try new things because in the fall they both would be starting their freshman year of high school, and told them, _“This kind of experience will give you a leg up in getting a job in the future. It will look great on a college application.”_

They came to a stop, and Lexa watched while the younger kids lined up and grew excited as they jumped off the bus and tore across the open campgrounds. Lexa cringed at the noise and wasn't looking to this part of her journey, but remembered they did the same thing when they were their age, and she understood the joy of being in a new place, away from parents and school.

Stepping off the bus with her bags in hand, Lexa closed her eyes and took her first breath of clean mountain air. Opening them, she took in the beautiful clear blue skies and listened to a multitude of chirping birds across the camp and the murmuring of the forest around her joined with the children creating a symphony of sound.

Clarke arrived at the camp the day before, while Lexa took the second bus the next day. Lexa wanted to see her dad off on his business trip to Los Angeles. Knowing that it would be a month before she saw her dad again and would miss him.

Lexa checked her cabin assignment and made her way over to their home for the next month, and as she approached the door, she could hear the dulcet sounds coming from the open cabin window. Lexa smiled at the music. It was one of Clarke’s favorites songs.  
  
Lexa pushed the door open and was greeting by Clarke’s backside in the shortest pair of denim cutoffs she had ever seen on her. Clarke held a brush in her hand and was swaying to the intro trumpets and sax to _Tower of Power's_ song; _You’re Still a Young Man_. Clarke moved back and forth along with the music as Lexa put her bags down and Clarke began to sing.

 _You’re still a young man, baby_  
_Whoo-ooh, don’t waste your time_

 _You’re still a young man, baby_  
_Whoo-ooh, don’t waste your time_

Clarke turned around at the moment at feeling her presence and smiled as she began to serenade her. Lexa sat on her bed and wrapped her arms around her knees and swayed to the music with Clarke.

Clarke winked at her and danced across the room for then pull Lexa off the bed to join her. Swirling her around the room and dropping her back on the bed while she giggled. That last part of the song was Clarke favorite verse and put her whole body and soul in her performance and dramatically went to her knees and gave her a breathtaking smile as the song ended.

Clarke tossed her brush on her bed and got up and pulled her into a hug. “You’re finally here. I’ve been going out of my mind waiting for you.”

“I noticed,” Lexa joked, “I love your new dance routine. You’ve been practicing.”

Clarke laughed and laid down on her bed. “Just for you, and you’ve seen all my moves, Lexa.”

“That’s true.”

Lexa noticed in the standing open wardrobe, four light yellow T-shirts with bright blue writing across the front with the words, “ _Jr. Camp Volunteer_ ” with matching pairs of blue shorts, hanging on the rack.

"These are nice," Lexa said.

“Yeah, I thought you would like the new colors. At least it isn’t pink like last years.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me. Oh and Clarke it isn’t that I don’t like pink, I just don't think it should be the first choice for girls.”

“I know. It’s a strange thing that we need a color to identify the sex of a person, but it doesn’t bother me as much as you."

“Did you know that pink was for boys, and blue was for girls way before the 40’s? Pink for girls is a new idea, and it’s only in the past thirty years, or so that pink became the color of femininity for women and girls.”

Clarke smiled and listened while Lexa unpacked. Lexa would drop bits of information she kept in her head that fascinated Clarke. Their conversations would venture into space, historical women and to aquatic creatures. Clarke thought that Lexa was one of the brightest people she knew for her age. Lexa didn’t flaunt how smart she was and thought that maybe one day she would make a great teacher, but Lexa may have other ideas, and since she was an avid reader, perhaps she would become a writer one day.

Lexa continued talking as Clarke's mind wandered, now that Lexa was finally here their summer could start. A new season filled with the sun, water, and her best friend. They had been friends for past five years and spent almost every day together, and wondered if their friendship was different from other girls.

Lexa made her comfortable with herself when they hung out, and she would find herself catching glimpses of her when she wasn’t watching. The girl who fell so many mornings ago wasn’t that little kid anymore. She was becoming a beautiful young girl, and a strange sensation would come over Clarke if saw a boy showing interest, although Lexa didn't pay much attention to them.

Lexa paused. “Are you listening to me?”

“Always. Hey, you want to take a walk by the lake? The camp orientation isn’t until 11, then lunch.”

~

“Why did you throw mud at me?” Clarke winced at the fresh welt on her knee. The redness was growing and spreading pain down her leg. They were down at the beach near the lake when she brushed up against a bush and inadvertently must have disturbed a honey bee and wasn’t quick enough to get out of the way before it stung her so fast it took her breath away.

“First, I didn’t throw mud at you. I placed in on you because it helps with swelling and it can sometimes draw out the venom when it starts to dry. Besides the nurse’s offices wasn’t near us and it was the first thing I could think of.”

Clarke looked miserable. “It hurts, a lot.”

“You’re not allergic are you?”

“No, I think I don't think so. It just stings. I haven’t been stung in a long time, and this one really hurts.”

“Well, it could have been a lot worst,” Lexa stated as she examined her. “If it were a wasp it wouldn’t have stopped with one sting. The poor little honey bee can only sting you once, and then it dies.”

“You’re taking his side.”

“It's a female bee, and I am not taking sides. If you can wait right here, I’ll go and see if the nurse has anything else we can put on it, okay?”

Clarke poked out her lower lip out in a pout, and Lexa held back her smile and patted her knee. “I’ll be right back.”

When Lexa left the cabin, Clarke fell back on her bed and signed at almost getting caught staring too long at Lexa. What actually happened at the lake; Lexa distracted her. Well, that wasn’t altogether true. Lexa was telling her the history of the lake, and when she turned towards her, she couldn’t help but look at her lips, and how she would run her tongue along them and Clarke involuntarily started to move towards her. The sudden wave of pain stopped her in her tracks when she brushed against a bee who stung her before she could jump out its way.

Clarke started to laugh at the memory. Like a bee attracted to a flower. That’s what it appeared like whenever she looked at Lexa. Lexa was the flower, and she was the bee. "Oh, brother you've got it bad." Clarke wondered what her feelings meant and covered her face with her hands in embarrassment thinking about her friend.

~

When Lexa stepped out of their cabin, she put her back against the door and closed her eyes for a moment calming herself, and after a few more seconds she pushed off of the door and headed towards the main office with a purpose.

Lexa recalled what happened down by the lake. As they walked, she naturally fell behind Clarke on the trail and couldn’t stop staring at her legs in her cute shorts. Lexa tried to look away, and Clarke wouldn’t have known, but her eyes kept drifting back to admire the shape and tone of her muscles.

Lexa argued with herself that it was okay to admire her. Clarke was after all her best friend and really, would she have objected? Her mind won out, and she stepped in front of Clarke so she wouldn’t be distracted and started to ramble on about something she read in the camp's brochure.

When they wandered by the lake, Lexa tried to picture Clarke now and how her eyes wandered down from her eyes to her lips. Lexa shut her eyes and visualized the startled looked on her face after the bee stung her and broke up that moment and she rushed over to see what happened. Clarke looked embarrassed, and her leg wasn’t the only thing turning red. Lexa saw a pink tinge covering her cheeks. It had been an awkward moment between them. Like an unspoken thought trying to connect. It was just a moment, and it faded as she quickly smeared mud over the sting to cool it off.

“Hey, Lexa!”

A male voice startled her out of her thoughts, and Lexa turned and saw a boy running over to her. She remembered him from last year’s summer camp.

"Hi Kevin, I haven’t seen you around since last year. I see you’re a volunteer also.”

Kevin tugged at the collar. “Yeah, my dad wanted me to stay out of trouble this year, so he signed me up, I didn’t have a choice. Guess I’ll just try to make the most of it. Say, do you know if Clarke is coming this year?” He looked hopeful.

Lexa paused a little alarm at his interest in her friend. “Yeah, we’re staying cabin 14. I was just going to the nurse’s office for Clarke’s bee sting. You want to come with me?”

“No, that okay I just wanted to talk to Clarke. I’ll see you around Lexa.” He turned and ran towards their cabin.

An unfamiliar fear started to build in Lexa. Of course, she saw boys at school stare at Clarke; she’s a beautiful girl. The thought of a guy liking Clarke shook Lexa, guessing this is how it starts, and how their friendship ends. Clarke will probably want to spend all her time with him. All those fun things that she had planned with Clarke this summer wouldn't happen.

Clarke wasn’t that tomboyish kid anymore. Although she was fierce and loyal, she was also self-confident. It was the way Clarke carried herself. Like the first time she ever saw her, she took control of a problem and made things happen.

Lexa smiled at the memory and had to admit she also noticed that Clarke, well to put it simply, she was filling out more than the other girls in their class and anyone with those set of blues eyes you couldn’t help to see how beautiful she is. Heck, she had to catch herself from staring at them. _“Maybe that’s why I like her so much; Clarke is charming, kind, thoughtful and she is her best friend who is drop dead gorgeous, who I’m in lo…”_ Lexa closed eyes and pushed down this thought.

Lexa picked up a bag of ice and ointment for Clarke’s sting, and when she rounded the corner, she saw Clarke standing by the cabin door and stopped. Watching as Clarke laughed at something Kevin said and he turned to leave as she approached.

A twinge of jealousy swept over her, and her legs wouldn’t stop moving. Lexa couldn’t look at her, and as she passed Clarke, she handed her the supplies and grabbed her volunteer gear and when into the bathroom and closed the door louder than she meant too.

Clarke jumped when Lexa slammed the door and stood there for a moment in shock. “Hey, Lexa are you okay?”

Clarke could hear a quiet _“Yes.”_ But something changed with Lexa and Clarke's mind went to a dark place. _Is Lexa mad at me?_

Clarke was surprised when Kevin knocked on their door and remembered him from last year. He was the kid that almost got kicked out camp last year with a warning that smoking wasn’t allowed. One of the kitchen staff found him behind the main hall smoking, and flicking lit matches into a pile of pine needles and started a small fire, and they put it out, with his first warning. The next violation, they would kick him out of camp and told him they don’t give refunds. Clarke made a bet with him that he wouldn't be back and was surprised when he showed up to brag and laughed with him when he said that his dad wasn’t going to put up with any more bullshit from him. Fly straight, or his ass is off to military camp.

“Hey Lexa, really are you okay? Lexa finally stepped out of the bathroom, and her eyes were red.

“Oh my god, what’s wrong? What happened? Are you okay?” Clarke stumbled to a stop.

Instead of answering her questions, Lexa turned and asked, “Are you ready to go?”

Clarke was shocked. Lexa never acted like this before. She stopped her from leaving and held her hand. “You’ve got to talk to me. What happened? Did someone hurt you?”

Lexa uttered something that that was too soft for her to hear and sat down on her bed. Clarke asked her again, “What is it?”

Lexa looked up with tears in her eyes and bravely asked, “Is Kevin your boyfriend?”

Of all the things that raced through Clarke’s head, that wasn’t one of them. “Kevin? No why would give you that idea?”

“He stopped me in the yard and wanted to talk to you, so I just thought. I mean if he is, I guess it’s okay, and then I saw you laughing, and well, he does seem to like you.”

“Stop, just stop Lexa. First of all, _we_ , both of us are on vacation together.” Pointing at herself and then at Lexa, she paused to think. _Is it jealousy coming from Lexa?_ “I mean, do you like him? Is this the problem, you like him?”

“Me, no I’m…” Lexa rubbed her temple, feeling a headache behind her eyes. “I don’t know what I mean. I guess I just wasn’t expecting he would, that... It wasn’t something I considered before, I mean if you like him.” Clarke moved to sit next to Lexa on her bed and took her hand.

Clarke rubbed her thumb over the back of her hand for a few moments then tilted her chin up so she could look into her eyes. “Lexa, you’re my best friend. You know everything about me. Have I ever given the idea that I liked someone, especially a boy?”

“No, but I was thinking, maybe it’s because I’m holding you back.”

Clarke smiled and laughed softly, “No, you haven’t been holding me back Lexa, but I do like someone.”

Lexa tensed up at that remark. “Okay, I understand.” She tried to stand, but Clarke held her in place.

“No, Lexa you don’t.” She paused to give herself the courage to share with Lexa her feelings. Now finally having the chance to reveal what she was only beginning to understand the words caught in her throat.

Clarke looked at the floor and took a chance and spilled her heart out to her. “Let me just say that I’ve liked this person the first time I met them. This person makes me laugh and think. It’s a joy every time I’m with this person.” Clarke turned her head to look deeply into her eyes.“Can you understand what I’m trying to say?” Clarke held her breath.

Lexa pondered the meaning of her words, and she gazed back at Clarke and hopeful smile on her face. Lexa took a breath, wishing with what she saw in Clarke's eyes was true. “Are you talking about me?”

“Yes...I like you, Lexa.” Clarke swallowed, she was getting into some deep waters, and she hadn’t thought out exactly how, when or where she would share with Lexa her darkest secret.

The sat in silence looking at each other as if it were the first time when a bell outside rang out and broke up the moment between them.

Clarke checked the time on her watch, and it was close to 11 am. “Listen, when we get back to our cabin, we’ll talk about all of this. Is that okay? Are we good?”

Lexa’s head was still spinning with all of this new information. _Clarke likes me. She likes me!_ The confusion and hurt she felt early dissipated into thin air and replaced with happiness. Lexa squeezed Clarke's hand back. “Yes, we are.”

~

They stepped into the warm summer air, and Lexa contemplated the meaning of what Clarke said to her, and the implication of her words was clear. Both were walking into uncharted waters and thought about the other kids at school, and their crude remarks regarding other students that they assumed were different, and the accusations directed at them were meant to belittle. Including slurs, they said to hurt and alienate that person.

When Clarke told her that she likes her, it was something more profound than just friendship. Looking over at Clarke she gazed shyly back at her and was blushing, a rare sight. Lexa could count on one hand when Clarke blushed including today.

Lexa had questions about her feelings for Clarke also; perhaps they can figure this out together. Lexa reached over and rubbed the outside of Clarke’s arm, and she just blushed even harder making Lexa smile.

The grounds filled with all the young campers as they made their way to the main hallway. In front of the room stood the camp leaders with a whiteboard giving instructions and phone numbers in case of emergencies and on each chair were the camp’s orientation pamphlets.

They took their seat, and Lexa quickly scanned the booklet. Her eyes stopped on the part concerning fraternizing. She nudged Clarke and pointed to the page. Clarke quickly read the passage and looked back at Lexa with a worried look on her face. It was against the rules and was cause for termination of employment. They both put their books down at the same time.

Okay, they’re friends and that nothing changed between them. They liked each other, and it was innocent, but she felt exposed.

Lexa recalled articles in the late 70’s Anita Bryant; the famous orange juice woman was making a big stink in Florida over legislation that prohibited discrimination against gay people in Dade County. The bigot said that their state’s law would hurt children and was against her religion. The voters turned over the measure, and it sparked intense hatred in other states, and they also overturned laws of the same anti-discrimination legislation that had in place to protect people. It must have been frightening to be young and kicked out of your home or fired from a job because of who you loved. These feelings she shared with Clarke could be dangerous for them if someone found out and they needed to have their talk and soon.

The agenda for the evening was movie night outside under the stars with Lexa and Clarke's favorite; _Disney’s Parent Trap_. They helped the crew in setting up a big screen and seating for the viewing and headed back to their cabin, with an agenda of their own.

Stepping into their cabin, they both went to their respective beds and sat down and looked at each other.

“I don’t know where to begin Clarke.”

“Me either, it’s harder than I thought. I guess we can take this slow and stay friends like always. I mean, with the camp’s restriction we can’t.” Clarke stopped to look over at her and again saw sadness on Lexa’s face.

“Clarke, our feelings matter, but I know we can’t ignore that people won’t approve.”

“Honestly Lexa I don’t care what other people think, but I don’t want this to hurt us. It’s dangerous Lexa. The world hates people like us.” The meaning of that unspoken word hung between them. Clarke got up and sat next to Lexa. “Listen, what we feel is real. That’s what matters. The other stuff is just a distraction. We haven’t changed. Our feelings are the same. It’s just that we can’t express them now and certainly not here. I know that it doesn’t seem fair.”

Clarke paused and remembered how it was when she was little. “My mom and I were all alone, and we moved a lot, and I didn’t have any real friends. Now, we are in a stable place, and I have you. I’m not sure what to think right now, but one thing I know for sure is that I trust you with my feelings. We will have to wait and hope that life will be fair to us.”

Lexa reached out to hold Clarke’s hand. It was the simple things. Like the sweat in their palms mingling together, this felt like home when she was with Clarke. A home that Clarke carried in her hands and on her face and looking into her eyes, she saw love.

Clarke reached over and pulled Lexa into a gentle hug. They hugged before, but this time, it held a different meaning. It was a special moment for them, and Clarke pulled back and looked Lexa into her eyes and slowly pressed her forehead to hers and closed her eyes. “You’re my home, Lexa. I feel safe with you, and I never want to lose you.”

This time, when Lexa held her, the meaning was profound and tinged with an understanding that what they had between was love and she pulled back to look at Clarke she could see she felt it too. “We have time, and I’m not going to leave you, Clarke.”

“I know, it’s what I love about you, Lexa.” Clarke felt that for once in her short life being able to express in the quiet of their cabin was a real sense of who she truly was becoming.

That night after the movie, Clarke was already asleep in her bed when Lexa pulled out her journal to write about the day. Lexa poured out her thoughts and impression of events and people. It mainly was about today and Clarke, the words they spoke between them. They cared about each other and for now, if she couldn’t show her physically, she’ll keep those feelings in the words that she felt for her. Lexa wanted to remember this day when everything changed between them.

~

They were into their second week, and this morning the girls were up and out before the first of the young campers. The day activities were broken down by ages. The younger kids would be doing arts and crafts, and older teenagers would be learning about the preservation of the forest lands. Learning how to leave a trail if you get lost in the woods and how to make a fire.

Lexa was with the younger kids and was showing them how to make friendship bracelets and painting on the rocks they found on the walk into the nearby forest. Clarke was on the lake with the older campers, and she instructed them on safety on the water and always to bring a friend in case of an emergency.

They met at lunch over somewhat burnt hot dogs and chips, and Clarke was already showing signs of a tan. “Did you wear your sunscreen, Clarke?”

“Of course, did you? Clarke joked back. That earned her a playful nudge on her side, and she looked over and saw the faint signs of a smile on Lexa's lips. Clarke’s heart started to race a little when she saw Lexa's smile was just for her alone. It was strange feeling now to see Lexa as more than her best friend. It was a secret between them that made it even more special. Clarke felt connected to her on a deeper level that made the time away from her seem like an eternity. She wondered if this was normal when you cared deeply for someone.

“Penny for your thoughts,” Lexa said as she finished her lunch wiping the mustard off hands.

“You make me happy Lexa.”

“I think that’s more than a pennies worth Clarke.”

The ending lunch bell rang, and Clarke checked the time on her watch and poked her lower lip out in a pout when their time together was coming to an end. “I have to set up for archery over in Meyer’s field. I’ll see you later at dinner.”

“Have fun.” Lexa felt the separation immediately as Clarke walk away leading a bunch of young campers with her. It was silly she thought. All Lexa wanted was to be on the lake in a canoe and just spend the entire day with her. No kids, no adults, only Clarke.

Lexa felt a tap on her shoulder and turned to see the Camp Director. “Ms. Anderson, can I help you?”

“Could you join me in my office, say in about a ten minutes?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Lexa's heart began to race at what she could have wanted from her. The few times she spoke with her, she was curt and brief. The woman held herself as an authority on everything.

Lexa quietly knocked the door to Ms. Anderson office, and she motioned her inside as she shut the door. The older woman was talking on the phone to a parent, or so she thought and sat down. Lexa looked around her office and on the walls hung numerous photographs over the years of the people that had come and gone. Awards for being the best run campground for the past eight years.

Ms. Anderson hung up the phone and turned to face Lexa. She couldn’t read her expression at all, and her leg started to jump up and down in anticipation. Not sure of what she might have done to have her sitting in the Camp Director’s office.

Ms. Anderson looked down at a notepad on her desk and put her glasses to read. Finally, she spoke up. “You’re in cabin 19 correct, with um,” Looking down again. “with Miss Clarke Griffin?”

“No, I’m in cabin 14,” Lexa said, “With Clarke.” Her heart was racing now. She felt it pulsing through her shirt, thinking for sure that she could see thumping away. Did someone find out about them? Will they be kicked out of camp?”

“Okay,” She drawled and removed her glasses. “It’s come to my attention that Kevin Wilson has been seen kissing the girl in cabin 19.”

“We’re in cabin 14, Ms. Anderson.”

She looked down again at her notes. “Yes, the name I have here is Clarke Griffin, and it says she’s in cabin 19.”

“That’s impossible,” Lexa said.

“The boy in question gave me her name. Ms. Woods.”

Lexa immediate reaction was a painful thud in her heart. A shock that Clarke might have kissed Kevin and lied about her feelings towards her shocked Lexa to her core. Lexa's mind hoped it wasn't true, and she her raise her voice, “He must be lying then, because Clarke is with me, in cabin 14. You could come and see her things are there.”

“No need to speak to me in that tone. I’m just trying to maintain order. This campground has rules, and if camper volunteer breaks them, it will lead to everyone trying to break the rules here. You see those awards on my wall? I didn’t get them by been soft and letting people do whatever they want around here. My word is law.” She paused. Lexa could see that she was getting visibly angry. “Cabin 14 or 19 whatever, the name I have is Clarke Griffin. You couldn’t have been around every day to see if it happened or not, why are you trying to protect her?

Lexa took in a breath to try to calm down. This meeting got out of hand so quickly she wasn’t sure what was going to happened next. “Have you spoke with Clarke?”

“She is waiting outside, and after you leave, I will talk with her.”

“I want to be with her if you don’t mind. She’s my best friend, and I’ll stand with her. Someone has been telling lies, and I want to get to the bottom of this as much as you.” Lexa hoped with her calm, reasonable voice, that surely that would help.

Ms. Anderson huffed and got up and went to the door and motioned for the girl in the waiting room to come in.

When the girl walked in, it wasn’t Clarke. She looked sort of like Clarke. She had blonde hair and was the same height, but definitely wasn’t Clarke.

Lexa started to laugh, and Ms. Anderson looked in her direction. “What’ so funny young lady?”

“This isn’t Clarke; this is Sara, Sara Murphy.”

“Oh, but the name I have here is Clarke Griffin. Somebody must have miss identified her.” Ms. Anderson went back to her desk and sat down hard in her chair.

That was close to an apology Lexa was going to get. Lexa stood up. “Can I leave now Ms. Anderson? I have some kids waiting for me.”

She waved her out, and as Lexa turned to closed the door, she saw Sara whispered, “I’m sorry.”

Lexa made a beeline to Kevin who was standing near the open field where Clarke was showing a young camper how to line up her arrow to hit the bullseye.

Lexa pushed him hard and knocked him off balance. “Hey, what’s your problem?”

“You’re my problem. You almost got Clarke kicked out of camp.”

He held up his hands at that moment, and Clarke heard the commotion and saw Kevin getting pushed again by Lexa. She ran over to see what happened.

“Hey, Lexa what’s going on here?

“This asshole almost got you kicked out of camp, he told the camp director that he was kissing you, but it was Sara Murphy, who by the way is in her office right now Kevin.”

“Damn, okay listen I didn’t mean to say it was Clarke, it was the first name I could think of at the time.”

“What? I thought we were friends Kevin.” Now it was Clarke’s turn to question him.

“I know, I know, I made a mistake. I didn’t want to get my girlfriend in trouble, so I said I kissed you. I thought that it would blow over, I didn’t believe it would get anyone in trouble.”

“Did you read the orientation pamphlet, Kevin?” Lexa said. Her face was red, and her fists were balled up. Clarke saw them and put a calming hand her arm, and Lexa released her fists and started to shake them out.

Kevin looked at Lexa. “I’m sorry, but I was just coming here to say goodbye. The camp director kicked me out this time, and I can’t come back. My dad is going to kill me. I’m so screwed.”

Lexa shook her head. “Kevin, I just don’t know what to say to you, but the apology should be to Clarke. She didn’t deserve this. I’ve got to get back to my kids. I’ll see you later at dinner, Clarke.”

Kevin made a quick apology and left, and Clarke rushed to stop Lexa. “Hey, you need to calm down.”

Lexa thought she might cry. All the emotion of what just happened cause a surge of adrenaline and her legs felt like they would give way any moment.

Lexa quietly said, “I wish I could hold you right now.”

Clarke looked around and put her arms out, and Lexa fell into them. They hugged for just a few moments, and when Clarke released her, she patted her on her back. “Thanks for coming to my rescue.”

That cause Lexa to finally smile and break into a little laugh. “Boy, you have no idea. I’ve wasted enough time this afternoon.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I just need to get back to my class. I think I have a headache coming on.”

“Can I get you anything?”

“I’ll manage, really I’m okay. I’m feeling better. I’ll tell you all about it later.”

Clarke watched as Lexa walk back to the main camp then stopped and turned around to smile and waved at her, and she smiled back. Lexa defended her honor. _Make sure you never pissed her off Griffin_. The fire Clarke saw when Lexa protected her was something new.

~

Later after dinner and the campers left to their respective cabins, Lexa and Clarke were in the bathroom washing out their shorts, T-shirts, and underclothes for the next day and hanging them in the stand-up closet. “These should be dry by morning,” Clarke said. Lexa was behind her and stepped out the bathroom and turned off the light.

Clarke plopped down on her bed, and sight brought a tug to Lexa’s heart. Just looking at Clarke freshly bathed in her clean white T-shirt and loose-fitting shorts and wow did she look sexy. Being _just friends_ until it was safe to express their feelings was harder than she thought.

“Do you have to look so good right now?” Lexa said, and she pulled the covers back from her bed and sat down.

“What?” Clarke drawled. She looked down at herself and up at Lexa. “You should talk.” Lexa was dressed almost the same as her, but her shirt was baby blue. Clarke swallowed hard at seeing the outline of her breast from the edge of v in her shirt. She looked away and closed her eyes.

“Are you okay Clarke?” She sat crossed legged on her bed and pulled out her journal and put her glasses on.

“I’m okay.” Clarke opened one eye and peering over at her Lexa, then closed it again. “Um, you look really nice too.”

“Lexa looked down at herself and back over to Clarke. “You’ve seen me in this a more than a dozen times, Clarke.”

“I know, but somehow it’s different now.” Clarke opened her eyes and turned on her bed and lean on her elbow. “You are really beautiful Lexa. Thanks again for coming to my rescue. You're my knight in shining armor."

Lexa smiled and decided to write in her journal in the morning. After this unusual day, she was more tired than she realized. Lexa removed her glasses and placed them on top of her journal and turned out the light and moved in the dark to Clarke’s bed and lifted up the blanket and laid beside her. Lexa put her head on against her shoulder and her an arm around Clarke’s waist. In the quiet of their cabin, they both breathe out in a contented breath.

After a short moment, Lexa asked softly. “Is this all right?”

“It’s more than alright,” Clarke whispered. “Aren’t you afraid that we’ll get in trouble?”

“We aren’t doing anything Clarke. We’re just sleeping.”

Lexa brought Clarke’s palm to her lips and kissed it gently and laid it back down tucking their intertwined fingers under her chin. After a few quiet moments, Lexa whispered to Clarke.

_I never knew that I would find heaven laying in your arms_

_and in this perfect moment,_

_if I am completely still_

_I hear our hearts joining together._

Clarke sighed and kissed her on her head. They snuggled down into the bed and closed their eyes. As the night settled down on them, and in quiet of this moment their hearts did begin beating in the same rhythm.


	4. Chapter 4

Clarke was alone and lost in the forest.

The night was inky black when it found Clarke sitting with her back leaning against a large tree, looking out trying to make sense of the layers of darkness before her. In her mind, the night looked back at her asking the same questions. She felt its heaviness in the gloom, and it was piercing into her, tearing away any semblance of who she thought she was. Sitting here in the dark, in the loneliness, nothing and nobody could see her cry. The shadow was indifferent to her tears she spilled. It didn’t know why she was here, in the dark, questioning what she saw when looking out, and it wouldn’t have the answer that she needed to hear.  
  
After leaving Lincoln’s cave early that next morning she continued to travel what she hoped was southward. Her first thoughts were of finding water. It had been a least two days since she tasted the cool liquid in her mouth, and what little food she found in Lincoln’s cave had calmed her stomach, yet not drinking water was certain death.  
  
Here she sat seeing nothing as the waves of sadness had her in its grip.

Here she thought this would be the end of her.

She would die.

Her flesh and bones would be consumed up by the forest dwellers, and the rest of her would melt away. No one would ever know what happened to her. It would be as though she never existed. She pulled the blanket tighter around her, wanting to feel protected against her thoughts. When she finally closed her eyes, she tried to will sleep to come. If she did wake tomorrow, she wasn’t sure if she cared.

~

“I didn’t lose her,” Octavia said to the Commander for the second time, yet she had lost her. Clarke had left the cave sometime between the change of watchers, they had searched the area surrounding the cave and couldn’t find her tracks. They had wasted the better part of the morning watching the cave unaware she had already left. By noon, Octavia had approached and entered the cave and came running out to inform the Commander that Clarke wasn’t in the cave. The leaves and debris littering the forest made it difficult to see where she had gone, an excuse Lexa didn’t want to hear.  
  
“Then, where is she?” Lexa said through gritted teeth.

“I’ll find her. I swear by my life I’ll find Clarke.” Octavia left the Commander and headed back to Lincoln’s cave.  
  
Octavia stood outside of Lincoln's dwelling looking at the ground willing it to point into the direction Clarke traveled. Just outside the cave Octavia could see the marks Clarke’s boots made in the earth. Running her fingers over the impression in the dirt. Most were going inside. She paced outside the cave and out of frustration kicked at the debris covering the ground. "Where are you?" And then she saw it. One out of place footprint she hadn’t noticed before because leaves had hidden it from view. Octavia followed its mates until she saw a boot print moving away into the forest. She followed it for some time until the light was beginning to fade. Octavia would have to use another way to find Clarke when Indra approached from behind as she stood looking out into the forest.

“What are your senses telling you, Octavia.”

Without looking back, Octavia knelt down and put her hand on the ground and closed her eyes, and let her other insights feel and hear the forest. Taking a deep breath of the woods and any lingering smells out of place.

She shook her head defeatedly. “I don’t know.”

“What of your mind Octavia. What is it you know about her, where her heart is, in the forest?”  
  
“Clarke's lost, afraid,” Octavia pausing. “She’s all alone.”  
  
“Would Clarke keep walking, my young warrior?”  
  
“Perhaps, she is a fighter, and smart. That I know for sure.”  
  
“Look at this, Octavia.” Indra pointed to broken branches lining a path to Octavia’s left. She stood up and nodded to Indra and began to follow the path further into the forest.

Octavia was frustrated, with herself and Clarke. Wondering if they found Clarke to what end? What was the purpose of following her, when she apparently wanted to leave everything and everyone behind?

Octavia felt for Clarke and tried to understand her reasoning. Knowing the dangers of this new land and how unprepared they were when the dropped from the Ark into hostile and unforgiving nature. Now in this forest, walking into another unknown world.

Octavia craved structure after she discovered Trikru people and their culture, she found a place to belong. Clarke had lost that connection to everyone and now understood Indra’s question. What did she know about her?

Clarke was broken and lost. Afraid to trust, afraid to reach out for another’s comfort. Just to have her hand slapped away when she sought out help, a connection. Deciding now that maybe Clarke wouldn’t take anything from anyone, it hurt too much to trust. Maybe Clarke didn’t feel she deserved to be loved or respected. After everything, she had tried to accomplish. Trying to free their people and have Lexa betray her in the end. She got hurt, of that, she could understand.

What had changed? Lexa had felt guilty for betraying Clarke, and she needed to repair the damage in their relationship. Her duty now was to help them, to reconnect somehow. To show Clarke, she wasn’t alone.

She did feel a connection to Clarke. Kindred spirits whose sole purpose was to survive despite the odds to the contrary. Protected by a loving brother, hidden away from sight until the brightness of her mind refused to be held down by the powers that be. She was no longer kept trapped by the rules set down by sky people. Some people to foolish and selfish to understand what it meant to be human and want to survive. No, to live. She took in a fresh breath of air and caught a scent. Octavia bent down to see more of her boot prints and followed them further into the dark forest with just a sliver of moonlight to guide her.

Then she saw Clarke sitting with her eyes closed leaning against a tree. Octavia looked up into the leaf-covered canopy and to the stars above, in relief. She stood still and kept her eyes on her until she heard Indra approaching her from behind and put up her finger to her lips to quieten her steps. They were almost too close to Clarke, and they stepped back and blended into the forest to watch over her. Octavia wasn’t going to take her eyes off of her this time.

In a quiet voice, Indra said to Octavia. “I’ll inform Heda you have found the sky girl.” She nodded back to Indra as she moved back into the forest. Relieved at finding Clarke, she contemplated what they would do next.

~

Something was nudging Clarke to consciousness. A soft breeze moving across her face was soothing. She took in a deeper breath and opened her eyes. She could sense it now with the light just becoming visible to wipe away the dark. Then it faded away, and she waited long seconds until the wind brought it back to her, and now she could hear water moving and splashing against rocks.  
  
She sat up and waited again, and she could smell nothing but the forest around her. Had she imagined the smell of water? It hit her once more, and this time she stood up and walked towards the air carrying the scent. It was getting stronger and more distinct and as she rounded an outcropping of rocks, hidden from view not one hundred feet from the spot she sat was a small flowing stream. Clarke cried out in a sigh of relief. She had never seen a more beautiful site in her life. Not the Earth, spinning below as they circled the globe or arriving on the ground, believing they were the first humans to walk on it for almost hundred years. It was this beautiful stream flowing carefree past where she stood, carrying itself away into the forest.  
  
Clarke tossed her gear to the side and pulled out the canteens and filled them and started to gather wood and materials to make a fire. She wanted so bad just to put her hand in the water a scoop it into her mouth to quench the thirst that had made her feel lost and afraid. But it wouldn’t be safe until she had boiled away the pathogens.

Evasive thoughts still poked at her and nudged at her to stop trying and lay down in the water and just float away. It was telling her. _You need to rest, lay yourself down, and I will take care of you. Your fight is over._

She worked quickly with her flint, scraping it fast against her blade, finally seeing a small spark and she blew softly, placing little bits of dry brush over it as it started to smoke. Blowing until it grew as she put tiny twigs into its flame. The evasive thoughts that plague her throughout the night were drifting away. Her only thoughts now were of clean, clear water.

Clarke filled and boiled the two canteens of water for a bit and then set in the stream to cool off. She waited until it finally became cold enough to drink. After finished it off, she filled it again and brought back to the fire. Finishing the second canteen, she repeated the process. Clarke's mind became clearer and uncomplicated. The thoughts of dying and giving up were pushed back into a room where she locked the door and threw away the key.


	5. Chapter 5

_Trigger warnings.  
_

_Late Spring 1983, Virginia_

Clarke was out of breath when she reached Lexa's home and rang the doorbell and waited for few moments for her to answer. She tried again and still nothing. Worried, Clarke searched in the bushes and found the fake rock that held their spare key and stepped inside and called out to her.

Clarke found Lexa laying on her bed with her eyes closed and could hear the music blaring out of the headphones covering her ears. Tears covered Lexa's face, and she knocked lightly on the opened door causing her to open her eyes, and more tears came pouring out.

"I've got you." Clarke rushed to her side pulling Lexa into an embrace as she took off her headphones and tossed them on the bed behind her. "It's going to be okay, Lexa."

"No, it's not, Clarke." Lexa sniffed and clung to her. Clarke gently rocked her trying to soothe her grief, sensing it wasn’t going to be enough, but it was all she could offer her.  
  
Lexa left her a confusing message on their answering machine after she got home from the hospital and was in shock. Her dad was sick and maybe dying. Lexa told her the doctor's prognosis for him, and couldn’t make any sense of its meaning, and Clarke raced over to her house in a panic.

It started last fall when her father had a persistent cold that he couldn’t shake through the winter months and it had grown worse. Adam lost weight, and strange dark spots were becoming visible on his arms and chest. Her father tried to hide them under his clothes, but Lexa saw the purple marks, and he pulled away from her saying he didn’t want her to touch him.

The doctor informed Lexa that her father has a terminal condition, called AIDS. His face grew thin as well as his body, and he was wasting away from this strange disease. Clarke’s mother stayed with her as they tried to explain his illness, while the medical staff tended to the machines that surrounded her dad keeping him comfortable.

Her father’s face held the look of agony, and Lexa hardly recognizes him anymore. It had only been a few weeks, and he completely changed from a strong, handsome man to half his weight with an emaciated appearance and sunken eyes. Her father quietly slipped into a coma and had been like that for almost two days. Lexa held his hand and felt no strength left in them and knew in her heart that he would never be the same and set his hand down and walked out of the room and into Maggie’s arms.

Her father came out to her last summer after she got back from camp. Telling her, he had met a person on his trip and opened up to her about this possible relationship and to explain what happened when he divorced her mother; what transpired between them cause him great pain, because Lexa hadn’t grown up with her mother.

Lexa’s heart broke listening to his grief he expressed for hurting her mom. Her dad was still young and had desires that even if he didn't show them, it was always under the surface. Lexa wanted to tell him about her feelings for Clarke, but it wasn’t the right time, and she honestly wanted to keep it between them for now. In the fall he started to get sick, and for days Lexa had tended to him until it became apparent that it was more serious than just a bad cold.

Clarke shook hearing her explain everything and her fear was everything between them was going change. Clarke pushed her own grief aside and pulled back from Lexa and stroked her cheek with her thumbs wiping her tears.

“Hey, you’re probably not hungry, but you need to eat. Let me get you something. How about I fixed you a grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup, how does that sound?”

Lexa sniffed and wiped at her face. “Just soup, I don’t want you to go out of your way for me," She said through her tears.

“Hey, listen, Lexa. It’s no trouble at all. It doesn’t take any time to make the sandwich.”

"Okay, thanks."

Clarke glanced back at Lexa as she left, and she appeared tiny laying on her bed gazing at the picture of her dad on her nightstand. It was a photo of the four of them taken a few years back at Disney World. They were both wearing a pair of Mickey Mouse ears. Adam and her mom were holding them from behind, as they smiled from ear to ear.

Clarke brought the meal back to her room and set it on her desk, finding Lexa curled into to a ball on the bed, and her whole body was shaking.

“Hey hey.” Clarke rubbed her back, and Lexa rolled over and looked up at her.

“What will happen to me, Clarke? I can’t lose him.” Clarke hesitated. Her heart was racing. She feared things were moving too fast and she didn't have any answers and jumped when she heard a knock at the front door, keeping her from responding.

Clarke padded Lexa’s leg. “I’ll be right back.”

"I'll go with you."

Maggie stepped inside with a man and introduced him, “Lexa this Adam’s lawyer, Mr. Spencer.”

"Please come in, Mr. Spencer. Lexa reached down inside of her to find the strength to move and escorted them into the living room.

"I'm sorry to trouble you at this time, but your father requested me to explain what happens next, and I’ve asked Mrs. Griffin to attend this meeting and to help you transition in the next few weeks.” His formality was grating her nerves as he continued. “First, I wanted to say how sorry I am to hear about your father. I’ve been Mr. Woods attorney for the past five years, and I help him set up a life insurance policy. He wanted to take care of you in a case of an emergency, and I need to prepare you for the next few weeks.”

Clarke could feel Lexa trembling next to her and put her arm around her shoulders and held her hand.

“Your father asks Mrs. Griffin to be the executor of his will, and in doing so, we also set up a plan in place so that his life insurance will go into a trust account for you, but you won’t have direct access until your eighteen birthday. It’s a sizable amount and will help you get into college and make you financially stable. Your father wanted to ensure if anything happened to him, the trust fund will see to your needs.” He paused and looked down at this papers and continued. “Your father indicated that you haven’t been in contact with your mother for some time, and under these circumstances, we had to inform her of his condition. According to my notes, we notified her of the changes late last year and in compliance to the laws of Texas through the divorce proceedings your legal custody transfers back to her, in the event of his death. Your status as a minor will mean your legal residence and responsibility will be transferred back to your biological mother until you reach the legal age of eighteen.”

Lexa blinked her eyes trying to comprehend the meaning behind the lawyer's words. What he was saying was her whole world would change in a matter of weeks. Not only would Lexa be losing her father, but her home. Lexa couldn’t take it anymore and pulled away from Clarke and ran to the bathroom. As Lexa reached the bathroom, she threw up in the toilet. Clarke helped her hold her hair back, and she continued to expel what little she had in her stomach.  
  
Clarke ran a washcloth under the hot water and sat Lexa up to wipe her face and mouth.

“I’m sorry Clarke.”

“Shh.” Clarke held on to her, and Lexa’s tears continue to fall. Listening to Lexa cry hurt her so deeply that she began to cry with her. Those words she had said to Lexa last summer were coming to haunt them.

 _They would have to wait and hope that life would be fair to them._ It looked like life had other plans.

Clarke got angry with the lawyer and what said to Lexa. It was too much for her to hear. Her dad was still alive. Clarke also needed to find out from her mother if what he said was true. She couldn't understand how her mother could be an executor but not Lexa's guardian. The news that Lexa could be leaving caused a shudder to go through her but the sorrow that Lexa feeling was tearing her apart. They held each other until Maggie knocked softly on the door.

“I asked Mr. Spencer to leave, and Clarke, I need you to help Lexa pack a bag. Lexa, you're going to stay with us.”

"Yes, ma'am," Clarke said and rubbed Lexa’s back, and helped her stand up and guided her back to her room. Lexa sat on the bed and watched Clarke go through her closet and dresser drawers and picked out things she thought she might need. Just as Clarke was about the close the suitcase, then reached over and put the picture Lexa been staring at earlier inside the suitcase.

It brought fresh tears to Lexa when she saw what Clarke had done. Her head and body were aching, and her legs felt weak, and all she just wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

They were silent on the ride back to their home, and when they pulled into the driveway, Lexa bravely grabbed her suitcase and walked with her head down towards their house. Maggie stepped over to Clarke when she got out of the car and pulled her into a hug, and she fell her mother's arm and cried.

“Go be her, Clarke. I need to go to the store to pick something for dinner. Make sure she drinks plenty of water and takes something for her headache. We can’t let her get sick. Try to be strong for her Clarke. We’re her family now.”

Clarke wiped the tears from her eyes. "I'll try my best, Mom."

Maggie sat in her car and watched her daughter go inside and finally let her emotions release and bent her head over the steering wheel and started to cry. For Lexa’s sake and now in losing a good friend, a confidant who had helped each over the many years they had known each other. She loved Adam as a friend, and this loss hit hard because his daughter would lose her father.

~

Clarke followed Lexa into her bedroom and set her suitcase on the floor. Lexa didn’t say anything. She just sat on the edge of her bed in shock. Clarke left to retrieve the water and aspirin for her. Setting in her hand and waiting until she took the pills, she laid down on her bed, and Clarke covered her in a warm blanket. “Mom’s going to get dinner, and I’m going to set the table, I’ll be right here if you need anything.”

Lexa nodded her head pulled the blanket up towards her face and laid there for a few minutes before she heard Jimi pad in the room and jumped on the bed and sit beside her and start to purr

Her head was throbbing for crying, and her thoughts were a jumble, but what scared her the most was how her life changed so suddenly? Lexa tried not to think of herself and having to move away, but to her dad laying in a hospital in a coma. Then there was school she was supposed to start in the fall. But, more than anything she feared, would be leaving Clarke.

Clarke returned and laid down beside her, and after a quiet moment between them, she whispered, “Life isn’t fair Lexa. I wish that it wasn’t true, but it is.” Clarke thoughts went to her dad and when they heard he had died. Even at six as her mother and father's parents gathered at their home, and everyone was crying she understood what happened, and it made her scared. Clarke clung to her mother for days afraid she would leave, and she slept with her every night. She hoped it wouldn’t be like that for Lexa, but what would happen to her when she moved to Texas? Lexa would be all alone.

Clarke couldn't hold back her tears thinking of Lexa leaving, and they curled up together under the blankets. It was Lexa now stroking her back giving her comfort. Clarke looked at her through her tears and gripped her tighter. Hoping that this was just a nightmare, and they would both wake up it would be over.

~

Clarke heard the phone ringing and her mother getting up to answer. After a few minutes she saw the hallway light go on and a quiet knock on her door. She slipped quietly in and touched Clarke's shoulder to wake her up.

“I’m awake mom.” Lexa hadn’t stirred as she slept next to her.

“It’s time honey.”

Clarke turned over and glanced over at Lexa. The light from the hallway was shining on her face and could see faint movements of her hair when she breathed. Clarke knew Lexa to be a deep sleeper and touched her lightly on her arm to wake her.

“Lexa.”

Lexa moaned and turned over and pushed her face into the pillow to block the light. Clarke didn't have the heart to continue to prod her and sat up and covered her face with her hands. She had barely slept all night. They talked most of the evening. Hearing her worries and contemplating her future. Eventually, Lexa had fallen asleep, and Clarke held her throughout the night.

Her mother called out to Clarke again, and she rolled out of bed and turned on the bedroom light and started to change into her street clothes. She was achy and sick to her stomach and wanted to crawl back into bed but tried waking her again, "Lexa."

Movement from the covers and Lexa finally turned on her back and watched her get dressed and then at the clock. It was after 3 am. Lexa sat up and realized what was happening, and without a word, she got out of bed and started to dress then walked over the dresser pulled her hair back into a loose braid as she stared at herself in the mirror expressionless. Clarke watched her, and she never made a sound. Lexa left the room, and Clarke followed her to the living room where her mother was sitting, and they quietly made their way to her car and left for the hospital.

~

Lexa felt numb, and her movements were ridge and controlled she could offer no words or response. Going where they directed her and following them down the long hospital hallways and into his room.

Her dad was still alive, but just barely. His breathing became labored, and the monitor beeped out the readings showing his last heartbeats.

Clarke and her mother waited at the foot of his bed while Lexa leaned over to move the hair out of her father's eyes, and they fluttered open and blinked trying to see her she hoped. Through his oxygen mask, she saw a faint smile as he breathed out making the mask fog. Lexa held his hand, and she felt him squeeze it gently. “I love you, Daddy.” His eyes blinked once, and then he closed them, and the monitor fell silent, and he was gone.

Lexa turned all her pain inward, and as a piece of soul died with him and put her head down against her father's chest and shook with sobs. Maggie and Clarke put their arms around her trying to protect her from her grief and stayed until it was time to prepare his body to transport.

~

It was a few weeks after her dad's funeral, and Lexa and Clarke finished their freshmen year, and her time together was running out, and soon she would be leaving for Houston.

Lexa talked to her mother a few times, and their conversation didn’t last long, and she couldn’t detect any warmth from her at all. Even her voice wasn’t anything like Lexa had remembered. The few times she called, a man answered but didn’t inquire about her, he just rudely yelled for her mother to answer the damn phone. Her mother never mentioned him in the call, and Lexa just assumed he was her boyfriend. It didn’t feel right, none of this did. Leaving the people, she loved and the only home that she had ever known.

Lexa wasn't ready to leave Clarke, it felt like some cosmic joke. Punishment for some unknown sin she committed. Her dreams woke her up at night, and Clarke rubbed her back to wipe away the nightmares. The relationship they wanted to build on after camp last year had been simple gestures and love notes, and when her father got sick, they just resumed their close relationship as friends, and nothing more. They would have to wait now that she was leaving her. Clarke would be over thousand miles away. She wouldn’t be able to talk to her every day or see her, and this thought was bringing an ache in her heart that made her feel restless and afraid.

Clarke packed the remaining boxes, labeling and taping them closed. They had decided to keep the kitchen stuff for when Lexa came back home. Home. Home for Lexa now would be miles away from here. Clarke asked her mother why she couldn’t be Lexa's legal guardian, and she had explained that since Lexa had a living relative, it superseded Maggie's claim.

Lexa finally got the courage to enter her father's bedroom and started with his closet. Deciding that most of his clothing and furniture could go to groups that helped with the AIDS crisis in his name. His leather wrist watch she would keep along with of few of his favorite T-shirts. What surprised Lexa the most, was tucked into the back of the closet, his well-worn black leather bomber jacket. She pulled it off its hanger and immediately put in on, hoping to feel his arms around her. It was a fleeting moment, but the smell of the leather and worn edges somehow made a connection to him. Her way of being near his spirit and the love she felt for him.

When she looked around his room and their home, all their happy memories would be all that was left. Everything changed so fast that time became a blur. Days moved too quickly. Lexa tried to keep writing in her journal, wondering if she forgot anything and she probably had it, and it was hurting in a deep place. Lexa wanted to bring those fading memories to the surface.

It was when she was packing her room she found in a dusty old box the first diary her father gave her. The faded yellow covering and dog-eared pages. The key, still in the lock. It was one of many she filled out through the years. Her father in his wisdom made sure she would never forget their time together. Pictures they took over the years were wonderful, but without the details of what they had done together would feel flat. Her diary would paint the stories of their life together and was her most cherished possessions.

Maggie arrived with the U-haul and called out for the girls, and they met in the living room, and she motioned for them to sit down. “Lexa I been waiting to give this to you. It’s a letter that your dad wrote last year when he was getting ill and when the moment was right he wanted me to deliver it to you. I think that this time has come."

Lexa took that letter and opened it up carefully, spreading the paper flat and started, "My Dearest..." Lexa stopped when her voice cracked and handed the letter over to Maggie. “I…can’t, could you please read it for me?"

"Of course, sweetie." Maggie sat beside Lexa and began reading slowly.

_My Dearest Alexandra,_

_You are a precious gift to me that I have cherished since the moment I saw your beautiful face. I am so grateful for all the joy and love you gave to me. I never believed that I could be so lucky to have the beauty of your existence in my life. You are so bright and carry a light within you that takes my breath away._

_My darling, you made me be a better father, and I am so grateful to be that for you. I wish that I could be with you when you graduate school, when you fall in love, and when you grow into the woman that would make any father proud. Believe me when I tell you that I know leaving you now seems so unfair and that I am so sorry for bringing you this pain._

_The many things that I wish I could have changed that now seem so trivial, but what I want to tell you; if I can say to you that one thing that would carry you through the rest your life, never have regrets. Live the life that feels right to you. Share your love with the person that believes in you and above all else be true to who you are. Life is about learning and growing if we didn’t have the pain then joy would lose its meaning. Be brave, honey and always know that I love you with all my heart._

_Your father,_

_Adam Woods_

Maggie handed Lexa the letter back, and she reread to herself. Her tears made hard to see the writing, and she took in a deep breath and held it for a moment and then let it out slowly trying to compose herself. “Thank you, Maggie and Clarke, I wish I could tell you how much all of your help has meant to me.”

“Sweetie, you’ve been a delight to Clarke and me having you in our family. Even though you’re going to another state, we’re going to keep in contact. I have a couple of weeks of vacation coming, and I haven’t told this to Clarke yet, but we are taking you to Texas.” Maggie gazed at the two of them. “We’re going to have a mini-vacation. Clarke’s birthday is coming up, and I thought we could head first to Florida and check out some of the sights.”

Clarke was stunned and pulled her mother into a hug. Her mother reached behind Clarke and held Lexa’s hand and squeezed.

“Sweet babies, we’re going to get through this together.”

~

It was Lexa’s last night in Virginia, and the U-haul was attached to the back of Maggie’s vehicle, in it held her bedroom furniture and her clothes and books. Everything that belonged to her fit in that small container. Tomorrow they would be heading into the unknown. A new place and family.

Lexa walked outside in their backyard and looked up at the tree house. She saw Clarke leave quickly after dinner and hadn’t come down since. Lexa knew that Clarke was hurting as bad as she was. _Be brave._ Her father words came echoing back to her. Her world would change, and her life would be different than what they had planned. But, what she wanted most in the world, was up in a tree house hurting over the change coming.

Lexa climbed the ladder and stepped on the porch and walk through the door and inside Clarke sat at her desk drawing, and she didn’t want to disturb her, so she stood beside the window placing her hands behind her back and waited.

Lexa remembered the many of nights they spent in here. Sleeping under the stars and telling ghost stories until the made pack never to do that again and slipped back inside to sleep in Clarke's bed under the covers.

Lexa stared down at Clarke when she put her pencil down and close her sketchbook and stood up. Lexa turned to face her and Clarke closed the space between them and put her arms around her, and Lexa returned the embrace as they had done countless times before.

This time, was different. With the remaining quiet moments they had left, Lexa made a decision. She pulled back and gazed into Clarke's eyes and the tears that fell over her face, and all Lexa wanted to do is sooth her pain. Closing the space between them and with as much care and love she felt for her, she kissed Clarke on her lips for the first time. It wasn’t for friendship or a goodbye kiss. Lexa wanted to show the love she felt for her. Clarke kissed her back, and their relationship came into focus. Lexa wasn't prepared for the jolt of her lips against Clarke and adjusted her stance and lightly put one of her hands behind Clarke’s neck, and the other cupped her face gently just to hold her in place. Lexa grew bolder and parted her lips and kissed her deeper and pushed her tongue inside. Clarke moaned into her touch, and as they kissed and held each other; hoping to persevere the moment between them forever. When they finally pulled back, Lexa put her forehead against Clarke.

“I’ve wanted to do that since last year. I wish I didn’t wait.”

“I don’t think my legs can hold me up.” Clarke laughed. “Can I kiss you again?”

“Just for future reference Clarke, you never have to ask.” Her lips found Lexa’s again.

They stayed in the tree house long after the sun had set and it was Clarke’s mother who called up to them to please come down, telling them they have a long drive tomorrow. The didn't sleep but kissed each other in the remaining night in Clarke's bed.

_Orlando, Florida July 10, 1983_

It was Clarke’s sweet sixteen birthday, and they spend it near The Happiest Place on Earth. They rented a room near the park and filled the last two days wandering the new Epcot Center and been on most of the rides, but today everyone agreed that with the sun and humidity to stay the last day in Florida poolside.

Lexa and her mother went shopping, and Clarke protested that she didn’t need anything. Regardless they returned with wrapped presents and beautiful cake. They pushed Clarke out of the room as she mildly complained and she went to sit by the pool as they decorated their room. Clarke picked a chair under an umbrella and brought with the letter for Lexa she was working on since they left home.

Clarke didn’t have the skills to write like Lexa and started and stopped and tossed the unfinished thoughts in the trash. She couldn’t convey all the things she needed to tell her. She wanted to speak with her heart what she meant to her. How that her life was fuller and had more meaning because of her.

Clarke thought about their first kiss and of the thousands after their shared. Closing her eyes and reliving that moment again, painting a memory across her heart. It was Clarke's first kiss, and as far as she knew it was Lexa’s too. One thing that stuck in her mind was how well Lexa could kiss and how she had moved her lips across her’s mapping out its surface. In the quiet of their special place, they had committed to each other, an understanding of who they are, to each other, and how they fit together.

When Lexa tongue parted her lips and entering her mouth, it made her feel things that had never experience before, and it sent a jolt through her. It causes an involuntary shudder that made her eyes closed and moan against Lexa’s lips. It was the most intoxicating thing she had ever felt. Those kisses would have to last until they see each other again. Clarke sat with her eyes closed for a long time laying down the memory never wanting to forget the first time they kissed. Opening her eyes, Clarke pulled out another clean sheet of paper and started to write.

_Dear Lexa,_

_I may have never told you this, but I love your name, Alexandra. I looked it up in the dictionary to find its meaning and found out it meant; Defender of men. How fitting a name for you._

_Oh, boy does that ever sound sappy!!!_

_But you know me. Just the goofy tomboy who fell in love with her best friend. How could I not? It's not because of how beautiful you look; it is your grace and kindness when you laughed at my stupid jokes and let me be me. I fell in love with you because I like you. I like how you treat others, how you are not afraid to speak your mind and how you defended my honor last year and stood up for me. When you write me poems and help me understand things that only you and I share. A bond. A friendship. A love.  
_

_Know that I will wait for you until we meet again. That is my promise to you._

_Sincerely and with all my love,_

_Clarke_

Just as she was finishing her letter, she looked up and saw her mother and Lexa in new bathing suits and they joined her at the table.

“You ready for some fun?”

Her mother purchased a new swimsuit for her, and she went back to their room and slipped into this sweet two-piece blue and white striped bikini. Lexa's was white and had little dancing flowers covering hers. 

Maggie took pictures of the girls playing in the pool and throughout their vacation hoping to make lasting memories to help them with the impending separation.

They spent most of the afternoon playing in the water and the sun, and by 3 o’clock the clouds started to creep in, and the skies were showing a possibility of rain. By the time the reached their room, the clouds opened up and with a flash of lightening the rain began to pour.

“I’m going to jump in the shower girls. See what’s on the tube and will order dinner when I get out.”

Now that they were alone, Lexa turned around to face Clarke, and she had tears in the corner of her eyes. "I wish I didn't have to leave you, Clarke.” Lexa gazed into her eyes and moved to hug her. Clarke’s arms came up to circle her and move to touch each other along the length of their bare skin where the suits didn’t cover them. Lexa could feel the warmth of Clarke’s belly and her breast touching hers, and Lexa felt a strange tug at her center. This sensation made her eyes go dark, and when she pulled back, their lips met. It was a long lingering kiss that spoke of a need they both wanted. They kissed each other deeply, and when they couldn’t any further, Lexa was the first to pull back and tell her that one thing that would join their souls.

“I’m in love with you Clarke. I always have been. Since the moment I saw you.”

Clarke pulled her into a hug in a way that spoke of the same feeling she had for her. She whispered back to her, “I’m in love with you too.”

They couldn’t stand there holding each other for long because her mother would soon be coming out of the bathroom. Lexa kissed her again, and when she pulled back, tears were streaming down her face. Unable to hold back the tide of sadness she was feeling.

“Look at me, I’m a mess and on your birthday.”

“Lexa, we will get through this, I’ll write you and send you pictures. I want to stay connected to you. I want you to feel like I’m with you.” Clarke held her hand for a few moments more and then separated when her mom step out of the bathroom.

Lexa covered her grief by grabbing her stuff and left the room, shutting the bathroom door behind her.

Maggie could see her daughter had been crying again and pulled her into arms. “It’ll be okay.”

“I’m just going to miss her so much mom.”

“I know. I will too, but can we put that aside for now and enjoy your birthday? Will see her again. I promise. Maybe during the holidays, she could visit.

Clarke gave her mother a tight smile. "I hope so, Mom."

~

Lexa stepped out of the bathroom, freshly wash and her hair put back, in a braid, and she had composed herself, and Maggie noticed how they look at each other. She didn’t say anything, but it was something she had suspected all along, she loved them both and didn’t let on she knew.

That evening after dinner and after her presents opened, Clarke sat at the table with Lexa with the lights off waiting for Maggie. Soon she walked from the bathroom with a cake and sixteen candles lit up and dancing light filled the room.

They both started to sing, and when she put the cake in front of her, Maggie said, “Make a wish sweetie.”

Clarke took in a breath closed her eyes and made a wish, she opened her eyes and crossed her fingers and blew out the candles.

~

The trip to Houston would take them through New Orleans, and it was the perfect place to stay the night. They took in all the sites and spent some time on Bourbon Street. Their time together was running out, and Maggie filled these last few days with as many places and memories to help fill what the void for the girls.

That evening after they returned to the rooms, Maggie sat them down. She had prepared in her head and heart what she needed to say to them about, _The Talk._

It was more about their relationship, and she wanted them to understand that she knows they have feelings for each other, and she wishes to support them. They both sat on their bed cross-legged, and Maggie sat at the table with her hand’s clasp together.

“First, Lexa I wanted to tell you how much you meant to me that you bring joy to my daughter’s life. She didn’t have many friends growing up, and when we moved to Virginia my hope for, her this time, it would be different. Little did I know she would meet that special person that would change her life.”

She paused then spoke to Clarke. “You are my baby girl, and I live and breathe for your happiness. You have grown into a lovely girl, and I am so proud of you. All I wish for you is to have happiness, and I hope you have that with Lexa.”

Both girls looked confused, but her words were resonating an understanding of what she was trying to say.

“If I’m not clear, I know that you are in a relationship, you care deeply for each other and may even love each other like I loved your father, Clarke.”

“How did you know mom?”

“I see it written all over your faces. You both light up wherever you’re together. A person would have to be blind not to see it. Because you’re both young and this may be a hard lesson to learn but the world isn’t always going to except you, and as someone that cares so deeply for both of you I want you to stay safe. Lexa, I don’t know much about your mother, but I did talk quite a bit to your dad and what happened to him and your mom. I guess for her finding out that her daughter may be gay, well let’s just say she would take it hard. What I’m trying to tell you can’t always trust some people, even family, and they can hurt you and say horrible things to you and who you are. Be careful of what you want to share and know that I want you both to be happy and safe and that I love both of you so much.”

_July 15, 1983, Houston, Texas_

The streets were different. That was the first thing Lexa noticed as they drove through the outer city blocks and into the smaller communities that surrounded the big city. It smelled different too. It didn’t feel like home. It was hot and humid not unlike where they lived in Virginia somehow the humidity didn’t seem as bad and the nights always cool off. This place had a heavy hot dampness to it like you didn’t want to take in too deep of a breath of air for fear it would burn your insides. Was it that, or could it because this was her home for at least the next three years? She was sweating, and soon she would be meeting a person, her mother that she hadn’t seen for years.

Clarke was silent even with her mother pointing out the sites. Lexa would interject a word or two, but it was just to keep herself calm and not react to the panic that was about to charge out of her. Again her father’s words came to her. _Be brave._ In her heart, she promised him she would try _._

Lexa held Clarke’s hand since they passed the state line and would gently squeeze it trying to impart everything she felt. Clarke would squeeze her hand back a silent message of those unspoken words that spoke volumes into their palms.

They rounded the last corner and there sat her new home for the next few years. It was pink. “Oh no.” Lexa squeaked and began to laugh, and Clarke looked at her and then at the house and back at her again, and they both fell over each into helpless giggles, and Maggie couldn’t help but join them.


	6. Chapter 6

Clarke stops dead in her tracks next to a small stream when she hears the distinct sound of a large cat off to her right. Its deep vicious guttural growl, rolling to a gigantic roar then changed into a bloodcurdling scream. Hearing only its cries and not seeing the animal she reckon it must be stalking another prey. She remained still and pulled out her knife and gun and what followed was more sounds of hissing, screaming and an ear-piercing yelp sending a jolt of adrenaline through her body. Then barking frantic growling and rustling, followed by frenzied ripping, and then a final rush air.

Next an eerie silence.

Clarke moved slowly towards the last noise in the woods and found herself standing in a small green clearing with the big black cat bleeding out of a massive tear in its neck. Off to his left side was the animal that vanquished him. A wounded and dying wolf with a bloody snout. The wolf tried to get up but laid back down when it saw her, it too suffering for a mortal wounded. Clarke could tell that it wasn’t a threat anymore but stopped moving when she sensed a slight shift from underneath a bush and then sees a set of bright blue eyes gazing at her. Clarke raises her weapon not sure if the fight was over, but to her surprise, a small black wolf cub, a foot tall appears where it must have hidden when its mother fought the cat.

The mother wolf's eyes followed her movements and starting panting hard with every breath. The moment Clarke saw the wounded wolf her mission was clear to help it pass quickly and take it out of its suffering and steps slowly and kneels beside her making the wolf cry out with a yelp and tries to shift away from her.

"Shh, It's okay." Clarke carefully lays her hand on the wolf's side to calm her down, and she remains still but keeps her eyes on Clarke and her pup. "I'm sorry you got hurt. I know you can't understand me, but please know that I want to help you." Clarke braces her other hand over the animal side lightly running her fingers through its fur and wolf calms down and stops trying to squirm away. Clarke avoids her deep wounds and slowly moves the blade against her neck and with a simple motion she pushes it into her throat, releasing this animal from its pain.

Clarke wasn't prepared for the onslaught of emotion as this one action breaks another piece of her heart away. One more thing that pushes her over the edge, and she couldn't stop her head from tipping up to the sky and cries out in grief. No ears could hear her. No mother, father or friend to soothe her pain. She bares it all alone, again and bends over dead wolf unable to stop her tears from filling her eyes and spilling on her cheeks.

Despair and grief filled her soul of this animal's death. It now added to her long list she kept in her heart.

Clarke stares down at the blood covering her hands. Death meet out by her hand again. It always had been this way since they stepped foot on Earth. With Atom, Finn and mountain men. Always, always death surrounding her. Her soul felt drench in blood.

Some warriors would wipe the blood of their enemies over their bodies, for Clarke she wore it like sin.

Clarke shuts her eyes wishing she could change the past. A fruitless waste of time she knows but stays quiet until a small whimper, and a lick to her fingers causes her turn her head and through her tears sees the cub nudging at her until her hand was resting on top its head, and gazes at her with questioning eyes. Another lick to her hand and Clarke reaches over and pulls the cub into her chest. The first contact of a living thing in weeks.  
  
After a few quiet moments rocking the little cub, her mind comes back to focus on to keep moving. But before she leaves she contemplates cutting up the cat; it was a big job had seen it done before but hadn't tried herself, she had really no choice. Leaving fresh meat when she was starving most of her journey was out of the question.  
   
Sitting on a stump nearby Clarke pulls out the large knife she found at the dropship and to starts to sharpen its blade. The rhythmic motion she finds soothing; now understanding why Octavia does it so much. A happier memory of Octavia flashes through her mind and thought of setting their feet on Earth. Not so long ago, they all felt the sun on their faces and the ground beneath their feet for the first time and everything was so bright and promising.

Clarke takes in a breath and rolls up her sleeves and begins the bloody task of skinning the cat. None of her Earth skills class prepared her for this job. It was learning a process of plunging her knife into its throat and guiding it along the stomach to its groin. Then sliding it under the hide moving it back and forth until she makes it to the top of cat's back and pulls the skin up and away and exposes the meat and guts. The odor coming from it makes her gag, and Clarke leans back and takes in a clean breath of air. It was only after coming to Earth she smelled death for the first time. It became a familiar stench she hated but needed to continue.

After removing the rest of the hide from the legs, she discovers the best part of the cat along its legs and begins to strip out portions of the meat while keeping the thigh bone intact. A couple of hours pass of pulling, cutting and scraping and she now has a pile of meat that will sustain her for at least part of her journey.

Occasionally she hears a whine from her new friend and tosses a scrap of meat to the eager cub. After she cleaned most of the meat off the hide, she cuts out a large section of skin then wraps around meat making it into a bundle and tying it closed with one of her straps, and leaves the rest to the forest dwellers.

Clarke groans when she stands and stretches her back. She's a mess, covered in blood and guts and needs to get clean before she starts attracting unwanted attraction.

There was meat on the mother's body, but it wasn't a question to leave the wolf as is, knowing this is the circle of life. You live, die and then forest swallows you.  
   
The cub grew attached to Clarke and followed her around as she packed her gear, but when she started back to the stream, the cub stayed by its mother's side. Clarke looked at the water then over the pup and made a decision, if the cub comes when she calls, she can stay with her and with one look back she commands in a clear voice, “Come.”

Clarke is amazed at what she witnesses next. The small cub walks over to her mother and licks gently at her snout, then trots over to Clarke's side, seeming chosen to go with her.

It was unexpected, but Clarke was delighted. An accidental companion. Something to look after and to take her mind off of herself for a change.

There was plenty of daylight left when Clarke made her way back to the stream and continued to follow it until she discovers another clearing. This spot was ideal to set up camp, and Clarke wandered around the area finding a patch of berries growing and plenty of cover overhead from the canopy of trees. Not much further down the stream, she sees a waterfall flowing into a pond and carrying the water down into the forest.

"What do you say?" Clarke looks down at the cub waiting for an answer, but the wolf just sneezes. "I'll take that as a yes. Let's stay here."

After setting up camp and making a fire, she filled her canteens and placed them next to the fire and sets up a spit for drying the meat. Clarke finished the job of slicing the meat into long strips and hung them over the branch close to the fire.

Now with this task completed, Clarke looked down at her clothes and hands. She could smell the sweat and grime, and her nose wrinkled feeling the long days and nights she had spent in the same clothes and adding the blood from the cat, she was a mess. Clarke takes the gun and knife and heads towards the pond nearby. After stripping down to bare ass, she dunks her underclothes, shirt, and pants into the water and starts scrubbing them clean as she was could. The job wasn’t easy, and she had soap, but it was only a small bar, and she wanted to use the remaining bit on her body. Clarke rinses everything out a couple of times and wrings them out. They didn't stink anymore, but stains remained. They were as clean as they were going to get, for now, and she hung them on a low hanging tree branch to dry in the warm air and sun.  
   
Her body, well that was another thing. After skinning the cat, the odor still hung in her nose, and she reeked of death, and it’s was making her queasy.  
   
Clarke wades into to the middle of the clear cold pond and completely submerges herself, staying there for a silent moment, floating to the bottom. The water drowns out of the sounds of the forest and with a gentle push from the bottom she rises out of the water chin first, her hair hanging behind her like a wet blonde curtain.  
   
Clarke rolls over on her back and gazes up at the surrounding forest to examine the walls of this beautiful pond. They are rocky and covered with long vines and moss. Her eyes find patterns in one tree thick with bark, and another tree had a swarm of bees humming around a hole. It had a calming effect on her and wished her life was as uncomplicated.

Clarke paddles to the waterfall and steps under the pouring water. The constant sound created a pocket of peace where she could clean her body. Wash away her burdens and drowning out all of her thoughts.

Clarke washes her hair first. The soap was a gift from her mother. She found tucked at the bottom of her kit one day and would bring it out to remind her of home. What she left behind. It only carried a light smell from home and began to wash the rest of the grime out her hair, and off of her body. The rush of water falling over her blocked out the sounds of the forest along with her thoughts.

The pounding cold water was refreshing over her body as scrubs her body clean of the stains of the blood from her hands and has one task left. She had yet to touch her sex. Afraid if she touches herself, she would feel nothing. Clarke closes her eyes and softly runs her fingers through her folds, and a memory came rushing back to a kiss and her soft lips. Clarke groans and she stops as shame washes over her face.

No, she can’t do this. Not now, not here, she can’t be thinking about her, not after everything that happened between them. Clarke stops herself and pulls her hand away. It did feel good, maybe too good, but she didn’t want to start something in the water where she was exposed but does put her hand back this time with the serious attention of just cleaning herself, finishing with the rest of her body.

Clarke laid back in the water and let waterfall propel her back to the center of the pond into the sunlight surrounded by life. It was a perfect place to rest her mind and body until her thoughts went back to her guilt.

Why did she not faced this demon that followed her on her journey? Why did she leave her mom and friends? She feared they would reject her. Dislike her for her weakness. Maybe it would be best to lie down and just let the forest swallow her up like every other living thing.

Clarke shutters and stands up and shakes her head of the negative thoughts. Her mind drifted into the darkness again, and she had been doing for days. All the self-doubt and hate was getting to her, and she was getting frustrated with herself. Yes, she made mistakes, and she had trusted maybe too much. It couldn’t have been all her fault of every single thing that happened. No, she was born into a chaotic world in space struggling every step of the way. Then coming down to Earth, fighting with two different factions. Forming an alliance and taking out a dangerous group of people and she still held on to that guilt. Clarke wanted to lift the weight off of her shoulders but didn't know how.

Carefully searching in her heart; she needs a solution to live with herself and move on in her life somehow.

The water was doing more than just cleaning her body it was making her feel better about herself, and her thoughts were becoming clear more than she had felt in weeks. Turning over to look around again, she was beginning to feel like herself, the old Clarke.  
   
The cub stood on an outcropping dancing on her paws, one then the other, when Clarke finally looked over at her it looked like she wanted to join her but was unsure of the water.

Clarke calls out, "Come." The cub lifts her head, and with determination she leaps into the water and sinks under, letting out a startled yelp when she surfaces, but her instinct takes over, and paddles over to Clarke.  
   
"Good girl." Clarke laughs and brings her up to her chest and places her hands under the cub’s legs and spins her around in the water. She had never felt this free; it feels strange to feel happy after so many days. Maybe it was time to let it go.

Clarke turns the cub over and cradles her in her arms like a baby, and noticed an unusual white spot on her chest. “What have you got here?” She quizzes the cub. “A white star…Star,” Clarke repeats. “I like it what do you say, huh?” The cub licks her nose. “Star it is." The wolf wiggles out of her grasp and starts swimming circles around her.

It began as a game; Clarke swam from one side to the other as the cub followed. Joyful laughter filled this space until the water could get it her no cleaner and Clarke heads towards the beach with cub following behind her.  
   
Star shook her body when got to the beach, tumbling into the sand and took off running side to side. Clarke chuckles at her antics. With the sun shining she would be dry in seconds and pulls on her boots and undergarments back on starts towards camp as she does she begins to ring her hair out fixed into a loose braid.

The water helped her feel normal again and thought that she might sleep better tonight than she had in days. A clean body, full belly and warm friend to snuggle with after everything that happened today, she felt she was in a good frame of mind for a change. She welcomed the feeling and wanted to nurture it for as long as it would last.  
   
Late afternoon after dressing, and eating her fill with the meat, nuts, and long drink of water she stoked the fire, and she wrapped the remaining dried meat in one of the blankets and threw one of the straps over a high branch and pulled it high into a tree.

Clarke made a small bed with dried leaves and pine needles and crawled into the small shelter she made with the remaining blanket. Star soon joins her, and tucks the cub to her side and begins telling her stories until she could no longer keep her eyes open and falls asleep.

_A loud roar and crashing of branches._

_“What is it?” Clarke whispered to Lexa."_

_"Pauna. RUN!”_  
  
_Lexa was in front clearing the branches in their path with her sword as Clarke tried to keep up. Around a large tree, Lexa puts her hand up and motions her to take the way to the right, following it along and ducking underneath an old broken wall. They waited in silence hoping that the pauna had lost them. Clarke turns to look at Lexa, and she motions to move when a large black paw reach from above and snatches Lexa away. Clarke screams and tries to hold on to Lexa's legs to keep the beast from taking her away from her, but her hands can’t grip them, and they begin to fall apart turning into black dust. Clarke cries out, and the ground vanished beneath her, and she’s falling backward through a hole that opens from below her and is falling into oblivion still reaching for Lexa and only seeing the top of the open tunnel moving farther away from her._  
   
Clarke screamed and thrashed around in her sleep. Still halfway between a dream and being awake, she senses a heavy weight on her chest, and it was getting harder to breathe. Her mind drifts as her body calms down and a few breaths and then feels a very wet tongue inside her left nostril.  
   
“Ack!”  
   
Opening one eye she spots the weight. A curious cub, poking her with her nose and laying on top of her. Clarke rolls over dropping Star at her side, mentally exhausted. It’s like she hasn’t slept at all and the world is coming down around her again, and tears start to form in her eyes, and she can’t keep them falling.  
   
Her first thoughts were of her, of Lexa. A name she hasn’t uttered in days. The person she tried not to think of and has now penetrated into her dreams. Clarke has lost her again. This overwhelming grief shakes her to her core.

The pauna took Lexa away to a horrible unknown that rocked Clarke into a state of fear that lurking in the bush was a large animal that could rip her apart. She knows it’s a dream but laying in the dark, her mind still full of doubt.

Clarke decides for tomorrow she wasn’t going anywhere. She fears what lurks the further she travels from her home. She had been walking for days and not getting anywhere, running away from everything she knows, and the weight of her guilt starts to turn her world dark again, and it takes with it all forms of color and meaning.

~

Indra and Octavia were in the next valley over when they smelled the fire and meat cooking. Indra tsk at her stupidity and murmured under breath “Sky Girl is going to attract scavengers.”

Hours later it was Indra who first to spot the black pauna with its growl and then saw it's silverback. It had stopped nearby raising its head up smelling the air. They laid hidden behind a fallen log covered with heavy moss and leaves. Indra motioned to Octavia that they must get its attention away from Clarke’s camp, the pauna is south of their position and moving towards her.

Indra's only thoughts were of Heda and protecting her... She lets the thought fade. Indra needs to feed the fire, to summons up her courage and starts to sense her blood on fire. A tingling sensation forms in her hands at touching her sword and of an urge to run her blade into this beast to its hilt.  
   
That was her intention, but they soon found that the pauna had noticed them, and started galloping over to Indra’s location. She turned and screamed to Octavia to hide anywhere. Octavia looked around and quickly spots a tree whose trunk was leaning at an angle where she could quickly climb.

Indra starts to scramble away in front of her, ducking and turning to see somewhere, any place to hide.  
   
Octavia was watching Indra run and followed her into the trees above, jumping from branch to branch. When she sees the pauna close in on Indra, she gets as high as the pauna shoulders, and reaches up and drops to an overhanging branch above its head. Grabbing it, Octavia swings over and leaps, letting out a fierce yell deep from within her. Coming swinging down on it’s his back clutching his head with one hand and driving the knife with the other hand to the hilt into the temple of the great ape. The blow sends it rolling over with Octavia flipping out and away before the pauna hits the dirt and she lands on her feet, and down to one bent knee and fist, she finds herself bowing in front of Indra. Octavia head comes up and smiles a wide toothy grin. She stands up calmly and brushes herself off.

Octavia walks around the pauna a few times letting the adrenaline subside before putting her boot on his head and pulling out her knife in one swift motion. Looking at the blood dripping off it, and she bends over to wipes it across its fur. Indra watches in shock, and her legs can’t hold any longer, and she falls to her knees and then onto her butt.  
   
Lexa comes charging up on her horse with sword drawn and quickly dismounts. Looking first to Octavia who has a sheepish grin and over to the dead pauna then finally at Indra, the blood seemly drained from her face.

Lexa reaches down and pulls Indra off the ground and states, "You taught Octavia well, my friend."

Indra looks to Lexa and bows and then to Octavia. "Heda, it was Octavia courage. That, cannot be taught."


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings. Verbal and physical abuse of a parent by a significant other. Homophobia. Happy ending.

_October 28, 1983, 8:30p Houston, Texas_

Lexa crossed off another day on her calendar that hung on her wall in her bedroom. It was one hundred and five days when she last saw Clarke. 

~

It seemed like so long ago when they met her mother at the door the first day they arrived. Lexa was surprised when she hugged her and saw tears in her eyes, and it began melting the cold block of ice she had around her heart at leaving her home in Virginia. Her mother was genuinely excited to have her home, after all the years apart.

Clarke and Lexa were in her newly painted pale yellow bedroom and set up her bed and unpacked the boxes that held her clothes and books and arranged them in their proper place. They had done this in silence. One opening boxes, the other making the bed or hanging clothes. Lexa wanted to stretch this out as long as she could, but she didn’t have a lot of possession, and they finished under two hours. Their time together was running out, and nothing is going to stop the inevitable.

Clarke broke down the empty boxes after they finished and put them in a pile as Lexa placed the last book on the shelf and turned to watch her. To memorize everything about Clarke she was going to miss. Clarke's shoulder carried what looked like the weight of the world, and an overwhelming feeling needed to show Clarke how much she loved her. Lexa placed her hand on her back.

"I'm sorry Clarke."

It surprised Lexa when she chuckled and stood up and fell into her arms. "I don't know why I am laughing. It just hit me that you always think of others and not yourself." Clarke laugh turned to tears. Lexa hoped to imprint the feel of Clarke's body against her. Not knowing when she would see her again.

Finally, Clarke spat out a number, “Over twelve hundred days till you're back home, Lexa.” Lexa held Clarke tighter. The amount was staggering to her. Lexa wasn’t thinking of this time away from her in days, and now it weighed heavier on her. The day she would turn eighteen. “I’m sorry, that was uncalled for,” Clarke whispered. “It's just you're going to be far away, and as you can tell, I'm not dealing with this very well. I shouldn't make this harder for you."

“I don’t know what I’m going to do without you. I’ll write you as often as I can, you know that right?” Lexa said.

“I know, I will too.” Clarke reached into her back pocket and pulled out a wrinkled folded up letter. “Open this when I’m gone, okay?”

Lexa took the letter from Clarke and put it to her chest. “I promise.”

~

Lexa was two days shy of her fifteen birthday, and her mother hadn’t mentioned anything to her about it, and she wasn't going to bring it up. Lexa received a large package from Clarke and Maggie; her mother just left it on the kitchen table to find when she got home from school and never asked what was in it, like her other boxes from home.

Their relationship was strained, and it started the first night. Her mother was a strange nervous woman and didn’t resemble her at all. Her mother’s hair was only a little lighter and her face held in it a strain of too many anxious thoughts. When she did smile, she would catch herself and turn away, too shy that it had revealed a secret she wasn’t supposed to tell.

Lexa remembered the first night and how it all started that evening. They shared a dinner fish sticks and mac and cheese out of a box. Lexa asked to help and looked for fresh vegetables and ending up finding a can of cream corn tucked behind new boxes of overly sweet cereal.

Now she laid in bed wide awake with her stomach still bloated by the carb filled meal. Lexa checked the clock for the eleventy billion time, and it mocked her at how slow the time was moving.

It was when she had almost fallen asleep, her body jerked awake by a loud crash at the front door and then followed by a man screaming at her mother. Lexa sat up in her bed her heart racing and heard more noise coming from the living room and grabbed her robe and peaked out to see him for the first time.

The man stood over her mother pushed back against the sofa and didn't take her eyes off of him. He apparently had been drinking, and Lexa finally heard that he was hungry and wanted her mother to make him something to eat. Lexa rechecked the clock, and it was just after 3 o’clock, then back to her mother.

Lexa was surprised at how timid her mother looked next to this man and could tell he couldn't be taller than Lexa herself. But, when saw him raise his hand towards her mother Lexa bolted from her room and caught his arm before he could strike and pulled it back sent him reeling over the chair.

Her mother immediately got up and went to his side and motioned for her to go back to bed. He hadn’t seen who had stopped him from hitting her and mother acted like she didn’t want her help and she went back to her room.

Lexa was livid sitting on her bed with her arms crossed for the next few hours. Hearing her mother fuss over some asshole and listening to him complain about everything she did. Lexa had never experienced this kind of behavior from anyone. It wasn’t like she was a novice to the brutality of human beings. She just never witnesses it in person before.

“Great first night at home.” Lexa didn’t know it at the time, but sleep wasn't going to come to her as easy in this new place.

~

Living in a home of anger and fear changed how she saw life, and Lexa quickly picked up why her mother was shy and introverted. The man was her mother’s sometime boyfriend, Arthur who went by the nickname, Artie. He had red hair and a nasty mustache and as short as he was it amazed her at how much room his presence would fill it. Artie didn’t have a kind bone in his body, and everything pissed him off, hell he could get angry at sunny day.

The first time they met was in the kitchen the next morning. Lexa was sitting at the kitchen table reading a book and having a bowl of cereal when he came in a sat down across from her and said those words that caused her to burn with rage whenever she saw him.

“So you’re that dead faggot’s daughter.”

Lexa wasn’t going to take the bait and glanced up from her book and replied, “So you’re the asshole that likes to hit my mother in their own home.”

He sputtered and laughed, and thought that she was joking, but Lexa didn’t back down. She didn’t smile, didn’t say another word to him, and never took her eyes off of him. It made him uncomfortable, and he made some other stupid remark and poured himself a cup of coffee and left the room.

Her mother peeked at her from the kitchen sink didn’t say a thing. Lexa couldn’t stay silent. To soften the blow and not sound overbearing like him, Lexa asked, “Pleasant fellow. Are you're dating him or does he live here?”

Her mother turned around and didn’t answer and first, it looked to Lexa, and she was searching for the right words.She finally whispered, “Artie stays here occasionally. I’m sorry about last night. He's had it rough the past few year when he lost his job, and it's been hard for him to find a new one."

“Do you support him?”

“Not all the time. Artie lives with his mother. He stays here only when he has too much to drink and can’t drive home.”

“Mom. About last night. You do understand he’s dangerous?”

“It was an accident. You just need to get to know Artie better. Give him some time. You’ll see.”

It was as much as her mother would say to her. Artie could probably hear their conversation, and her mother left the kitchen to tend to him again. It appeared to Lexa that she didn’t want to share anything more about their lives and maybe she was getting too personal asking questions, but Lexa felt she had a right to know.

Lexa instinct took over, and she grabbed the phone book and started to look up self-defense classes. Having no sleep was making her cranky and having a man who would hit her mother was intolerable, and she wasn’t going to be his next victim. His remark about her father created a burning rage inside of her, and she was beginning to want to hit something, hard. Self-defense might kill two birds with one stone. She could learn to defend herself and burn off some anger.  
   
_October 30, 1983, Virginia_

Clarke waited on the phone in the kitchen listening to it dial out then ring, once, twice and on the third ring Lexa’s mom answered. “Hi, this is Clarke is Lexa home?”

“She’s out. Can I take a message for you.”

“Yeah, just tell Lexa I called.”

“I'll give her your message.”

“Damn, damn, damn,” Clarke muttered. She knew she should have tried sooner. It was 10 am on Sunday, and it was Lexa’s birthday. They sent her a care package filled with all the things she loved and had hoped that it had gotten there on time.

Clarke daydreamed of wrapping herself up in a box and being delivered to her. What a surprise it would have been, to pop out of a box and...that’s as far as she had got when the reality would hit her. What would she do next? The question halted her fantasy in its tracks, and put it back into its sad little box, taping itself shut and put it into a closet, forgotten.

Clarke laid her head down on the table when her mother came into the kitchen. “We’re you able to talk to Lexa?”

“Nah, she’s already gone,” Clarke laid motionless and unable to pick her head up as she spoke to her.

Her mother stepped next to her and started to rub her shoulders. “I missed her. We missed her Birthday mom.”

Maggie looked up at the ceiling and then down at her daughter. “Not quite, but I understand honey. I don’t like it any better than you.”

Maggie held her concerned and couldn’t discuss with Clarke what she had talked about with Lexa. One evening when Clarke was out with a few friends at the movies, Lexa called and informed her about her mother’s boyfriend. Lexa explained how she put a lock on her bedroom door and signed up for a self-defense class. Maggie promised Lexa; she wouldn't tell Clarke, afraid of what she would do if she found out. Clarke had a protective streak when came to Lexa, and she would have jumped on the next bus to Texas and drag her back home. Laws be damn.

~

Lexa stepped into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator. Sweat covered her body after her five-mile jog. Lexa developed this habit of a long run after she had started the self-defense lessons. She wanted to build up her stamina and found that it helped her focus on her techniques from the classes. The high school she attended allowed for carefree runs around the track with the other students, and she made some new friends.

Jamie was one of the guys she had met up with frequently at the track, and they would chat as they ran. He struggled with his weight and Lexa was the first to break the ice with him when she stopped in front of him sitting in the stands one day and lightly encouraged him into running, and they developed a friendship over the past month. She liked him a lot. Jamie wasn’t forward or crude like some of the other boys she had met here.

Thinking back to earlier today when they met at the track and Jamie bent over to hug Lexa, surprising her. “Happy Birthday Lexa.”

“Thanks.”

“Do you have any plans today?” Jamie said as put his leg up on a bleacher as he stretched out a tight calf muscle.

Lexa shook her head. “I’m not sure. My mom was asleep when I left this morning, and we haven’t talked about.”

“Would you like to go to lunch or something?” He looked at her genuinely concerned about her lack of plans.

“I’d like that, can I let you know you later?”

“No problem.” A honk from the parking lot and he waved at his ride. “Call me later if your plans change.”

"You got it, Pal."

~

Lexa finished the bottle of water and went to her bedroom and found a note slipped under her door. Her heart jumped reading it was from Clarke and cursed when she saw she had missed her call by twenty minutes.

The only time her mother spoke up to her was when she wanted to use her phone. Her mother couldn't afford the high cost of the long distance charges. The solution was simple to Lexa and asked if she could get a phone in her room, but her mother wouldn’t allow and gave her no reason. If she wanted to talk to Clarke, she would have to walk to the gas station to call her. The walk to the corner phone booth didn’t bother her, but she didn’t understand what the big deal of getting her a phone of her own, especially if she was paying for it herself. 

Lexa grabbed a handful of quarters and left her room and locked the door and saw Artie coming out of the bathroom. He was stinking drunk again, and the stench of alcohol was seeping out his pores making him smell like stale bologna.

“H-h-h-heeey! Wheere d’ya think yeeeeer goin’?” He slurred his words as he hung on the wall and tried to straighten himself up to seem taller.

“Why do you think anything I’m doing would be any of your business?”

“Yourre think that you’rrre special than the rrrests of us, I seeee how you looked down on yeeeer mother.”

That was a lie, and she leaned back against the wall and turned her head to the side in mocked indifference. “Again, why do you think I care what you say? You’re a drunk and a bully.”

He looked down at his feet and came up suddenly to strike her, and she easily stepped aside, and he hit the wall with his fist, putting a sizable hole in the wall. His hand came away bloody and looked broken.

He didn’t notice and tried it again, and Lexa easily dodged his next swing, and she used her leg to knock him off balance, and he landed in a heap on the ground.

Her mother came out of her bedroom as he hit the ground and ran to help him up as he sputtered that Lexa attacked him. Her mom had new bruises on her arms, and one side of her face covered in a red hand print from a hard slap.

“I’m calling the police mother.” Lexa didn’t wait for her mother to object and went to the kitchen.

"No, please. I'm begging you don't call the police. Artie is really sorry. He just doesn’t know how to express himself.”

“Are you kidding me, he’s a bully and an abuser, and he tried to hit me, hell he’s has been beating on you. I’ve seen you try to cover up the beatings he gives you, and you keep taking it. How long before he puts you in the hospital or worst? I’m calling the police. I have to stop him.”

Her mother put her hand to her mouth and went back to help Artie stand and walked him back her bedroom. Lexa held on the line waiting for the police.

~

It was her fifteen birthday, and Lexa was spending at the police station. It was going on 2 o’clock, and she hadn’t eaten lunch and was getting a headache from having to answer the same questions over and over.

“Look, maybe you need to respect your mother here. She doesn’t want to press charges, and since you’re minor, perhaps you could just drop your complaint and let Artie sleep this off.”

It was Lexa’s luck the officer who had come to the house was one of Artie’s buddies from high school, and he spent the better part of the afternoon trying to persuade her file a complaint against him.

“He tried to hit me, and he’s been hitting on my mother, she may deny it, but you’re not blind, look at her face, you can see where he hit her.”

“Have you ever seen him hit her?”

“I almost did the first night I came to live here. If I hadn’t have stopped him, he would have.”

“So you admit you’ve never seen him hit her right?”

“No, I didn’t see him hit her that night again because I stopped him.” Lexa wasn’t getting anywhere with the buddy cop. “Listen, you’re his friend, and he needs help and if you don’t do something he’s going to put her in the hospital. You want that on your conscience?”

“You’re a bright girl, and I wouldn’t want you to get the wrong idea about my friend.”

Exasperated, Lexa raised her voice, “Don’t misunderstand me. I’m not dropping my complaint!”

Out of frustration the officer sat back in his chair and folded his arms across his chest and said, “I’m going to give you a minute with your mother. Maybe she can talk some sense into you." He left, and Lexa got up and went over to her mother who was sitting in the lobby.

“Please drop the charges, Lexa. What do you want from us? You may not believe me when I tell you that I really like Artie.” Something in her mother snapped raised her voice for the first time to her, “Everything changed since you got here.”

Lexa chuckled sadly to herself, and there it was. Her mother had crossed the line. “Wow. You know I don’t have to stay here, the only reason I’m here is my dad died.” Lexa stared at her mother willing her to look up at her. “If you don’t want me to stay then give up your rights and responsibility to me, and I’ll leave, it’s just that simple.” Her mother statement had hurt Lexa, that she would choose him over her daughter. Her mother’s next words would change what would happen to her.

Her mother couldn’t look at Lexa, so she just stared at the ground, unable to answer her. Lexa shook her head and got up to use the payphone to call Jamie and tell him that something had come up and would talk to him later.

~

It was quarter past seven and Clarke was laying on her bed when her mother called her from the kitchen and said that Lexa was on the phone. She jumped off her bed and nearly flew out of the room, her feet didn’t touch the floor before she was in the hallway.

“Lexa, where have you been? I’ve been trying to reach you all day.”

“It’s a long story Clarke, but I do have good news,” She waited for a beat and then said, “I’m coming home.”

Clarke nearly fainted when she heard those three precious words. “When, what? Do you want us to come and get you? What happened? Are you all right?”

“Whoa there. One question at a time. I’m not sure when I can leave, it will be up to the courts. I would love for you to come and get me and to tell you what happened. That will be for another conversation, and yes I’m okay.”

Maggie listened to their conversation and mouthed questions to give to Clarke and held up her hand for her mom to wait.

“Listen I think my mom wants to talk to you.”

“Lexa, can you explain what happened, dear?”

“Hi Maggie, yeah sorry I’ve had a really long day, and I will tell you what happened, but I need to lay down I have this headache, and I need to eat. I’ll be in contact with you guys when I find out more. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“I’m sorry sweetie, I wish we could do more for you.”

“Thanks, Maggie, I know you would.” Lexa sigh, she needed to lay down and forget this awful day.

“Before you hang up Clarke wants to talk to you again.” Maggie handed the phone over to Clarke.

“Lexa I’m sorry I wasn’t able to speak to you this morning, I wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday.”

“That’s okay Clarke. I'm sure I won’t forget this birthday, it’s one for the record. Maybe one day I’ll look back on this day and laugh.”

Clarke wished she knew what had happened and heard the sadness in her voice. “Hey, Lexa it’ll be all right.”

“Yes eventually, but my mom…” She couldn’t finish. It would drag up what her mother had done. They talked more after they got home and her mother picked Artie over her. That hurt.

“Before you hang up there’s one thing that we would like to say to you.”

Lexa waited, and head Clarke and Maggie sing happy birthday to her. Her eyes welled up, and she couldn’t hold back her happy tears. When they finished, all she wanted to do is crawl through the phone line and hug them.

When they finished, Lexa composed herself. “Thank you, both so very much. I can’t wait to get home.”

“Just let us know what we can do, okay Lexa?"

“I’ll call you soon, oh and Clarke. I love you."

Clarke closed her eyes and repeated back. “I love you too Lexa.”

~

_December 9, 1983, Houston, Texas_

It started to snow as Lexa waited for her cab. It had been forty awkward days since her mother chose Artie over her and Lexa hadn’t spoken much to her after her birthday. She kept to herself, and it was Clarke’s mother who had to arrange with the court for her mother to give up her rights to her. Her mother only made one request from Lexa, and that was to dropped the charges against Artie. Lexa wasn’t going to get in her way of their relationship and held Maggie's hand when her mother signed over her rights. It hurt more than she realized but buried it deep.

It shocked Lexa that her mother didn't want or love her. It had hurt more than she let anyone know. When it was really getting her down, Lexa read her dad's letter. He loved her, along with Clarke and Maggie and that was all that matter. Having her biological mother reject her was a painful experience that her father’s words would come back ringing true. _Life is about learning and growing if we didn’t have the pain then joy would lose its meaning._

Lexa arranged with a shipping company to transport her possession by transit back to Virginia and repaired the holes in the door frame from the lock she had installed on her bedroom door. Lexa didn’t want to leave any trace of herself in that house. Her mother did say goodbye when she left for work, and the last thing Lexa did was put the keys in the mail slot and walked away.

Less than three hours she would be home.

~

Clarke's legs were jittery, and Maggie would occasionally put her hand on her knee to stop it’s jumping. “She’ll be here soon Clarke. Take a deep breath."

"I'll try." Clarke held that breath, and her leg started to jump again and couldn’t stand it longer and pushed out of her chair and walked the massive windows to watch the planes arriving. Stupidly hoping to see Lexa from her window but knew that was impossible. Clarke's heart jumped when the announcer said those magical words that Lexa’s plane was arriving at her gate.

Clarke looked over at her mother, and she got up and walked to the exit and waited for her. Wanting to see her face. It was ten long minutes until she finally saw that familiar walk and the flip of her hair then her face. She broke out of line and ran into her arms, and they stood in the way as other people walked around them, and her mother touched on her arm and guiding out of the way of departing passengers and told them to take a breath.

Clarke couldn’t believe how incredible she looked. She looked tired, and her eyes had lit up the moment they spotted each other. Lexa held her hand feeling the connection to her again. It had been a long one hundred and forty-seven days apart and had almost felt like a lifetime, and it had been a miracle that she was here at all.

“You look wonderful Lexa,” Clarke said.

“I feel like a mess. I didn’t sleep last night, and I couldn’t eat this morning.”

“Don’t worry about that. We have something at home. Let’s get your bags and get you home,” Maggie said. “I received your transfer information from your school, and I’ve got you set up for class on Monday, so this weekend you can relax and unwind.”

Clarke couldn’t keep her eyes off of Lexa. It looked like Lexa had been carrying a weight around and now that it was gone she didn’t know what to do with the pent-up energy it had required her to stay under control, and she held onto her hand and rubbed them to help her adjust.

Lexa gazed over at Clarke and the smile she gave her filled her heart up and spill over the sides, splashing around her inside her body making her tingle with happiness. She’s home.

~

After dinner, Clarke, and Lexa were back up in the treehouse. Lexa closed her eyes and began to tell what happened from the first day. Clarke was seething when she finished.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you what had happened, but I didn't want you to worry about me.

"Lexa."

"I know, I know. But I did tell your mom. I just wanted to wait until I got home.”

“I’m not mad at you guys. I’m just sorry you had to go through all of that, but you’re home and safe and that’s all that matters.”

“I am home.” Lexa stood and walked over the Clarke and bent down to look Clarke in the eyes. She brushed her blonde locks from away from her eyes as Clarke closed them, then leaned down and kissed her lips.

“I’ve missed you, Lexa.” Clarke opened her eyes and sincerely looked up at her. “I missed you so much. I thought about mailing myself to you for your birthday.”

Lexa let out a chuckle and mussing her hair. “God, I’ve missed you too!”


	8. Chapter 8

Clarke settled into a routine after that first night’s terrifying nightmare and decided to stay that next morning and began constructing a sleeping area.

Clarke picked a spot that gave her protection against the wind and found a large outcropping to build her nest. It had conventionally placed trees she could lash other branches and began intertwining vines to make the walls. Her current problem was making it waterproof. Its roof came together at the center, and she laid the longer branches along the roofline. It hadn’t rain, but in the evening the mist and dew would come down on her and cause her to shake uncontrollably. Even with the warmth of Star, they both would be miserable by morning until the sun rose and started filter in and warm their camp.

To keep her mind off her past, she filled her days with searching wood for the fires and hunting for food, what little of it was around this area and her supply of nuts, fruits, and dried meat wouldn’t last long.

The pond held a few fish that swam lazily by her when she would go for a swim, and she wished that she had a way of catching them. Trying to grab them with her bare hands had been futile and had managed to snag one, but it slipped quickly out of her hands popping its tail up in the water in defiance as it swam away.

"I need a spear, Star." The cub looked up at her and sneezed. "A long straight one. Help me look for one."

Clarke searched the area for a branch that she could sharpen the tip into a wicked point and cut barbs near its end, and after completing the job, she held it up and eyed its deadly aspect.

"That'll work."

Clarke stood on an outcropping waiting patiently for a fish, any fish to swim close to her. Peering into the clean depth, it was void of fish. Clarke spotted another rock shaded by an overhanging tree. Looking into the water below the elusive fish swam. “Ah ha. There you are.”

The water was deeper in this area and tossing the spear into its depths, she could easily lose her spear and would have to jump in to retrieve. What she needed was a length of rope and looking around a remember the vines wrapping around the nearby trees. One was within reaching distance, but most of the others were too far up into the trees. Some were too thick and couldn’t bend around the spear, but the younger green vines were supple and thin, and Clarke noticed that even cutting them with her sharpest blade that they were tough. She pulled at a particular vine that had wrapped around a nearby tree and when she finally freed it away from it, and she laid in out measuring at least twenty feet. More than enough in what she needed.

Now with her modified spear, she stripped down to her undergarments in case she had to jump in the water and stood on the shaded rock and waited. She saw that the fish were to still too deep for her to have a clean shot and needed a way to get them closer to the surface, she required a lure. Clarke spied a dragonfly resting on a flower nearby then it moved and then landed down nearer the water, and it gave her an idea.

~

Lexa’s eyes followed Clarke as she left the pond. She had been on continuous duty and was intrigued with her latest creation. Watching when Clarke built her shelter and created her spear, and how she hunted for the perfect vine to use to retrieve it after a throw.

The first few cold nights, Clarke would be suffering in the cold, and Lexa wanted so desperately to bring her one of her large furs she would use at night when she would stand guard. In her heart, she didn’t want to deprive Clarke of this experience knowing that she needed the time to find herself. _Hoping that when the time came_ … She stopped herself from finishing her musing.

Lexa mind wandered back the dreams she had on this journey. They had started the night Clarke left her people. Even though they had disturbed her, she still she tried to recall.

_Lexa was running after a young girl and could only see her from the back. The girl resembled Clarke’s appearance having wavy long blonde hair and recalling her behavior was a much younger version of Clarke. The clothes the girl had on were not the dreary dark garments they wore, but they were bright, clean and their colors vivid. At one moment in the dream the girl gazed back at her and smiled, and Lexa’s body tingle with recognition. It had struck her that it was Clarke, but as she tried every morning when she awoke from sleep, she couldn’t recall her face._

_The green meadow bordered by a forest, and she could hear the sounds of the insects that filled the air when they ran. Beautiful flowers, birds and the smells of Spring surrounded them. Then as it did in the other dreams, everything went sideways. A flash of light and a burning flame that topped the trees and the ground became burnt, and the air held an acrid smell of death and destruction, gone were the meadow and the young girl. Every time she found her she was dead, and all that was left was her broken body, her garments torn and bloody. It caused an ache in Lexa’s chest at this soul-crushing loss. She wanted to catch her and protect her, but the flash of light would come, and it would end the same way, she would lose her again._

~

Lexa almost missed Clarke when she returned to the pond. She stepped back up onto the rock and readied her aim as she dropped small white objects into the water. After a short time, Clarke pulled her arm back and cast the spear into the depths and quickly retrieved it with a large fish on the tip of the spear. Lexa wanted to call out and congratulate Clarke for her success but couldn't share in her joy.

~

Gathering her spear, Clarke wrapped the vines around it and hopped down from the rock and went back to the edge of the pond and started to clean her fish. Star came running up to her and sat down waiting for an offering. “Look what I caught?” She quickly dressed and pulled out her knife and split open the belly of the fish. Cleaning out its cavity, and she tosses the guts over to the cub, and Star quickly swallowed without tasting. “Whoa, there you’re going to choke.” Star pawed at the ground wanting more. "I give you more later. I needed to eat first." Clarke cleaned her hands and knife in the water, and this dirty job completed she called to Star. She jumped up on her leg, and Clarke scooped her up and made their way back to camp.

~

Lexa left her post and went back to her camp and instructed Indra attend her watch. She stepped into her tent and grabbed a mug a filled it water drinking it down and filled it again. Then removing her gear and set them on the spare cot and pulling the remaining clothes off her body and cleaned herself with the water from the basin. Staying out for as many days as she had didn’t give her much time to take care of herself. One by one she took out the braids and using her wooden comb starting to remove the many tangles she could feel. It took longer than normal, and she mentally scolded herself for her laziness. Daydreaming of Clarke’s pond and what it would be like diving into the clean waters, but Clarke was too close, and she would be discovered but wondered if one night could visit when she knew Clarke would be asleep and set herself ready to do that very thing tonight.

~

Lexa left her tent well after the waning moon had passed overhead and took the path that would lead her to Clarke’s pond. She hadn’t seen it up close and was in awe of the beauty even at night and dropped the cloak standing naked and stepped carefully into the water. The waterfall would drown her movements as she dove under the water and came up quietly and swam over to the falls. The bar of soap held a clean scent of forest and fresh cut flowers, and she inhaled deeply, washing her hair and soaping up her locks until they no longer carried the dirt from the road. Lexa finished cleaning her body, and she wanted to stay longer, but this indulgence could cost her if Clarke found her here.

Lexa reluctantly walked to the edge of the pond stepping on the beach quickly drying she put her hair in a single thick braid. Grabbing her cloak and as she started to leave she took one long look back at the water and then over to where she knew the Clarke was sleeping and headed back to their camp.

Walking back was hard, her heart was aching for Clarke, and it hit her more than the dreams that she had been having. Lexa cared for her, more each day. Watching Clarke create a new life for herself and living the forest people’s life made her see her differently. Lexa saw Clarke getting stronger with each new day. Lexa held on the belief that Clarke could still feel vulnerable, but her actions belied of what she witnessed with her accomplishments. Many times Lexa wanted to talk to her, to tell her of her grief of the betrayal. That she alone committed against her because of her duties that now didn’t make any sense to her. Lexa felt ashamed. Words came echoing in her mind from lessons she had learned when she had trained to become Heda. _A commander should not show weakness._ Now she was beginning not to care, in her mind, it did not feel like weakness. Lexa drew strength in watching Clarke survived on her own.

A wise person should be open to change, and that is what Clarke had offered. What she did destroy their connection. Now her in her mind that’s what she wanted with Clarke again. Something she felt deep inside her heart, something old and layered with all the nuance that came with the intricacy of life, but most of all she was missing her presence, of her light and wisdom. Soon she would have to decide to come out of the shadows and confront her fears. It would be her greatest challenge.

Could she open herself up to whatever Clarke would say? If she wanted her to leave, she would honor that and leave Clarke alone? Lexa decided she would not interfere and they would never speak again and would respect her wishes and leave.

But what it Clarke did not want her to leave? Lexa stopped her musing. To speak of desire was to disrespect your fate. Lexa would have to humble herself before Clarke and ask her for forgiveness.

When Lexa got back to camp and ducked into her tent, she disrobed and crawled into her bed. That night she wondered if she would dream again and would she dream of Clarke. With a sigh, she closed her eyes and will herself to sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

_October 31, 1986, Near Shenandoah National Park_

  
Clarke watched the passing trees from the side window as Lexa drove into the forest to their destination. The trees along the route grew thicker along the roads through the smaller towns into more rugged terrain and wondered where Lexa was taking her on their road trip.

"So where are we going?"

"You'll see soon enough."

She received a soft squeeze on her thigh from Lexa's hand lightly clasped around her denim covered legs, causing a smiled to light on Clarke's face. She only found out recently that Lexa planned this weekend getaway in secret for months and said she would pick up at her college dorm at promptly 2 o’clock on Friday after class for their long weekend.

Clarke put her bags in the trunk of Lexa's car and got into the car and received a modest kiss on her cheek and a hug. When Clarke pulled back her eyes, she saw the same longing reflected back, that spoke of their desire whenever they drew near.

They attended different colleges and the time apart made Clarke ache for her reunion with Lexa. She couldn't be with her for her eighteenth birthday but sent flowers instead. Keeping her other gifts packed away for later.

What hung between them was the other reason for the vacation. Something that Lexa insisted on. Waiting until she was of age to cross the boundaries into lovers. After years of cuddling, kissing and holding hands, there were times that both would grow bolder and hands caressed shirt covered breasts. And Lexa was the first to place her hand between her legs over her jeans until they could go no further. Lexa pulled back, her face flush and desire remained in her eyes.

“I think this is it," Lexa said as she squeezed her thigh breaking Clarke out of her thoughts, then released her leg and turned into the road heading towards their vacation spot deep in the forest.

A group of people mingled around their cars as they approached the main office. Lexa's car wheels crunched on the gravel as she rolled into a parking place near the front door.

“You can wait here if you want, and I’ll get the keys,” Lexa said.

"Nah, that's okay. I need to get some feeling back into my legs," Clarke replied as she got out of the car and turned around and took in the beauty of the place. The cabins were set apart giving each camper a sense of privacy, and over the treetops, she could see the view of the mountain range off in the distance from where they would be staying, and it was breathtaking. Autumn leaves were just turning flush with color surrounding them. It was a perfect quiet spot. The rugged terrain was just feet away from the safety of the quaint cabins.

Barking from a black lab sitting on the porch drew her over as he greeted all of the arriving guests. The dog had a sweet gray face, and it drew Clarke on the porch and walked over to him, kneeling down to pat his head. He sniffed at her and put his paw out for her to shake.

“What a handsome fellow, a pleasure to meet you.”

“Name’s Ranger,” An older gentleman said from across the porch, leaning back in a rustic rocking chair. He had a head full of white hair and bushy beard. Just the type of fellow you would expect to see up in the mountains.

“Is he yours?” Clarke asked.

“You bet, he’s the official greeter. He likes to make new friends. You're from out of town?” He stood up and stretched his aching body.

“Yeah, just got here. It’s a charming place you have here.”

“We've owned it the past 30 years; inherited from my dad after he passed. Couldn’t part with even in the tougher times when folks stayed in the big city or took their vacations elsewhere. Surprised so many folks here this weekend, though,” He drawled and put out his hand to introduce himself.

“Benjamin is my name, but I go by Ben, Lolly my wife sees to our guest checking in and out of their cabins."

Clarke shook his hand just as Lexa stepped out of the office. "I'm Clarke, and this is my friend, Lexa. Lexa this is Ben."

“Pleasure to meet you, Ben.”

"The pictures didn't do it justice. It's a lovely place,” Lexa remarked.

“Well, thank you, Miss. I hope your two enjoy your stay and welcome to Whispering Pines.”

“Thanks, I’m sure we will,” Clarke said.

Lexa pulled out of the parking spot and drove down the lane and spotted their cabin to the right. It was neatly tucked back into a grove of trees which would give them the quiet place to spend the long weekend. Clarke touched Lexa’s hand as she put the car in park and pulled it towards her and found it shaking. “Hey, will take it slow okay?” Clarke tried to reassure her.

“I’ll be okay. I’m just a little nervous. I’m not sure where it’s coming from.”

“That makes two of us. Let’s get unpack and relax. Will make dinner and we’ll play it by ear. We don’t have to do anything you do want to, okay? Remember I have as much experience as you do.”

Lexa pulled Clarke into a hug, which turned into a kiss. After a few moments, she pulled back and wiped her lipstick off of Clarke's lips. "Oh, I'm sure I'll want to do something with you, babe."

Clarke sighed and gazed dreamily at her lips. "Hmm?"

Lexa punctuated her answer after each kiss. "I'll. Show. You. Later."

"God I've missed you." Clarke kissed her one more time and snatched the keys from Lexa and dashed out of the car and opened the door to their cabin. It was pitch black inside, and the air was chilly.

“Brrr,” Clarke muttered, and stepped inside and searched around for a light switch on the wall and flipped it out. It lit up several lamps resting on the small tables across the room.

Clarke saw Lexa shivering and pulled her into a hug and ran her hands up and down her arms. “It’s adorable, but it’s freezing. I’ll start the fire after we bring in the luggage.”

~

Lexa watched Clarke from the kitchen as the fire came to life while she began to prepare dinner. She had been waiting forward to this day for so long and wondered where her nervousness was coming from, knowing it wasn’t from Clarke who always made her feel at home where ever they were.

"Come join me by the fire." Clarke held out her hand, and Lexa walked towards the fire putting her hands out to feel the warmth. “Feels good.” Lexa knelt behind Clarke and put her arms around her. Holding her tight around the waist and rested her head next to hers.

Clarke took the invitation and held her arms in place around her. “Are you sure you’re okay?” Earlier she had felt the only the slights of hesitation in Lexa, afraid and worrying now that they were alone that she wouldn’t want to go any farther.

“I always feel safe with you Clarke,” She whispered.

Clarke turned in her arms to face her and held her hands. Taking the time to kiss each lightly and then place them on her lap. “I don’t remember when I first fell in love with you, but I couldn’t imagine my life without you. I hope you know that you can always trust me.”

Clarke’s words calmed Lexa as no other thing could do in this world and with those sweet words she closed the distance between them and kissed her. Her fears melted away as her lips remembered their place against hers. She wanted to take it slow and build towards a place where they would finally share an intimacy she had only dreamed about.

Lexa pulled back from the kiss and laid down in front of the fire against a large throw pillow. Clarke took time to trace her fingers over her chin then bent down over Lexa and kissed her again. "I don't know what I'm doing, Lexa."

Lexa put her finger over Clarke's lips. "That makes this more special, Clarke. I promise I'm not afraid or scared of what happens next between us. I just happy to be with you."

Clarke moved Lexa’s hand to her lips and kisses each finger never taking her eyes off of her and even though it sounded naive in her head she shyly asked, “Do you want to touch me first?”

Lexa nods her head unable to speak what heart desired the moment she understood what it meant share intimacy with someone you care deeply. Her mouth slightly parts while Clarke holds her gaze and placed her hand on her chest and then edged inside her shirt, taking her hand away. Lexa's face grew flush, and breaths were quicker remembering Clarke to be the brave girl again.

Lexa watched her face for a reaction as she moved her hand to touch Clarke over her bra for the first time. The weight of her breast startled her and looked up into Clarke's eyes, looking for a reaction. What she saw was the light from the fireplace dancing across her flushing cheeks and bit lightly on her lower lip, and had shut her eyes.

Lexa’s head was swimming feeling the fullness of Clarke’s breast, wondering how they would feel naked.

"I need to lay down," Clarke mumbled falling on her back with Lexa moving with her.

"Is this okay?" Lexa sat across her hips and kept her fingers running over her naked skin.

"More than okay, Lexa." Clarke wrapped her arms around her back holding her in place.

Lexa's sex was throbbing now that her body was partially wrapped around Clarke wishing she could feel her skin on skin. She tested the feeling again and pushed down when she leaned over and took Clarke into a long extend kiss.

Clarke pulled her tighter causing twin groans to escape. Her tongue found Clarke and her hand reached between them to cup her breast and squeeze.

"Off," Clarke cried out, and Lexa pulled back confused. "My shirt, Lexa. Please take it..."

Lexa kissed her lips cutting off her words and relishing the permission, but still taking her time running her fingertips over the soft skin of her stomach and as she continued to kiss her perfect lips. The room felt steamy, from the heat of the fire to the humid breaths of their mouths connecting over and over in a dance of tongue and lips over cheeks and sides of necks. In her haze, Lexa realizes there was too much material between them and pulls Clarke's top off of her shoulders. Now with a goal, Lexa scoots down to kiss the tops of her breasts watching as her pale skin grows flush with desire.

"Lexa."

"I've got you."

Lexa became bolder still and unbuttoned the rest of Clarke's shirt unable to stop kissing each reveal of skin that came into view. Her hands were everywhere. On her shoulder around her waist. She couldn't get enough of the smell and touch of Clarke's smooth skin. A familiar wave of warmth flooded her core. Alongside an urge to rip Clarke’s top completely off. 

When her shirt was open Lexa’s eyes filled with a new hunger she had never before felt with Clarke. Only one barrier remained between, but she hesitated. Seeing Clarke's breasts moving up and down with every breath was new territory. Lexa wanted to memorize this moment with her hands and brought them both down over her breasts and placed her fingers to just to the top of the material and then up to her shoulders and back down.

Clarke’s breath came faster, watching each touch she made. Lexa was fascinated with the reaction she could evoke from Clarke by touching her lightly with her fingers. Now laid almost bare from the top up Lexa sensing Clarke may feel exposed reached for her shirt to take it off.

“Can I?” Clarke's cheeks grew red at her question making Lexa smiled and dropped her hands by her side and let Clarke undress her. Clarke opened each button and slowly removed Lexa's shirt.  Lexa moved to lay down on top of her and put each of her hands in hers and thread her fingers with her. They were touching the length of their bodies, and it was still not enough.

Their lips met and deepened, and Clarke wrapped her arms down to hug her and felt Clarke shift and roll to the side and followed through so Clarke could lay on top of her.

“Touch me, please,” Lexa pleaded looking up her with want held in her eyes that Clarke mirrored and kissed her lips and ran tongue down her neck to the center of her chest. Placing light kisses to the swell of each breast.

Lexa felt light headed as she watched her tongue bathe her skin. Clarke seemed like a woman possessed; touching every piece of naked flesh. Growing daring still, she pulled aside her bra and mouthed the swell of the top of her breast and Lexa was panting as she pushed her back. Clarke paused her eyes questioning until Lexa reached behind her and unclasped her bra and pulled it off of her shoulders and tossing to the side.

Clarke’s mouth went slightly open, and she stared down at her, and she shut her eyes for a moment and opened them and bent over her to kiss her and enter her mouth with her tongue. She felt Lexa’s hand move to back an in one quick motion, and Clarke’s bra came off, and they were finally touching skin to skin. Clarke broke the kiss and inched her way down her kissing her neck and shoulders until she was close to her breast. Looking up at Lexa, her mouth came down and gently kissed her nipple never taking her eyes off her, and then she covered the tip with her mouth closing her eyes as her tongue swirled around the edges and lightly covered her other breast in her hand.

The feeling was more than Lexa had even imagined. The warmth of Clarke’s mouth on her breast caused an ache to grow between her legs, and she felt the desire growing as Clarke painted her with her tongue. Moving to kiss her other breast and exploring her for the first time. Clarke looked up, and her eyes filled with this unspoken desire she had never seen.

She pulled Clarke up, and she moved underneath her until Clarke’s breast was at her lips and opening her mouth she pulled her nipple into her mouth for the first time. Clarke leaned into the caress, and she moved her hand to cup the back of her head to hold her in place. A feeling of being so close to Clarke and warmth of breast in her mouth was intoxicating. She wrapped her hands around her and rolled her over to straddle her thighs, and she sucked gently on her never wanting to let go.

The view of Lexa at her breast sending sparks between her thighs causing Clarke to pulled her up and deeply kissed her, opening up her legs so Lexa could lay between them. At that moment she could feel her wetness as Lexa pressed into her. Wanted to take this further as she moved to unbutton Lexa’s pants.

The buzzer on the oven announced itself and Clarke started to laugh against her lips, and Lexa laid her head down on Clarke's breast for a moment then sat up and blush covered her cheeks. “Damn, I forgot. I hope you’re still hungry.”

Clarke laughed again and turned on her side propping up her head with her hand and staring up at Lexa as she loosely put on her shirt. Clarke slid her hand up to touch her breast freely inside her shirt. “Yes, and yes.” She got up and put on her top to help with finish with dinner.

~

“I can’t stop touching you,” Clarke stated as she stood behind Lexa holding her tight to her body as she watched her cut up the roasted chicken.

“I hope not, I am not finished with you yet,” Lexa insisted.

“Oh, yeah. Well, maybe I should play hard to get.”

Lexa turned slightly to see the grin on her face. “I thought not. Set the table and pour some drinks sexy.”

“Ooh, you think I sexy, huh?”

“It’s your breast, Clarke. I intend to show you how much I love them if you’re lucky.”

“That sounds like a challenge, babe, and I do feel lucky.”

“Smart ass just set the table.” Lexa giggled and finished the preparation and placed the plate of chicken on the table followed by the rest of the meal.

~

They had made small talk as they ate their dinner and Lexa’s mind wandered back to the moment Clarke’s lips touched her breast, she felt a longing as she watched Clarke take a bite of her meal, thinking of her tongue as she moved around her sensitive nipple. Her heart filled with a desire and she let it build. A burning appetite for Clarke was causing an ache between her legs.

Clarke asked her a question, but in her lust filled brain Lexa replied, “You want to lick anymore breast, I mean do you want any more chicken?”

Clarke choked and almost spit out a mouth of potatoes and burst into laughter covering her mouth. “I’m sorry. That was so cute. No, I asked you if you are finished. Where did your mind go?

Lexa put her hands to her face and peeked at her through her fingers. “Don’t ask.”

“I thought that you wander off a bit.” Clarke stood up and bent over to kiss her on the top of her head and took the dishes to the kitchen and began to clean up.

“Hey, I’ll take care washing up.”

“Are you sure?”

“No problem babe. Great dinner by the way.”

Lexa caught Clarke by her arm and pulled down for a kiss and then took her up on her offer and wandered around the cabin. The cabin itself only had three rooms, a bathroom, kitchen and the main living room which was large enough to hold a queen size wooden bed that had a thick quilt cover. Next to the fireplace was a dark green sofa position just to the left of it, and the room decorated with dried wildflowers. Rustic pictures of the surrounding forest with snapshots that had blown up and put in wooden frames. Some photos were from deep in the winter, and the landscape showed the deep snow surrounding the area with just the roofs of the cabins peaking. It was a homey, comfortable place with wooden paneling and small wooden animal carvings adorning small shelves throughout the room. A romantic place for them to share.

She crawled up to the head of the bed and lean the pillow against the bed board and watched as Clarke moved around cleaning up the kitchen and must of sense Lexa's eyes on her, turning to smiled at her. The hesitation she had felt earlier had dissipated, and the only feeling she had was how she wanted Clarke to touch her again. Her mind wandered back to the instant Clarke touched her breast, kissing them, it was perfect a moment. Lexa felt a warmness growing in her, and she didn’t want to rush, and she wanted to build the flame between them again.

Clarke turned off the light in the kitchen moved to the fireplace and placed a couple of logs on the smoldering coals and stoked the fire. She lit a few candles sitting on the side tables and crawled next to Lexa.

Lexa opened her arms, and Clarke laid down against her and intertwined their fingers. Playing with her hand, Clarke moved it over and sucked her thumb it into her mouth and closed her eyes; the desire displayed on her face. Lexa felt the tug as Clarke sucked and rolled her tongue around and biting down softly and smiled up at her as she opened her eyes, giving her a mischievous look. Lexa ran her fingers through her blonde curls, twirling them around her fingers. “So sexy, where were we?

“Umm, we were half naked, and I was…”

Lexa put her hand over Clarke’s mouth. “I think we were right here.” She rolled Clarke to the side and sat on her knees on either side her legs and slowly started to unbutton her shirt, never taking her eyes off of her. She slowed her movements even more, and as the last button came undone, she pulled the material to the side and leaving it open and moved her hair to one side to cover her exposed breast, she tilted head and raise one eyebrow and waited.

Clarke mouthed a silent, ”Wow.” And thanked every deity that ever created that she didn’t lose vision at just this moment, Clarke wanted to ravish her, but she kept her hands still by her side and just wanted to watch what Lexa would do next.

“Come here.” Lexa moved back, and she let Clarke sit up and moved on her knees and walked over to her. Lexa started to unbutton Clarke’s shirt and removed it as she leaned over to kiss her neck and began to suck softly at her pulse point. Clarke stood still and felt Lexa’s wrapped her hands around her back, and slowly run her nails lightly up and down, leaving goose bumps her along her body.

Clarke couldn’t hold back any longer, and her hands cupped Lexa’s breasts, brushing her thumbs over the tips. Clarke went still when she felt a small bite followed by a wet kiss on her neck that sent a jolt between her legs and arched her back. “Kiss me,” Clarke breathed.

Lexa let her shirt drop off her shoulders, and she pushed her back onto the bed and bent over and kissed her as she draped her length over her. They spent long minutes exploring their mouths. Clarke could kiss her all day, but the way Lexa was kissing was without restraint. It felt like hunger was awakening in them. As if behind these doors the freedom to be who they are was unleashed. Everything was possible. “Please help me...” Lexa breathed into her ear, and she moved to let Clarke unfasten her pants. Her breathing went ragged, and she felt her need growing.

Friction between their bodies heating their skin creating slick moisture them together. Clarke brushed against Lexa moving over to worship each inch of Lexa’s body. Clarke's core was growing slippery with wetness gathering between her legs. An urging tug from Lexa as she pushes at her pants, Clarke blindly moved her hands down and helped pulled them off her legs.

A beautifully naked Lexa was now within her grasp as the light from the fireplace painted her skin in crimson streaks with dancing flames over each piece of skin revealed. Clarke wished she could paint her in this light, but she pushed that thought aside now that Lexa was giving herself to her. She was fully exposed, and it was a gift that she was giving to Clarke alone.

Clarke kissed her and ran her hand along Lexa’s body and reach down until it was lightly caressing her short dark curls. Lexa’s breathing in her neck became ragged, and she moved further down until her hand was just at her opening. Clarke’s heart was pounding out of her chest at this moment. The wetness that she could feel covering her palm took her breath away. Lexa was gripping her tightly and could feel her shaking, and she pulled her head back and saw in Lexa’s eyes a need that told her she was waiting for her.

This moment was crossing a boundary and into an unknown. Clarke had craved this connection to Lexa not knowing what it would mean, how it would feel. The girl of her dreams was lying beneath her, wanting her. This moment was theirs forever. She kissed Lexa and ran her finger through her wetness then pushed inside her. Lexa cried out her name over her lips, and Clarke almost came at the sound, and she moved slowly feeling a pulsing around her finger. “Oh god Clarke...” Moaning with her at the feeling of being inside, touching everything that was Lexa and feeling her squeezing down on her finger sucking her deeper. When she pulled out slightly, Lexa whispered. “More.” Clarke adjusted her hand and pushed two fingers inside of her, feeling the tightness of her walls as she squeezed them tighter.

Clarke continued moving in Lexa, touching every intimate part of the girl she was in love with. Feeling her tighten around her fingers as she moved sent sparks of heat between her thighs and she squeezed them tight to keep her rhythm in sync with Lexa’s hips. Clarke shifted her body and slowly kissed her way down her body as Lexa held on to her shoulders.

The light from the fireplace played across Clarke’s back, catching beads of sweat as she moved down her body. Lexa adjusted her legs apart to give her room to lay as Clarke continued painting her body with kisses and tiny bites and blowing soft air over to sooth them as she slowly pushed inside and out of her.

Clarke could feel Lexa’s heat coming for her parted legs and her wetness touching her breast. She moved to her mound and rubbed her face over the soft curls smelling her sex and placed a gentle kiss, running her tongue down along her lips parting her. Lexa’s legs twitched when tongue grazed her sex, and Clarke looked up at her, and their eyes met, and Lexa moved her hand down to cup her cheek, Clarke felt the touch was to ground her to this place, in this time with her. This need was pushing at her, drawing her down and she pulled her fingers out of her and wrapped her arms around Lexa’s legs and pulled them apart and pushed her tongue inside of her.

The sensation of Clarke’s warm wet tongue inside her made Lexa’s head fall hard against the pillow and legs splayed sinfully apart. Her breaths came out in soft moans as Clarke pushed in and out with her tongue, running along her lips with each new touch flooding her body with fresh sensation causing her hips to jerk. The more sounds she made, the more she felt Clarke focus on her need. Lexa felt an impulse to move her hips reflexively as Clarke shifted up to cover her sex with her mouth, focusing her attention across the bundle of nerves twitching at each lick.

Clarke’s hands had opened her up, and she stared down as she touched her most intimate place knowing that this is love coming from Clarke that forever bonded them together. Feeling the first wave of warmth slide between her legs. Just as she reached a breaking point, Clarke penetrated with her fingers again, and her climax roared through, and her body shook. Her sex was throbbing in Clarke’s mouth, feeling each lick more intensely until it settled. She slowly stilled taking in short breaths as her release spread warmth through her body and reaching for Clarke, her mouth still on her and pull her up. She wanted Clarke to lay on top of her, to feel her weight ground to this space for fear she would float away.

Clarke felt her hands pull at her, and she was reluctant to move. She looked at her and saw her smiling down at her with sleepy eyes and couldn’t deny her love what she wanted. Wiping her mouth over her thigh and crawled back to lay across her. Falling into her embrace, she sighed and pressed her ear to her heart.  
  
“Hmmm.” Clarke hummed into her chest. “That was…” Clarke didn’t have words to describe what it felt like to make love to Lexa. All the fears she had dissipated when she felt Lexa’s hands running through her hair and down her arms and wrapping her arms around her to hugged her tightly. She felt tears forming in her eyes at their first connection to her lover.

Clarke looked up at her as a tear fell from her eye and Lexa reached up wiped it away, Lexa understood the emotions she was feeling. She moved to Lexa side and wrapped her arm around her waist and kiss her shoulder gently. Lexa whispered into her ear. “You need to take your pants off…now.”

Clarke quietly chuckled into her neck and looking over at her. Her sweet face turned serious, but she obeyed her command. “Yes, right now…” Clarke pulled her pants off and just as they hit the floor Lexa rocked her over and sat on her stomach. Clarke felt the wetness as she pressed down, a sense of pride covered Lexa’s face it now held a mature look that she hadn’t seen before today. A precise determination now is what she kept on her face. All the fear from this afternoon completely vanished and now resting on her was a hungry woman looking down on her. She put her hands over her head rested them on the pillow in submission.

Lexa pressed one hand on the sheet beside her and leaned down over Clarke, her hair partly covering both of them. With her other hand, she held Clarke’s breast and gently turned her hand over rubbed the backside of her fingers over her nipple causing it go hard as she whispered into her ear. “I loved it when you stuck your tongue inside of me, did you feel how wet you made me?”

Clarke let out the breath she didn’t remember holding and closed her eyes and could only swallow and nodded her head. Lexa was going to torture her.

Lexa rubbed face against her cheek. “Mmmm, I can smell myself on you.” She moved her face around and kissed her deeply and grind her wet core over her stomach, the wetness allowing her to slide up and down her belly. She pulled back and whispered in her ear again. “I can still feel you inside me.”

Clarke’s breathing grew ragged, and she continued to attack her mouth. Yes, Lexa was indeed going to torture her.

Lexa slowed her kisses and stilled her hips. The became slower and softer. She was taking great care into worshiping her mouth. Running her lips over Clarke’s getting gentler with each pass until she pulled back. Lexa's eyes had gone completely dark.

Clarke could only lie there at taking what she was giving. It felt so natural with the way Lexa touched her, and she was wondering how long she could hold out.

Lexa inched her way down her neck, sucking as she had done before, but not hard enough to leave a mark, more like sucking kisses. Light at first then pulling her skin into her mouth slightly then releasing making a sweet sound, running her tongue along the way leaving a wet trail and then stopping again to place an echo into her soul as she worked her way down to her chest.

She hovered over one of her breasts and looked up at Clarke. “I told you, I was going to show you how much I love your breasts,” She looked into her eyes, and her lips ran over the tip of her nipple, and then tongue peaked out and lightly caressed the tip running it around the edge and then sucking it into her mouth. Lexa couldn’t keep her eyes open as she continued to suck on her breast, cupping her other breast gently in her hand. Lexa pulled back slightly and ran her tongue over the sensitive peak. Her eyes drifted to look into Clarke’s darkened eyes and hummed as she licked around her nipple.

Clarke felt her resolve letting go. Her hands were still over her head she felt her body start to jerk at each lick and soft bite as she moved to worship her other breast. Taking in short breaths trying not to close her eyes, and wanted to see everything Lexa did to her. A memory she wanted to keep and remember forever. Watching as Lexa make love to her for the first time.

Lexa pulled back and licked her breast and blew a soft breath across the tip and watched as it grew hard. Clarke couldn’t hold back a breathy, “Lexa…”

“Shhh. I’ve got you.” Lexa moved her hand up, and Clarke’s went down, and they intertwined their fingers. “I’ve got you.” Lexa kissed the back of her hand.

As confident as Lexa seemed, in her heart, she was trembling. She felt their connection weaving together as she watched Clarke’s eyes as she moved over her breast and sucked on them. Not sure of exactly what she was doing but the motion seemed to come naturally to her. Each lick she felt a jerk from Clarke’s body, and it sent a wave through her at their connection, urging her on. Giving her the confidence to continue, she wanted to feel more.

Clarke’s hand had moved to cup her cheek, and she couldn’t resist placing a soft kiss into her palm. Smelling herself still lingering on her fingers, sent a jolt to her sex. Lexa’s hand went down between her bodies, and she moved it to lay just over Clarke’s center. Lexa touched her wetness seeping out as her hand rested at her entrance. She felt Clarke take in a breath, and she kissed her breast again and entered her. “Clarke you’re so wet,” Lexa whispered. Clarke moaned at the comment and cried out again as Lexa added a second finger and she felt Clarke tighten around them. It was too much, her body shifted, and she moved to lay between her open legs. Looking up at Clarke and then ran her tongue down the length of her. Her head swam with the scent and taste of Clarke.

Clarke felt complete, seeing her lover over her and in her. Seeing her hair draped along her body was too much. Watching as Lexa’s tongue bathe her core. Each new lick she felt a deep tugging inside, and her hand moved to rub Lexa’s long hair against her body and then lightly brushed her hair aside so she could see Lexa’s eyes, connecting to her as she had never felt before today. Lexa fingers inside of her made her want to cling to them and draw them in deeper as she wrapped her lips around her the base of her clit and ran her tongue quickly over it and her legs started to jerk in reflex. Her hips naturally rocked up into Lexa’s face, and she held onto her legs, holding them in place.

Clarke arched her back and pushed down to meet Lexa’s thrusting fingers. In one beautiful moment, she felt suspended as her fingers rubbed deep inside against a sensitive area and it drove her over into an exploding release. She felt more wetness between her legs and watched as Lexa moved down to lap up her offering and another wave move through stronger than the first and at each thrust another strong wave hit her deep inside, rolling towards her to another climax.

Lexa was in awe watching Clarke come and felt her walls clench tight around her fingers, almost making to hard to move them. Shifting them around inside and just as her fingers found a particularly sensitive spot, she felt the waves of Clarke’s release pour out over her hand. It was too much, and she moved to lick around her entrance and feel the wetness over her face. Her fingers still deep inside and ran her fingers over the sensitive patch again and another the wave hit Clarke again. She let her last release complete and still and carefully removed her fingers and kissed her over her entrance. Lexa moved up slightly to rest her head against her mound. Wrapping her arm around her leg, grounding herself to Clarke. Feeling Clarke's hand run through her hair, and she looked up and seeing the glow from the fireplace illuminate her face and Lexa crawled up and collapse in her arms.

Clarke reached down and pulled the quilt to cover them from the cooling room. Tucking it around Lexa’s shoulders and snuggling down into her comforting embrace. Moving her hand up and down her back as her bodies relax into the mattress.

Clarke made a soft purring sound in her throat, and she felt a soft chuckle against her breast. “You made me come twice.” She felt another chuckle against her as Lexa buried deeper into her chest. Clarke joined her chuckling, and Lexa moved her head to look into her sweet sleepy eyes. Her face still lit by the candles next to their bed.

Lexa reached down and held Clarke’s hand in hers and whispered.  
  
_I feel your heart beating against my breath._  
_Your love surrounds me with warmth and fills me with overwhelming joy._  
_Feeling your arms embrace me in the fading light;_  
_All my fears vanish, and my heart can rest peacefully laying in your arms._  
  
Clarke had closed her eyes as she listened to the sweet words that easily formed into a poem just for her in the quiet place. “That’s was beautiful, Lexa. How do you come up with those words so easily?”

“It’s in you that I can find my voice. I think about why I love you and how you make me feel. I don’t know, I just I can’t let them be. I need to express how I feel. I want you to know why I love you. You make me feel safe Clarke.”

Clarke reached over and blew out the candles, and they settled into the for the night. Clarke kissed Lexa softly on her lips, and then one to her forehead and sank deep into the bed. A love shared together enveloped them in this sweet oasis, in this cabin in the mountain.


	10. Chapter 10

The fire popped and sprayed burning embers in the night sky with heat carrying them high into the air until they dissipated into nothing. Indra sat by the fire, peering into its crackling logs tending the flame through the night when a Trikru warrior came into their camp. Dismounting quickly and pulling his horse along and tied it to a nearby tree as he patted its neck. The rider worked at removing a pack off of the horse’s backside and moved towards Indra. The young warrior rode miles to catch up to them and followed the signs that they had left along the way.

Indra looked up and nodded to the young man. “How was your ride Sabon?”

“No trouble Indra. I have messages for Heda.”

“She’s in her tent,” Indra instructed.

Stopping just outside her tent and called out to her, “Heda Leksa.”

“Come.”

Lexa was laying on her bed and opened her eyes as he ducked inside. Her tent was lit up by a single candle resting on the table beside her, and he knelt on one knee.

“Your name is Sabon?”

“Yes, Heda. I bring you messages you from Polis."

Lexa took his offered package. “Have something to eat and rest a while. I will have replies for you shortly, and thank you.”

“Yes, Heda.”

~

Lexa opened another message from one the clans that had been corresponding with her when she was away from Polis. Most of the others were currently sprawl across from her on the second cot.

She sorted the messages to each clan and noting the wording as to the attitude of each leader carefully. It was a mental exercise she had developed after becoming Heda. Each was instructed to explain their ideas, and it pleased her with the progress they had been able to achieve in such short notice.

Lexa had kept a mental picture of the positions of the clans in her coalition. It kept her sharp and ready for battle. Even being away from Polis, her loyal emissaries helped her organized the clans for a possible fight with the Ice Nation. It was something that had been praying on her mind since the sky people came to earth. With Wanheda taking the mountain and peace within their reach the only one thing could destroy it, and that was a war with Queen Nia.

Nia was devious and cunning, and one would do well by keeping more than one eye on her comings and goings. Her land was north of Trikru, but still not too far to cause rumbling among the clans. Lexa goal was to disrupt any plans that the Queen was devising. Peace was on everyone’s mind now when the dangerous mountain men were taken down.

Lexa read the last of the messages and compose new letters to be sent out at first light. She instructed them to have faith in this new beginning. Peace was now possible. It was a goal they all share.

~

Clarke was still in her shelter having fallen asleep after a long sleepless night in the cold. Star was sitting by her side and sniffing at the air. She got up and wandered towards the water, and continued sniffing around. Scratching at the sand, kicking it up and filling the air with dust. Her nose had caught a strange odor, and she was attempting to find its source with no luck.

Star sat down next to the shore and gazed around until her nose caught lingering faint smell that had covered the area. The scent had come from a human, but not her human. She sniffed again as the odor faded and her eyes caught a movement in the bush and ran towards the spot, digging around and finding a small rodent. Star started chasing it around the sand until it found another hole running away from the baby wolf. Her adrenaline kicked in and began to dig into it, kicking up more dirt and dust, but the rodent had made its escape.

~

Clarke blinked her eyes open when the first light from the morning sun started to filter into her shelter. Letting out a big noisy yawn and ran her hands over her face. Her back was aching from the cold hard ground, and she rolled over and crawled out on her hands and knees and stood up to stretch out. Turning to one side and then the other, hearing and feeling popping noises as her back cracked with the motion and Clarke let out a grateful moan. The air was fresh, and she faced the sun with her eyes closed soaking up the rays, feeling the warmth seep into her body from the long night cold. Clarke breathed out feeling warmer and less stiff, opening her eyes and looking around her camp, the fire was still smoldering and tossed in a couple of logs on the embers to restart the fire. She shook the canteens and hearing nothing she headed to the water.

Star sprinted in her direction when she heard her coming and ran up to greet her, wagging her tail and running circles around her. “You're always ready to play, aren’t ya?” Clarke picked up and stick and held it above her head, making her jump up and try to grab it with her mouth. Clarke tossed it across the beach, and Star dashed to retrieve it.

As she filled the canteens, Clarke's mind drifted back to the dream she had right before she woke. She remembered feeling a joy that caused a smile to come across her face. A radiant warmth tingled through her body, contrary to the cold she felt before she fell asleep. Images of a room, and a very comfortable bed, where she laid under a thick cover with a woman tucked beside her. She remembered hearing rain hitting a window and then looked at the woman again and could see the light from a candle dancing across the skin of her arm draped over her. Her eyes drifted up to her face and caught the gaze of brilliant green eyes looking deeply into hers, but the moment she focused on the girl’s face laying next to her, the image started to fade, and she blinked her eyes open and was in her shelter in the forest.

It had faded with the morning light, but its memory lingered in her mind, and it made her want for company. Clarke let out a sigh, in her heart, she longed for someone to talk to, someone to tell her everything was going to be okay. Staying away from everyone for so long made her understand the what it means to be human.

Clarke missed her mom and her friends, but one person she always kept just at the edge of her mind was of her, of Lexa. She truly missed her friendship, and it caused an ache to her heart of what they had lost on Mount Weather. They had lost each other, and it made her question what their friendship was based. Did Lexa use her? Was she, Clarke, just an end to a means? It hurt to think that Lexa was capable of this. She hated that thought, and she had to push it away. No, Lexa kissed her, and it didn’t feel like she was using her. Something happened to make her walk away from her. Her people would be the most crucial consideration in her mind, and she did understand the profound responsibility that one would carry at being a leader of their people. Lexa wanted her people to survive, and she could understand what had motivated Lexa to leave her on the mountain.

Clarke’s dilemma, could she ever forgive her if she asked for a second chance? Could she?

Star brought her out of her thoughts and dropped the stick by her feet, and she picked it up and flung back into the water. She sighed and walked back to her little home and started to plan her day.

~

Indra entered Lexa’s tent and waited for her to complete her letters. She could see the strain in the Commander's posture, these days of waiting and watching the sky girl was taking a toll on her even though Lexa tried to hide it. Indra wondered why she needed to protect this girl who certainly wanted to be alone.

In the back of her mind, she also wanted to see how this would play out. Knowing that Wanheda was a threat, possibly to all of their clans and having her and the sky people with them would be a benefit. Still, to what end for Heda?

Lexa quickly looked up at Indra and back down and finished making the last note and said without looking up, “Is my rider ready?”

“Yes, mounted and ready to leave this early morning.” Indra paused. “If I may ask, Heda." Lexa nodded her head. “Will be staying longer?”

Lexa glanced up and her, and sighed. “I understand your worry Indra. I have also worried about my decision to follow Clarke. Have I made another mistake?” She paused and looked deeply into her eyes, trying to measure the correct words to use. “Clarke is the answer, in my head I know this.”

“In your heart also, Heda?”

Lexa sucked in a quick breath at this question and looked down, not having the courage or the words to say what her heart indeed was feeling. Quickly wrapping up the messages and putting them into a leader pouch she handed them to Indra, and the conversation was over.

“Send these immediately.” Indra turned, and Lexa stated. “And yes, Indra also in my heart.”

Indra nodded her head without turning and left her. Lexa put her hands to her face to cover her sadness. Feeling the guilt of her betrayal was hitting her again in a deep place. The shame of hurting Clarke, damaging their alliance. But, it was more with Clarke. Something that she felt deep in her heart. It was a connection to the sky girl that frighten and delighted her. She knew that Clarke would have the capacity to destroy her if she rejected her, like what she had done to Clarke at the mountain. She wouldn’t have the same courage as sky girl did and leave everything she knew. The contrast in emotions pulling at her soul. Soon she would confront her, and face possible rejection. The two possible outcomes could either save her or destroy her. The latter would finally freeze her heart completely, and no one would be able to penetrate the walls that would go up forever. She would become a ridged leader, devoid of love and human connection. The wall she would build herself. To protect and keep out all who dare to love this wretched and tortured soul.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning. This chapter was difficult to write as I too have known this in my life, from a dear friend. Thanks to all of you for reading my story. mares

_November 1, 1986, Near Shenandoah National Park_  
  
Lexa became aware of Clarke's warm naked body nestled next to her equality nude body the next morning and shifted her legs apart when she fell on her back and sensed her intimate parts a little tender but well loved. Remembering that she woke Clarke in the middle of the night with kisses on her exposed back pulling giggles from her and they made love again. Their scents mingled together along with urgent wants, crying to be fulfilled in this comfortable home away from home.  
  
It wasn't how she planned it in her head making love to Clarke but was better than she imagined. Lexa got ideas from lesbian novels, but nothing she read before would come close to the real thing. It made her blush and little horny again.  
  
In those first few seconds when her thoughts about last evening started to fill her head. Restlessness planted a seed in her brain compelling her to put all her memories down on paper. It was an urge she rarely ignored. Knowing if she didn't put down they could easily flit away to nothing. And she planned on remembering last night forever.  
  
The morning light was just now peaking through the curtains, and Lexa focused on the clock, just passing eight and laid her head back down and felt a chill go through her at the coolness of the room. Lexa hated to move from the warm, comfortable spot next to Clarke, but she needed to get the fire going and warm the cabin and get to writing.  
  
Lexa got out of bed and immediately regretted her decision and searched for her clothing from last night and found Clarke's sweats and socks on the floor instead and quickly slipped them on. Lexa could see her breath and checked the indoor thermometer, finding it hovering around forty-two chilly degrees. Lexa pulled the blanket off the couch and wrapped it around her shivering body and gazed back to her warm sleeping bed partner wanting to join her again but braced herself to make the fire.

~

A familiar scent of coffee brewing and bacon frying woke Clarke. She peeked through half-open eyes and found Lexa sitting on the sofa writing in her journal and watched for a few quiet minutes. Wanting to cherish this picture of what beautiful sight Lexa is with her hair wild and glasses half on her nose with her hand moving across the page to paint a story that her mind recalled.  
  
The fireplace warmed and lit the room, and with the smell of the forest around them, it felt like Christmas and her birthday had come all at once. Images of last night flooded her mind, remembering Lexa climaxing in her mouth as she clung to her waking up other parts of her body. Her world came into focus on the meaning of her life and the love she felt for this sweet, messy girl sitting on the sofa. Clarke was in love with the most beautiful girl in the world, and she loves her back.  
  
“Hey.” Clarke's voice cracked, still thick with sleep.  
  
Lexa looked up from her journal and pushed her glasses further up her nose. “You want some coffee sleepyhead?”  
  
That drew a lazy smiled on her face. “Nah, I need to get up.”  
  
Following a trip to the bathroom, Clarke found warm clothing laid out at the foot of the bed and after dressing padded her way into the kitchen and fixed a cup of coffee and checked the bacon. Moving it off the heat and set them on the clean napkins.“I’ll finish breakfast.” Clarke moved about the kitchen, and Lexa didn't glance up but just nodded her head continuing to write. Clarke fixed breakfast of scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast with strawberry jam and carried everything over on a tray and set on the coffee table.

~

“Do you want to take a hike today?” Lexa asked from the corner of the sofa. Plate in hand and piece of bacon dangling in front of her face until her tongue reached up and pulled it into her mouth.  
  
“You’re going to torture me again aren’t you?”  
  
Lexa wagged her eyebrows as she smiled at her. “Maybe just a little.”  
  
“Before or after we take a hike?  
  
“Definitely after.”  
  
Lexa set down her plate and crawled to Clarke and just as she was about to kiss her there was a quiet knock at the door.  
  
"Wonder who that could be?" Clarke moved to check the window and saw the older gentleman from yesterday and opened the door. “Hi, Ben can I help you?”  
  
“Sorry to bother you folks so early in the morning, but I had a call come in from a family member that needs to speak with you.” He looked down a the note. “The call came from a Mrs. Griffin.”  
  
Clarke’s heart went to her throat, and she looked over to Lexa who stood up and walked to the door and peered out. “We’ll be right over.” They quickly dressed and drove to the office and Clarke made the long distance call to her mother. “Mom, what happened? Are you okay?” Panic set in her voice and her hands were shaking.  
  
“Oh, yes honey, I’m okay. But I need to speak with Lexa. It’s about her mother.”  
  
"She's right here, Mom." Clarke handed her the phone.  
  
“Maggie, what happened?”  
  
“Lexa I got a call last night from the police in Houston, and they gave me some bad news about your mother.”  
  
Lexa's legs went weak, and she sat in the chair near the phone and braced herself against what she feared happened. “Tell me.”  
  
Lexa heard Maggie take a breath and began, “I'm afraid that there is no easy way to tell you, Lexa. Your mother was killed two nights ago by her boyfriend, Arthur. He died the next day after he ran her car into a telephone pole while the police were trying to take him into custody. The police found my number and called late last night. Lexa, I’m so sorry to have to tell you like this. I wish I could have told you in person.”  
  
Lexa shut her eyes and felt a deep familiar pain wash over her. A pain she hadn’t felt since her dad died. “How did she die, Maggie?”  
  
“Oh, sweetie I don’t want to go over the details with you right now since you so far away. We can discuss this later.”  
  
All Lexa's mind could register was her father was dead, and mother murdered and she was all alone in this world and needed to push the pain down so deep it wouldn't crush her. Lexa responded flatly, “I understand Maggie and thank you for letting me know. Here’s Clarke.” Lexa’s eyes started turning red but kept her tears from falling, and handed the phone to Clarke and quickly left the office.  
  
"What happened Mom?" Maggie repeated the information to Clarke but not the details of her death.  
  
“Clarke, I’m sorry that I had to call you when you were away. I just didn’t want to wait till Tuesday when you got back. Just in case it was in the news somehow.”  
  
“You did the right thing, Mom.”  
  
“Please take care of her. Lexa has lost both of her parents. I just can't fathom what she must be feeling right now."  
  
“Mom we're her family. We have been for a long time." Her mother went quiet, and Clarke could hear her sniffing. “Mom, please I didn’t mean to make you cry. It’s okay, will be all right. I swear I’ll take care of Lexa.”  
  
“Baby, I know. It's just...Lexa has been through so much in her life.” Clarke could hear in her mother's voice something else. “I didn't think I would miss you both so much. I knew I wouldn't see as often when you two left for college, and it does get a little lonely sometimes. I miss hearing your voices.”  
  
“I know mom. I miss you too." The thought of losing her mother brought swift tears to her eyes and sensed just a little of what Lexa was feeling. It was a devasting thought and needed to see to Lexa quickly. "Will see you first thing on Tuesday when we get back.”  
  
"Drive home safely and Clarke I love you.”  
  
Clarke put her head down "I will. I love you too, Mom."  
  
Ben walked out of the back office wiping his hand with a rag and approach Clarke still standing by the phone. “Is everything okay?”  
  
“Not really, Ben." Clarke looked out of the window finding Lexa sitting in her car and needing to comfort her any way she could. "Lexa lost her mother a couple of days ago, and they just were able to contact her guardian to inform her. She didn’t live in the state, and they weren’t close. I know it still hurts her just the same.” Clarke wasn't sure why she shared so much information with a stranger but just couldn't keep her thoughts to herself.  
  
Ben put his large hand on her shoulder and squeezed. “Well, that’s a shame. Sorry to hear that they weren’t close. Happens sometimes in families; happen with my Lolly. She came from a large family that owned another camp near here. Fight all the time those lot. It tore everybody apart, couldn’t have more than two of them together in the same room at same times. Boy, and let me tell you about our Christmas…” He trailed off. “Well, listen to me go on about stuff you don’t care about. I'll let you see to your friend. Tell her I’m sorry to hear about her ma. Will you be checking out?"  
  
“No, Ben. We will be staying the rest of weekend." Clarke glanced out the window and saw Lexa now held her head in her hands.

~

Clarke kept Lexa's chilly hand in her lap to bring the warmth back while driving back to the cabin. Lexa remained silent as she looked out at the passenger’s window. Clarke could see her reflection in the window and squeezed Lexa hand to bring her back, but she continued to look out away from her.  
  
Too exhausted to anything else Clarke followed Lexa's lead and sat on the sofa and waited for her to speak. Lexa finally looked up at her with tears streaking down her face. “My mom died on my birthday, Clarke. When I was out celebrating, she was dying.”  
  
Clarke closed her eyes. _Damn_. “You couldn’t have known Lexa.”  
  
“I know, it just that what if I hadn’t left Houston? What if I could have done something, stopped him.”  
  
“Lexa, you remember the reason you left, and I'm not blaming your mom. It's just; you did try. Your mother couldn’t be strong enough for you."  
  
“I should have been strong for her.”  
  
“You were only fifteen, barely fifteen and it wasn't safe for you to live with her. Your mother made her own choices. You’re allowed to feel bad, but don’t, please don’t blame yourself.”  
  
Lexa kept quiet, and Clarke thought that maybe she went too far when finally Lexa crawled over and curled up in her lap. “I don’t know what I should be feeling right now."  
  
Relieved Clarke rubbed her back. "You don't have to feel anything right now. Just keep breathing and know that I love you."  
  
"I can't seem to feel anything but cold."  
  
Lexa was shivering, and Clarke remembered a bit of training her mom taught her about someone going into shock. Lexa wasn't showing any signs yet guided Lexa into the shower to get her warm.

~

Lexa could feel the pain now, and the warm water did little to dull its burden or keep her from shaking. Even with Clarke's arms around her world turned dark. But through that darkness, she could hear her soft, comforting words murmured as Clarke took her time washing her body from head to toe and when finished she just held her. Breathing slow and steady. Keeping her grounded, loved, Connected. Her Clarke was the one person that understood her the most.  
  
Lexa's tears continued to flow and washed away with the warm water. The grief settling into her heart had hurt, but much differently than her dad. Somewhere in her mind, Lexa thought that maybe one day she could reconnect with her mom. Perhaps even have her come up for a vacation, possibly get her away from underneath that bastard’s thumb, but time hadn’t been on her side. That is what hurt. Her mother’s time had run out.  
  
“Hey, the water is getting cold, sweetie.” Clarke rubbed her back again, and Lexa kissed her for the first time today. It was a warm, sensual kiss that took her by surprise. Her mind blanked out everything except the night before, and she wanted to touch Clarke again.  
  
“Can you take me to bed Clarke?”  
  
“Are you sure?” Clarke appeared hesitant.  
  
“You're the only thing I’m sure about right now. I need to be close to you Clarke. We don’t have to do anything. I just want to lie in your arms.” Fear took hold of Lexa and hated that she sounded needy.  
  
“I’d love to do that, but how about we go for a hike, get some fresh air. I think it would do you some good, give your mind something else to think about today. What do you say?”  
  
“Are you having regrets?” Lexa wondered why Clarke didn't want to sleep with her again.  
  
“Hey, look at me, Lexa. Do you think I would be standing here if I didn’t want to be here in your arms?”  
  
“My mind is a jumble right now. I…I don’t know what I’m saying.” Lexa started to cry again. “Please don’t leave me, Clarke.”  
  
“Oh, baby. I’ve got you.” Clarke held her tighter and turned off of water and moved Lexa out of the shower and grabbed a large towel and wrapped it around her body.  
  
“Listen, let’s just dry off, for now, no deep thinking about anything today. Okay?” Lexa nodded her head and let Clarke take care of her.

~

Clarke helped Lexa into clean clothes and sat behind her on the bed and began combing out her long hair. Attempting to lighten the mood, Clarke told her amusing stories about what was happening in college with her courses, but Lexa sat quiet and tried to add to the conversation, but in her heart, it felt like their weekend together was falling apart. Nothing felt right, her raw emotions making everything seem unnatural and forced. But what was worst was how the sound of Clarke’s voice sounded off to her.  
  
Lexa believed the mood from Clarke changed. Her mind was confused and depressed, making her think that Clarke would get bored of her crying and would want to leave her. She couldn't be sure. Stabbing guilt settled into her gut of wanting to be with Clarke more than her mother colored everything dark, and she needed to move away from her. To stop the pain from burying her confusing her further with crazy thoughts. Afraid to tell Clarke what she is thinking, she got up and went to the bathroom and shut the door.

~

"That's whe..." Clarke’s hands hung in the air with the comb, and she put them down in her lap. _She just needs space, Griffin._ It happened the first time with her dad. Two whole days Lexa slept. Clarke just brought her food and gave her space and slept with her mom from Lexa's request. It hurt, but her mother told her everyone experience lost differently. _Lexa will come around when she's ready._ On the third morning, she found Lexa in the kitchen making breakfast. Tears held in her eyes and Lexa fell into arms when she saw her, and they didn't spend a night apart until they left Lexa in Houston.  
  
Clarke walked over to the closed bathroom door. “Lexa I’m going to go for a walk and give you some space. But, I’ll be right back.” Clarke listened to hear a response, but there was none. She put her forehead against the door out of frustration wishing somehow she could erase the last hour out of Lexa's memory.  
  
Clarke wandered behind the cabin in the woods along well-worn trails. Her heart was still with Lexa but knew when to back off and give her some time. They never fought. Lexa called when they disagreed over something silly and when voices were raised, _Sparring_. It was silly, but that was Lexa. A fighter, beneath all of her softness.

Clarke spotted a bit color peeking out among the tree’s litter. Wildflowers were giving off their last bit of colors before winter settled in and immediately thought of Lexa and her love of flowers. She picked few of the yellow and purple flowers with a wild scent that didn’t have a name.  
  
With a small bundle in hand, she came back to the cabin and Lexa was still in the bathroom, and put the flowers in the vase on the table. Clarke spun around the room, and her eyes fell on her suitcase and finding a drawing pad, and pencil Clarke walked to the closed bathroom door and sat down putting her back against it and started to sketch.  
  
Keep it simple Clarke thought. And first, she drew a honey bee that resembled Lexa with big glasses and long curly hair and pushed it under the door and heard a quiet giggle. Encouraged the next sketch was a Clarke bee, with big boobs and big lashes, holding a flower and edged it under and waited and received another laugh.  
  
What followed next was a drawing of same two honey bee’s flying in midair, Clarke gazed shyly at Lexa. Clarke's face showed a bit of blush, and Clarke put motion into her hand like it was waving at Lexa hiding behind a flower, with just her head poking out from the tiny petals. Clarke placed that under the door and waited. It was quiet, then suddenly she felt the weight of the door behind her vanish, and she was lying on her back looking up at her Lexa’s upside down face.  
  
“Hey,” Clarke said.  
  
“Hey, yourself.” Lexa stepped over her and put out her hand to lift Clarke from the floor. “Sorry about before, are you still up for that hike?”  
  
"You bet."

~

They walked hand in hand down the path that followed the cabins until it veered off and they were at a small bridge over a running stream. Fingers intertwined as Lexa held the flowers in her other hand. Occasionally bringing the petals to her face enjoying the unusual scent. Her world felt like it was falling back into its proper place. Her mind did feel freer and uncluttered. The feelings she had before about Clarke had come from a dark place and told her what she had been thinking.  
  
Clarke turned her around and put Lexa’s back against the railing and brought her hands to her face and kissed them. “Listen, I’m not going anywhere without you. Whenever you need space or me to be with you, just asks. Whatever you have been feeling or thinking about me, know that I love you. I would never hurt you, at least not on purpose." Clarke looked up at the sky and shook her head. "Now I wish my mother waited to tell you when we got home.”  
  
“It's not her fault. I forgot how it was to feel so out of control that I guess I let my mind wander off. I don’t know why I did that, did that to you. You didn’t deserve that. I’m so sorry Clarke.”  
  
"It's okay." Clarke pulled Lexa close to her and closed the distance between them and kissed her. This kiss was of forgiveness. The next one was of passion that she felt for her, and it took her breath away.  
  
Lexa pulled back a bit and rested her head on her shoulder. “Whoa, tiger.”  
  
Clarke purred and said. “And don’t you forget that.”

~

Lexa pressed Clarke’s back against the wall of the cabin, effectively pinning her place. Clarke's breaths were coming out in a short gasp as Lexa kissed down her chest. Lexa already opened her shirt and had started to work at removing her bra.  
  
Clarke for her part after the awful news this morning let herself open up to Lexa’s way of asking for forgiveness, even if it wasn’t necessary. Clarke didn't ask this time if she was sure about making love and Lexa was currently showing her that indeed she was back to herself.  
  
Lexa made short work of her pants and boots and looked up from where she knelt, her face mere inches of where Clarke wanted her to be. She stood up instead and pressed her body against her and began kissing her. Moving her hands over her body making Clarke’s legs weak and slowly slipped a finger inside of her taking her breath away.  
  
Clarke moaned against her lips, “Bed. Now. Please,” Lexa pulled out her finger just to the edge and slowed walked her back to the bed. Clarke’s knees hit the back of the mattress, and Lexa pushed her the rest of the way back and went to her knees. She quickly had Clarke's legs over her shoulders and parted her folds and suck her into her mouth. Clarke’s head hit the back of the bed with a thud. "Oh, damn."

~

Lexa desire for Clarke shot up after the kiss at the bridge. It grew at the base of spine and wrapped around her loins. That desire to bring Clarke to orgasm over and over until she was nothing but a pool of satisfaction on the bed. Lexa intended to show Clarke in as many ways as could imagine what she meant to her. She also wanted to be forgiven for running away from Clarke, and she hoped that this was one way that conveys that very thing.  
  
She licked into Clarke, and her loss hit her again. Sinking in that deep well of sadness over the death of her mother making Lexa gasps at the emotion welling up. Lexa pulled back and laid her head against Clarke's leg, and her tears began to fall out of her control.  
   
"Clarke..."  
  
“Oh, Lexa please it’s okay come here.” Clarke reached down and pulled her up onto the bed.  
  
Lexa tears kept coming as Clarke held for long minutes, rubbing her back trying to soothe the pain, over how she treated her earlier.  
  
“I’m so sorry Clarke, you didn’t deserve that,” She said in her tearful confession.  
  
“Shhh, it’s okay, we're okay honey I promise you. How can I make you believe me?” Lexa looked at her with tears streaming down her face. “Listen, let’s just slow this down for a bit. I do want to be with you, but we’ve got time. We’ve got the rest of our lives. Just take a deep breath and lie down and rest. I’ll be right back.”  
  
Clarke got up from the bed and put on her top back on. She stoked the fire again bringing it to a blaze. It was late in the afternoon, and they hadn’t eaten lunch and went to the kitchen to make a couple of sandwiches and drinks and brought everything over to the bed. Spreading a tablecloth over the bed and laid out the meal.

~

It was going on six, and they were under the covers, laying naked in each other arms listening to the rain hit the window. They talked for hours after lunch. Laughing and crying over memories they shared over the past nine years. Their clothes came off after the rain started. Now the only other sound was the quiet crackling of the fire with their warm nest surrounding them.  
  
“Did we just have our first fight?” Lexa finally asked.  
  
“I wouldn’t call it a fight, maybe just a misunderstanding.”  
  
“I was wondering because don’t you have to make up sex after? I think it’s a rule or something,” Lexa teased.  
  
Clarke laughed and looked over at her sincere face how could she refuse. “If it were up to me we would have, Sorry I was late, sex or we’re out of milk, sex.”  
  
“How about I accidentally shrunk your favorite shirt, sex.”  
  
Clarke blinked thoughtfully at Lexa. “I like...I love you, sex.” Then moved to connect the length of their bodies, her lips running softly over Lexa’s parting mouth and licking inside. Lexa’s hand reflexively held her in place and ran her short nails up and down her back. Clarke arched her back raising over Lexa with half opened green eyes gone dark and glazed over with lust. Lexa desired her. Clarke could feel it every cell in her body. It had only been a day, and their lives grew richer and changed. A new facet between them opened up all kinds of possibilities. Clarke’s heart beat hard in her chest. It was a powerful moment and felt her body reconnecting with Lexa, wanting to open up and give her everything she was. Lexa hugged Clarke tight to her body pulling her in and shifting her legs apart, silently offering herself to her as she cupped her backside and pulled her tighter to her sex, their mouths connecting again as Clarke rocked into Lexa.  
  
Clarke kisses were gentle yet affirming. Conveying everything she felt as they brush against Lexa. She wanted to take this slow, placing each kiss carefully on her neck, the outside of her ear, along with the edge of her jaw. Slowly working her way to the other side and matching each kiss as she made, making her way across her body. Her tongue joined in and licked down the center of her neck down to her navel dipping her tongue in slightly eliciting a tiny laugh from Lexa.  
  
Clarke looked up, and into her eyes, she spoke her devotion like fealty. “I promise all my love to you with all of me, Lexa.”

~

Lexa’s heart raced hearing the affection in her words. This morning was forgotten. Clarke loves her in this place at this time, and she wanted for nothing more. Clarke ran her lips on the underside of her breast and sucked gently, moving to match the other side.  
  
Lexa let her mind drift at the careful way Clarke touched her. She didn’t want to think of anything that wasn’t inside this room but of Clarke and her mouth and the sensual way she was caressing her body.  
  
Lexa held Clarke's hand as she hovered over her breast and slowly ran her tongue under around her nipple and finally pulled her into her mouth. Lexa hissed, and Clarke pulled back, blinking her eyes as she kissed the tip, tasting it and then closing her lips around them and sucked on her till she grew hard. Lexa's sex twitched, and she bucked up into Clarke's stomach. Clarke chuckled and swirled her tongue around several more times. Lexa’s hips rocked up again into Clarke’s center craving more contact.  
  
Lexa's eyes followed Clarke as she laid down in her memory each detail she painted with her mouth and tongue. Words were dancing into her mind of the skillful way she moved over her. The poet in her writing the pictures she was feeling deep in her skin. Clarke’s lips were growing flush against her body as she drew on her skin with kisses.  
  
Clarke moved lower kissing along her hips and running her tongue to match the other side. She moved lower still, and she kissed inside of her thighs starting at her knees, cupping her hand under her leg and pulling it tight to her face when she kissed and roamed down to her center. Brushing past it and completing the dance with her mouth.  
  
Lexa started to pant with anticipation. Each caress and lick sparked against her skin until she was on fire. Clarke was close to her center and surely wouldn’t stop now when she was so near. Clarke looked up at Lexa their eyes met, and she let out a small whine when Clarke enter her sex with her tongue. It was more intense than the night before, and she was more open and wet as Clarke’s licked deep inside of her.

~

Lexa warm, sensual smell made Clarke’s sex throb, but she pushed her own needs aside knowing this moment was for Lexa alone. Going slow over her body had affected Clarke and made her movements clear. Desire spread, as her tongue reached inside of her. Clarke needed to feel more and licked a path to her clit and pulled it into her mouth, running her tongue over and then entering with her fingers. Lexa arched her back as her fingers found a sensitive spot that made Lexa buck up into Clarke’s mouth. Continuing to move her tongue over her sex and she felt the bud her in mouth grow firmer, and her tongue darted faster. The moment of her climax charging through her as her fingers were squeezed and pulled deeper inside. Clarke started to feel a burn along her arm but worked through her discomfort, Lexa was too near to her climax to stop now. Bearing down a little bit more and sensed the waves of Lexa’s climax start, and the throbbing of her sex in her mouth rocked Clarke’s mind. Lexa’s hips jerked up, and she pressed her feet into the bed, her back arching into her release until Lexa cried out her name over and over and her body finally settled down on the bed and continued to twitch along her length.  
  
“Clarke now did you...wow.” Lexa breathed out. Her body was slick with sweat as Clarke put her head on her belly her arms curled around her legs, contented to stay in the comfort of her warm legs. When Lexa came down to earth, her hand reached down and ran her fingers through Clarke’s damp locks at the base of her neck, pulling it away from the heat that was coming off of her body. Clarke crawled back up her body and fell against her side, the long day finally taking a toll on her. They laid there in the quiet with just the occasional pops from the fireplace filling the room. Lexa mind drifted in the moment of bliss, contended that their hearts were still connected.

~

Lexa still searched for the words of how to feel about her mother and hopefully move on from this chapter of her life. In the quiet of this room, she needed to share her thoughts. “My life feels incomplete, now that I've lost both of my parents,” Lexa concluded, not expecting an answer from Clarke.  
  
Clarke laid in her arms, running her hand along Lexa’s arm and intertwining their fingers. “It’s all about perception I think.” Pulling her hand up to kiss Lexa’s palm. “How we view the world spinning around us, like when I draw a picture I’ve seen in my head.” Clarke looked up at her. “It a feeling that invokes a deep sensation that stirs some unknown thing in me. It’s a sweet ache that I nurture, giving it life, a story and a name that is real to me and the image sits on the edge of my mind wanting to show itself. It will nudge itself to grow and eventually it will push it’s way out of me, coming out of my head into my hand and onto the paper. The question I ask myself, will the viewer see what I drew with the same clarity as I saw in my head? The answer could be guided by their perception of everything that has ever happened to them in their lives.”  
  
Clarke moved to rest her head on her hand and continued. “When you write me poetry, it’s different, but the same, in your words, they color a feeling deep inside of me that touches places in me that I didn’t know was there. You paint pictures with your words that give my life meaning and it sits in my soul, and I protect it because you gave life to it, as you give life to me. This perception is what I know, that I have you now, in this life, and if life is unpredictable then so be it.”  
  
“I know I allowed myself to fall into despair today, and it made me afraid of our mortality, and think about if we were to die tomorrow Clarke?”  
  
She pulled Lexa’s hand to her lips turning it over and kissed her palm again and laying it on her breast. “Then love me like it’s our last day on earth.”  
  
Lexa blinked her eyes, and her tears spilled down her cheek at the love she felt coming from Clarke. All the doubt that had filled her head this morning had dissipated. Now replaced by the devotion, she felt in her heart for Clarke as a living breathing thing.  
  
Her lips found Clarke, and she pulled her to lay on top of her and then rolled her over to her side. She let her hand drift to her face and down to her waist and between her legs. There was no hesitation in her movements as she guided her hand between her legs and cupped her gently. Clarke’s eyes close for a moment feeling the sensation her warm hand touching her, protecting her.  
  
When she opened them, Lexa’s eyes were darting from her mouth to her eyes, and she felt the passion flowing out of her, and she pulled her in and kissed her deeply. Lexa’s hand moved from her center and pushed her over, crawling down over her body and straight to her open legs.  
  
Her warm tongue entered her, and Clarke arched her back into the sensation. Lexa began to lick at her center deep and then let it drift to her clit taking Clarke into her mouth and pushing her fingers deep inside of her. She quickly found the swollen patch and pushed against and sucked at her sex. The rhythm that Lexa was setting ground her to this spot, her hips matching her thrusting fingers inside her and she let her mind drift and into the passion of falling deeper in love with Lexa wash over her. Her climax made her hips buck up into Lexa’s face, and she held her down and pushed harder, and Clarke cried out her name.

Lexa slowed her pace and removed her fingers and continued to kiss her center and then slowly made her way back to her arms and her lips found hers again. They made love late into the night never wanting to stop.  
  
The awareness of their love that had built over their lifetime was allowed to come out to play. It was a joyful meeting of two souls, binding them together forever. Cherishing the time that was given to them out of all the possibilities. They had found each other in this life, at this time. This was what heaven on earth was like for these two souls who were deeply in love.


	12. Chapter 12

Lexa slept little the night before and rose with the sun the next morning. She decided sometime over the hours she laid awake that after watching Clarke for weeks that this morning she would break her silence. To come out the shadows and face Clarke on her terms. She owed Clarke an explanation, an apology if she could except it from her. Knowing that the sky girl owed her nothing; she would offer her a place to live, away from her in a safe area and live out her life if she so chooses never to see her again.

Clarke stayed at her camp, although this morning she wandered into the forest, and they began to search for her. And it was Lexa who spotted her at the edge of a cliff, and it seemed from Lexa's vantage point that Clarke gave up. She was sitting too close to the overhang on the cliff and let her legs dangled dangerously over the side. Lexa started to bolt towards her to pull her to safety when Octavia grabbed her arm holding her back.

"No, Commander. Let me speak with her first."

Lexa looked back to read Octavia insistence, then agreed, "Very well, Octavia."

~

Octavia moved just to the right of Clarke's field of vision giving her a little time to adjust to her presence and squatted down slowly and remained there for a moment. Clarke casually turned to see her and smiled briefly and then glanced back over the vista. Octavia took the invitation and sat down next to her and hung her legs over the cliff copying Clarke.

Clarke was the first to break the silence. She spoke slowly and with purpose keeping her eyes focus on the view, “Did you ever think about everything that had to happen to bring us to this single moment on this day in this place?”

Octavia’s mouth hung slightly open at the question. “…um what?”

“It was just a thought I had when I sat down to look out. But think about it Octavia.” Clarke spread her arms out. “We wind up here in this beautiful pristine place, after everything that has ever happened and we're here, at this moment, alive.”

Octavia looked out over the forest and shook her head. “Well, not really. I’m not quite sure what you’re trying to say, Clarke,” and paused seemly to search for the right words. “I understand that a lot has happened to you, to all of us. I know you have been overwhelmed after Mount Weather fell. You’ve been in overdrive, and you needed a break from all of this. From all of us. I get that.”

“Yeah, I did.” Relieved that now she can share with someone why she left. “I just couldn’t face our people anymore. It hurt too much, and I just needed to...run. To get away and figure out where I went wrong."

Octavia reached over to clasp Clarke on her shoulder, squeezing it. "You didn't do anything wrong, Clarke."

"Everyone must hate me for leaving."

"Screw them. They'll get over it, or I'll kick their butts." Then mussed up Clarke's hair. The black cub stood up and nudged Octavia hand away when she touched Clarke, and she patted her on her head. “Who’s this?”

“Her name is Star. I found her a couple of weeks ago after her mother saved her from a big cat. Her mother didn’t make it, and I couldn’t leave her by herself. Star is probably not more than a couple of months old.” Clarke reached over to pet her as the cub was now laying completely on Octavia's lap. “She’s been keeping me company."

“I can see that.” Octavia looks back briefly over her shoulder then back to Clarke and quietly tells her, “Lexa is here, Clarke.”

Clarke didn’t react. “I figured. You’ve been tracking me?”

“Yeah, we’ve been following you since you left Camp Jaha. Lexa didn’t want to lose you or to see you get hurt out here all alone."

Clarke winced at that remark and closed her eyes.

“You left me the knife also?”

“Yeah, Lexa…” Octavia stopped talking when Clarke looked down, clearly still hurting.

“Octavia, could you ask Lexa to come here?”

“Yeah sure.” Octavia handed Star back over to Clarke and quickly stood up, turning to leave. Clarke stopped Octavia by her pant leg.

“Could you take Star with you, she hasn’t eaten today.”

“No problem.” Octavia scooped the cub up in her arms as Clarke reached up to scratch behind her ears and Star grabbed her fingers mouthing them.

“Could you give her some water too and play with her?”

Octavia glanced down and smiled at her. “Clarke, your stalling.”

Clarke looked over the cliff again and sighed, “Yeah, your right. Tell Lexa I’ll be waiting for her.”

Clarke continued to watch as Octavia made her way down the path with Star gripped against her chest while the cub scrambled to look over her shoulder back her with her tongue wagging.

In the few moments of quiet, Clarke prepared what she needed to say to Lexa, having these conversations repeatedly with herself. Rehashing the events, the what if’s or what should have happened. Nothing sounded right in her head.

It was not too long when she heard Lexa's boots crunching against the forest litter approaching her from behind and sat down beside her. Clarke didn't move or turn her head to look at her. Not yet.

They sat there in this calming quiet letting the soft breeze move between them. Neither one was sure of what to say or where to begin.

“I’m sorry…”

“You left me.”

Lexa stopped talking. It wasn’t her place. This time was for Clarke. Seeing Clarke had tears catching in the corners of her eye and Lexa froze. Not sure what to do next. Wanting to leave again knowing she couldn’t, not this time. She needed to fix this and knew there wouldn't be a second chance.

After a few moments, Clarke placed her palm down next to Lexa, coming within inches of her hand.

“I needed you, and you just left, _you left me_.” Her next breath, Clarke was holding back a sob and straightened her back. “If you had it to do all again, would you make the same choice?”

With it finally out in the open Lexa hoped this is the chance Clarke was offering her. A possible way to fix what she had destroyed. It was an easy answer. “No Clarke, I should have never left. _Left you_.” Lexa faced Clarke. “It was a mistake to leave you with the choices that you had to make. I should have made them for you. You shouldn’t have to carry that burden of what was _my_ responsibility. More than that I betrayed our alliance and made a foolish agreement with our enemy. It was a mistake; I had other choices.”

This next part she hesitated to say. It would be laying her heart on the ground as an offering to Clarke if she were to say, _I will not make that mistake again if you give me a chance._ Keeping those words as only prayers to Keryon to hear.

Clarke shut her eyes and listened, contemplating each carefully spoken word. It surprised her that Lexa understood what she had done and how she had hurt her. Finally opening up her eyes and slowly turning to look at Lexa for the first time in over a month. “I believe you.” Clarke looked back over the vista. “I wouldn’t have a few weeks ago. This time alone for me in this forest made me think about what our lives are for, what is our purpose and I guess it’s not just always about what we want. I suppose that stopping the mountain men the way I did was probably the only choice I had. In a way, they gave us no option. The killings had to stop. I had to free my friends." Clarke gazed back at Lexa. "And I do understand your responsibility to your people.”

Clarke looked directly into Lexa's eyes and took a chance and poured her heart out to her. “There is this longing, a determination inside of me...in all of us that wants to survive. I didn't know that it would mean taking lives of those that threaten our very existence.” Clarke sniffed and waited a moment to let the words sink in. Words she needed to hear herself. To finally _believe_ in herself. “I think what changed for me was when I found the wolf cub. I didn’t understand it at the time. Her mother was fighting off a visibly larger animal, but she didn’t give up and was able to kill the cat. Even though she lost her life, her cub survives.”

Clarke's tears were freely falling now. “I want to survive too, Lexa.”

Lexa couldn't speak. Clarke's words touched something deep inside of her, something she felt as strongly as the sky girl. Now looking in the face of the girl that she betrayed, she sees her. She sees Clarke. The once trusting girl from the sky. A girl who wanted peace, the girl who her people were now calling _Wanheda, Commander of Death_. The girl who might forgive her.

Lexa timidly put her little finger over Clarke's outstretch one and kept it there when Clarke didn’t object and felt her linked them together.

Lexa succeeded keeping any tears from falling at this tiny gesture. Grateful now that Clarke cracked a door open for her, hopefully wanting her to step in. Back to what she offered before. A new trust she knows that she still needs to earn.

~

Lexa showed Clarke to her camp just as the sun was high overhead and spots out of the corner of her eye a quickly running object and immediately reaches for her knife at her waist.

“Wait!” Clarke halts Lexa with her hand on arm stopping her motions when the small black object rams into her legs and sits down suddenly.

Lexa smirks at the animal and reaches down to pick up the black cub by the nape of her neck and brings their eyes on level. Star blinks at her sweetly, and Lexa turns to gaze into Clarke's face. “She has your eyes, Clarke.” Lexa gently hands the cub over as Clarke lets out a genuine laugh. “Will you speak with me, Clarke?”

“Sure. Give me a minute. I just got a friend that I need to thank.”

Star wiggles out of her arms, going for the stick as Clarke quickly snatches up away from her and throws it back towards camp and sees Octavia coming towards her and stops without any words pulls her into a hug.

Octavia is surprised but doesn’t pull away and brings her arms up and returns the hug. “I’m glad you found your way back Clarke, I’ve missed you, we all have. I think even Indra did too.” Octavia indicated by pointing with her chin towards the sulking warrior. Indra shakes her head and continues to sharpen her blade. She’s not a touchy-feely type but nods her head in her direction, and Clarke does the same. Their quiet meaning clear. They have a truce.

Octavia points out Lexa’s tent, and Clarke walks to just the outside of the tent, not having a door to knock on she clears her throat and hears Lexa speak in a quiet voice to enter.

Lexa is standing near a small table between two cots and just poured herself a drink, then fills the second one and offers it to Clarke. “This is souda, a fermented drink made from berries. It has a pleasant taste. I hope you will like Clarke.”

Clarke took a sip. "Hmm, I’ve had something like this before, but not this sweet. My friend Monty made something similar to this.” She took another drink and felt the familiar warmth go down her throat. “This this is much better.” Its taste reminded her something sweet. Certainly, like the fruit, it made out of, but something else containing more flavors. If she could have described it, she would have said it held layers of the sweet berries, fragrant flowers and time.

“Would you like to have a seat, Clarke?” She pointed to the empty bed across from hers.

Clarke sat and took in the sparse surroundings, except for the small table between the two beds at the end of the tent; it didn’t have much else in it, except for her clothing and gear and the stoic Commander. That fierce, angry warrior she met months ago and pleaded for her help. Now there was a sense of grief carried in her manners. Clarke couldn’t take her eyes off of Lexa. It didn't look like she had gotten much sleep in the past month. The usually sharp Commander looked worn out. But, there was something else she could sense from Lexa, a sort of sadness under her station as the leader of the twelve clans.

Lexa lifted her chin and began, “Clarke kom Skaikru, our first meeting started in turmoil, and with much work, we were able to broker peace between our people, and we began a journey together.” Lexa stopped and reflected, seemingly to search for the right words to say. “Sometimes in our journeys, we may take a wrong path and our progress becomes blocked and full of obstacles. If we do not see our mistake, we continue apart from the correct path that was offered, and we lose our way. I lost my way when I failed you, Clarke, and took another path. I regret my actions and for hurting you. I would like to find that path again if you are willing and continue this journey with you. If you choose to go your own way, I will help find you a suitable place to live, and I will keep you protected, and you will never have to see me again."

Clarke did not expect Lexa to speak so clearly, directly to the exact promise she broke with her; taking the blame on her shoulders, effectively showing her cards.  
  
“I know that was hard for you to say, Lexa.” Clarke put up her hand when Lexa start to object. “Journeys can be difficult even when your way is clear. Sometimes the path itself holds in it the lessons we are supposed to learn."

Relieved at her words Lexa continued, “You’re right, our path on our journey helps us to learn and find the way even when everything seems to be pulling us in other directions.”

Clarke bit her lower lip now having the choice she stood up and walked to the opening of the tent and took another drink. Could she ever trust Lexa again? She looked out into the forest thinking of the home near the waterfall. It was her place made from her own hands. It also was lonely and who knows how long before someone tripped across this place and she would have no way of protecting herself. But the person sitting behind her, this young leader was asking to take a chance with her again. Clarke made her decision and turned around and said, “I’m glad we found the same path again Lexa.”

With those few words caused relief to come pouring from Lexa, and her hand began to shake almost spilling her drink. “Lexa are you okay?” Clarke moved to her side, but Lexa stood up and placed the mug on the table.

“Yes, I just wasn’t expecting you to forgive me. I wasn’t expecting that at all.”

Clarke reached over gently and placed it on her arm and guided her back to the cot and sat next to her. “Lexa we will begin again, but you know this just isn’t about me. My people will want answers, and it may be difficult to bring both our groups together, many will have doubts about an alliance with your people again." Lexa nodded, sensing disappointment at her words. "But, listen not all is lost. I have hope that together we can show that if _I_ can forgive you and move forward on this path that we are forging, maybe our people will go with us.”

“I understand Clarke kom Skaikru. I am grateful to share this new journey together with you.” Lexa stood up, her face reflecting new energy. “You must be hungry. We have prepared a meal for you.”

Clarke stopped Lexa before she could leave, sort of annoyed that she still had her walls up. “It’s just Clarke.”

“Of course, Clarke."

~

Clarke followed her out and joined Indra and Octavia around a smoking fire. Octavia dipped a ladle into a steaming stew pot of some incredible smelling meats and placed into a bowl and handed it over to Clarke with some tous, grounder bread. Clarke dipped the bread in the stew and took a bite, and closed her eyes. The sound that came out of her mouth even made Indra smile.

“Oh my, what is this?” Clarke asked covering a mouth full of food.

“Just some wild game and vegetables that grow near here,” Octavia said. "I take it you like it."

Clarke didn’t answer with words how much she enjoyed it but showed how by devouring the meal. Star sat patiently by Clarke and looked up at her with hopeful eyes.

“Star has eaten already Clarke, but I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if you shared if you haven't already licked the bowl clean,” Octavia joked. Indra joined in, and their laughs carried into the treetops. Lexa quietly ate and watched each of them; hearing the laughter and familiarness that Clarke invoked out her people. She had a calming effect that before today she hadn’t recognized.

After their meal, Lexa and Clarke filled their mugs with more of the sweet souda, and they took a stroll through the forest.

“Your camp is over there.” Lexa pointed toward a small hill to the west.

“You watched me then?”

“Yes, I’m sorry but a few weeks past a pauna hunted near you, and we had to lead it away before Octavia was able to kill the animal…”

Clarke stopped Lexa and turned her around. “She what?”

Lexa beamed. “Octavia is a brave warrior, and she killed the pauna with only a knife. My warrior, Indra has trained her well. She has the courage more than her stature, and it has been an honor that she has shared her bravery with us. As I was saying, we wanted to keep you safe.”

There was something that Lexa didn’t say. She was sure that Indra could have cared less about her welfare and with the falling out that she had with Octavia earlier in the year she wasn’t sure that she could have persuaded Lexa to follow her. It had been Lexa and her concern for her welfare; she left her people to watch over her these past weeks. Even being Trikru, this had probably been miserable for her.

Clarke couldn’t stay silent, _“We?_ ”

Lexa stopped and was caught with her own words. “ _I_ wanted to keep you safe.” Clarke grinned at her admission. “Do you want to go back to your camp Clarke? We have room here if you would like to stay. It would be warmer at night and safer.”

“I do like it here, and I’d like to be around people again.”

Lexa played back with her. “Just _people_ Clarke?”

 _Touché._ Clarke smiled back at her but didn’t answer.

They continued wandering till the sun was nearly setting, and Clarke couldn’t remember a time before when her heart felt so light. With the playful talk earlier and Lexa warm presences whenever Clarke would point out interesting fauna. Lexa was patient with her and Clarke genuinely enjoyed her company. She almost forgot how angry and hurt she had been with her on the mountain. Time is what they needed. Time to heal and learn from each other.

Lexa guided her back to their camp and to her quarters. “You can sleep here if you want. The covering will keep you warm as will these furs. Star pushed past Clarke and jumped on a cot and turned around a few times and plopped down hard making a small grunt.

“I guess that answers that question, for Star and me, I accept your offer.”

“We have a small area away from the camp if you need to relieve yourself. Everything you need is there.” With that Lexa left the tent to give Clarke time to adjust to her space.

Clarke started to remove her coat. The day had produced so much change she needed to process what happened, and she really just wanted to lay down, but the mention of relieving oneself she couldn't ignore. Clarke pulled her coat and weapons back on and left the tent. Star picked her head up for a moment watching then put it back down and closed her blue eyes.

~

The first thing Clarke noticed the next morning was the coolness over the top of her right shoulder and arm. The rest of her body still under the fur was deliriously warm, a feeling she hadn’t felt waking up in the morning for a long time. Clarke became aware that she was naked under the fur, and must have removed her top sometime during the night but didn’t recall undressing. Clarke laid facing Lexa, and it was the quiet, soft sound of growling catching her ears that caused her to opened her eyes slightly to peer at the noise.

Through the dim light, her eyes fell on Star laying on her back next to Lexa who had one hand supporting her head. Star had all four legs up in the air, and Lexa was rubbing her hand slowly up and down the cub’s belly causing Star to try to reach with her mouth each time Lexa's hand got to close. Clarke blinked a few times a little surprised seeing Lexa’s playing with her cub.

Indra called from outside of their tent whispering her name, and Lexa stopped playing with Star. “One moment.”

Clarke watched as the Lexa sat up and let the fur drop around her waist as she moved the cub to the foot of the bed and stood up, completely naked.

Clarke couldn't take her eyes off her until Lexa looked in her direction then slammed her eyes shut, hoping she didn't catch her staring. A jolt of lust hit her squarely between her legs and her back arch and rolled with the urge until she pushed back and as it eased, she slowly opened her eyes and saw Lexa standing staring back at her, half-dressed and was working on her pants.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“What..um…you didn’t I…” Clarke stammered to a stop. That’s not what she meant to say at all, and she sounded like a stumbling idiot. She cleared her throat. “Sorry, I’m still a bit sleepy. I’ll be up in a minute.”

Clarke watched Lexa finish dressing as she sat down on the cot to put her boots on, her hair was hanging free and didn’t have her traditional braids. Clarke could see how soft it looked as the sun started to pour into the tent. It showed that there were lighter colors within as the light passed through her curls. She hadn’t noticed the difference before as the growing sun cast its rays across Lexa and it took her breath away. How soft Lexa looked earlier and now how regal. Lexa presented a contrast not easily dismissed. Now standing and hooking her weapons to her hips, she stepped out of the tent and Clarke fell heavily onto her back.

Clarke put her hand over closed her eyes, recalling Lexa standing naked not two feet from her. She swallowed and moved her hand to her belly and slowly moved her hand to rest on undershorts and then moved her fingers beneath to her short curls. A need surge through her. Tempting her to drag her hand down further but she resisted. Although it would relieve the desire that had made itself known, she didn’t want to pursue, not here. The slow ache made her feel alive, more alive than she had felt in weeks. Clarke smiled sarcastically at her restraint and got up to start the day.

~

Lexa approached Indra waiting for her. “Heda, a rider, Lincoln came in this morning.”

“Where is he?”

Before Indra could respond, Lincoln walk up and nodded to the Commander and handed her a message. “Thank you, Lincoln.”

"You're welcome, Heda."

Lexa scanned the letter, and to her relief, her clan nearest to the sky people were keeping their distance. The fear of Wanheda, and of the power she held had deterred them for pursuing a war with them for now, and it seemed a truce was possible, as long as the sky people were not aggressive towards her people. Even without Lexa’s presence for the past weeks away, her clan was loyal to her, and her pride in them would not go unrewarded.

Lexa looked up at the sky and breathed out a relieved sigh. Her next step was to talk to Clarke about her plans, hoping she could persuade her to make her way back to her people and continue on their offer for peace, and to the path that Clarke and tried so hard to achieve before the mountain fell. Lexa knew she may still need time and would give it to her, but this peace may not last. A word out of place or an aggressive push from a sky person and it would spin the chance for peace out of their reach.

Clarke approached her with Star trailing at her feet. As she stopped, Lexa smiled and looked down at the cub. “I had a visitor this morning.”

Clarke opened her mouth to respond but shut it. Not wanting to reveal she saw her earlier. “I hope Star didn’t bother you."

“Not at all, it has been a long time since I have seen a tame wolf cub. Her named suits her. Clarke, I got word from my people this morning that the truce is holding with your people, but I’m not sure how long it can last.”

“I guess you ready to leave this place?”

“I am not going to rush you, Clarke. I just wanted to make you aware. We will leave when you are ready.”

“I would like to spend more time with you, Lexa. Do you think that we could spend the day just to talk about our plans, then head back?”

“Of course, if you like, I’ll send Indra and Octavia to deliver a message to your people that we will return soon. Would that be okay with you?”

"Yes, my mom is probably pretty worried about me."

“I will send them off when you finish. We’re going to break camp, and if you like, we could go back to your home and spend the day talking, as you asked.”

~

Clarke's letter was simple. Only saying that she was well and safe and would be returning with the promise of peace. Clarke wondered how much more to share. Say just enough, and it could hold her mother until she returned. Tell her too much, and she might worry even more. Clarke decided to wait and share her stories when she got back.

Lexa was waiting for her while Octavia and Indra and started to break down the camp. The fire was out, and the rocks that had been surrounding it were moved away into the brush. Lexa wanted to leave no trace that they had been there even it was their land. Her tent came down and packed along with her gear and tied down on the back of Lexa’s horse.

“I’ll see you soon Octavia. Could you tell them I’m okay and Lexa and I will travel back to Camp Jaha in a few days? Hell, I'm not sure how far I walked. Do you know how long it takes to get back?”

“It’s about a three-day ride, but on foot probably a week at least,” Octavia told her. “Do you want me to take Star?”

“No, she’s fine with me. I would miss her too much.”

Octavia reached down and picked her up holding her under her bottom. Star reached over a licked her nose. “I’m going to miss you, Little Buddy.” Star continued to lick her all over her face, and Octavia had to hold away from her body. “Whoa, I guess you are going to miss me too. Take good care of her. Everybody is going to fall in love with her Clarke.”

Clarke hugged Octavia. “Safe journey. Give the message to my mom first.”

“You got it, see you soon.”

Clarke yelled back to Octavia. “Wait, do you want your knife back?”

“Keep it. I’m already carrying three knives and a sword.”

Clarke laughed at that. Of course, she would be armed to the teeth.

~

Lexa guided her horse down the path that brought them to Clarke’s camp, and she was surprised that it took less than twenty minutes travel. “I didn’t know you were that close. How come I didn’t smell your fire?”

“We were upwind from you, through these trees the winds blow east.”

Lexa unpacked her horse, and Clarke helped her set up the tent and arrange their gear in an orderly manner she thought Lexa would approve. She didn’t have a clue, but as Lexa was tidy person everything she had was simple and had its purpose. No waste, just efficiency in its simplicity. That was the way of the Ark in space. No area wasted, and everything had value.

They didn’t speak on any deep subjects for the first few hours. They simply enjoyed each others company. It did still feel strange to Clarke that only after a few weeks she would be sitting with Lexa on her outcropping staring at the waterfall eating lunch like any normal person would have done.

“I saw you spear a fish a few days ago. How you were able to attract it?”

Clarke remembered her silly scheme. “Flower petals. The idea came to me when I saw an insect sitting on pretty one down by the edge of the pond, and I thought it would be light enough to float on the water, and I hoped it would lure it to the surface. It was a shock it worked at all. I was tired of the dried meat from the cat.” Clarke stopped. “Wait you saw that?”

Pride showed in Lexa's face. “I did. It was a clever trick. I could feel your joy from where I watched, but I’m sorry I invaded your privacy, Clarke.”

“No, don’t be. I’m glad you saw. I don’t think anyone would have believed me."

Lexa kept the tone light. “One late night I was feeling the road, and the forest heavy upon me, and I have not had a decent bath, and I came down here and used your pond to bathe. I hope you do not mind.”

Clarke was a bit surprised she didn’t hear her, but as she was learning from Lexa, nothing should shock her. “You would happen to have any more soap?”

Another door opened for Lexa. “I have plenty. Do you want to take a bath, Clarke?”

“I would, it’s hard to get your hair clean with plain water, and the rest of me could use it as well.”

Without another word Lexa stood and went to retrieve the soap. Clarke sat there a little stunned at how fast she moved. I _’ve been on the road awhile I guess I do smell._ The thought of washing with soap was making her giddy, she followed Lexa back to camp and ducked into the tent and removed her clothes. Star trailed her into the tent and jumped onto her cot laid down on her clothes on the bed. She smelled at them and looked back up at her. “You’re sleepy.” Clarke could tell she was tired, rubbing her ears the cub yawn and laid down, tucking her face into Clarke’s shirt.

Clarke gazed towards the water through the trees and just caught Lexa stripping at the beach and dove into the water coming up near the middle of the pond. Clarke pulled her fur up to cover herself as she approached the beach. Lexa was lazily treading water with droplets rolling down her face making her eyelashes glint in the sun as she watched Clarke neared the sandy shore.

Clarke wasn't as brave as Lexa and was way too shy to drop her covering with her watching. Lexa must have sensed her discomfort and turned away, leaping up like a fish in the water and dove under, her wet backside making its appearance, and she swam towards the waterfall.

 _That little..._ Clarke thought two could play this game and waited for Lexa to turn around. When she did, again with that lazy grin on her face, Clarke dropped the fur. Lexa’s mouth hung open as her eyes ran up and down her body. _Gotcha!_ Clarke lifted her chin with pride and walked into the water then swam over to her.

Lexa was not expecting to see Clarke naked, well maybe she was, but this was - a thousand thoughts crash all at once into her mind. Clarke was beautiful, stunning, breathtaking; people should write songs and stories depicting her countenance. Men and woman would weep at her beauty, crops that had been barren would grow heavy with their bounty; just to see the swell of her hips the grace of shoulders as her hair fell over her breasts. Her breasts. Her breasts were now mere feet away from her. Clarke stopped in front of her, and Lexa’s eyes hadn’t moved an inch from the view.

“Wow, did I lose back there." Pleased that she had this effect on her. Clarke smiled having won this test of wills. Lexa’s face turning a shade of red all the way to the tips of her ears. Lexa didn’t say a word, and walked into the waterfall and stood for a moment, then reached her arm back and handed her the soap.

Clarke twirled around to wet down and washed her hair. Lexa still had her back turned to her making Clarke bite down her lip watching her trying to make a decision. A second more and Lexa swam away to another part of the pond.

Clarke giggled to herself and sniffed the bar of soap. Enjoying its scent of the woods and hint of floral. Clarke recalled how much it smelled like Lexa, eyeing the girl keeping her distance. Soap was rare on the Ark and now, here on earth all these new pleasures, you couldn’t put a price on any of this.

The further Lexa swam away from Clarke she could sense her control returning. The truth was even with her distraction, Lexa enjoyed the water. Lexa remembered spending long hot summer’s bathing in clear fresh water after her clan had been hunting and needed to refresh after a kill or after a battle to wash the sins off her skin. At her home in Polis, she had basins, so large that two could fit inside and bathe. A fleeting thought tried to take root in her mind of Clarke and her sharing a bath.

As her mind wandered, she spotted a swarm of bees flying in and out of the hole in a knot in a tree overhead. Near to the opening hung long sturdy vines. She smiled at this find and from experience, of finding sweet nectar hidden inside their hive collected by thousands of trips these little creatures had made. Her mouth water and she planned how to retrieve this delight.

Lexa swam to the vine that was nearest to the hole and tested its strength. She had the freedom of climbing the vine, and if she fell, the water would cushion her fall. The second one she tested held firmer, and she began to ascend. Hand over hand, then using her legs to shimmy up the vine.

Clarke finished washing the soap from her eyes when she spotted a very naked Lexa scaling a vine in the middle of the pond. She swam over and quickly toss the soap onto the fur laying on the shore and then over to the vine moving in the water as Lexa approached the humming from overhead. Clarke grabbed at the vine to steady her, and as she neared the hive, Lexa looked down and gave her a lazy smile. Clarke swallowed hard as she stared up at the view. She couldn't let go, and she couldn't look away at her firm ass, and strong legs and the tiny patch of dark curls cover her sex. Lexa had won this one when her mouth began to water.

Lexa carefully put her hand into the hive and reached inside trying not to disturb the bees working and pluck a chunk of beehive coated with sweet honey.

Clarke had no idea what she was up to but held on. She was surprised to see what the hole held. In Lexa’s hand was a part of the hive and it was dripping an amber liquid. Lexa gently shook off any bees still clinging to her prize.

“Hold out your hands.”

Clarke stood back and held them open, and Lexa released her find. Clarke caught it easily and looked back up as Lexa was cleaning her fingers off and was softly humming.

 _Okay, that was really hot._ Clarke wondered if it was possible to sweat while you are standing in cool water.

Lexa swung away from the hive, and without any hesitation, she jumped away from the vine and splashed down a few feet away from her. Clarke waited till she came up and Lexa swam over to her. The amber liquid began slowly warmed by her cupped hands as honey came out of the comb and pooled in her hands.

Lexa dipped her finger in the palm of Clarke’s hand and presented it to her mouth. “Taste.”

Clarke wrapped her lips around Lexa honey covered finger never looking away and out of reflex closed her eyes at the sweetest thing she had ever tasted.

“Hmm.” Lexa tried to pull finger away, and Clarke held on and licked the finger clean, finally letting it go. “What is this?”

“Honey, bees make it from flowers. The bees collect the nectar from flowers and leave in places like that hole. They feed their young, and there is always much more honey than they can use. If we find a hive, we will only take what we need. We want the bees to be happy, so we do not destroy their home. It is a compromise.”

Clarke smiled back at Lexa. That’s the word that they needed. A compromise. The journey they were on would be this thing where they find commonality. She motioned to Lexa to move closer to shore and under the shade. They took turns feeding each other the honey until all that was left was empty comb.

The water splashed around them, and even in the nakedness, Clarke felt a home. Lexa had put her hands behind her and was resting them on the sandy shore, she was covered by the water up to her waist and had her eyes closed soaking in the day, as Clarke looked at her she saw in her a different person than the one that had left her at the mountain. Lexa looked young, but Clarke knew of her responsibilities as a leader and wondered how she didn’t get lost. Maybe it was moments like this in the calm of day, separated from the demands that she could literality take her hair down and be an ordinary person.

She decided to join her, and she shut her eyes and laid back in the water with just her shoulders and head against the shore and her mind began to wander.

“Lexa?”

“Hmm?”

“I was thinking about your bee story.”

Lexa opened one eye and gazed over at Clarke. “What about my bee story?”

“Isn’t that what we do in life? The bees have something we want, and we don’t take more than we need. They have more room to grow when you take their excess honey. If we were to apply that to our people, we could swap and exchange goods, ideas, and labor. When I was in the mountain, I saw technology as well as things I know that could be beneficial to all of our people. We could inventory of what’s there, create an alliance of our people and plan our future.”

Lexa sat up and faced her crossing her legs, and Clarke joined her. “You do not think that the sky people would want it all for themselves?"

“Since I conquered it, by your law its mine. Besides I'm a sky person and have earned the respect of my people. With your wisdom and courage of not going to war, you'll guide both our people towards this new peace. It could be what changes this for all of us. No more war, just living in peace.”

They sat there cross-legged looking at each other, open and free to gaze lazily at their forms. Discussing what was beginning to sound a concrete plan. Clarke was happy. She could feel it deep in her soul, and she was hoping that Lexa felt the same way.

“I’m feeling better Lexa, and it is because of you. What you did for me. Finding me, watching over me and saying what you did earlier. I think I’m ready to go home, but I’ve got one more question for you. How did you not get stung?”

“I did.” Holding out her hand and showing a small welt covered with mud in the palm of her hand.

Clarke blinked as her mind flashed to another day a long time ago, tears began to well up in her eyes and fall over her cheeks out of her control.

It startled Lexa with Clarke's sudden wave of tears. “Why are you crying? Did I do something? Did I say something to hurt you?”

“No, no,” Pausing at this sudden wave of emotion. “I...felt a memory, I don’t understand.” She said slowly shaking her head at the intense feeling that had come over her. “When you held up your hand up I remembered something. It seems like a long time ago, but that can’t be. It just felt so familiar.”

The memory faded a bit, and she was shocked how emotional it made her feel. When she thought about it again, she felt a sob come to the surface, and Lexa reached over and hugged her. Rubbing her back until she pulled away a bit embarrassed.

“I’m sorry Lexa, I don't know where that came from.” Clarke moved over into the water and sunk below the surface and came up again, pushing down the sudden emotions that hit her in a deep place. After returned to the tent and dressing Clarke found Lexa's comb and began working the knots out of her clean hair. Her thought thinking about this day. Yes, she was refreshed from her bath, and happy they were reconnecting but why did the bee sting on Lexa's hand make her cry?

Lexa dressed by the beach and was happy that Clarke felt better but was concerned about what had overcome her at the shore. She could feel her emotions as a living breathing thing, and when she held close to her chest, a familiar rush of recognition rang through her.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the big jump in time, but it is necessary to tell this story. Major trigger warnings apply. More of this first au work will follow as a series.

_May 9, 2052 - May 10, 2052, Virginia_  
  
_TV Reporter:_ The President met with her cabinet and other officials today in Oval Office in deep discussion over the newly discovered flaw in the G.O.S., Global Operating System that was launch earlier this year in a celebration of the union of human ingenuity and the computer’s ability to make life better for humanity worldwide. The President vetoed the bill in March of last year but the Senate overrode her veto, and the law became enacted. It was launched on January 1st this year. As we reported earlier this week, a flaw was detected by a search in the validity of the core instruction in this system.

Clarke and Lexa sat on the sofa huddled together as the news continued.

 _TV Reporter:_ When it was first announced its completion last year to a jubilant crowd of politicians, and lobbyist it soon was met with skepticism from scholars around the world. Hot debates raged over the world about possible flaws in a computer that would eliminate checks and balances keeping humans disconnected from the decision making within its program. When the program was first announced, many suggested that a so call backdoor be left in place to correct any ongoing flaws once the system was fully operational. Late yesterday, a spokesperson for the company addressed the world on behalf of the designers of the computer operating system saying that the creators were locked out and the computer had self-sustained its root command. The outcome is still unclear, but essentially the G.O.S. has locked out the human element decision-making protocols, and we are now looking at a possible worldwide global event.

Clarke quietly looked at Lexa, and her face held a grim look. Lexa removed her hand that had been covering her mouth. The shock of the news almost took her legs from underneath her. Clarke turned the TV off and pulled Lexa into a hug, but she pulled away and started to gather things, with the meaning to clean the house. Clarke stopped her and pulled her into a gentle hug again. Taking the items out of her hands and letting them drop to the floor.

“You don’t have to do this.”

“I have to keep busy.” But Lexa let Clarke hugged her anyway and shut her eyes and tucked her body close to her.

The news had been building for days, and now the world’s future was uncertain at least in the next few hours. Other reports from authorities, was to be with your family. Pray if that was your belief. The officials didn’t say it, but the pundits who had inside knowledge haven’t been spewing happy scenarios that somehow the world wasn’t going to blow up in the next twelve hours.

Lexa started to speak but stopped. Trying to calm her voice. Deciding a least just to stand there and hold onto Clarke. There was nothing left to do but wait. When Lexa finally pulled back to look her she said what was obvious, “We are too old to try to outrun the fallout. I just want to be with you. In our home on our last day together.”

Clarke kissed the side of Lexa's wrinkled face, pulling back to gaze into the face of her best friend and love of her life. “You were always the bravest of the two of us. I couldn’t have thought of a better idea.” Suicide was out of the question. They had faced a lifetime of joy and pain, and they would meet this last battle with both eyes wide open.

There was nowhere that would be safe, except probably where the world’s leaders had sheltered. Somewhere in an underground bunker or maybe on the space stations that orbited the earth. Regular folk, well they’re on their own. The world would be collapsing around them, and the computer system that was supposed to be beneficial to life had just decided to humans were the problem. The programmers did not build into the system a failsafe switch and pulling some damn plug somewhere wouldn’t have helped. The system was complicated, complete and redundant. The creators believed that in this new design they had thought of everything. They had been wrong.

Lexa commented that it sounded like a bad science fiction flick. She wasn’t wrong. It felt stupid, and half thought out but, now this wasn’t going to be repaired. This destruction of nearly every living thing on planet Earth was happening and not a damn person could stop it.

Clarke and Lexa spent some time calling friends when they could get through the busy communication system, talking to neighbors and going from room to room, remembering dinners and parties. Quiet moments together. The love that they shared over their lifetime in their home.

The clock in the hall chimed out eight o’clock, and they moved items out to their beautiful treehouse. Over the last fifty-five years of their over seventy-four years relationship, they had live in Clarke’s house after they had purchased from her late mother. They remodeled and upgraded their home a few times. With the last addition of a walkway to the treehouse from the patio that was attached to the bedroom, since trying to climb the ladder at their age was getting difficult. They added a second story to their house, with big bright windows catching light and breezes throughout the home. It had been a joy to live in this space. Every room held years of memories, and when Clarke reached their conjoined art room and Lexa's study, she picked up a few more items she wanted with them in the end.

The treehouse itself was structurally sound with wooden walls and a metal roof. Screen windows and lighting she had always wanted. It held many memories of their first kiss, the first tentative touches between them. Memories of loss and grief, but most of all it held them.

They settled on the comfy bed and into a sleeping bag for two. Lexa poured herself a glass of white wine and handed Clarke a glass of Jack. Looking at each other and as they had always done, they clinked the glasses together, and both drank the liquid downing them completely. Lexa poured them another as Clarke pulled out a steel fireproof container that had held some of their personal documents.

“I thought maybe we could make a time capsule. Maybe our memories will survive,” Clarke said.

Lexa started to go over the things Clarke had picked out and was happy when she saw her book. Lexa finally finished her musing and had it printed with this being the only copy. Lexa put their life into their story; memories of friendship and love of conflicts in grief and radiant joys of their life together.

Lexa pulled the book to her chest hugging the memories it held. Lexa was happy that this might survive. She looked around and found a pen and wrote an addition to the dedication. Clarke looked over to read the last line and smiled back her. The meaning of those last words resonating deep inside her. Clarke closed the containers. Locked into memories of who they were and how they live. Maybe for some future generation if any survived perhaps it would be found.

Late into the night sirens bellowed throughout the area, and they were ringing out the inevitable finality of their world. Every time they sounded out Lexa shook against Clarke, and she would pull her closer trying to help her forget. Kissing her softly on her grayed hair, rubbing her back and holding her close.

Into the morning early hours and a final warning chime. The last message stated that all measures had failed. Clarke turned off the radio and as they waited huddled together and finally heard the sound of distant bombs. Lexa held Clarke tighter as Clarke whispered into her ear. “I will always be with you.” Pausing to kiss her. “I love you with all of my heart.”

Lexa’s voice caught, and she spoke back, “You gave my life meaning. I love you, Clarke.”

They kissed and pulled back to look into each other eyes, tears streaking down their faces and they pressed their forehead together one last time. Lexa tucked her head under Clarke’s chin when the rush of noise and stifling smoke hit them.

It was sudden, and the tree even though it was strong and sturdy gave way and fell to the side taking them to the ground. The metal roof came down upon them protecting them from the heat, but the thick smoke from the flames sealed their fate. Beneath the roof, the two soulmates embraced in death forever.


	14. Chapter 14

Lexa laid awake sometime after settling in for the night, and after Clarke combed out, and then braided her hair. It was an odd feeling to let Clarke touch her following their weeks of estrangement, but Lexa hoped it was a connection that Clarke craved from her. She wouldn’t complain because any relationship that Clarke wanted she was willing to accept. They chatted a bit more in the quiet of the tent and as they talked she felt this familiar feeling of time repeating itself. Clarke’s soft deep voice was touching a place in her that kept pricking at her soul. A memory she had forgotten trying to pierce the veil that hid these truths. A voice heard in the dark that nudged at her, and felt it was trying to wake something in her. Lexa thought that if she closed her eyes, the memory would come into focus and she could reach out and touch.

~

Clarke woke at hearing a moan and sat up concerned looking towards the source of the sound and to where Lexa was thrashing about having what appeared to be a nightmare. Clarke sat on the edge of Lexa’s bed and placed her hand on her arm and could feel her shaking and trying to cry out in a muted voice.

Not wanting to jar the Commander, Clarke whispered her name and lightly shook her but Lexa was deeply asleep and seemed in pain as she continued to fight against some demon. Clarke worried she could hurt herself and repeated her name a little louder, “Lexa, please wake up.” Clarke froze as a blade was pulled tight to her throat, and Lexa's other hand held her still. “It’s me, Clarke. Lexa, please don’t hurt me.” Lexa dropped her knife and moved back, but Clarke stopped her from fleeing. “Wait, I’m all right.”

Lexa was breathing hard, and her heart was racing at being woken up. She was disoriented and confused. It was the middle of the night and had the same dream, where she lost the girl again. Clarke stroked her hand, and this time Lexa didn’t pull back, letting her touch to help her settle.

“What scared you?”

Lexa felt annoyed and couldn’t tell Clarke of her dreams, not now. Not wanting to frighten Clarke if she were to say her, that every night she saw her likeness die. It caused her to turn inward, and needed Clarke to forget this weakness she revealed when her body betrayed her as she slept.

“It’s nothing Clarke, please go back to sleep. I’m sorry for waking you.”

~

The sun poured into the tent causing Clarke to cover her eyes until they grew adjusted to the light. Then blinked her eyes open and gazed over at Lexa’s bed. It was empty, and she felt the loss immediately. Clarke sat on the edge of her cot and put her hand over the place where Lexa had slept finding the surface cold to the touch. The Commander left her bed hours ago. Clarke shook her head and got out of bed and dressed but stop at seeing a moving lump under the covers, lifting the fur to see Star yawn as she shook herself and clumsily jumped down and left the tent.

Clarke found Lexa sitting by the fire sipping at a mug and looked up when she approached and motioned to another vessel resting on a log. Clarke filled it with the hot tea and sat down across from her.

“You want to talk about last night?”

“There’s nothing to say, Clarke. My dreams are...” Lexa couldn’t say it out loud why they frightened her.

“I have them too Lexa. Bad dreams. I don’t like the feeling of not being in control, but they are just dreams,” Clarke assured her.

Lexa gazed up at her and wished she could say that they were more than just dreams to her but couldn't reveal her pain and said instead, “Yes, Clarke they are just dreams.”

Clarke nodded, sensing Lexa didn't want to share her private thoughts and then let silence fall between them.

Lexa continued to sip her tea and peered out over the awakening forest then glanced back to Clarke at hearing her sigh and seeing her head tilted upward soaking in the rays from the sun and heating the air. A question held on her tongue broke free, “What do you know about the time before the great shadow?”

Clarke turned her gazed at Lexa pausing to think. “Before the bombs fell?” Lexa nodded. “Well, our teachers taught us that the world used to be populated with billions of people with different types of cultures. They built tall buildings and cities all over the world. People were able to communicate instantly across the globe. There were large ships that sailed the oceans that could hold thousands of people and machines that could fly through the air. Some were so powerful that they orbited the Earth. My ancestors help built those ships.”

“Why then did these bombs fall?” Lexa questioned not understanding why they would turn their world into this chaos they now lived.

“It was a mistake.” Clarke closed her eyes at remembering the stories that had been passed down through her people. “It was a man-made mistake in their computer systems, and they were not able to stop the network from destroying the world and almost every living thing."

Lexa was in shock. Not quite sure of what all of that meant. But it indeed changed the sense of her world and turned it on its side. “This is what is in the mountain?”

“I don’t think so. The mountain was a place where the leaders and their families shelter to survive. That’s why the mountain men couldn’t leave I guess. Their descendants were not able to handle the radiation from the fallout. That’s why they needed our blood.”

“So we are safe from this threat?”

“I believe we are. We, together will not make the same mistakes they did. What we take from the mountain won’t be for destruction. It will be for our survival.”

That seemed to relieve Lexa, and she tossed the remained cold tea into the fire making it hiss and evaporated into steam.

“Clarke, do you feel you are you ready to make your way back to your home and your people?”

Clarke knew she couldn't selfishly abandon her duties forever and gazed around her peaceful oasis and then back towards Lexa. “Yes, I’m ready.” But, paused and asked a small favor, “Could we come back here one day?”

Lexa gave her a slight nod, feeling the same draw as the sky girl. “If that is what you wish, I also would like to return, one day.” Lexa got an idea and picked out a prominent tree in the clearing and carved a name into its trunk. And as she did so, she claimed, "By order of Heda Leksa kom Trikru, Lexa of the Woods Clan, Ruler over the twelve clans, The Last True Commander; I so order that this place is forever known as Klarke's Camp." Clarke stood behind her, quite smitten by the gesture and smiled at Lexa's declaration that was meant for ears only. When Lexa finished Clarke placed her hand over her name, touched by the way Lexa's spelled her first name. Now understanding why it sounded strange on her lips sometimes. Clarke wasn't about to correct Lexa and appreciated the gesture and couldn't help from running her fingers along carving in the bark and watched Lexa walk back to the tent sheathing her blade on her hip without saying another word. A longing hit Clarke in a profound place as she looked around this beautiful calm space, knowing that she would miss her forest home.

~

The day started off pleasantly sunny, but as they traveled hours through the thick of the woods, the sky grew dark and heavy with rain clouds, and what little there was of the sun’s rays couldn’t penetrate the high canopy of branches overhead. In some places, thick bushes covered their path and Lexa couldn’t maneuver her horse, taking her sword out and chopped an opening for them to pass.

As they moved into the new clearing, a slow building wave of visions stops Clarke in place, and gasps as a deep longing pierce through her heart. Unable to keep her eyes open as flashes of a time long ago come into her mind, of people, of a home and feelings of deep affection and almost goes to her knees. The impression lasted a moment, and when she opened her eyes, she sees an image of a familiar face from long ago smiling at her. When she blinked her eyes again, Lexa was waiting by her horse.

Lexa was unaware what happened and wrapped her horse's reins around a low branch. “Would you like to rest here, Clarke?”

Clarke waited a bit before responding, trying to make sense of the vision she just had. Confused at its intensity and how it overwhelmed her mind. Not sure of where and how it was possible to feel such a powerful emotion out of nowhere. Clarke felt a wave of exhaustion and finally answered, “If you don’t mind, I could do with a rest.”

Clarke walked further into the small clearing finding a fallen tree. It seemed to be out of place and quite old, most of it had rotted away. Beneath the decay, it partially covered a rusted section of beat-up metal that also seemed out of place.

“Lexa, look at this.” Clarke pointed to the bleach out decomposing tree.

Lexa squatted down to examine this object. “Finding remains of the past is common Clarke, but usually not this deep in the forest.” A crack of thunder overhead was all the warning Lexa needed and stood up, and with Clarke’s help, they quickly set up camp. Lexa moved her horse to dry spot and hooked a leather bucket of grain to a tree for the horse to feed as Clarke set up the cots back in the tent shaking out the fur and laid them on each bed. Star didn’t wait and jumped onto one of them and found her spot and settle in.  
  
The rain would make traveling miserable, and they decided to wait it out. Clarke curled around Star and tried to recall the sensation from the clearing again. It had faded so quickly it caused an ache in her heart at not being able to remember.

Lexa shook herself when she entered the tent and pulled off her wet boots. Giving Clarke a nod and laid on her cot pulling a fur around her body and turned away from her. Clarke's mind drifted back to the out of place tree and the metal and drew the covering to her chin and listened to the rain falling, lulling her to sleep.

~

Clarke felt something tickling her nose and blindly brushed it away. It came back firmer, and it slapped against her face. She blinked her eyes open and again was hit in the face, and this time, she grabbed for it and found it was Star’s tail wagging. Lexa had been playing with her from across the gap between their beds.

“I must have fallen asleep,” Clarke yawned as she rolled over and pulled Star to her chest. “How long was I out?”

“A few hours at least.” Lexa stood up and walked towards the opening peering out. It was late afternoon when the rain finally petered out.

“I guess we’re staying here tonight?” Clarke said as she untangled herself from the furs.

“It would be best. I’ll start a fire if you wouldn’t mind gathering what dry wood you can find.”

"You bet."

Clarke went back to the fallen log, with the thought that under the metal there would be drier limps at least and began to pull away the broken tree branches making a wood pile. Clarke used one of the longer sticks to lift the edge of the metal until her hands found purchase. Grabbing at the corner, straining as she pushed upward out of the way and gazed down not on to pieces of wood but into a pit. Clarke didn’t move, she couldn't and slowly knelt down.

Lexa was working at the flame when she saw Clarke kneel down and then sit motionlessly. Wanting to call out to her but hesitated and went to her side instead to see what caught her attention.

When she approached, Clarke glanced up at her then back down into what resembled a grave. Below were pieces of aged and tattered blue material. Clarke grabbed Lexa’s hand and with a gentle tug pulling her down next to her. Lexa used a branch to remove the cloth away to reveal under the fabric, the bones of two people in an embrace.

They sat there in silence for a quiet moment until Lexa whispered, “Who do you think they were?”

Clarke sighs, “Victims. Victims of the bombs, probability.” Lexa poked around the bodies with a branch and uncovered metal object tucked near the remains. Clarke held onto to her hand to steady Lexa as she reached down to pulled it out. It was an odd metal box with a handle on its lid. Lexa gave it to Clarke, and she turned it around to examine its surface and hearing and feeling the weight of objects inside. Clarke was unsure of its purpose, and it was currently locked. It had a series of rotating numbers fixed in its body, and without the exact combination, it would have to be pried open.

Clarke looked back at the bones in the makeshift grave. She had seen dead bodies before. Too many, but never just their bones. Not like this. Not from the past. A couple who died together when everything went to hell. Sharing their last moments together in what must have been their home. Wondering if they now are standing on what remained. It sent a shiver through her.

Lexa stood up with Clarke, and they both moved the metal back over the bodies, so they would remain undistrubed. The fire forgotten as Clarke followed Lexa back to their tent and she lit a candle to help them see. After they cleaned their hands from the grime of the day, Lexa took one of her knives and worked at prying it open and at her first try the knife slipped dangerously.

“Careful,” Clarke said.

Lexa adjusted her point away from her body and slipped the blade under its edge again, wiggling it side to side and finally breaking the lock making the top popped open with her effort.

A bolt of lightning and crack of thunder roared through the camp causing Star to stand and howl, making Clarke jump and huddled closer to Lexa.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine," Clarke's voice was trembling against the sudden noise. "It just startled me. I haven't got used to your weather yet."

"You will soon enough." Lexa handed the metal box over to Clarke. "This is your find."

"But, you found the box. I just..."

"Clarke." Lexa gently stated, "Then it is ours together. But, I will give you the honor of touching first what treasure lies inside."

Clarke lifted her eyebrows at the comment and gave her a slight smile and placed her hand inside and brushed the surface of a small plastic bag and pulled it out. Clarke turned it over in her hand as Lexa set the box down on the floor of the tent and pulled out the remaining objects it held. Inside the plastic bag was a small metal device and Clarke removed it to inspect the object.

“I think we had these on the Ark. I believe that it stores data.”

“What is data?”

“Hmm, well that’s sort of hard to explain. Let’s just say that it may contain information that we can retrieve with our technology.”

“Is it dangerous?”

“Probably not.”

Lexa opened another plastic covered object, and it held a small box. Inside were two small locks of blond and brown hair tied together with a light yellow cloth and carefully placed it back into the box. Afraid the delicate hair might disintegrate. Clarke put the storage device back into the case, and Lexa handed her another object covered in a dark-colored plastic bag. Clarke felt around the edges to feel its shape. The plastic was in surprisingly good condition after left in place for the past hundred years. Clarke carefully opened it up to reveal that it held a book. Clarke ran her hands over the leather bound cover and opened it to the first page and inside was a dedication by the author and read it to herself. Then place her hand to her mouth and couldn’t control the emotions that swept over her.

“What is it, Clarke?”

"I...I can't..." Clarke handed the book to Lexa, and she read the text out loud.

_\- I dedicate these stories to my first and only love, Clarke._

_My best friend, my beloved and my soulmate through time -_

Handwritten in the author’s hand was this last inscription.

_May we meet again,_

_Lexa_

Lexa haltingly read the inscription as her eyes filled with tears and they spilled down her cheeks. Overcome with emotion from her words reflected back to her, and now she wasn’t able to kept them from falling. What Lexa thought was a useless emotion, now finding it to be soothing as it released the pent-up feelings that had coursed through her heart and mind. These tears spread out to bathe her soul in relief and could let herself feel again when the meaning of the words she had uttered to Clarke at the mountain echoed back at her. Words from the past now revealed as a promise completed.

Lexa felt Clarke’s fingers intertwine with hers and saw her face shining with tears. Clarke gently removed the book from her, setting it on the case and silently pulled Lexa into a hug as they cried together. Clarke held her wanting to convey all the emotions she was feeling with her. The images Clarke had seen just before made a connection to the past that she felt deep in her soul.

Lexa clung to her as Clarke rocked her slowly, and it brought a soothing and comforting relief. She had never shown an emotion so profound in front of Clarke and felt their lives clicking into place that after all this time they found each other after their long dark sleep.

The connection that Lexa felt with Clarke made sense now. Reading those words of love between two people. Like a second chance had been given to them. A possibility to live again. Lexa felt that she had always belonged to her. Clarke must have understood it also, and when she pulled back and looked at her, it was with a clear understanding of who they were to each other. Old hurts could easily put aside, and new beginnings were the only thing possible.

Clarke moved the hair that had fallen into Lexa's eyes and cupped her cheek. Lexa’s eyes closed at the gesture and then saw the love in Clarke’s beautiful blue eyes. Without any words, she closed the gap between them, ducking her chin and letting their lips meet softly together.

It was a slow melding of two souls who were greeting each other again after a long slumber. Those kisses held in them a long ago promise they kept and now it was an understanding that their journey together would continue. It was a recognition of time that had stopped between them was now slowly beginning to restart and beat in their hearts, reconnecting and syncing their souls.

Lexa pulled back from Clarke as her lips trembled, and held her face in between her hands and kissed her lips again and then softer kisses to her cheeks and one to her forehead. When she pulled back, she saw a desire in Clarke’s eyes as they blinked open and she felt the pull that had knitted their souls together wanting to express itself.

“I remember you,” Lexa murmured as her tears freely came down her cheeks.

Clarke let out a breath, “Lexa, how is it possible?"

"Keryon found a way, my love."

The pent-up pain that had been needling at Clarke dissipated and her wounded heart began to heal. Lexa kissed her again as hands started roaming over each other, collecting familiar touches and searingly deep kisses. Clarke pulled at her guiding Lexa to lay down on top of her. Lexa followed her desire and stretched her long frame against her body and found her place together with Clarke once more. Clarke sighed against her lips when she felt Lexa’s growing passion with her comforting weight as she rested on her.

Lexa’s lips were everywhere, kissing her face and down her neck and unconsciously pulled at Clarke’s shirt wanting nothing more between them. They had been apart for far too long, and Clarke placed her hands on her shoulders to gently push Lexa off. It had confused Lexa until she saw Clarke pull at her top and bra removing them one quick tug. Lexa put both hands alongside Clarke's body and gaze freely over her, and they came to rest at the crystal blue eyes that captured her soul.

“You are so beautiful, Clarke, I so wanted to tell you that day when you stepped into the water that you took my breath away. But, I couldn't find my courage. I never dreamed I would ever see you in my bed.”

Clarke smiled at her confession. “And now we are here, and you’re overdressed,” Clarke said with a smile placed her hands on the edge of Lexa’s top tracing her fingers slowly underneath until they met skin. Lexa held still as Clarke moved her hands up cup her breasts under her shirt, and lingered for a moment as Lexa watched then closed her eyes and leaned down to capture her lips again.

They spent long moments where their mouths and tongues roam with each other. Deep longing kisses that grew with each touch and caress. Clarke’s hand unconsciously tugged at her top pulling with an insistence Lexa couldn't ignore; grinning into her lips and leaned back, and Clarke quickly removed her shirt over her head and pulled the other arm free.

Lexa shifted her weight and slowly pressed herself down on Clarke. Feeling Clarke take in a breath when their breasts met in concert, and she couldn't hold back a moan. An urge overwhelming her and takes Clarke into another kiss a new, yet familiar caress.

Clarke never thought her hands would roam over Commander's naked back. Now she was free to let her fingers stray to the edge of her pants and grew bold moving her fingers lightly up and down her spine. Another urge to feel Lexa closer and wrapped her arms around her back to pull her impossibly tighter. Lexa hissed and began to rock into her and shifted Clarke's legs apart and continued to roll against her. Clarke needed her closer and cupped her ass pulling her firm to her sex causing Lexa to groan into the movement sending sparks up from her legs and directly to her need.

Lexa kissed a little slower to bring the heat down in between them. Clarke looked up at her as Lexa moved her hand down to rest on Clarke’s waist, trailing her fingers just inside of the edge of her pants. “Can I?” Clarke nodded and Lexa sat back on her knees and removed her boots. Lexa began unbuttoning her pants, and Clarke quickly shimmied out of them. Lexa hummed at the way Clarke hurried to undress, hiking up her desire. She took them from Clarke and tossed them on the other cot. Lexa quickly removed her clothes as Clarke laid back down carrying a smile on her face. A slight cool breeze blew inside their comfortable nest, and Lexa reached around and pulled the furs up to cover them.

The light from the candle resting on the table between their cots bathed over their bodies. Now that Clarke could gazed over her tan skin she was unable to resist running her hands over Lexa's face and down her neck and to her breast almost making it to her belly when Lexa caught her hands and pressed kissed to both palms and then moved them slowly and laid them down to rest over Clarke’s head intertwining them with hers.

Lexa held them for a moment as she looked down at her, then trailing the backside one of her hands along Clarke’s face and moving it around to cup her cheek. Lexa bent down whispered into her ear, “The sky couldn’t keep you from me, and you fell from the heavens and back into my heart.” Lexa felt a shudder go through Clarke and pulled back seeing the desire in her eyes. Lexa felt it also, the passion of wanting to reconnect and leaned down to graze her lips gently against hers. Clarke's lips felt like a holy place that was meant to be worshiped. Lexa fully stretched out her body completely over her, and she felt the heat from her center as Clarke pressed against her lower belly and wrapped her arms around Lexa’s back as she spread her legs wider in an invitation.

The moment stilled between them as Lexa crossed the threshold and reached her hand along her belly. Watching as Clarke’s eyes grew dark, and her lips parted in anticipation as Lexa’s fingers moved over her soft blonde curls and gently stroked Clarke across her growing wetness between her legs. “Lexa,” Clarke uttered taking a quick breath and arched her back when Lexa slid her finger along her slit and moved her finger slowly up and down through her wetness. Placing kisses along her neck to breast lingering there and then running her tongue around and over her nipple and placing a gentle, soft kiss at its point. Then bathing it with her tongue and sucking her into her mouth. Clarke felt the tugged between her legs and lightly cupped Lexa’s cheek to her breast and Lexa moved her head to tenderly kissing her palm.

The heat was pouring off of Clarke after being touched, and Lexa for her part grew lost in her body. To the taste of Clarke’s skin as she ran her tongue over her breast to the texture of her soft swollen lips to the wetness, she felt as she ran her fingers through Clarke’s sex. It was too much and whispered Clarke name as a chant waiting for that one word that would free her fingers to move to her most intimate place.

“Please Lexa. Please don’t stop...inside please.”

Lexa’s heart soared at her plea and with one final stroke to her mound she cupped Clarke's sex and slipped her longest finger inside. Lexa closed her eyes at the wet warm sensation of being inside of Clarke. Moving to explore her depth. It felt divine as her fingers were held tight by Clarke's silky channel, and she slowly glided around and grazed the delicate patch that brought a gasp to Clarke’s mouth and persistence to her body, and she started to rock her hips as Lexa slowly moved in and out of her.

Lexa moved slowly to let Clarke get comfortable with the rhythm and her presence inside of her. Unable to keep her words to herself, Clarke breathed softly, “You feel good inside me.” Lexa shivered at her statemetn and came out with one finger then entered her with two. Clarke moaned out with a contented, “Yes.”

Lexa's heart soared at being so deeply inside of Clarke. Feeling and hearing the sound of wetness on her hand every time she moved inside of the sky girl. Clarke's moaning sent ripples of pleasure through Lexa, and she clinched down against her own dripping sex as her fingers slid around touched every surface then pulled them out. Lexa slowly pushed them back deeper.

Clarke clung to her shoulders and panted with each thrust. Lexa removed her fingers from her warm core and held them just outside her entrance, and waited until Clarke opened her eyes to question why she stopped then she placed her lips softly against Clarke's lips then pushed deep inside her again as her tongue entering her mouth in unison.

Clarke couldn’t hold back a seductive moan from Lexa’s penetrating touches and relished the sensation of being full with Lexa's long fingers. Arching her back at feeling herself coming to the tipping point. A place that Lexa brought her to in pleasure so quickly and called out her name as she started to find her release.

Lexa felt Clarke's joy as she moves against her hand as her orgasm started. Hearing her name uttered on Clarke's lips as she continued sliding inside her until Clarke held Lexa’s arm against her stomach and keeping her fingers inside as the waves of her climax rode out through her hips.

Joy flowed through Lexa at Clarke’s orgasm, feeling her heart swell with the love she felt for her and placed light kisses over Clarke’s face and lips moving down to kiss her neck and then down to her breast again. Clarke pulled her back up and connected their mouths. A connection that Lexa could feel Clarke longing for her.

Minutes past to let Clarke settled. Soft breaths caught in her throat, but as the minutes pass she grew bold and rolled over and faced Lexa. Clarke kissed Lexa and ran her hand along her arm and down to her fingers and cupping Lexa hand tightly against her sex and rocking her hips as if to say, 'Please stay. Lexa kissed her answer to her lips, and her hand remained.

They held their kiss, breathing the same humid air as Clarke moved her hand over to her hip and down in front of her firm abdomen and grazed her dark curls feeling the wetness that gather making Lexa instinctively wags her legs open. Clarke needs to see her face and pulls back holding her gaze and connecting their eyes as she ran her fingers slowly across the wetness coating inside of her thighs and stopped at her entrance. “So wet for me?” Clarke whispered her question and softly kisses her, and slowly enters with two fingers. Lexa’s breath caught then began gasping with each thrust Clarke makes into her and wants to watch as Clarke moves deep inside of her, but the pleasing throbbing between her legs make it impossible.

Lexa arched her back shamelessly at being intimately stroked. Holding on to Clarke as her fingers moved in and out trying to convey that she would always be safe in her hands. Clarke felt her walls contract and grab tightly around her fingers as her hand and wrist now coated with Lexa’s wetness and she began to grind against Clarke’s palm.

Clarke nudged Lexa arm to remove her fingers from inside of her and rolled on top of her as Lexa grabbed at her shoulders to ground herself to Clarke. Riding her fingers as Clarke continued to enter her deeply. Lexa starts to bear down, and with a final thrust, Clarke senes a rush of wetness pour out of her. Lexa cries out her name riding her climax for long seconds until her body and breathes come out slow, measure and grounded back on Earth.

Clarke slowly removed her fingers and savored what lingered. Lexa blinked her eyes and her heart soared at this vision and pulled her down to kiss and tastes herself thick on Clarke's lips and tongue, and her arousal grew again from what Clarke recently quenched.

The melding of their souls so long ago reunited in a dance of love in the forest in this new time. Love carried them through the mist to bind them forever. They held each other as the awareness of their past connecting them in the present had changed everything that happened between them after Clarke fell from the sky.

Clarke gazed at Lexa laying in her arms with her head on her breast, her eyes closed and a smile on her face while Clarke rubbed her back in lazy circles moving them up and down. It felt so familiar to have Lexa so close to her as they listened to the rain as it pattered against the tent.

The warmth of the bed and the heat from the bodies causing both lovers to drift into a restful sleep until Lexa heard a sneeze. Her eyes shot opened to look for her knife and then to the other cot and at Star sitting on the edge of Clarke’s bed, silently watching out through the tent opening. Lexa chuckled, and Clarke glanced over and saw her cub and joined her laughter then tucked her face into to Lexa’s neck when her face began to blush.

~

Lexa hugged Clarke and kissed her lips, and tried to move from the comfortable embrace, hating the leave the warmth of Clarke's arms. When she heard Clarke’s stomach rumble, it’s disapproval for the third time at missing lunch. Lexa knew she they couldn't linger in bed without setting a fire and feed Clarke.

Lexa searched for her clothes as Clarke sat up and hugged from behind stopping her motions. Lexa leaned back into the touch and pulled her hands up to kiss her palms.

“You’re distracting me, Clarke.”

“Mighty Heda distracted by a sky girl, impossible.” Then trailed kisses along her shoulders to her neck.

Clarke rolled over and stood up and started to dress while Lexa watched as she fumbled with her clothes. In Clarke's haste to remove her top she had turned inside out. Lexa stopped her movements reaching out for Clarke's arm, drawing her to stand between her legs. Lexa ran her hands up her legs and pulled her close to her body and started placing soft kisses on her chest. Clarke closed her eyes and held her head against her body relishing the connection she now had with Lexa. Clarke's stomach growled again.

"Jok," Lexa gently cursed against Clarke's breast. "I must feed the beast that apparently lives in your belly. But, you keep distracting me,” Lexa said as she smiled up at her. Clarke ran her hands through her hair. Clarke cupped her chin and bent over to kiss her lightly on her lips and place another to the tip of her nose.

"I will never be sorry for distracting you, Heda."

~

As Lexa stepped out in the fading light, she felt lighter on her feet. Her heart was free, and she had a feeling of joy that she only remembered feeling like as a young child when everything was new, and she was untouched by the world’s fury.

Lexa found her horse still dry under the canopy and ran her fingers through his mane. He nuzzled her palm and shook his head and snorting an approval to her. The rain had stopped for some time and starting a fire would be difficult, but Lexa was determined to get a flame.

Clarke appeared from the tent with Star on her heels and continued to collect the wood she had forgotten. Lexa quickly got sparks to flame and moved small twigs into the growing fire.

Clarke warmed her hands in the warmth when Lexa unexpectedly blew a whistle in the air making her smile until the brush began to move, and Lincoln appeared with freshly killed rabbits. Clarke’s eyes went wide thinking they had been alone out here this whole time. Lincoln nodded in her direction and left the kill next to Lexa, returned in the direction he came.

“He’s been out there the entire time?” Clarke whispered.

“He’s within walking distance, but not so close to hear us talk Clarke. It’s okay. I should have mentioned this earlier, but it’s customary for me to have a reliable member of my clan to stand watch.”

“Maybe we should have asked Lincoln to stay.”

“If you want company, I will call him back if you wish.”

"Please, invited him back. It's only fair we share the meal with him."

Lexa blew out another soft whistle. Lincoln appeared after a short time, and he began to help clean the rabbit.

“It’s good to see you again Clarke.”

“I thought you would have headed back with Octavia.”

“I’ll see her soon, no worry.”

Lincoln finished skinning and gutting the rabbit and set up a cooking spit to roast the meat over. Star walked over to fire and sat down, licking her lips.

He sat back against the log and waved off the offer of a drink from Lexa. “Octavia said you met a friend on your journey.”

Clarke petted her on her back, and wolf moved to her side. "Her name is Star."

Clarke was surprised that Octavia would have mentioned Star to him, but it seemed they didn’t keep anything apart from one another. Clarke felt a little self-conscious when Lexa would give her gentle look. It made her wonder what Lincoln might be thinking of the Commander spending all this time with her as well as the other members her clan, surely they knew by now. Clarke's thoughts turned to her people and how they would react to her relationship with the Commander after the betrayal at the mountain.

Her thoughts were interrupted when Lexa poured them each a cup. Clarke savored this first taste and hummed remembering, not so many days ago when Lexa offered it to her for the first time.

~

Lincoln quartered the rabbit and portion out the meal, taking a bowl for himself and left them to eat in private. At the first taste of the rabbit, Clarke let out a groan at the flavor. Lexa smiled as she started to eat.

“I shouldn’t take up all your time in bed and not feed you properly.”

Clarke choked then covered her mouth. “That’s not fair. We had important things to discuss, Heda.”

“Next time I will prepare a meal and serve it to you in bed. I wouldn’t want you to faint when I’m kissing you.”

“What if I do faint while we in bed, then what will you do?”

“I would hope it was because I made love to you properly.”

Clarke smiled as she tossed the last portion to Star and threw her cleaned bones into the fire and licked her fingers. “When we get back, I’m concerned about how..." Hestaining on how to phrase what they both soon would have to face; the members of the sky counsel and Lexa's people. "I’m not sure how to say this.”

Lexa understood her worry. “They may say we have crossed a line, but for me, it was never there.”

“I feel the same way, but how will the other clans and my people react?” She stopped again, really not knowing how they should describe what there were to each other to her family and friends.

“We have a connection to the past that is unheard of, and many will question if we haven't gone mad,” Lexa stated.

“It is that, but more Lexa. I don’t know how to describe the feelings I have for you. I went away so angry with you and now how will we explain...”

“Nothing has to be said, Clarke. This path was always our journey.”

Clarke smiled at remembering not so long ago that yes they were on a journey together. Now it held more depth and wonder of what would happen next. Clarke reached out of her mug and Lexa joined with her. "Here is to the next steps we take together." The sound echoed out a familiar resonance as the night settled upon them.


	15. Chapter 15

Lincoln joined the two of them after they had cleared the thickness of the forest in their final trek home. Clarke engaged him in a casual conversation trying to feel out his acceptance of the friendship he saw growing between her and the Commander. His kind words as he spoke, reflected hope in their relationship that maybe the clans could unite with the peace the two of them achieved in her time away.

Clarke enjoyed Lincoln's account of Octavia’s bravery at killing the pauna. Sensing he loved her, although he never uttered those words. His eyes held in them a new wonder that Clarke felt when she looked at Lexa.

Stars were just blinking into view over the opened sky when they trudged into the beginnings of the Commander’s camp as hues of orange and red from the flickering campfires made shadows of the figures standing around the roasting game. Low voices rose as they walked into the camp with one warrior dashing to take the reins of Lexa’s horse and led the animal into a corral to join the others.

Lexa escorted Clarke to her tent, passing the entrance guarded by two of her warriors. This time they deferred in Clarke's presence with their Commander, showing her respect for the first time. Clarke gazed around the first chamber, noticing how it like their first meeting not so long ago, but without her throne. Not sure of its purpose other than to hold counsel with other leaders. Lexa continued to the back area to an opening that led to another room.

“Go ahead inside Clarke. My scouts undoubtedly prepared the room for our arrival. Please, make yourself at home, and I’ll join you in a moment.” Lexa left her with a kiss on her cheek.

Clarke found the room lit with numerous candles with a brazier warming the area in one corner, happy that it was much larger than the shelter they had used on the road. Animal skins covered the floor and next to the back wall held a cozy looking bed. To one side through another sheer curtain held a basin for bathing.

Star settled near the foot of the bed and watched Clarke with steady blue eyes her every movement and flopped out her growing paws in front of her. Clarke set down the metal case they had found on their journey on the skins and reached down to pat her head. "We're finally home, sweetie," Clarke said looking around. "Well, this is home for awhile," she scratched her ears and received a lick on her hand.

Clarke felt the exhaustion as she pulled off her muddy boots and tossed them just inside the door, and fell face first on the bed, letting out a grateful moan. Lexa soon joined her and laid down on her back beside her. Closing her eyes in relief.

“I’m tired, how about you?” Clarke mumbled into the covers.

Lexa glanced over at Clarke feeling the long days the walk back home, had finally caught up with her as well. “It’s been a long natshana," Lexa sighed then seeing Clarke's confusion Lexa translated, "I mean moon. The outcome was more than I could have foreseen. I hoped just to find you and keep you safe. I didn’t know I would be bringing you home with you in my heart.”

Clarke leaned up and laid her hand on Lexa’s breastplate and fiddled with a bit of leather and quietly said, “I would have perished out there. You know that right?”

Lexa felt the weight of her words from the first day she began searching for Clarke and kept what she needed to say to herself, that it would have destroyed her if Clarke had met that fate. "Clarke, I..."

Clarke continued, “I could have died out there, and at times I didn’t care. I felt that I deserved that. To just not exist anymore.”

“I will always regret that I put you in that position. I wish someday you can forgive me."

“I've already forgiven you, Lexa. We are already moving past our mistakes. We are here _now_ and safe. Our next obstacle will be uniting our clans.”

Lexa pulled Clarke over to rest her head on her shoulder and laced their fingers together. “We should call a meeting between your clan and Trikru and discuss how we move forward, soon.”

“How close are we to Camp Jaha?”

“They are just past the stand of trees to the North," pointing in the direction. You could be home today if you wish.”

Clarke knew that Lexa was her home and said as much, “I’m am home, Lexa with you. Please know this is where I want to be.”

Lexa hugged Clarke. “Do you want to send word you’ll arrive tomorrow?”

"Yes, but later.” Clarke raised herself up and eyeing the steaming basin. “That looks inviting, will you join me?” poking Lexa in the ribs.

Lexa caught her hand and finding her strength to straddled Clarke's legs, lacing their fingers together over Clarke's head and eyed her catch. “Are you saying I smell Clarke?” Lexa raised one eyebrow.

Clarke couldn't help but giggle at the playful side to the Commander and feigned indifference, shrugging her shoulders, “I think we both do.” Lexa ducked her head and brushed her lips against hers and then parted them relaxing her body to cover her, taking long moments to savor Clarke’s kisses.

Lexa pulled Clarke from the bed and work at shedding their clothing, try keeping their lips from parting from each other. Laughing at their failed attempt as Clarke nearly tripped when Lexa tried removing her pants, finally succeeding and tossed to one side. Clarke grappled with Lexa's clothes, unstrapping the belts and ties from around her waist and chest, and soon they stood stripped of their clothing. Clarke drew Lexa into an embrace as their bodies fit naturally together. The warmth gathering between them as they kissed and held each other close and it did indeed feel like home.

A wave of gratitude welled up in Clarke and held her tighter. “Thank you, Lexa. Thank you for finding me and bringing me home.”

Lexa blushed but hid her embarrassment by grabbing Clarke's hand and guiding her to warm bath and helping her step into the tub. She joined her, leaning back and pulling Clarke against her chest. They both let out simultaneously sighs of approval. A few moments passed as Lexa slowly ran her hand along Clarke’s sides and over her ribs.

“Can I bathe you, Clarke?”

Clarke looked back at her with one eye and nodded her head. The warm water was making her relax, and if Lexa wanted to take the lead, she wasn’t going to object. Lexa helped Clarke lay back into the water and thoroughly soak her hair. Clarke sat back up wiping the water from her eyes, and Lexa found the soap on a nearby table and lathering it in her hands and started to massage it into her scalp earning her some appreciative moans from Clarke. After washing and rinsing her hair, she opened a small jar and poured an amber liquid into her palm. Rubbing her hands together and applied over Clarke’s damp hair starting at the top of her head, working the sweet, spicy smelling liquid to the tips.

Clarke let out a sigh, “Hmm, what’s that I smell?”

“They call it Bluma. Made from the essence of herbs and flowers mixed with a very light fragrant oil, or so they tell me. It will make it easier to comb out your hair. I get at a market in Polis." Lexa paused and casually said, "I’ll have to take you there when we get back home.” Lexa thought on home, hoping by saying these words that Clarke would return with her. They had yet to discuss what would be Clarke's plans if they could negotiate peace between their clans, but it would have to wait for later.

“Hmmm, it smells like you.” Clarke wanted to know more Lexa's home but kept this secret from her. Not knowing what the future might hold until she speaks with her mother. Not knowing if it was possible to find the peace she so desperately wanted now. If it wasn't possible, how would she leave her mother? Would Lexa's clans wish to battle with them if they fail?

Lexa leaned in to take in a deep breath of her clean hair. “It does smell nice on you.” Lexa finished combing out the tangles, and they changed places and did the same for Lexa. In between deep kisses and playful petting as they bathe each other Clarke and Lexa were finally clean. Clarke relaxed against Lexa’s chest, and she held her around her waist.

They stayed there in the comfort of the warm water as Lexa slowly ran her hand up and down Clarke’s arm, amazed at the beautiful woman she had next to her. She had found Clarke and not only that she may have discovered the girl she had lost in her dreams. Maybe this was always meant to be. The deep feelings that they had shared was also a connection to the past, and felt the love between them grow, reaffirming its place in their hearts. It was something that held her in awe and caution.

It wasn’t unheard of clans members crossing clan lines to bond, but as the Commander and as far back as she had known this had never happened before. Her thoughts were interrupted by the distinct sound of Clarke’s stomach growling it’s disapproval of needing food again.

“The beast needs to be fed again, Clarke,” she said kissing her forehead.

They took turns drying each other off, still exploring this new closeness they were sharing. Clarke marveled at the tone of Lexa’s body. Even with the few scars and tattoos, she carried over her body Lexa was beautiful in Clarke’s eyes.

Lexa pulled out some clean but worn clothing to wear and called for a meal be brought to her room, and moments later a couple of young assistants appeared with food and drinks; removing their soiled clothes and boots to be cleaned.

In between bites of meat and fruit, Clarke worked on the message for her people. Stopping then starting and finally settle on keeping it simple but formal to convey the seriousness of her burgeoning responsibility she carried, _I come bringing peace between our clans, Trikru and Skaikru. We have much to learn from one another and to share. I will return at first light tomorrow. Be well, Clarke of the Sky People._ Lexa called for a messenger, and Octavia appeared soon after.

“Hey, little buddy.” She reached down and scooped up Star in her arms, and the wolf enthusiastically licked her all over her face and anywhere she could reach. “I missed you too.”

“You have something for me, Clarke?”

Clarke handed her the message. “Yes, can you get this to my mother tonight?” Octavia dropped Star on the bed and tucked the note into her coat pocket.

“Clarke, I don’t want to alarm you, but our people at Camp Jaha are concerned with Commander’s camp standing so close to them. I’ve tried to assure them that they are safe, but we have a few hot heads trying to start something.”

And here it begins, Clarke thought. “Listen, I’ve let my mother know that I’ll be there in the morning and that Trikru comes in peace. I know that may not be what everyone is ready for just yet, but please let her know that they are safe. We aren’t going to war. Maybe that might calm everybody down.”

“I hope so. See you in the morning, Clarke.” Octavia nodded at Lexa and left their tent.

~

Octavia signaled to the guards when she reached the gate. Waiting while they stood, refusing to comply with her request and called up to them, “I have a message for the Chancellor from her daughter, Clarke." The newly arrived Arkers were unsure of her ever since they found out she hooked up with a grounder, but a shout from her brother and they finally agreed, opening the gate but kept their arms trained on her.

She shook her head and left to find Abby in the remains of the Alpha Station. Octavia weaved her way through the people milling about the halls and heard the sharp talk of fear and confusion. The Commander’s camp so close to their home was making her people restless, and she wished that Clarke had come with her. As she entered their new council room, Abby was sitting with the other leaders, Jaha and Kane.

“I have a message from Clarke.” Jaha reached for the note, and Octavia moved past him and handed it to Abby to read.

Abby looked concerned trying to read the expression on Octavia’s face wondering where Clarke was. “It’s okay, Abby. Clarke is home and healthy. The Commander has been taking care of her.”

Abby looked relieved and opened the message from her daughter. She read it out loud to the gathering crowd.

Abby smiled at the words and looked out to her people. “Everyone, I know we have been worried about what happens next. We’re in new territory, in a new home. We all have much to learn. I have faith in Clarke that what she speaks about is possible. I won’t tolerate any hostile feelings towards our new friends. If you have a problem, then seek me out. If you’re afraid, speak to me.”

Abby looked at all the faces of the people she now led. What she saw was uncertainty, and a few of them showed acceptance. It was a start. In the morning her daughter would be home. The fear she carried when she found out that first morning when Clarke had fled into the forest ago faded into past. Tomorrow she’ll hold her, and it would be as real as the moment she first saw her face when she gave birth to her. Clarke is a leader now in her own right. How could she not be proud of her?

A sullen figure blended into the crowd as he listened to Abby. He had heard all he needed and ducked away and bolting towards the hidden way out of fence surrounding the camp. He bent away from the lights and walked into the forest towards the Commander’s camp, where he would wait for her.

~

“Open.” Lexa placed the last ripe berry covered in honey into Clarke’s mouth, and as she tasted the fruit, her eyes went shut at the delicious delicacy. Her eyes came open and gave Lexa intense, seductive look. Her belly was full, but her body needed something more. Watching as Lexa licked the remaining honey from her fingers. Lexa’s reward was Clarke shifting her position on the bed, and her top slipped a bit to reveal the swell of her breasts coming into view so casually that Lexa’s eyes became focused on them.

Clarke continued to move backward and relaxed against the mass of pillows at the head of the bed with her blond curls splaying across her shoulders and chest. She crossed her arms and grabbed the hem of her top, pulling it off and tossing it aside.

Clarke put up one finger motioning to her. “Come here, Commander.”

Lexa’s eyes grew dark at her words and moved to her hands and knees slowly crawling up the bed to hovered over Clarke like a prowling cat. Clarke blinked her blues eyes at her intensity and submitted as she slipped down to lay under her. Lexa’s hand rested on her hips angling her fingers at the edge of the light material covering her hips, easing a finger just underneath and slipped the undergarments from Clarke’s hips.

Lexa skimmed her hands lightly up and down Clarke’s body when she caught her hands. "Uh-uh, not till you lose your clothes."

Lexa narrowed her eyes and quickly removed the little bits of clothes she wore. Thanks to Clarke, she selected out of the pile of clothes she had, one of her more worn out shirts and snatching away her short pants. Telling her that her top was long enough, and well it was just to two of them now. Lexa willingly consented and moved back to start when she left off.

The honey still lingered on Clarke's lips, drawing her tongue inside spending long removing any that remained as she kissed Clarke. Lexa held Clarke's cheek nuzzling her neck drawing out soft moans to Clarke's lips and urgency in her hands pushing her shoulders downward.

The blanket covering Clarke’s legs was pushed away as Lexa worked her way down her body. Worshiping each inch of skin with soft licks and gentle bites. Clarke's eyes half-lidded watching as she moved to her breast, her tongue circling her nipple and taking it into her mouth closing her eyes at feeling the fullness as Clarke rake her fingers through her hair in response.

"Fuck..." Clarke arched her back at Lexa's teeth gliding over the peak attempting to push her breast deeper into her mouth. "Please, Lexa...I need..."

Lexa held still and gazed up the expanse of Clarke’s open body, cooing, “Dena Clarke. _Soon_.” Clarke cupped her cheek, and Lexa pressed a kissed to her palm.

Lexa hovered just over her center and reached up to lace their fingers together and watch Clarke's eyes as she took the first lick of her sex then closed them as her tongue tasted Clarke's essence for the first time.

Clarke held her head up as long as she could, holding her breath in anticipation, not sure of what to expect as Lexa's tongue explored her for the first time. A shudder went through her body and dropped her head on the pillow spreading her legs wider and let out a sensual cry as Lexa ran her tongue over her.

Lexa nuzzled her nose into her folds and continued to savor Clarke’s slick. Her tongue carefully explored her secrets now laid open before her. Lexa released Clarke’s hand and wrapped her arm around her thigh and spread her apart with her long fingers, letting her tongue lay flat against her clit then ran it down to her opening where she could press inside her.

Clarke’s wetness was all woman, wild and scented with desire. Lexa exchanged her tongue for fingers and penetrated her as she licked her swollen bud as it stood out from its hood. Lexa sucked at her clit and ran her tongue flicking back and forth and focused on bringing Clarke to her release. As Clarke’s body tense nearing her climax, Lexa backed off, kissing the inside of her legs and leaving a trail of kisses. Teasing her with anticipation, leaving Clarke panting and squirming, so close and ready to fall into bliss.

Clarke looked down begging her not to stop, "Lexa please, I need..."

Lexa got on her knees and plunging deep inside of Clarke over and over as her mouth concentrated on flicking, licking and bringing Clarke to her climax. Clarke's cries now constant and pleading. Lexa wouldn't stop now, not when Clarke was close to falling over the edge. Clarke squeezed down her fingers as she pumped into her and focused on pushing her over into her orgasm. Clarke cried out and bucked her hips up to meet her tongue as she came. Clarke held on to her head as she bucked against her tongue and mouth and Lexa's fingers easing Clarke through her climax.

Lexa held her in her mouth for a few moments feeling the pulsing subside and then placed a soft kiss on her short curls. Closing her eyes and laid her cheek against Clarke for a moment and stretch out her body; her heart swelled with love that she felt for Clarke.

Clarke sleepy eyes slightly opened when Lexa crawled to her side and laid her head down on her chest, listening to her heart beating. Hearing it grow calmer as she settled. Lexa closed her eyes in gratitude, whispering a silent prayer to keryon that allowed her to find Clarke in this life again.

Clarke brought her out of her thoughts running a finger along her wet mouth and whispered, “Your tongue is wicked, Lexa.”

Lexa blush made it all the way to the tips of her ears and sat up resting her chin on her hands covering Clarke’s chest. Suddenly growing shy and had to hide her face and whispered to Clarke, “I love the way you taste Clarke.”

That drew a gentle laugh from Clarke causing Lexa’s head to bounce a little. Smiling as she reached down to pull Lexa up toward her and kissed her and moaned into her lips. “Mmm.”

“You like?” Lexa murmured.

“I do, but I think...umm I need to...” Clarke quickly rolled Lexa over, and now it was her turn to look down on her. “My turn.” Clarke kissed her again and then deeper as her hands tried to touch all of her body. Clarke’s body ached to feel Lexa as intimately she had done to her. A connection they both needed after a lifetime of apart and this new world held its uncertainty.

Clarke kept Lexa's hands over her head as she had done to her before pulling a smirk from Lexa but surrendered to her. Clarke laid her full breasts down on her smaller ones. The sensation and the warmth caught a gasp in Lexa’s throat with Clarke taking her time kissing and licking her way down her body. Her lips found a taut nipple, and she grazed her lips gently over the peak and sweeping around and sucking her into her mouth. It was a perfect moment. Clarke’s senses were touching, feeling and smelling all that was Lexa. Her hand found her other breast and ran her finger gently over and moved her head to lick around and suck her into to her mouth, and caught Lexa’s gaze. Desire covered her face, and Clarke ducked down and sucked harder on her breast pulling moan from Clarke's lips as she did. Lexa’s panted with sweet cries caused a surge of wetness from her again. Clarke parted her legs and laid down between them. Her mouth was mere inches from Lexa's scent and moisture. The ache was intoxicating waiting for the first moment when she tastes Lexa for the first time.

“Are you sure Clarke?” Lexa asked.

“I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life until this one moment.” Clarke ducked her head down and planted a soft lingering kiss on Lexa’s sex. Lexa hissed as she parted her lips and licked her clit. She hovered moments savoring her taste and place lips over her sex and sucking her into her mouth and groaned again. The vibration sent chills up Lexa's body.

She reacted to every touch, lick, and caress but tried to hold still letting Clarke explore her body and opened herself up to give her everything she was. Trying to hold off her climax, it was difficult because Clarke’s tongue and lips were doing delightful things to her.

Clarke took her into her mouth again rubbing her tongue gently over her sensitive throbbing clit and entered her with two fingers. Exploring this new facet of their relationship and watch for a reaction when her fingers pushed her front wall over and over again. A gush of wetness spilled out of her as Clarke continued to suck and thrust into her. It was too much for Lexa as her orgasm took her by surprise and it sent her over when their eyes met Clarke’s and she finally let go. Arching her back into the climax, allowing the feeling take control of her body as she clung to Clarke, riding her through her release until her body went limp.

~

“We’re never leaving this bed,” Clarke said much later.

“Hmmm.” Lexa agreed, “We should hold all our meetings in our bed?"

Clarke laughed, “Sounds scandalous." Running her fingers over Lexa's back. "Maybe after we settled everyone down, we can just be us, in our bed together and shut the world out for a bit.”

“I’ll make you that promise Clarke.” Lexa tucked Clarke next to her side and closed her eyes.

Clarke laid awake for a little longer. Contemplating facing her friends and mother tomorrow. Wondering if she could pull from Lexa the strength she needed to deal what the new light would bring.

Star jumped on the bed and leaned against Clarke’s hip and settled down against her warmth, and she slowly blinked her eyes and fell asleep.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took 16 chapters, but Clarke finally made it to Camp Jaha!!

The sounds of the camp brought Clarke's eyes open a little confused where she was, then remembered. Lexa's warm body was next to her and soundly asleep on her stomach and facing away from Clarke, with her long dark hair covering the pillow. Clarke reached over to touch her curls and lightly ran her fingers along her back. Careful not to wake her from sleep. She shifted closer and placed a light kiss on her shoulder and laid her cheek against it for a moment to take in their combined scent.

Clarke's was a little tender between her thighs from last evening's exploration. After they have made love and fallen asleep in each other arms, it was sometime in the middle of the night, when she felt Lexa placing kisses on her body. Starting with Clarke's fingertips, she mapped a trail along her palm and then her wrist moving up her arm and shifting to the outside of her shoulders and later to the edge of an ear. All the time whispering quiet words in Trigedasleng in a cadence that sounded like poetry. She could only make out of few of those words, like heart and please, each word utter like a prayer causing Clarke's body to come alive. All the while Lexa's long fingers moved slowly inside her, feeling every surface as her hips rocked and then quivered as Lexa's thumb grazed over her clit, once then twice, and again finally sending her over in an explosion of warmth and wetness between them.

Clarke sensed that Lexa craved affection through their contact. A feeling deep inside Clarke's heart that mirrored those same longings Lexa must have felt. Lexa whispered about the time she had been alone, never quite making a connection to another living soul, even though she had cared deeply for Costia until they met she didn't feel complete, with her everything had changed. Lexa told her that it was what her words in her language had meant right before she fell asleep again.

Clarke laid there with tears building in her eyes at the intimate connection, not just with their bodies but with their spirits, and all that Lexa had said as she opened herself up to her. Lexa trusted that she would take care of her heart. Clarke knew to be a bold declaration in the quiet of their tent. She held those words close to her heart and swore to protect her.

As they made love, Star woke to their movements and sounds they uttered and jumped off the bed to lay by the warm brazier. Clarke could have sworn she saw her roll her blue eyes and she smiled at the memory.

She sat up and saw that Star had returned to their bed sometime later and had laid near their sides to keep warm and was still asleep. She quietly got out of bed and took care of the fullness of her bladder and clean up, then dressed and wrote a short note to Lexa that she would return after she met with her people. Clarke stoked the brazier before she left, turning to watch as Lexa continued to sleep and smiled as Lexa shifted and laid her arm over Star and cuddled together.

Clarke stepped outside into clean, fresh air, seeing the sun just peeking through the leaves as her eyes roamed across the camp to a man waiting for her. Lexa's warrior was holding the reins of a horse for her. Clarke had intended to walk the short distance, but the man said the chestnut mare was a gift from Heda. She commented to him how beautiful the horse is, her coat gleaming from someone's careful grooming. He told her the horse's name was Fotam, the name she knew from gonasleng word Autumn. The horse was gentle and nickered when Clarke brushed her hand lightly across her side. He helped her mount and handed her the reins, and she clicked her tongue and tapped the horse’s side and guided her towards the path out of camp and towards home.

She followed the path into the darken forest not lit up from the sun, and her horse made her way without hesitation. Clarke had wanted to take Lexa with her, but she felt that the first meeting with her family and friends should be by herself. She took in a deep breath of the pine-scented forest and was looking forward to moving towards this new peace.

Fotam jumped, and Clarke saw for a brief second, motion of an object falling near her, and her world went dark as something heavy hit her head and she slumped against the horse's neck. The attacker mounted behind her and placed a bag over her head and lead her away from Camp Jaha and away from Lexa.

~

Clarke awoke in darkness.

Her head bent over, and her body held secure to a pole. Her head was pounding in pain and tasted blood in her mouth. Her first reaction was to move her arms, but a cold chain wrapped around her hands bound them behind her back. She could only see black but heard a person walking as though they were pacing the room. She was no longer in the forest, and for a few moments she thought she could be at Camp Jaha, but it was too quiet to be that place. She tried using her shoulder to remove the dark bag that was over her head, and that brought the watcher’s attention to her.

Clarke could sense the person's demeanor was male. He now stood in front of her and could hear him breathing and muttering under his breath. She waited for him say something, anything, but he didn't speak.

“Who’s there?” Clarke cried out and tried not to sound as scared as she felt.

He didn’t say a word and heard his boots scuffing against the floor. He appeared to move away and then listened to the door shut and lock. Clarke worked at getting the hood off again and managed to shake it off her head. The room was unfamiliar to her, except for the odor. What she detected were dead bodies, but not seeing anything other than a single desk and few shelves and chairs She noticed right away that the walls were familiar, but not like the sterile white room she woke up in when the mountain men captured them earlier in the year. Clarke panicked when she realized she was back at Mount Weather.

Her mind went into overdrive trying to put everything together. Who had brought her here? How long had she been knocked out? The trip alone would have taken an hour, maybe two by a horse. Her mother and friends would have been expecting her early this morning and would have been waiting hours for her by now. Surely word has been sent to Lexa. A dozen thoughts crammed into her still aching head. The blood was from a gash on her head caused by the blow she suffered slowly leaked down her face, and she could taste it in her mouth.

"Who are you? Nervous adrenaline coursed through her body when she cried out for the person to answer and all she could hear her voice echoing against the walls. Her feet were unbound, and it was only her hands with the chain around her waist keeping tied to a metal pole. She tried to look behind her and started to work at the chain trying to squeeze her hands to make them smaller and wiggle out of the bindings. It was causing an ache from being bound in this awkward position, and she had to take breaks. She wanted to slide down and rest her legs, but she knew that it might make getting free almost impossible.

~

Abby stood waiting at the gates, left open for Clarke return. She was late, but wasn't worried, just concerned why her daughter hadn't arrived. Remembering her little girl had this streak running through her; talented when it came to her art but tended to get distracted when she needed her to concentrate on learning a skill, like following in her footsteps. She checked the sky shading her eyes finding the sun. It was almost at its peak.

Octavia approached her from behind. She had stayed overnight with her friends and had drunk quite a bit and nursed a bit of hangover. "Hey, still no Clarke?" Octavia blinked her eyes from the sun's bright light.

"No, could you..." Abby stopped when Octavia put her hand up.

"I'll check to see what's keeping her." Octavia kept to herself the juicy information she learned from Lincoln last night. That it seemed the leader of Trikru had bedded Clarke but didn't want to be the one to tell her mother and Lexa probably still had in her bed. But did wonder why she could be late, surely Clarke was looking forward to seeing home. Octavia stopped and asked over one shoulder, "Maybe you should ask around if someone is missing."

"Good idea," Abby said. Octavia must have been thinking the same thoughts, maybe someone wasn't happy with the idea of joining the coalition and decided to interfere.

Octavia walked the short distance back the Commander's camp and stopped one of the warriors asking about Clarke. He indicated with his head what direction Clarke left from this morning, and it was the same route Octavia took from Camp Jaha. She closed her eyes, and cursed and ran towards Lexa's tent.

"Heda, Clarke is missing."

Lexa stood outside of her tent, and her eyes caught Octavia's trying to read her face. She hesitated as painful thud charged through her heart. Panic made her shake, but she pushed it down. Then anger replaced it causing her to clench her fists. Her immediate thought was Skaikru had harmed Clarke.

“We thought she would have arrived by early morning, so I came here to find out if she left." Octavia stopped seeing her anger.

Lexa pushed passed Octavia and called out, “Who saw Clarke leave this morning?”

Glenus approached his Commander and pointed the way she took out of their camp. Trackers were soon scouring the area for the horse's tracks. “Heda, over here,” Glenus shouted. He pointed to the marks on the ground, and it showed that the horse had moved towards a different direction from both camps. The weight of another person on the horse was evident by the deeper steps of the horse's hooves.

“This would lead back to Mount Weather,” Octavia said.

“Send word back to Camp Jaha that we are going to search for Clarke,” Lexa told Octavia.

Octavia started her way back just as Abby and Bellamy walked into their camp hands raise when her warriors brought their swords out to bare.

"Chil daun," Lexa barked at her men and they their lowered their weapons.

“Can we help Commander?” Abby asked.

“Who do you think might have taken Clarke?”

“We are not sure,” Bellamy said. “There are a few people still angry about Mount Weather, and we are searching for them now. One is missing.

“Who is missing?” Lexa demanded.

“His name is Jasper,” He said.

Octavia closed her eyes cursing under breath. She could guess why he had taken Clarke. Her friends told her last night how Jasper had changed and wasn't the goofy kid with the aviator goggles and friendly smile. He had grown up and inward after losing his friend Maya. After the mountain had fallen even though Clarke saved their people it had changed him, even Monty couldn't reach him.

“Please don’t kill him, let us deal with him,” Abby pleaded.

"You will free him to harm another." Lexa narrowed her eyes at Abby and saw the shake of her head.

"No Commander. If he has taken my daughter, I will take off his head off myself."

Lexa held Abby's gaze trying to measure this woman. A stranger really, but she was Clarke's mother, and if the peace were to last she would have to allow them to take care of their own. “Then I will bring him back alive,” Lexa promised. “Both of them.” She motion Octavia back to her side and gave her quiet instruction, and Octavia nodded her understanding of her orders.

Lexa turned and yelled at her men, “Gonas maun op!”

"Sha, Heda," The gathering group of warriors shouted back.

Bellamy held up his hands blocking Lexa way. “I’m going with you.”

Lexa first reaction was to bat the boy out of the way, but thought of Clarke and what they were trying to achieve and acquiesce to his request and nodded to her warrior to give him his horse.

~

Jasper paced outside the room he left Clarke, then moved aimlessly down the hallway, his anger with her had not subsided, even after the blow he inflicted on her. He was still so angry and wanted to yell in her face. Scream at her for killing Maya and everyone else at Mount Weather. She was the killer. She killed people. He wasn’t like that. He was different. He put his hands to his head trying to silence the screams he heard nightly. Nothing was fair. Someone needed to pay for all of this death.

He left the hallway and walked to the mess hall. The place was where everyone had died. It was empty now. He spent the time grieving as he moved bodies outside into a pile for burning. No one had been back to Mount Weather after everyone had been freed, rescued by Clarke and Bellamy.

He shook his head again. _No, no, no._ It was all Clarke's fault everyone died. Jasper fell against a wall and slid down the wall in anguish, his overwhelming grief of not being able to save Maya haunted him.

~

Clarke shook her freed hand and squeezed into a fist trying to bring back the circulation and worked on the other one. The ache in her shoulder had slowed the process down with her throbbing head. Growing worried because she was starting to see double. She couldn’t be sure if it were blood loss or the blow and hoped that it was the lack of food and water. The chain grew looser and slipped a little more from her hand, twisting until the chain dropped to the ground. It released the pressure on her chest and waist and felt to the floor. Clarke immediately reached for her head, hissing at the tender lump covering part of her forehead. Holding her head and walked across the room and sat down in one of the chairs to rest, carefully touching her aching head and pulled her hand away it now coated in fresh blood.

"Fuck."

Clarke thought of her mother, and what to do next and searched the shelves in the back of the room and found an old shirt. Ripping by hand caused her swim and leaned against the wall. It took longer than it should have but managed to fix a pad of material and wrapped with a length of a sleeve around her head. All the while, Clarke couldn't stop her tears from falling afraid what might happened to her. Her head ached from the pain. No one knows where she is. Her thoughts when to Lexa and feared what she might do when she finds out she's gone.

But whoever kidnapped her hadn't killed her yet and eyed the chain on the ground. Clarke wrapped a length of it around one hand to use as a weapon and checked door finding locked. She kicked the door and screamed, "Let me out!" She put her ear to the door listening for any sound. It was quiet. Maybe her kidnapper had left her there to die. Surely she would if no one could find her. She wasn’t sure what part of Mount Weather she was in, and she had only been in a few places before it fell, this room didn’t remind her of any of them. She kicked again out of frustration. The room tipped sideways as her head started to spin, and tried to grab onto the door handle and laid her head against to rest but the feeling wouldn’t past she moved backward and reached for the chair to sit down and the motion of turning made the dizziness worsen and collapsed onto the floor unconscious.

~

Jasper returned to the room and found Clarke on the ground near the door and tilted his head to the side and thought she looked dead, like Maya. He kicked at her legs, and she didn’t move. The blood covering her face reminded him of the discoloration of radiation scars that had covered Maya’s face and body. Clarke moaned and tried to get up and as she opened her eyes and saw him standing there. Not moving just staring at her with a blank expression.

“Jasper?” Clarke said weakly, “Why...?” she said before passing out again. He stood for a moment watching her then left her, closing the door.

~

Lexa and her men dismounted when the found the chestnut mare, Fotam tied to a nearby tree and was munching on at the green sprouts that covered the ground, unharmed. She motioned for her men to flank either side of the door, and Lexa and Bellamy would take the forward position. Sounds from the inside and Lexa pulled Bellamy aside as the door open, waiting for a beat. Lexa drew her sword and with a yell caught the man walking outside, spinning him around and slamming him against the wall and had her blade to his throat in an instant.

Jasper didn't struggle. His eyes came up to meet hers, and he held her gaze for a moment and motioned with his hand saying. "She's inside the last door on the right.

"Bind him. I want him out of my sight. Use the mare to take him back to Camp Jaha, don't hurt him." She gave her warrior a stern look, and he bowed pulling Jasper away by the front of his coat.

~

Out of the haze, Clarke could hear people moving around and talking but unable to understand what they are saying at first. Then a clear voice came easier to understand.

“Grab her legs, put her over here,” The voice requested.

The voice was familiar as she tried to sit up. “Easy, don’t move we’ve got you, Clarke.”

Her eyes were too heavy to open, and she tried to reach out when a hand grabbed hers and squeezed. “I’m right here Clarke.” The voice she knew was Lexa's. They found her.

“It was Jasper,” Clarke mumbled.

“We know, Clarke. He's on his way back Camp Jaha. We’re getting a stretcher to move you,” Bellamy said.

Lexa kneeled behind her holding her head up and offered Clarke water. "Drink Clarke."

Clarke did and wiped at her mouth and whispered, "Hey you." Clarke kept her eyes closed.

“Hey, yourself.” Lexa rubbed Clarke's hand. “You had me worried. Do you remember what happened?”

“Some of it, but I kept blacking out. I think Jasper struck me hard.” Lexa tensed up as her anger rose, but needed to push it down and focus on Clarke's injuries. If she didn't, she would slice the boy in half the next time she saw him.

Bellamy checked her head and winced. “I think you’re going to need some stitches, Princess.”

“Haha, ow ouch.” Clarke reached for her aching head.

“Okay, enough of the kidding around. Let’s get you out of here and back home,” Bellamy said.

Bellamy and Glenus grabbed either end of the stretcher, lifting her up and out of the room. Lexa stayed at her side holding her hand as they made their way out of Mount Weather and into the sunlight. Clarke could feel the strain in Lexa's hand and squeeze. Lexa returned the gesture looked down, the silent communication between understood.

The trip back to Camp Jaha was painful for Clarke, every bump and lost footing sent spasms through her head, one painful jolt causing her to hang her head over the edge of the stretcher and heave. They stopped moving and set Clarke down to catch her breath.

“We’re almost there Clarke, hold on a little bit longer,” Lexa said as she rubbed her arm.

“I’m trying. I have to keep my eyes closed because the passing trees are making dizzy and closing my eyes feels like the world is spinning. Maybe I should walk.” Lexa helped her stand. Bellamy got on the other side of Clarke as she got up on shaky legs. "Whoa, the ground is moving." Lexa looked back over Clarke's shoulders at Bellamy, and he shook his head.

"Will take it slow, let us know if you need to take a break okay?" He said.

The trip back took another hour and standing upright helped Clarke not feel so dizzy and sick to her stomach, and as they cleared the last group of trees and eyes came up to see their home. The sun almost set, and she wanted to check out what had been going on with the camp. But her eyes grew heavy, and she closed her eyes for a second to rest.

Lexa felt Clarke sag against them. “Open the gate,” Bellamy barked.

Yelling from behind the gate and its heavy doors swung open. They slow-walked Clarke inside along with Indra joining the group. Both Lexa and Indra turned around a watched the gates close, and they looked at each other with an uncertain fear. It was making her feel trapped. Bringing an injured Clarke home wasn't how Lexa wanted to start their peace process.

Abby came running out of the massive metal structure yelling orders to her people until her eyes fell on her daughter. Clarke's head had dipped down, and they laid her gently back down on a stretcher. Abby checked her pulse and touched her face, and she didn't wake.

"The walk back must have exhausted her," Abby said as she looked up at Lexa and mouthed a quiet, 'Thank you.

The stoic commander nodded her head and offered, “Clarke was my responsibly.” Octavia joined Lexa by her side as Star following on her heels. “Did you bring what I requested?”

“It’s in Clarke’s room, along with the other items you wanted.”

“Thank you, Octavia.”

~

“Set her down on this bed,” motioning to bed set up in the middle of the room. Abby went to work on Clarke checking her eyes first and overall condition. Clarke began to thrash her arms around, and Abby caught her before she struck her. "It's okay, honey. You're safe now." Clarke opened her eyes and looked around the room confused still thinking she was at Mount Weather. Her eyes found her mother’s face. “I've got you, Clarke."

An understanding was slowly dawning Clarke as she became aware of where she was. “Hey, Mom. Sorry, I’m late.”

Abby smiled and had tears in her, and kissed her on the forehead. “That’s okay we’re all so glad you’re back home honey. Do you know if you lost consciousness?

“When Jasper first hit me and then later inside the room he held me in. I’m I going to be okay?”

“We’re going to do a few tests and clean you up I’m almost certain you have a concussion.”

Lexa walked over the edge of the bed and didn’t hesitate to hold Clarke's hand. Abby was a little shocked by their interaction, and it felt like she was intruding on a private moment not quite sure what she was seeing.

“Can I help?”

A thousand questions crowded into Abby's mind. Wanting to question Clarke and what happened to her when she left but seeing that Clarke had a connection to the Commander she didn't hesitate and said, “Sure, could you give me a hand with her clothes. I want to make her comfortable." Pointing out a gown she could wear and a comfy blanket to cover her.

Lexa went to work and helped Abby slipped off Clarke's boots and removed her coat and shirt off, fitting the gown around her back and helping her put her arms through the sleeves.

“Clarke, I need to remove your pants,” Lexa said. Reaching for the snaps and opening them up.

Clarke was feeling a little feisty and little groggy unable to stop her words from tripping out, “Ooo Heda, you’re making me swoon.”

Lexa’s eye shot wide opened and looked across at Abby and then down at Clarke who had a playful grin on her face. Lexa closed her eyes, and her cheeks turned a bright red that went all the way to the tips of her ears.

“Umm, I’ll give you two a moment.” Abby walked to the other side of the room to grab some tools.

“Clarke, do you know where you are?” Lexa continued to remove her pants, not looking up the where Clarke's mother was standing her cheeks still burned with embarrassment.

“Yes, I do know. I’m with the love of my life.” Clarke helped removed the rest of her pants when her fingers slid to her undergarment to remove them off when Lexa's hand stop her.

“You’re with your mom, at Camp Jaha.” She tried to emphasize the words distinctly, “Do you understand Clarke?”

Clarke looked around the room and then back at Lexa. “Did I say that out loud?”

Lexa looked relieved. “Yes, you did. It’s okay. We just need more comfortable. You were hurt.”

Clarke reached for her head and grimaced, “I’m starting to remember more. I left your camp this morning to go to see my mom. I think...” She paused “I think I was almost at the edge of the forest when someone hit me. I woke up inside Mount Weather. I knew that because I could smell death all around me." She stopped and remembered the horse. "Fotam, is she all right?"

"She's fine Clarke. We found her right outside Mount Weather."

"She's so pretty Lexa, thank you," Clarke murmured, her eyes closed as the weight of the day slowing her down. Lexa tucked the blanket around her body and up around her shoulders.

Abby walked back to the edge of the bed. “That’s all for now. I’m going set up an I.V. for Clarke to get her hydrated. I’ll have the kitchen prepare you a meal, and I'll bring you both something to eat. Lexa, you can stay here for a bit. Then she needs to rest.”

“Bellamy said I needed stitches,” Clarke mumbled with eyes closed.

Abby checked the top of her head. “There’s quite a bit of blood with head wounds like this. Will wash this out and see just how deep the cut is for now.” Abby gently removed the blood-soaked bandages and examined the area. “It’s bad, but I think we can close it with a few stitches.” She leaned over and kissed her head again. “I’m so glad you’re home and safe. I’ve missed you so much.”

Abby started to clean and sew the wound closed and dress it while Lexa watched. Clarke kept her eyes on Lexa’s concerned face and her eyes filled with tears at the pain. She felt the world come down on her again. Nothing had changed. She wondered how many of her friends blamed her, and she couldn’t keep the sadness inside any longer.

“I’m so sorry mom that I couldn’t stay.” Clarke felt her grief again as in the first days after the mountain fell.

“Shhh. It’s okay. I don’t want to you to worry about anything. Everything is okay. Will talk in the morning all about your time away. For now, I want you to rest. I know that everyone is eager to see you. Your friends missed you honey, but we’re just glad your home.” Abby left and returned with their meals saying she would check on her later.

They ate her meal in silence, Lexa helping Clarke hold her bowl as they both ate their first meal today. Her friends had waited at the door, just happy to see she was home and safe.

~

Abby joined Jaha and Marcus to discuss what to do with Jasper. “He snapped,” Jaha said.

“He could have killed my daughter, in space, he would have floated for this.”

“I know, but we’re not in space anymore and will have to deal with this in another way Abby. He’s not making any sense now. I’ve talked to a few of his friends, and all say that he’s been distant and disappears for days. Some thought he was suicidal,” Kane added.

“Has he said anything?” Jaha asked.

Abby and shook his head. “Nothing that makes any sense. He’s mumbling and pacing the room he’s locked up in.”

“I’ll examine him later. For now, I want to get Clarke well.” As she stood up to leaving Monty stepped into the room.

“Sorry. I heard you talking." Then he offered, "He was upset with Clarke because he lost his friend, his girlfriend Maya at the mountain. He blames her for all the deaths.”

Abby sat back down and motion for Monty to sit down.

“Have you been able to talk to him, Monty?”

“Just a little bit, he doesn’t talk about Maya anymore, it’s all about Clarke. He’s fixated on her. After she left he seem to get a little better, but ever since Octavia came back and said that she was returning, he changed and closed himself off from all of us. I couldn’t reach him anymore. I really tried.”

“It’s not your fault, don’t blame yourself. We’ve all been through so much, will work this out somehow,” Abby assured him. “I’m going to sedate him and have a guard watch him for now. Maybe time and rest are what everyone needs right now.”

~

Abby watched from the door of the sick bay at her daughter as she rested, Lexa never left her side. She had laid her head down next to Clarke, and Abby thought of how very young she looked as she slept. Abby knew of responsibilities and strength she carried. Lexa was a leader of her people, and yet here she was at her daughter side, caring for her. Abby quietly moved into the room and next Lexa. She gently touched her shoulder to wake her.

“Commander.”

Lexa raised her head up, and her eyes looked tired to Abby. “I’ll watch her now, why don’t you go to Clarke’s room and you can see her in the morning. I’ll have someone escort you to her room.”

“Thank you, I’ll see you in the morning.” Lexa left the room. Octavia had been waiting for her outside the room and led her to Clarke’s chamber.

“There’s water and food over here.” She pointed to a table. “I’ve fed Star already so just get some rest. Indra will be standing guard for you till morning.”

“Very well, Octavia. Thank you for your help today.” Lexa closed the door and put her head against the door. Exhaustion and worry crept up on her, and it was all she could do to just stripped off her coat and boots and fall on the bed. Star sniffed at her legs hanging over and jumped up and curled next to her side, and Lexa pulled her close to her chest and curled up with her. The tears that she had been holding since Clarke disappeared started to fall onto Star’s fur and she buried her face in her side, she couldn’t keep her tears in any longer. Clarke could have died, again. The thought of that broke her, and she continued to rock Star until she fell into a fitful sleep.


	17. Chapter 17

Thelonious Jaha crossed his arms over chest as he watched the metal workers install the new plaque over the gate leading into their camp. The decision had been lead by Jaha to change the name. He didn’t want a monument to for him alone. This home was for all their people, to the people who lived and died and made the ultimate sacrifice.

His face lit up with a satisfied smile as Marcus approached eyeing the new name with approval and said to him, “I think we need to celebrate, Kane.”

Marcus shaded his eyes from the morning sun and stated, “I think you’re right. Now that Clarke is back, and the talk of peace with the grounders has made our people hopeful. With the Commander at her side, I hope that it’s possible.”

Jaha clapped his old friend on his back. “Anything is possible.” He smiled back up at the sign. “Yes, anything is possible now.”

~

Raven limped along the hallway making her way around the Alpha Station until she stood just outside the sick bay finding Clarke having a morning meal. They had a complicated relationship she would admit. Losing Finn to Clarke, with Clarke rejecting him and then when she took his life to spare him a horrible death at the hands of the grounders for his crime of killing innocents. The bitter taste of the last few months on Earth had taken a toll on her as well as Clarke. But she had found a way to forgive her mainly because they depended on each other too much.

Wincing at the large bandage that covered Clarke's head, and saw the purple bruise on her forehead from the blow she suffered at the hands of Jasper and Clarke stopped in mid-bite as Raven approached her side.

“Hi,” Clarke said around a mouth full of food.

“Well, I never thought I see you again.” Raven stared at her with an uncertain expression on her face until her lips finally broke into a wide grin. “Damn, I’ve missed you, Griffin.”

Raven bent over and hugged Clarke carefully. “You have no idea what I've been through these past few months I think I missed you the most, but don’t tell anyone,” Clarke teased.

Raven laughed, “Are you kidding? Of course, I’m going to tell. Clarke missed me the most guys,” she kidded by holding her hand up and quietly yelling.

“How’s the leg?”

“It aches and is sore most mornings. The numbness is still there, but once I get moving it limbers up. Abby thinks that maybe in few months the brace can come off and she can fit me into something more comfortable. I'll probably use a cane for the rest of life. I'm happy to be alive.

“Wow, that’s incredible news.” Clarke was surprised at how much she missed Raven and reached for her hand. “I’m sorry I left you guys.”

“We know Clarke. It was hard for all of us, but I understand how it must have affected you most of all. We’ve decided to move forward. We have too, after what Jasper...” Raven stopped and shook her head. Pretty pissed off at what he pulled. “Well, we've all agreed we can’t blame any one person for all that's happened. We have to move forward. The talk of peace with Lexa’s people has everyone excited, and I heard we are going to have a celebration tonight.”

Clarke’s eyes went wide with excitement. “Ooo, I like that sound of that.”

“What’s this?” Abby said as she walked into the room carrying a box of medical supplies.

“Raven’s told me we’re going to have a party tonight.”

Abby's eyes immediately darted to Raven. "I couldn’t wait to tell her Abby.”

Abby held her tongue from scolding Raven. “That’s the word. I guess it would be okay if you go. Do you think that the Commander would like to join us?”

“I’m sure I can talk her into it. Where is she now?”

“She’s in your room with your puppy. Now tell me how you found her?”

“Star is a wolf cub, Mom,” Clarke told of the big cat and Star’s heroic mother, and how she killed the predator and how the little cub appeared and Clarke didn’t have the heart to abandon her. How at night Star snuggled with her against the cold. “She’s my cuddle buddy.” Clarke's smile then got a little serious, “She helped me feel my humanity and keep me grounded. Star was my responsibly. It’s hard to explain Mom, but I know deep down in my heart I was meant to find her.”

“I think I understand Clarke. With little ones, it can put your life in perspective.” she reached up and ran her hand along Clarke’s face, and she closed her eyes at the sweet gesture, maybe now understanding a little better of a mother’s duty.

Lexa strolled into the room at the moment with the wolf at her heels. “Someone wanted to see you, Clarke.” Lexa picked Star up and placed her on Clarke’s lap.

“Hey, sweetie.” Star licked Clarke all over her face with Abby and Raven cooing all over this new distraction. Lexa waited in the background and saw love radiated from these women. A sight she hadn’t seen in a long time. That in their companionship reflected a kinship. In the middle, was Clarke and the affection she had holding onto Star. Clarke smiled up at her with that same love. Lexa was relieved to see Clarke's bright face and eyes. But, what she also saw was hope.

Lexa's face held the strain from last twenty-four hours and Clarke tilted her head raising an eyebrow as if to say. _Are you okay?_ Lexa nodded her head.

Abby saw out of the corner of her eye their silent interaction and touched Raven’s arm guiding her to the back of the room with the pretense to check out her brace and to leave them alone for a moment.

Lexa gingerly touched the uninjured side of Clarke's head. “How are you feeling?”

“It stings. The dizziness is passing, but I’ve got my hunger back.”

"Clarke, I never thought that was your problem.” Lexa ran her hand alongside her face and turned around to see if anyone was watching them. When she felt it was safe, she closed the distance between them and placed a soft kiss on her forehead then down quickly to her lips. “I’ve never been so scared in my life Clarke. I don’t think I can let you out of my sight again,” she softens the statement with another smile.

“I’m okay. I was frightened, but I knew you would find me.”

“Do you think your mother will let you take a stroll with me and get some fresh air, that’s if you’re up for it?”

Clarke kept her eyes on Lexa as she called to her mother, “Mom?”

“Yes, you can go for a short walk, and I want you to take it slow if you start feeling dizzy. I want you back here immediately, understand?” Abby directed her question at Lexa.

“I’ll bring her back if she starts feeling ill...” Lexa paused not sure how to address Clarke's mother.

“Call me Abby, okay?”

“Yes, Abby and thank you for taking care of Clarke, and I’ll bring her back in a short time.”

“I’ll walk out with you guys,” Raven said.

Abby was surprised by Lexa’s statement. The Commander radiated a humbleness that bespoke a quiet, thoughtful leader who cared deeply for her daughter. It had been this young woman who after her betrayal and searched for her daughter after she had left and brought her back home in relatively one piece. Lexa had earned Abby’s trust after everything Clarke had been through, and she hoped her people would see the same thing that they did.

Abby noticed the change in Clarke, how her face lit up as Lexa helped dress her, seeing the connection between them as Lexa wrapped her arm around her back and watched them leave with Star by their sides. A feeling of joy radiated from these two women.

~

Clarke's friends gathered around her as they stepped out into the sunlight. One by one took time to hugged and tell her what they had been doing and how much they missed her. Lexa stepped to the side and watched her interact with her friends. The confirmation of friendship that Clarke still had with her people was just the thing that she required to help her heal. Clarke needed to know how much her friends cared about her.

She could see Clarke between her friends greeting her, and she peeked back at her and gave her small wink. Her way of telling her she was okay. After everyone had said their hellos, she joined her again, and they walked the grounds surrounded the remains of the Ark.

“They’ve been busy,” Clarke remarked at seeing small homes under construction for housing some of her people. The Alpha station itself could have held them, but after spending their lives inside of this tin can, the feeling of openness and fresh air you couldn’t put a price. A few sky people were cultivating small gardens and making a new life on the ground. Clarke thought of the items they had found on their trip. “Did you happened to bring the case we found?”

“I had Octavia retrieve it from our tent. It's in your room, Clarke. Would you like to examine it again?”

“In a minute, I want to enjoy all of this for a moment.” Clarke spread her arms out and let the sun hit her face. “I never thought I would feel this way again. It was because of you Lexa,” Clarke said as she looked back to her. Lexa hid her embarrassment and finding an interesting thing to focus her attention on and kicked at a rock at her feet.

Clarke became smitten by her reaction and reached for her hand rubbing the outside, hooking her pinky finger with Lexa’s as they walked towards the open gate and looked up at the new sign hanging over the entrance.

As they had walked along, Lexa considered Clarke’s remarks. “I’m glad I could be part of this with you, Clarke and to bring you back to your family.”

“Lexa, I know what we have between us is new. At least in this lifetime, but I feel closer to you than anyone I have ever know.” Star darted between them chasing a butterfly fluttering near the ground causing them to stop and watch for a moment. She became distracted by a leaf mouthing it and flipped it up into the air then they continued walking along the fenceline. “We have this new beginning between us that wasn’t possible a few months ago. We have each other again, I believe in you, Lexa. That night, when you told me of time you’ve been alone and not being able to find a connection to another person, I feel that. I know of that longing and having to push that aside and deal with the duties of your position. But now that we have some time to relax I have to ask you if ever just had fun?”

“Not since I was a child. As Heda, my _fun_ is working with my fighters in swordplay, Clarke.”

Clarke smirked and shook her head, “Well, that doesn't count as actual fun, Lexa. I want to change that if you’re willing.”

“You already have Clarke.”

That comment earned Lexa a blazing smile from Clarke. They let the quiet settle between them as their eyes met with a clear understanding and Lexa guided her back towards the station and Clarke turned around to watch the mingling crowds. It was so different from what she remembered. Everyone looked happy, and a brighter future seems possible. The fear she thought might be a part of them was gone, and now she saw hope in their faces.

Clarke met her mother inside the Alpha station and let her know that she felt like resting in her room instead of the sick bay and taking up space. Abby almost put her foot down, and Lexa promised she would make her rest. Of that, she had no doubt.

Clarke heard the distinct sound of Raven down the hallway instructing a young worker, coming their way and called out her, “Hey girl. You’re just the person I’m looking for, can you meet me in my room later?”

“I've got some time now for you, Princess. Let me show this joker where I want this box.” Raven continued down the long hallway, and they made their way towards Clarke’s room.

“Why do your friends call you, Princess?”

Clarke rolled her eyes. “Finn use to call me that, I guess it kind of stuck. Probably because of my parents. With mom being a doctor and my dad...my father was an important person on the Ark, and I guess that it gave them status, but it didn't help in the end with my father. He died trying to save everyone.”

Clarke thought of her father and all he had tried to do to protect their people made her believe that all of his effort towards surviving had worked. Clarke would hope could she continue his legacy. Saving their people and thriving, living not just existing.

Clarke's bedroom held her belongs from the Ark and found her clothes and artwork. Surprised that it survived the trip from space and that her mother saved it for her. She pulled out the metal storage device from the metal case and eyed its markings.

“I’m hoping that Raven can retrieve the data on this device. Who knows what type of information it might hold.”

“Could it be dangerous, Clarke?”

“Hard to say, but I don’t believe that they would have saved something on that if it was harmful just as their world blew up.”

Lexa motioned Clarke towards her. “Sit down and rest. Can I get you anything?”

“Just this.” Clarke sat next to her on the bed. “I missed you.” Clarke kissed her lips and pulled back. She rested her head on Lexa's shoulder they stayed that way until Raven poked her inside knock on the open door.

"So what's up, Clarke?"

"Hey, could you check this out for me.” Clarke held up the device, and Raven started examining its markings.

“Oh, I have seen these before. Where did you find this?”

“Long story, Do you think you can retrieve information from it?”

“Depends. It’s old, but it’s in excellent condition. I’ll be right back.” Raven limped out of the room without another word. A short time later came back with a rolling metal table with her technical gear stacked on the top and bottom shelves.

“Help me plug this in.” Clarke grabbed the cord and attached it to a wall socket. The machine powered up, and Clarke watched as Lexa’s eyes opened wide with concern.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Lexa nodded and watched Raven go to work on the strange box.

“So, let’s see what we’ve got here.” She took the metal device and slid the cover off, and slipped into the powered unit and the lights started to flicker to life. “Okay, it does have information stored in about, wow thousands of folders. Let me check the storage space. Damn, this has over hundred petabytes, and it looks like more than three quarters is filled up with information. I didn't know they got them this small. Let’s see. There’s books, movies, and pictures. Damn, it holds a lot of information Clarke. Wow, I’m blown away by this. Where did you say you found this?”

“We found it traveling back here.” Clarke leaned over. “Open up this folder.” Raven position the pointer to open up a file called _Holidays._ Clarke pointed out an icon, and Raven clicked on it. They both leaned back as the picture came into view.

“This is remarkable Clarke.”

All of this was before the bombs fell. Picture after picture showed happy people and a lake filled with boats and families gather on the shore what looked like a celebration. Clarke pointed to a sign that said. _Happy 4th of July_.

Raven clicked on another icon, and it was a video of what appeared to be Christmas. A family was opening presents, and there was a fire in the fireplace. It the background people gathered around a table with a huge feast.

Lexa was in awe. She had no idea that this was the world before Trikru. Before all the clans. What puzzled her the most was that they had destroyed their world. It made no sense to her.

“I could spend hours and hours looking at all of this. We need to show this to the council.”

“Can we hold off on that for now?”

“Sure, but we need to share this with everyone. With this much data, I hope it has books on engineering and farming. Hell, it could hold every book that was ever written and music. My mind is racing. I can’t imagine what information it might contain. This data is a great find, Clarke.”

“See that’s just it, I don’t want it used for anything destructive. I made a promise to Lexa.”

Raven looked at Lexa’s concerned face. “Oh, sure. Yes, of course. Nobody wants that. I’ll leave this here for now. I’ll let you tell Abby and the council. Deal?”

“Deal. Thanks, Raven. Thanks for everything.”

“No problem. Will we see you later?”

“Probably, I need to rest for a bit.”

"You want the door open and closed?"

"Closed," They both said in unison. Raven left them, and Clarke laid down but not before she pulled out the book from the case.

Lexa ran her hand along Clarke's face feeling a little heat from the bruise on her head. “You need to rest, Clarke.”

“In a little bit. I just want to reread the inscription.”

Lexa opened the book to the first page and held the book up for both of them to read. Taking time to ponder these words from almost a hundred years ago. “You think that they are us, Clarke?” Watching as Clarke ran her fingers along the words.

“I feel connected to them, somehow. It seems real to me and that last line, though. You feel that also?”

“I do feel it in my heart Clarke." Lexa had time to recall her dreams from her journey and said, "Do you remember the bad dreams I had?”

“Are you ready to share them now?” Clarke was feeling tired and held Lexa around her waist and closed her eyes.

Lexa began quietly to tell of her dreams, “I was in an unfamiliar landscape and trailed after a young girl, at the time I sense it was you. I remembered at the time that we were happy and surrounded by a lush green forest. It was long before everything changed the world turned to ash and fire, and the girl wasn't in front of me anymore. I searched what seems like hours, and I would always find her broken body, and it would wake me out of my dream.”

Clarke yawned and said, "I felt that way on our journey back here. I had dreams also. Well, maybe not quite dreams, more like intense feelings right before we stopped and found those bodies and their property.”

“I feel awake, more awake than I have for a long time, Clarke. It’s as though, now that we are reunited, it is our time to live our lives as we were meant to as it brought us on the right path again.” Lexa paused. “I’m not sure if I’m making any sense.”

“You are, I understand completely.” Clarke turned to look at her again. “We will write our own story. Will continue our journey.” She leaned over and kissed her again. “It is nice we can read how they lived their lives, and we won’t forget them.” Clarke held her tighter. “We’re here now, Lexa. Always remember that. We found each other through everything that has happened. I’m not letting you go by the way.”

Lexa shut her eyes and smiled. “I’m not letting you go either Sky Girl.”

“Have you had any more nightmares since?”

Lexa looked at her and pushed the hair out of her eyes. “No, not one.” She leaned over and kissed her bruised head and held her close. Clarke melted into her embrace and squeezed her tighter. Clarke padded the bed's surface, and Star joined them and curled next to their sides.

~

Clarke’s pushed herself up off of the bed and sat on the edge. Her head had started to throb again, and nausea had come back. Lexa called for Abby to joined them their room and waited by the door as she made her way inside and set her medical kit aside, and put her hand to Clarke's forehead.

“I heard you’re not feeling good. I hope you didn’t overdo it today.” She took inventory of Clarke’s condition. Checking her bandage and eyes.

“We were only outside for a short time. I’ve been feeling pain in my stomach, and achy all over, my breast hurt and nausea just started.”

Abby contemplated a diagnosis, pressing her stomach causing Clarke to pushed her hands away at the pain. “This is a delicate question but I have noticed this in the other girls, have you begun to bleed yet? You’re showing the same signs they did.”

“Bleed?”

“The implants for birth control have been failing in a few of the girls, and you’ve been through so much in the past months with all the stress it may have just stopped working properly. I could remove it and let your body do what it would do naturally.”

“I don’t think so. I guess I would have noticed if I did.” Clarke worried and was unfamiliar with the pain in her belly.

“I can give you something for the discomfort and will have to teach you about how to keep clean now that it looks like you may be starting your cycles.” Abby looked at Lexa. “How do your young woman handle this issue?”

Lexa was reluctant to talk about this private matter. She blushed again and shook her head. “I’m...we don’t speak of these things. I don’t...” Lexa sat down and put her hands in her lap. “Not every woman experience the blood. I have on occasion, and it usually doesn’t last long.”

Clarke looked up at her and smiled. Lexa sharing of this private subject with her brought a new facet to Lexa she never knew even to ask.

“Well, it’s going to be hard until your body gets used to this adjustment period. It might take six months to a year to balance out your hormone level. I would have liked all the woman to have them removed. We don’t need them anymore. I would like just to let nature take its course. I’m sure that a few couples would like to start families.”

Abby looked at both of them. The question held on her tongue, but she decided to wait to ask Clarke what her plans might be for the future. “I have some items you can use if you do start, I’m sure that Lexa can show you how to use them. Would that be okay with you?” She directed the question toward the Commander.

Lexa blushed hard again and just nodded her head and walked to the table to pour herself a glass of water. After drinking it down and filling it again, she put the glass to her forehead to cool the red down that covered her face. Lexa was never this embarrassed in her life until this moment with Clarke and her mother.

Abby said before she left, “Oh, sex helps with the cramps.”

Lexa’s eyes went wide, and Clarke burst out in uncontrollable laughter holding her head. “Ow, oh my god, I’m so sorry,” she said between laughs. “I think she was kidding with you.”

Lexa shook her head and started to laugh a bit, putting her hands on her face. “She’s not wrong by the way.” Lexa peeked through her fingers at Clarke’s face.

That stopped Clarke’s laughing.

~

Clarke had indeed started, and Lexa showed her how to wear protection. It was a strange feeling she felt deep in her gut. The pain medicine helped and hoped that it would soon be over. Lexa had assured her that it does indeed end, and she would help her relax once they return to their room.

Lexa walked with Clarke out into the cooling evening. Sky people gather around the fire where the freshly caught game was roasting over the campfires. They could hear the laughter from her friends as they sat around a table and played drinking games. The elders had grouped and were talking about old times.

“It’s a beautiful night Clarke. Your friends are happy you’re home.”

“I’m am too.” Clarke looked at the sky and wondered. The stars were exceptionally bright, and the air filled with joy she and was about to burst. “I know we haven’t even begun to negotiate our peace treaty with Trikru, and I was hoping that we could start tomorrow.” She looked at Marcus and her mother, and they both nodded in her direction as she guided Lexa around the camp.

“We have much to discuss. What to do with Mount Weather. You said something about taking an inventory of their supplies.”

“Yes, that would be a start. We have much to offer the other clans. We have teachers, engineers, and builders. A few of our people are skilled farmers. The lands around here would be great to start small farms. I know the biggest issue is it’s not our land. We are sitting in Trikru territory.”

“That is correct Clarke, but this is where we could be barter with exchanges of goods.”

“Tonight when we get back to our room I’ll start a list of items we will discuss.” They made their way back to her mother and Kane just as Jaha joined the group.

Lexa addressed the group, “Clarke and I would like to meet with you tomorrow if you’re agreeable. We would like to discuss our ideas of moving forward towards peace and bringing your clan into our coalition.”

“Well, that sounds great. We can meet early tomorrow,” Kane said looking towards Abby and Jaha.

Abby added, “We know that there are a few hard feelings yet to be dealt with, specifically with Jasper. We need to take the temperature of our people to their fears and hopes.” Abby looked to both of them for understanding.

“What is going to happen to him?” Clarke asked.

“He’s going to stay locked up for now, but you know that he won’t go unpunished. It’s just from my assessment of him so far I think he’s had a mental break down, and he may not be aware of his actions. Tomorrow I want to interview you and what happen why he took you.”

“I want to talk to him, mom.”

“That can be arranged, but only after you are better, in a few days?”

"I can wait. Thanks, Mom."

Kane spoke up, “Jaha you wanted to say something to the group.” He motioned for the crowd to gather around.

Jaha cleared his throat he put his hands together and began. _“My friends and guests, today we made a new step towards forming a new community on the ground. No longer will this camp be called Camp Jaha." Jaha lifted his hands to the sky. "We were conceived from the stations in the heavens and to that we pay homage to the people who came before us and to those who died here on earth. So to the people of the Alpha, Mecha, Factory and Farm Station, and the children of the dropship, I here proclaim we are now Arcaida_ _, People of the Sky.”_

Cheers rang throughout the camp, and the air turned electric. A new sense of belonging touched the crowd and everyone hugged one another a happiness filled the air.

Jaha put his hands out to quiet the crowd and continued, _“We hope to forge a new alliance with people of the earth. Join with me welcoming our new friends as we move into a new tomorrow where we will meet this new dawn and prosperous future.”_ He motioned towards Lexa, and the crowd politely clapped as Lexa nodded her head.

“I wasn’t expecting that, are you okay?” Clarke leaned over and whispered into Lexa’s ear as the crowds started to disburse.

Lexa quietly nodded her head again and nudged Clarke to walk with her away from the crowd. They continued walking around and greeted her friends as Clarke introduce Lexa. She smiled, but Clarke knew that she needed to move her away. Some people surround both of them was even making her a little nervous. Clarke looked up when heard a commotion coming from the gate.

Lincoln had arrived and waited to be let inside. As the gates opened, Octavia ran over to greet him. He hugged her, and he lifted her off the ground. “Hey handsome, I’ve missed you.” She looked down and kissed him.

“It’s been a long couple of weeks, but I need to see Heda.” He set her down and the walk towards his Commander.

Lincoln motion to Lexa and she left Clarke talking with her friends and showing off Star. “I’ve received this message from Polis.”

Lexa scanned the document. “Wait here, Lincoln.” She walked back to Clarke and took her aside. “I’ve just received a message from Polis. They need a response.”

“Is everything okay?”

“For now. There’s been a request by the clan leaders to meet regarding your people. The message didn’t indicate anything more than that. I will send a message of my return. I was hoping to take you with you with me. The journey for the other clan members will take some time for them to travel to Polis, but I would like to leave shortly.”

“You know that I’m coming with you?”

“Only if your mother clears you for the trip.”

Clarke guided them back into the station and to her room. Lexa wrote a short message and handed it to Octavia to give to Lincoln. “Tell Lincoln to give this to Glenus to deliver my message to Polis, and I want both of you back here today.” Octavia nodded and was thankful he wasn’t going on another long trip away from her.

They were back in Clarke’s room after they had eaten and had settled down on her bed. Her back was against the pillow, and Lexa sat next to her as she started to read the book they had found on their journey, opening to the first page she began.

******

Musings of an Amateur Writer

Introduction:

When my journey began so long ago as a young girl, my life had already been a trial of lost. My mother and father had separated and divorced when I was around the age of four. Then I began to understand, in my innocents that loss was to be expected, hell even apart from everyday life.

Who could say where I could have ended up in my life, but by chance, it with was my father, Adam Woods, where we lived in a lovely town outside of Gainesville, Virginia. Back in the late 1970s, I met a girl who would end up to be the love of my life and my soulmate.

The following short stories cover bits of those times that we shared over the span of our 70 odd years together.

Alexandra Teresa Woods-Griffin

***

“Wait, why is her name like that?” Lexa asks.

“Like what?”

“Woods-Griffin.”

“Oh, they were married, and they joined their last names, it was a common thing to do for married folks.”

Lexa pondered on this information for a moment. “I like that.”

Clarke smiled and kissed her cheek. “Me too."

 

***

_The Mouse and The Girl_

 For days a tiny mouse had been trapped in Clarke’s home, and after a while, it would show itself in the most inappropriately of ways. These mice had become frequent visitors because Clarke and her mother, Maggie were living in a new home when just a few short years before it had been an open field. So, the fact was, they were residing in the mouse’s dwelling, and the mice objected to their invasion _strenuously._

“Mouse!” Maggie called out as she ran to the kitchen in her only her bath towel and her hair dripping wet. The mouse had frightened Maggie from the bathroom when it had walked across the back of the toilet while she was in the shower.

“CLARKE!” Her mother yelled, and as was our usual habit, we were up in her treehouse drawing with Clarke’s new Spirograph game. It was a way to create a kaleidoscope of colors on paper using gears within wheels. Not being an artist myself, it let me feel as though I could be as talented as my partner, but that is for another story.

We rushed down the ladder and into the kitchen and found Maggie who was now standing on one of the dining room chairs, dripping wet and in a panic.

“Clarke, I know you don’t want me to kill that mouse, but we’ve got to get rid of it before it gives me a heart attack.”

“I know. Honestly, I thought that Jimi would have caught it by now, but he has been of no use.”

We all looked in the cat’s direction where he was leaning against a wall, and he stopped in mid-lick with his back leg stuck in the air, where he had been cleaning his fat orange belly.

“Were’s the mouse now?” Clarke asked. Her mother looked at herself in her bath towel and over to Clarke with an expression one could only guess, was my child that oblivious?

“Oh,” Clarke said with a laugh, and we ran to Maggie’s bathroom. Her mother had shut the door, and hopefully, the elusive mouse could be caught and released to the ‘wild,’ also known as their backyard.

“How are we going to catch it?” I asked Clarke. I could see the wheels spinning in her head, and she ran back into her room and came back with her pillowcase.

“You’re going to use that?”

I wasn’t sure this was going work, this mouse was fast and was probably pretty terrified of us as we were with it. I didn’t let on to Clarke about my fear of mice. I felt that it would show that I didn’t support her ideas. Crazy as some of them had been in the past.

“The mouse is going to get its mouse feet all over it, Clarke.”

“I’ll wash it later. I’m on a mission. I have to save its life and my mothers. I’m going in.”

“I’m staying here Clarke.”

My fear overcame my feeling of supporting her in this one endeavor. I hoped that she wouldn’t hold against me. Clarke smiled back at me reluctantly as she girded her loins, took in a breath and crossed herself and quickly opened the door, ducked inside and slammed it shut, and I waited.

I put my ear against the door trying to hear what she was doing. It was quiet for about a half second before I heard Clarke yelling and crashing into a wall, and then a terrified scream came out of her. It was impossible in such a small room, but it definitely sounded like Clarke was running. She cursed and then went silent. I held my breath not sure of what I was going to see when she opened the door, but just in case I stepped back and got on Maggie’s bed.

When Clarke opened the door, she put out the pillowcase in one shaky fist and stepped into the room. Clarke was covered in baby powder, and her hair was a mess. Her shirt was torn and hanging off of one shoulder, but she had caught that stupid mouse.

At that moment at the age of almost twelve years old, I realized that Clarke Siobhan Griffin was the bravest person I had ever known.


	18. Chapter 18

Nia rolled over after the young warrior had finished. Telling him to leave her sight, she wasn’t pleased as usual. The seasoned fighters she had called upon to bed her had grown slim, leading her to entice and take advantage of the younger warriors who had little standing in her clan. She could easily seduce inexperienced young men with strong drink and casual touches, luring them into her tent. The Queen used the younger men who were hoping to work up in ranks to bodyguards or her elite fighters that would give them power. All had come willingly to her, and once it had been fulfilling for both, now she grew tired of them. Clumsy young men with little or no experience. Nothing had satisfied her quite like her first love and the father of Roan. His untimely death had changed her heart, making her a bitter and vindictive woman.

The Queen wanted her people to fear the very ground she walked and give their obedience to her willingly, and sensing a surge of power when they would lay down their arms and not challenge her warriors in battle.

During the trip to Polis, her fighters conquered the small villages of Trikru clan that lined the borders and felt a surging lust over the dead. They never were able to withstand her army, and she lived for the bloodlust, the violence, and savagery.

In secret, she had been working with a few of the other clan leaders, willing to follow her and nearing the end of this secret war she had against Heda Lexa. She had sent in secret, thirty of her best men and women fighters to capture the slayer of the mountain and return with the skai girl they called Wanheda, Commander of Death, and the battle would be over. She would have her head and take her power, and Heda Lexa would be defeated and would become the ruler of all of the lands.

She pulled on a cloak and wiped the come between her legs. The young warrior hadn’t even penetrated her before he spilled his seed over her. She smirked at his pathetic attempt to please her. Tomorrow she’ll have him cut, let him believe he satisfied her. No matter to her, just another strong body to fight in her war is all she wanted.

~

It was late in the night, and Echo’s arms ached from her position tied to a pole. Her clan had bound her arms above her head and forced her to stand for hours, less she slips down and possibly dislocate a shoulder or cut off the supply of blood to her hands. She used the pole to leaned against keeping her upright, but she knew that it was only a matter of time before she wouldn’t be able to stand any longer. She had suffered numerous blows and cuts to her body over the course of a week after she joined her people after fleeing the mountain.

They said she was weak for being captured by the mountain men and for cooperation with the sky people and thought that they would outright kill her, but her Queen wanted information on the skai girl, named Wanheda, of which there was little. Explaining she left before the mountain fell, but the answer wasn't what the Queen wanted to hear. Echo did not have the foresight to know what had yet to transpire. But, those thoughts she kept to herself, for fear it would sound mocking to her Queen's ears. She knew not to beg for her life, that it was certain death. One utterance and her throat would be slit.

Echo was weak from lack of food and water, and she knew it was just a matter of time when the Queen would get tired of these games and kill her. Question after question from her Queen and every answer she gave the same, she didn’t know Wanheda, and it was a Skaikru man who helped her escape, and as for the rest, she knew nothing.

The only tears she shed was for her younger sister. Not the beatings and cuts with knives made her cry. Her heart ached for her kin. Nara was back in their home village unaware she may never see her again. She missed her inquisitive nature and wondered if she would suffer the same faith that would befall her. Will her sister die for her mistake? Echo had witnessed her people take out whole families when they had failed to support the Queen. A pain in her side took her out of her thoughts and shifted the weight to the other foot. It was only a matter of time for she wouldn’t be able to stand any longer.

~

A hidden figure watched the Azgeda camp from their vantage point high in the tree above. Spying Queen Nia's men, mingling around the campfire, listening as their rough language and laughter carried through the branches. Waiting for a chance when finally the warriors moved away from the tent guarding the lone prisoner, and still, remained quiet until the last of the sounds from the men faded away, leaving just the crackling fire below.

The slight figure took a quiet breath then crawled down tree almost missing the last branch, dropping to the ground and waited. Drawing courage from the silence, crawling to the back of the prisoner’s tent and paused in the quiet listening for movement of the guards. When it was safe, the figure pulled out a knife from a boot and cut through the material and pushed in a wrapped bundle and crawled on all fours to just inside. Standing and waiting perfectly still until their eyes adjusted to the blackness and listened to hear if someone had detected her movements, but heard only their heart beating in their chest.

A beam of moonlight bathed the partially clothed person hanging from a rope tied from the peak of the tent. They moved quieter still and raised a hand to cover the bound woman’s mouth, then moved to stand in front of her and revealed their presence.

Echo’s eyes flew open and caught her scream in her throat as relief flood through body recognized her sister's eyes when she pulled the cloth covering her face. Nara’s arms went around her waist and hugged her. Echo motion to the rope tied at the base of a pole and Nara worked quickly to cut the cord that held her up and rushed to catch her as she fell to the ground and removed the rope that bound her hands.

“Shh. Ai got yu,” Nara whispered as she rubbed Echo’s arms and helped her sit up. “I brought something for you to wear,” she pulled out dark clothes and started to rub black war paint around her sister's eyes, then handed her a fierce bone mask to hide her face. Echo slipped on the boots, and Nara gave her the knife, and they crept to the back of the tent she had entered.

Echo peeked out of the slit and then motioned to run into the forest after her. Stopping at hearing a movement and waiting until it passed then left the tent slipping quietly into the woods and kept running until they were well away from the encampment. It was miles away when they finally stopped to catch their breath. Nara looked over at Echo with grin covering face when she found her sister’s eyes again, grabbing her in a hug, almost crushing her.

“You’re safe now,” Nara breathed out as she knelt down and fished through her pack and gave her sister a skin of water and what little food she could steal and continued walking deeper into the forest.

“How did you find me?” Echo asked as she pulled off the mask and hid it in the brush and took a bite of bread.

“I stayed with the younger warriors and cut my hair and dressed like a skat. I wanted to be one of Queen’s fighters until I saw you get captured, and hurt you.” Nara grabbed her hand and put it her chest. “I tried to get to you sooner, but I had to wait until it was safe. The guards watching you left, and I was finally able to free you.”

Echo cupped her small face as she listened to her. “I’m glad you found me, sister, and saved my life. I will always be indebted to you. But know this, I was also worried about you.” Echo laugh gently, “I wouldn’t have recognized you if I hadn’t seen your eyes,” she rubbed her cropped hair on her head and pulled her into another hug. Echo held onto her as they walked into the darkened forest.

“Do you know where we are going?” Nara whispered.

“Yes, I met a skai gona who helped me escape the mountain who lives in the west, but we have to stay off the main path for now.”

The forest was quiet, but for their footfalls and as the traveled through the thickness while glowing eyes followed them. Nara held onto Echo’s hand, and the fear that she almost lost the only family she had left started to dissipate, and her world righted itself.

As they traveled through the night and into the morning, the light started to filter through the thick overhanging branches. Echo checked the sun now breaking through the thick of the forest and found a path that led westward.

“Will make better time now. We’re close now I think it’s just a few more miles.”

“Do you think that they will help us?”

“I hope so. My friend made a promise to free us. I think that we can trust him.”

“What’s his name?”

“Bellamy.”

~

The made their way through the trees and could see the beginnings of her friend’s camp. It wasn’t what Echo was expecting. She stopped Nara and knelt down bringing her beside her when she saw the large metal structure surrounded by an ominous fence and guards standing with weapons. People roamed around inside and looked as menacing as the mountain. Echo hoped that she hadn’t made a terrible mistake in trusting Bellamy.

“Listen, I need you to stay here. Let me find out if it is safe. If I’m wrong, and the sky people capture me, run. I’ll try to find a way to escape.”

“I don’t want you to leave Echo.” Nara clung to her arm and tried to pull her away and back into the forest.

Echo hugged her again. “I have to try. Stay down and watch for my signal, okay?” Nara nodded her head and stayed low on the ground and waited as Echo stepped into the opening between the trees and walked to the large gate and put her hands in the air. Shouting from the camp, and Nara went to her belly, crawling over to a see through the bushes, but not able hear what they were saying. Watching as her sister approach the gate. It was long minutes before she saw the gate open and her sister waving her over.

Nara hesitated until her sister motion again. Trusting in her sister's faith in these stranges and joined her by her side. Echo put her arm around her back, giving her reassuring smile as they walked inside, turning to look while the strangers closed the gate behind them. Nara shut her eyes and started to shake. She was hoping that didn’t escape one enemy for another.

"Echo!" In the distance, Echo recognized Bellamy, and he waved and met them in the midst of his camp and cautiously put his arms around her. “Hey, it’s good to see you again. Did someone hurt you?”

Echo looked around the camp and not at him directly. “Bellamy this is my sister Nara." Smiling at him and lied, "No, I got hurt falling after I escaped from the mountain.” She purposely kept the truth from and didn’t want to reveal that her clan had tortured her for information about the sky girl. She needed to find out what he knew and would they be safe.

Bellamy listened, and her story didn’t quite hold up to her injuries, especially the blacken eye from a fist. He understood that the grounders were not always forthcoming with information to strangers, even though he had made a connection to Echo at the mountain and nodded at her sister.

“It's nice to meet you, Nara. Let me take you inside. I have a friend who should check you over, is that okay?” Echo nodded and followed him into the large metal structure.

Bellamy escorted them down the hallways as Nara clung to Echo’s side. Explaining in strange words objects that meant nothing to her. Echo pulled her closer and sense from her they were walking into a trap.

A woman was treating a boy whose hand she wrapped in a white material. She looked up and motioned them into the room. Abby was in the sick bay tending to a deep cut to Wick’s hand. “Be careful next time and use gloves.”

“Yes, ma’am. “Wick jumped off the table and saluted the doctor and nodded to Bellamy as he left.

“Abby, these are my friends, Echo and her sister, Nara. I met Echo at Mount Weather when the mountain men captured us. Can you check her out?” Echo edged back. “No, no. It’s okay my friend won’t hurt you she’s not like the people at the mountain, I swear.” He put his hand lightly on her back and brought them both further into the sick bay. “You both must be starving. I’ll get you something to eat.” Bellamy left, and Echo looked around at the strange room. Afraid to move from her spot and pulled Nara closer to her.

Abby saw the fear in her eye and decided to take it slow with the grounders and motioned them to sit down next to her and pulled out her stethoscope to show her how it works. “You put these in your ears and then to your chest.” She let Echo try them on and showed her how to place them out on her sister’s chest. Her eyes went wide hearing her sister's heart beating loud in her ears and quickly pulled them off. Nara grabbed them and listened to herself. “See it doesn’t hurt right?” Echo nodded then took the device from her sister and handed it back to Abby. “Is it okay if I listen to your heart?”

“Yes, it is okay,” Echo replied.

Abby continued her examination and shook her head when she saw the bruises covering her back, chest, and arms. Pressing her hand into the larger bruises covering chest and seeing if she had broken bones. The black eye was bloodshot, and the rest of her face was scratched up and had cuts on her arms, but she was in relativity in good shape.

“The beating you took didn’t break any ribs, so I think if you take it easy for the next few days the bruises will fade. You'll be fine in no time at all."

Echo gasped, how did she know? Still, she said nothing of how she got her injuries and Abby didn’t press her for more information while Nara sat wide-eyed spinning on the metal stool she sat on.

“She’s young Echo,” Abby whispered.

“I’m almost ten,” the little girl said.

“Wow! Is that so?” Abby mused, and it brought a smile to her face.

“I’m going to a be a warrior,” Nara proudly stated.

“Really?”

“Hush, Nara.”

“She’s sound a lot like my daughter when she was her age.” Abby stood up and walked to the back of the room and came back with ointment for her cuts. She started to cover her scratches and cuts and then covering the larger ones with gauze and tape.

Bellamy returned and set down the tray. “Let me know if you need anything else.”

He moved a stool closer and sat next to her and watched them devour the bread and meats. “Could you tell me what happened to you after we escaped?”

Echo paused and looked at him seeing his trusting eyes and then to her sister decided to tell him the truth. “I’m sorry I lied to you, Bellamy. My clan found me when I was trying to make it back home and to my family, to Nara. My people took me back at first until I made a mistake and told them the mountain fell by your people. My Queen wants Wanheda. Queen Nia wanted information about who she is and how they could find her, and they beat me for anything I knew about her."

“Who is Wanheda?” He questioned.

Echo tilted her head in confusion. “I was told she was the sky girl that killed all the mountain men, surely you know her.”

Bellamy looked towards Abby. “They want Clarke.” Abby's hands stop wrapping the bandage around Echo's arm and stop to listen to her explained her story.

“Queen Nia intends to overthrow Heda Lexa, and she was going to do that with the Commander of Death.”

“Oh, my. The Commander of what?” Abby put her hand to her mouth in shock.

“Abby, because Clarke took down the mountain she must be a legend in their eyes. But, I’m sure she is safe with Lexa, and all of her warriors," Bellamy tried to reassure her.

Echo spoke up, “Queen Nia has sent her men to capture Wanheda. They will not know she will be traveling with Heda.”

“I need to meet with the council. Echo and Nara you’re welcome to stay with us, Bellamy, please find them a room to sleep and clean clothes and show them around.”

~

Abby paced the room worry clouding her mind. Questioning why did she let Clarke leave, she should have made her stay with them, safe behind the fence. Kane stopped her and led her to chair to sit down.

“Listen, I think that we would have heard if something happened to her. And going by what Bellamy’s friend said they don’t know where she is and that she with a formidable warrior."

“I know you’re right, but she’s my daughter and she all I have in this world.”

“Abby, you have me, all of us.” He looked sincerely into her eyes. “Murphy and Harper will be back soon, maybe just a few days. If we don’t hear from them in a week, will head out with a patrol and take out the Queen ourselves.”

Jaha spoke up. “I agree, there’s little we can do right now, let’s give them time to return. Have faith, Abby. What I know of Lexa, she’s a determined young woman, and she cares for Clarke. That’s a big plus we didn’t have before.” He remembered how quickly she had disarmed him.

Abby finally accepted their assessment, but until the dropship kids got back, her nights were going to be filled with worry.

~

Jasper dropped the old dog-eared book he was reading to his chest. It was a tale of _The Swiss Family Robinson_ , not unlike how they were now living their lives. Except for him, stuck in a cell waiting to find out what new thing they would use to try and help him cope with the loss and time, for what he had done to Clarke.

Clarke had visited him before she left for Polis, and he recalled the meeting. He was still furious at the time but listened to Clarke as she revealed her pain. The struggle she shared with him and had no clue how much it affected her.

~

_“We have to talk Jasper,” she said._

_“Why?”_

_“Because it's important that I clear the air with you. Do you even know why I left?”_

_He turned to her, his hands still chained and she was safe from him. He shrugged his shoulders and said, “Because you felt guilty for killing everyone.”_

_“I did, still do. But, I’m trying to deal with it, just like you.”_

_“You’re not like me, Clarke, not even close.”_

_“Maybe not, but I know of loss. I know of betrayal. I know what is like to lose yourself in doubt and want to run away. You were braver than I was, you stayed.”_

_“You left because you are a coward, Clarke.” He knew the words he was saying were cutting into her, and he really didn’t care. “And please don’t try and pander to me.”_

_Clarke’s blue eyes bore into him. “Why do you feel your pain greater than mine? Why do you think leaving here makes me a coward? You know, honestly, I couldn’t handle doing one more thing for our people. This whole experience drained me, and I wasn’t me anymore.”_

_“Why did you have to come back? I was getting better. I stopped thinking about Maya.”_

_"I had to come back and try to make peace with who I am, what I did to help our people survive."_

_"Not everyone survived Clarke," he mocked as he yanked at his chains trying to make a point._

_Something in Clarke snapped, "Okay, you know what. I'm sorry, sorry for the deaths. But, I'm not sorry for rescuing our people and stopping the mountain men from killing every last one of us. You know damn well that was going to happen. I grieve in my own way and I will not, I tell you, not let you make me feel bad for doing what know no one else could do. I chose to kill them, and now I have to live with that for the rest of my life, and one more thing," moving within striking distance. "Not one of us has clean hands, not my mother, Jaha, Kane, hell Bellamy and Raven, even you. We are drowning in blood and death, Jasper." He could see she had tears in her eyes, but Clarke didn't let them fall. "So go ahead, be angry with me, but if you ever lay hands on me again, I swear to god, I'll kill you myself." She left the door slamming it behind him, and he jumped at the loud crash._

_~_

After she had left, he sat there stunned. Her words replaying in his head over and over until the emotions he had kept bottled up for weeks burst out, and he cried. He had been in grief for weeks, and now as his hand reached for his face, he pulled it away saw tears from his eyes, he had finally cried. How did she break him so easily?

Abby had counseled him about dealing with loss and letting go and feeling your emotions was a start. Being just a person with no feelings was no way to live one's life she told him.

If Clarke was right and made the choice of saving her friends over the lives of the mountain people and now has to live with what she had done, it was greater than the loss that he felt.

The weight of everything that happened started to gel and what he was coming to terms with now, was guilt. So much guilt at surviving. For Clarke, it had made her determined that their deaths wouldn't be in vain, he was beginning to see that now.

A rap on the door and his cell door opened, it was Monty carrying a tray with his evening meal, as he had done from the time he had been locked up.

"Hey, they're serving something new today." Monty set down the tray, and it was the usual ration. Some sort of overcooked meat served with a brown gravy that would be a bit passable if it wasn't runny and a pile of green vegetables.

"Funny, Monty."

He began to pick at the meat they had already sliced it and tried to scoop the food with the spoon he was given to eat. At least they wouldn’t let him starve to death or try and kill himself.

Monty watched him for a moment and saw the sadness in his face. "Once the crops come in, and we can start to trade goods, the food will get better, right? That's something." Monty looked up from under his long dark hair and into the eyes of his friend. "Well, anyway, I'll check on you later, okay bud?"

Monty waited for a moment then turned to leave.

"Wait."

Monty turned. "Yeah?"

"Thanks. Thanks for being here for me. After all I..." Jasper stopped unable to finished. This new emotion kept creeping up, and he was having difficulty maintaining his composure. "Yeah, thanks for dinner."

Monty smiled. "You bet."

Jasper watched as he left. He started to regret his stupid decision to go after Clarke.

~

The contrast of the clean room Echo and Nara were staying in compared to the wilderness that was their everyday lives wasn't lost on Echo. The room was lit and warm and the bed comfortable. Bellamy had brought them clean clothes and had set them up next to his room across the hall he shared with a boy name Wick.

She helped Nara clean up and pick out clothes that fit her small body. Bellamy said that they could keep any of the clothes they like. They were well used but nicer than anything she had ever worn before. A quiet knock at the door and Nara rushed to open it. It was Bellamy.

"Come in," Echo said from behind Nara's back.

"Hey, I wanted to check on you guys and see how you're doing." He stepped inside and commented to Nara, "I like the shirt you picked out." She had selected a blue shirt that fit a boy, but with her small size, it didn't really matter. Echo had chosen a long sleeve black shirt that had a faded logo from a long-ago band and worn dark pants.

Nara smiled up at him and then tucked herself next to her sister.  
Echo curled her arm around her sister's shoulders. She looked up at him and asked, "Why did you help us? I am still Azgeda."

He straightened his shoulders and turned around finding a chair, flipping it around and sat down and resting her arms on the backrest.

"Truth? We all need each other. That isn't something that is easy for me to say. I was an ass when we first came to earth. I lied and hurt people. I was doing things because I could. I found out almost too late that what I was doing didn't help anyone, especially myself. I drove my sister away from me. The only family I had because of the things I had done. It's a heavy price to pay. Having a family, people that care about you and almost losing all of that. Well, let's just say I'm not going to make those mistakes again. I'm learning that this is what friends are for Echo. We take care of one another."

Echo pulled her sister close to her. "Thank you for taking us in, Bellamy."

"I'm glad we could help. So a few of us are hanging out around the campfire. It's a nice evening would you two like to join us?"

With a grin, she agreed, and Echo and Nara followed him through the long halls and into the night air. Friendly faces smiled in their direction, and the contrast from her clan was jarring. She could feel the emotions that she always kept in check bubbling to the surface and she kept her arm draped her sister's shoulders. It helped feel grounded at the swirl of turmoil she was feeling.

How unlike her people. At first, when she met the sky people at the mountain, she found them weak and feeble. Too easily tricked, easily sympathetic to strangers. Too willing to help. So unlike everyone she had ever known. She had thought it a weakness, but looking at these people, how weak could they be when they would put out a hand and help them. Maybe it was strength she was really seeing.


	19. Chapter 19

After Clarke came back from her talk with Jasper, it took some time to calm down. Lexa kept her distance from him, and she was grateful because surely his blood would have been spilled at his dismissive words. The meeting didn't go as planned and his mocking tone stung, but she needed to him to hear what she had to say, whether he understood or not. At this point, she didn't care.

The stitches on her head came out, and the bruising started to fade over the week before they left for Polis. It still ached and knew it would take time for it to heal completely. It wasn't the only stitches on her body and could sense a slight tug under the bandage covering her right forearm from the removal of her birth control implant.

Her first experience was uneventful all though messy at times. Her mom told that her hormones would level off and she would eventually start to have regular cycles. She smiled remembering how Lexa volunteered to help with the worst of her cramps.

Clarke recalled the pleasant memory when Lexa made her lay on her stomach and then spending time massaging her lower back and legs. Easing tender spots on the inside her lower legs that ached. It surprised her at how skilled Lexa was at finding the sore places on her body. Lexa explained how she learned a few methods from her healers. Women gifted in the arts of medicine handed down through their mothers' and their mothers' before them.

Then Lexa invited Clarke to sit on her lap and held her around her back, holding her tight to her body. Feeling the contact along their breasts and down between her thighs as her mound pushed against Lexa's warm abdomen as her heat soothed her aching belly.

She felt the gentle caress of her lips along her the swell of her breasts through the gap in her open shirt, and her soft breaths speaking words only meant for her ears, _"Ma meka lufa gapa. Hon sli fuls slak_ _gapa."_ Clarke's hips jerk under her seductive remarks and from that point, Lexa had Clarke under her spell. Her fingers didn't penetrate her, but it was what Lexa imparted what she would do mouth and hands and how deep she would touch her that Clarke started to move in slow rolling waves as Lexa rocked with her in a synced rhythm.

And later when Clarke arched as she imagined those fingers delving deep inside of her, riding her fingers as she wrapped her arms tight around Lexa's shoulders, feeling moist breaths against the skin of her chest, and it pushed her into an intense, raw orgasm.

As she settled, Lexa's lips moved to kiss over her tender swollen breasts with light kisses, licking her sensitive nipples, sucking her into her mouth. Lexa's focus on her breast became desperate, and she felt her quake below her, and when her face came up, her eyes were unfocused, her lips sought out hers. That's when she realized that Lexa came without even touching her.

At that point, Clarke completely forgot about her cramps. Their foreheads came together and Lexa's puff out a breath, moving blond curls that had fallen across her face. Lexa pulled back, and she smiled at how easy she could make her feel so loved. Lexa gave her a lazy grin and settled them in bed tucked Clarke into her chest.

~

Back to the present and those thoughts made Clarke warm inside all over again as she guided Fotam around a tree on their way to Polis. Lexa by her side, riding Draco, her beloved horse that was left behind when she searched for her in the forest.

It was the second full day on the road, and the trip so far was uneventful. The rain started early that morning, and Clarke held Star up against her chest inside her hooded cloak as she sniffed at everything that passed.

All though Star was growing she felt that she was still too small to walk the long distance to Polis and didn’t want to leave her behind. She felt a strong connection to her and Lexa had remarked how attentive she was and would catch Star watching Clarke, waiting by her side and always there to protect. Star would be formidable when she becomes an adult wolf, Lexa remarked and was grateful that she had complete trust in Star.

Clarke and Lexa held their meeting with her people and produced a plan. The problem Clarke brought up, speaking as the go between her people and Trikru, were the old ways that the clans had relied upon; _Blood must have blood._ Justice met out swift and without regret, but it carried with it, and unending eye for an eye that left everyone blind.

The Ark was dead, as were most of their old ways. Still, they would have to form a criminal justice system within their clan. Floating on the Ark was based on necessity and culling the herd. On Earth, capital punishment was still a possibility if the crime fit the deed. Abby would work with her people to come up with a fair system.

Clarke suggested that Arkadia should become agrarian. They could also offer education to their people as well as any members of the other clans that wanted to learn. People would be treated equal, and workloads would be assigned. New ideas from any member could be brought to the leaders, and everyone would have a say. A barter system would be set up with the clans, and the Trikru land they sat on would eventually become their property after the first season of harvest, with more land that could eventually become a part of the farmland and homes. This land would also be given over to Arkadia after those seasons were fulfilled. She felt that this would give all the people of the different clans time to adjust and hopefully accept them into the Lexa’s coalition. Clarke would be the official representative for Arkadia when Lexa met with her coalition when they got back to Polis.

Clarke finally shared the information from the device they found in the grave. Raven suggested that it shouldn't hook up to their main computer until they could isolate its connection to a stand only workstation. Raven felt that even though it was just a storage device, she wasn’t sure it didn’t still have operating programs hidden within the data. And would have to write a program to weed any malicious code from it, just in case. With the work to do at Mount Weather, this project now put on hold, and the device was left locked in Clarke’s room until she returned.

Marcus, Abby, and Jaha joined with them at working out and coming up with a plan for a treaty between their clans. It was a rough draft, and many points still needed to be worked out. The idea was for members of both tribes to inventory Mount Weather supplies. Weapons of mass destruction were forbidden and locked away. The place itself later stripped down valuable metals and wiring. The warehouse that held the artwork they decided to leave it be. It was climate controlled the value of losing this was far too great. Some of the food spoiled, but there was a significant seed bank in a climate-controlled vault. That find was a great relief to both parties. The power station needed to be repaired, and plans were underway to fix the damage with only two out of the five still working. The first level held agriculture and would remain that way when the weather outside would make growing food over the long winter impossible. Abby was happy to find the medical labs were clean and fully stocked. In total seven levels comprised the whole of the past.

Another plan was to wire Arkadia with power for the new homes under construction. Lines would run from the power station to their camp. Long distant communication, was also an issue with riders taking three days to bring messages from Polis to Arkadia. And they needed a faster way to communicate. Murphy and Harper volunteered from her clan and came along, and they mapped the trip from Arkadia to Polis.

~

Clarke's thoughts were of what they would do next once they got to Polis and led her horse next to Lexa at the head of their group and asked, "What can you tell me about the other clans?”

Lexa kept her eyes on the forest and said, “There are twelve clans in my coalition, and I am their first Commander after Azgeda, the Ice Nation joined us. The Kongeda happened after many months of negotiation and Azgeda, unfortunately, are most problematic because they have the most warriors and their leader, Queen Nia is ruthless. My goal is to have my coalition recognize your people and increase our numbers. The remaining clans have good leaders but what troubles me the most is how they view Mount Weather now that it has fallen because of Wanheda.”

Clarke's pursed her lip and shook her head, not recognizing the name and asked, “What is a Wanheda?”

"It's not a what. It's a who, Clarke. You are Wanheda.”

“But, what does it mean?”

Lexa seemed hesitant to say and lifted her chin and said, “It means Commander of Death.”

Clarke stopped Fotam and let out a stunned breath. Shock and embarrassment washed over her. “When were you going to tell me?”

“When it came up as it just did.”

“Commander of Death.” The name dripped from Clarke's lips, and she ached at its meaning. Clarke grew irritated and angry, quickly dismounting Fotam and walk away from the group and into the forest.

Lexa's warriors stopped, and she dismounted and quickly followed her. “Clarke wait.” Lexa was now running after her. “I meant to tell you sooner, but so much has happened and I...”

Clarke turned around to face her as tears streaked down her face. She felt betrayed again. All the feelings of taking Mount Weather boiled up inside her again. “You should have told me, Lexa.”

“I’m sorry Clarke, you’re right. I have no excuse for keeping this from you. Can you please forgive me?”

Clarke closed her eyes, and she looked down to the ground where Star sat staring up at her as the rain started to pour down on them. Lexa gingerly reached out to touch her but pulled her hand back, seeing all the progress made with Clarke evaporate.

“I’ve failed you again Clarke.” Lexa kept her hands resting by her side unsure of what to do with them. “I should have trusted you with this information. I was trying to spare you any more pain, and I know that I was from delaying what was already know among my people. You shouldn’t have been the last to know, for that I'm truly sorry.”

“Yes, you should have told me, Lexa.” Clarke was beginning to understand the depth of the feelings Lexa felt for her. Seeing the contrite look on Lexa's face, of course, she would spare her this name. Lexa knew what Mount Weather had done to her. Clarke reached out and took Lexa’s hand, lacing their fingers together as a way of excepting her apology.

“I will never keep anything from you again. Even if I know, it may cause you pain. I owe you that much.”

“We don’t keep secrets from one another, okay?”

Relieved, Lexa pulled Clarke into a hug and whispered into her ear, “I give you my word.”

~

They walked hand in hand back to their horses, and Lexa helped her up on her mount and reached down to scoop up Star and handed her up to Clarke. Lexa mounted her horse and kicked lightly, continuing down the path gazing back over to Clarke still not sure if she had forgiven her entirely. Knowing she wouldn’t make this mistake with the sky girl again and needed to explain further.

“Clarke, you have to understand that when word came down through the clans that the mountain fell by Wanheda of the sky people they became afraid of you. You hold great power, and it caused much fear. Not only did I need to find you because of my mistake, but I also needed to keep you safe. I never meant to make you into this. Our two clans joining into a treaty might allow the other clans understand the strength of their alliance with you and their fears should subside."

“I understand what you tried to spare from me Lexa, I honestly do." Shaking her head again at Lexa. “Wanheda, hmm. I guess I’ve been called worst.” She looked over to Lexa and winked. Lexa rolled her eyes at her, and they were quiet for a few minutes with just the rain falling the only noise except the footfalls of their horse.

Clarke's mind was racing, contemplating the responsibility of being this 'Wanheda, Commander of Death and came up with an idea. "When we get to Polis I want you to train me in combat. I need to learn how to defend myself against an enemy. I’m talking with a sword and hand to hand. Are you willing to do this for me, Lexa?”

Lexa kept from overreacting and said, “I could train you, Clarke. But I will protect you.”

“What if you’re not around or your warriors? I can’t ask you or anyone else to babysit me all the time.”

Lexa sighed, “I will train you to the best of my abilities Clarke, with a blade and hand to hand, but know this; it will mean that if you're challenged it would be to the death with your opponent. Do you want to take on that burden again, Clarke?”

“If I say no then I would be condemning another person to kill in my place. I hope that it wouldn’t come to that, but I need to know how to protect myself.”

Lexa’s heart was hurting at her words, of course, she was right. She couldn’t always keep her safe but could make sure that Clarke never faces an opponent. Then Clarke’s words came slamming back into her head; she couldn’t keep secrets from her it would hurt Clarke if she broke her promise. Her word to Clarke could never be broken, not again.

She looked over at Clarke’s profile, and she saw a determination in her that took her breath away. She was Wanheda, but she was also a gentle soul, and she couldn’t say no to her. “I will train you, Clarke.”

“I know that this is hard for you and I don’t mind that you will always insist that I’m safe, I will compromise with you on this point, and will not object to your protection for me.”

Relief charged through Lexa at Clarke’s words, she closed her eyes for a moment then looked back over at her. She knew that she had a stupid grin on her face, and caught one of her warriors eyeing her and her face dropped into Commander mode. He quickly found something else to look at and Lexa gazed back to Clarke.

Clarke maneuvered her horse over to Lexa and whispered, “How do you do that?”

She gazed over at Clarke and gave her the same menacing look. Clarke blinked and shook her head. “I hope I never make you that angry at me.”

A blazing smile came across over her face. “Never, I couldn’t be cross with you Clarke.”

~

"Indra, make camp between those stand of trees." Lexa led them further into the area and shouted over her shoulder, "and send out hunters to gather our evening meal."

"Yes, Heda." Indra started barking out orders at her request.

Clarke came to a stop next to Lexa. "I like it, Commander." Lexa dismounted and held out a hand to Clarke. "Ugh, the inside of my legs are sore," Clarke said when took a few steps.

"Keeping moving will help the soreness and tonight I could..." Lexa stopped when her warriors took an interest and let out a low growl that got her men back to their duties.

"I'm looking forward to that Heda," Clarke said with a wink and started helping with the camp.

The fires were brought to life and tended, and hunters returned with their catch of the wild game and were quickly prepared to roast over the flames. Clarke helped set up their tent near a stand of trees, and Lexa's warriors guarded the perimeter.

She ducked into the same tent from their first nights together, seeing that Lexa had brought their gear inside. This space was not unlike that first night she slept with Lexa. Each of them on their separate beds. She enjoyed its quaint atmosphere and spied at the end of the tent a candle giving light next to a pot of fresh water. Clarke started stripping and falling into the pattern she learned from Lexa on the trail back home. How to get squeaky clean with just a bar of soap and a pail full of cold water and began the process.

After cleaning up, Clarke sniffed the air and saw the source laying on her pillow. A single tiny bud from a flower. No longer than the length of her thumb. She brought it to the light and found it held a light hue of bluish-red. And the smell was heavenly and it took her to those sweet memories laid down from their first coupling. She smiled remembering their first touch and kisses and warmth spread down between her legs creating a slow burn with thoughts of Lexa; that she left the tiny flower as a reminder, that she was thinking of her.

~

Clarke joined Octavia next to the log she sat, attending the food over the flaming spit with her patience hungry wolf by her side waiting for handouts. The stars were coming out over ahead, and the mood seemed ancient yet familiar. With the friendly talk and milling warriors around sharing mild drinks for their evening pleasure.

After few moments, Clarke could feel the weight of eyes on her and caught her warrior watching her from across the fire. Lexa now engaged with Indra, but her eyes never left hers. Warmth rose on her cheeks at feeling Lexa undressing her with her eyes. Clarke looked away at the intensity then back over at her, connecting their gazes. She tilted her head to the side and gave her seductive smile that only Lexa saw. Then made a tempting move with her hand. Grazing her fingers between the v of her top. The slight movement of her breast beneath her shirt not missed by the Commander's lingering eyes. Clarke won this battle of wills when Lexa took a long drink from her cup and pardoning herself from Indra. And in quick succession; Lexa poured another for herself and one for Clarke and excused Octavia to the other side of the fire and sat beside her.

“You look hungry, Commander,” Clarke murmured.

“It feels like an age has passed since I’ve touched you Sky Girl." Even with the orange hues of the fire, Lexa's ears took on a red tinge. The words sending warm sensation between Clarke's legs and she moved closer to Lexa and didn't look at Clarke but stared into the flames and confessed, “You've awakened a hunger inside of me. Before we found out who we were to each other, I never believed I would find this again. After Costia, I thought would live out my life a try a fulfill my duty as Heda. Before you, nothing had any meaning. I remember a dull gray life. Always death and fighting for the next inch of ground, and now, I have something that I didn’t deserve. I have you, Clarke." Lexa paused then said, "I can see a bright light and a future for our people now possible."

Clarke felt her statement as a physical thing between them, and replied simply, “We are in this together Lexa, on the same path once more."

Lexa nodded her head and looked back towards Octavia when she started to move the game from the spit and portion out their meals.

~

Long after dinner, Clarke was still awake laying in Lexa's her arms naked. They both were. A habit they took up once their relationship became intimate. Her warrior had yet to fall asleep and ran her hands up and down her back to lull her to sleep. It wasn’t working. Being this close to this much sensuality, warmth, and scent of Lexa’s skin, Clarke couldn't resist, and she shifted her head and pressed her lips to hers.

It was meant to say goodnight, but it turned into a passionate kiss when Clarke rolled on top of her body melding herself into Lexa. In her heart, Clarke could feel herself becoming committed to Lexa on a deeper level. Each kiss an affirmation of a past life now joined in their present. She shifted Lexa's legs apart when a jolt of lust hit her when Lexa brought hands down to pull her tight against her mound. Clarke couldn't resist the urge and began to roll against her. Lexa wrapped her legs around her, opening herself and pulled her in tighter against her body. Clarke shuddered against her and pulled back breathing hard and looked into her face, wishing she could see Lexa’s green eyes in the dim light reflected between the partial opening of their shelter.

Her mind did see those eyes, bright and shining into her soul. It captured her spirit and embraced their hearts firmly together keeping them safe. She could spend hours just gazing at them. They held in them the vitality of her essence. When her eyes caught hers across the fire earlier, they spoke of longing and desire and here, now, she was giving herself wholly to her.

Clarke settled her body against Lexa’s thigh, sighing when she pulled it snug against her sex, and her lips met hers, licking into the soft sigh of her mouth. Clarke's hand began to slowly glide her fingers over her body moving slower, delicate, drawing her up. She kept her caress controlled and lightly touch the soft downy hair covering Lexa's body.

Clarke moaned as she rubbed her center over Lexa's muscled thigh, painting it with her arousal. Ever so gently she continued to stroke down Lexa’s body feeling her quiver as goosebumps rose along the path her fingers took across her body. The lighter Clarke touched her, the more intense the feeling she invoked from Lexa.

Her hand continued to run her fingers over Lexa and finally reaching her dark curls and brought her hand down firmly to cup her sex. Lexa’s shivered in relief and arched up into her touch. Clarke kept her hand still as Lexa bucked, trying to encourage her to continue moving.

 _“Shh, I’ve got you,”_ Clarke whispered against her lips. Aware that their tent was surrounded by her warriors as she ran her fingers gently around her slit dipping lower to gather more wetness and running back along her sensitive clit. Clarke’s heart beat hard inside her chest and tucked her face into Lexa’s neck and sucked lightly on the skin just under her ear. It had excited her as much as Lexa when she had caressed her body, and now her precious warrior opened up to her and pushed inside of her, hearing a gasp followed by a sensual moan.

 _“Oh god, Lexa. You’re wet for me,”_ Clarke whispered.

In between Lexa’s thighs, she was slick with her excitement, and it covered Clarke's wrist along her hand as reached inside to that delicate spot and pushed against it, adjusting her hand to move her thumb gently along her swollen clit. Lexa covered her mouth with her hand to keep her lustful moans from coming out. Clarke synced the rhythm of her hips as Lexa sought her release.

 _“You feel so good...”_ Clarke's voice trailed off as she concentrated her rocking her body against Lexa’s, her movements increased as she felt her climax coming and breathed quietly into her ear. _“I'm so close..so wet and hot...oh god Lexa."_ Clarke bore down firmer on her thigh, then, _"Fuck...I’m coming...”_ Groaning when she felt her fingers being squeezed tight inside of Lexa and it pushed her over into her release and Lexa soon followed, arching her body along with her, as she continued pumping into her until Lexa reached down and covered Clarke's hand with her own, holding it firmly against her body.

Lexa’s lips caught hers in a sensual lingering open mouth kiss as her climax rolled through her hips. Her hands came up to hold Clarke’s face as her tongue sought hers. It was the most singularly perfect moment of her life. Welding her life with Lexa.

Clarke slowed their kissing and then laid her head on her shoulder as Lexa continued to run her hand over her back when soft words meant for her alone caressed her ears, _Ai hod yu_ _in, Clarke._ So quiet were the words she whispered, was she intended to hear them? A clarion call from the past in what those three words expressed, to seal their souls together again. A single tear fell from Clarke's eye, and she reached up and wiped it away to keep it from falling on her. Lexa continued to gently touch her, running her hand from the nape of her neck and down her back to soothe and rock Clarke until she fell asleep.

~

A low growl from Star woke Lexa, and she quickly rolled away from Clarke’s warm embrace. The urgency in her growling urged her to dress and strap her weapons across her body watching as Star stood at the edge of the tent opening looking out, her large ears straining to hear rustling from deep in the forest and sniffing the air. Lexa touched her back, and she shifted out of her way, and they both stared into the darkened forest searching for what she couldn't guess. Then she heard it. The rustling of men approaching their camp. From her guess, they were being surrounded.

“Clarke, wake up,” Lexa whispered, putting her hand on her fur covered hip and pushed to wake her. “Get dressed, quickly.”

“What, what is it?” Clarke said as snapped awake.

“Invaders.”

“What? Wait, I’m coming with you. Where are your guards?” Clarke reached for her clothes and quickly dressed. She checked the gun and hooked her knife to her belt.

“I'm not sure,” Lexa whispered as she strained to hear them.

Lexa waited for long minutes then spotted movement. She pulled her sword and aimed it to thrust it into the body she saw rushing towards her but moved it aside when she recognized Octavia running towards their tent. Indra was behind her, blade out with her back facing them as she walked towards their position looking over the expanse of their camp. The night was pitch black deep at the edge of the forest line with the fires hindering her ability to see the forest surrounding them.

“Where are my guards Indra?”

“Searching. We heard sounds coming from the forest, and your men left to check out what had made these noises, Heda.”

“Who is left at the camp?”

“We have four warriors within the borders.” Pointing to four spots surrounding their camp.

Yelling broke the quiet an arrow whizzed by Lexa’s head impaling into the tree next to where she stood. She quickly ducked behind the tree and pulled Clarke to the side and pushed her to the ground. Indra and Octavia ran towards the fighting blending into the trees and out of their sight.

“Stay here Clarke,” and quickly ran towards the fighting, drawing her sword and taking a man's head to her left, then swung her arm around and sliced her blade through a woman to her right nearly cutting her in half. Clarke closed her eyes and pulled Star to her chest and try to make herself as small as she could when arms went around her and screamed as a hand went to her mouth and she turned to see, Murphy and Harper by her side and pulling her away from the fighting.

“Shh Clarke, we have to hide,” Harper whispered.

“Over here,” Murphy said, and they ran towards the place he pointed out.

Lexa looked back when she heard Clarke scream and caught a glancing blade against her arm, and winced as her eyes went dark and took two more men under her sword as watched them run away to safety and away from the fighting and into the woods.

They found a cave not far from the fighting to hide as the sounds carried through the forest echoing into this small space. It appeared there were dozens of fighters and Lexa’s men sorely outnumbered. The yelling and death throes moved through the woods causing Clarke to shake and looked towards her friends and smiled trying to hide her fear.

Guilt rushed through her knowing that Lexa and her warriors were fighting to protect them, and she ached to be by her side, fighting to protect everything that they would be working for, but she was untrained, unable to do a thing to help.

Clarke pulled Star to her chest and waited in the dark, hoping that the battle would soon be over and her warrior would be victorious. But looking into the darkness, the only thing that was clear, people were dying; probably because of her.

~

The struggle lasted long into the fading night and was finally early morning when the conflict had gone quiet. They strained to hear any movement. Clarke watched, searching in the woods as the sun began to rise. Aching at a possible loss that would destroy her when a crash from at the edge of forest rustled the bushes and a large figure walked towards their hiding spot. A hulking presence that wasn’t Lexa or one of her men. He crept towards their exact position searching the ground and finding she supposed their tracks. Clarke pulled out her gun and aimed at his chest.

She waited for him to get closer as he grunted spotting the cave they hid in and started to walk towards them with his blade out, dripping with blood when a sword as long as his arm pierce his chest. He went to his knees as gurgling blood flowed from his mouth and the last thing he saw was Clarke when he fell flat on the ground in front of her. Behind him stood Lexa kom Trikru. Standing tall and brave. Her arms and face now covered in the blood of her vanquished enemy.

"Lexa," Clarke yelled running towards her partner and Lexa lifted her up with one arm and spun her around. The adrenaline still coursing through her body it seemed as Lexa put her blade into the earth and sat her down. Her arm had a gash running along it, and the blood had dried and closed the wound.

"We have vanquished our enemies, Clarke."

Lexa’s arm went around her shoulder, and she could feel her shaking with adrenaline as they made their way back towards their camp. Lexa barked out orders to her remaining men and women. By Clarke count of the bodies of her warriors brought back to their camp, they had lost three men in the fighting. The bodies of the enemy laid across the forest and in their camp. They numbered close to thirty who attacked them.

“Who were they?” Clarke asked, checking Lexa’s wound on her arm.

“They were cowards of the Ice Nation.” Lexa pointed to the designs on a sword laying on the body of a gutted man. “I will destroy them for this betrayal.” Lexa’s veins in her neck and forehead pulsed. She could see the fire in her eyes, a look she had only seen a few times before. “This will not go unpunished. Take the coward's melonkovas, swords, and the Ice Nation symbols, and move their bodies from my sight.” Her anger was shaking the ground where she stood.

"What's melonkova?" Lexa smirked then pointed to their heads with her blade making Clarke wince. “Where’s Octavia and Indra?” Clarke looked around at the exhausted warriors when a rustling from the trees and a figure parted the bushes. Indra and Octavia had an invader tied at the wrists behind his back and hauled him to the ground and onto his knees.

"This one surrendered Heda," Indra motioning to the man.

That's when Clarke noticed that Octavia had an arrow sticking out of her shoulder, and watched Lincoln run to her side and caught her before she went to her knees and carried her to the fire. Clarke joined him and yelled to Harper, “Get me some clean water and bandages.” Octavia’s eyes opened, and her face grimaced as she tried to get up. “Hey, don’t move. We need to break the end and pull it through. Heat your knife Lincoln, so we can seal it shut, to keep her from bleeding too much."

Lincoln pulled out his blade and held in the fire until it glowed red then handed it to Clarke. Octavia's eyes spilled tears from the pain as Harper cut away the material away from the wound exposing the arrow in her shoulder. Lexa helped by giving Octavia a skin full of strong liquor until she waved her off wiping her mouth.

“That's enough. Thank you, Heda,” she said through gritted teeth. Lincoln used the distraction to break the arrow and pulled it from her shoulder as Clarke place the hot blade against the seeping wound and did the same to the injury on her back. Octavia bit the inside of her mouth and didn’t scream out, but hot tears covered her face in agony as the air hung heavy with the smell of burning flesh.

Lincoln smelled the tip of the arrow. “The arrow carried poison," and looked towards Clarke showing the end stained green and said, “We need an antidote."

Clarke immediately looked to Lexa and at her wound. “Lexa you were also cut by one of their blades.”

Lexa wiped her fingers across her wound and put it to her mouth and spat it on the ground indicating that the invader's blade also poisoned her.

“Who else was cut?” Lexa’s voice carried over the camp. Heads shook showing they were the only two. “Check their belongs for an antidote.” Her warriors quickly searched their remains as Lexa walked to the last survivor and put her blade under his chin, lifting up to see into his face

“Roan,” she drawled.

“Heda Leksa.” He bent over and bowed to her. “I wasn’t among the invaders I swear by my life.”

“Who is he?” Clarke asked.

“He’s the son of the leader of the Ice Nation, Queen Nia.” Lexa walked around him still full of rage at this betrayal. “Why should we believe you?”

He kept his head lowered and answered, “The Queen wanted Wanheda. I heard that the mountain fell when I returned to my people and heard that a raiding party was sent out to capture Wanheda and bring her to our Queen. I feared if the Queen acquires more power that she will be unstoppable and more lives destroyed.”

“You fight against your clan and Queen? I find that hard to believe,” Lexa sneered at him.

“In my pocket.” Roan motioned with his head. Indra went to his side and pulled out a wrapped bundle and gave it to Lexa.

Lexa unwrapped the bundle not taking her eyes off of him. Inside it held bottles of clear brown liquid. Her eyes went wide and gave them to Lincoln, and he opened one and smelled its contents. He looked back up at Lexa and nodded his head. “He’s telling the truth. This antidote will work for the poison the invaders used.” He opened one of the bottles and poured into Octavia’s mouth. She grimaced at its bitter taste and looking like she wanted to spit it out. She peered up at Lincoln with tears still in her eyes, and he kissed on her forehead. “You’re going to be okay.” He tore some clean material and wrapped it around her wound and then carried her towards their tent.

Clarke reached down and gave Lexa one of the remaining bottles. “Drink.” Lexa tipped the bottle into her mouth not revealing its disgusting taste or took her eyes off of Roan.

"Indra, see that the Queen's son has a guard on him. Give him food and water, but keep him bound."

"Yes, Heda."

Clarke and Lexa walked back to their tent and ducked inside as Clarke reached for her gear and started to undress her. “Sit.” Lexa did as she commanded and watched as she began to removed her clothing and check the rest of her body.

“I don’t have any other wounds, Clarke,” she insisted.

“I have to be sure. You’re not like other people. You probably wouldn’t feel an arrow sticking out of your back.” Clarke blinked and stood up, looking over her shoulder to check, just in case.

Lexa laughed at her actions. “Honestly, I only have one tiny cut on my arm.”

Clarke held up Lexa's arm. The cut at least three inches long, deep enough to worry over. "That is not a tiny cut." Clarke brought a basin of water to her side and started to scrub the blood from her arms gingerly and then more thoroughly across her face and hands. She then wrapped the wound carefully and found cleaner clothes for her to put on. “Are we heading out today?”

“Yes. We have to get back to Polis soon. The betrayal and attack on us demand justice.” Lexa started to stand and quickly sat down. “Whoa...” Waves of dizziness struck her hard, and she bent over her legs unable to control her body.

“Lexa, what’s wrong?”

“I can't...” Lexa's face grew frightened right before her eyes droop shut and fell over against Clarke and passed out.

Clarke carefully pushed her up to a sitting position and laid her back on her bed. Welling fear quickly rose as she tried to wake her, and she ran from the tent crying her name over and over which drew shouts from Lexa's warriors to her side and Lincoln and guided her back into their tent.

“Did the Commander take the antidote?” He checked her eyes and bent over to listened to her heart.

“Yes, she did. What’s wrong with her? Shouldn’t it work on her?”

“Yes, but she has been fighting for hours so the poison may have been too long in her body.” He put his hand to her forehead felt the heat coming off of her. “She’s too hot. We need to cool her down. The antidote will fight the poison and will have to work its way through her body. She’s going to be sick until it passes." He placed his hand on her shoulder and squeeze and gave her a reassuring smile. "Just give it some time and keep her cool." He watched as she tended to Lexa, soaking some rags and started to lay them across her body and gently poured the water over the material. Clarke helped and reached around Lexa's head and pulled her hair from behind her and laid a cold cloth on the back of her neck and her head. Lexa’s teeth started to chatter, and her body shook. “It’s going to be a long day and night Clarke. We could try to make it back to Polis, but I don’t think it’s wise to leave until tomorrow. Octavia will also need to rest.”

“How is she, Lincoln?”

“Resting, and spitting mad. The poison won’t affect Octavia as much Heda.”

“Tell her I’ll come see her soon.” He nodded his head left them alone, and she continued to watch over her. The heat from her skin dried the material quickly, and she poured more water over her when Indra joined her and Clarke motioned for her to sit down next to her on the spare cot. Indra’s hand unconsciously went to pet Star laying next to Clarke, all three of watch Lexa rest.

“You care for her?” Indra spoke quietly.

“With all my heart Indra. She can’t die, not...” Clarke's eyes filled with tears and spill over her cheeks. She looked at Indra, and she brought her hand to Clarke’s face and wiped a tear away.

“Our Commander wouldn’t leave us, or you, not now when we are on the edge of peace. Heda has a strong heart, Clarke.”

“I love her Indra. I can’t lose her,” Clarke confessed. The words she hadn’t been able to say even to Lexa, if she lost her at least, someone would have known the truth.

Indra smiled at her. “I think she knows this thing. Heda has lost so much in her life, and I don’t think I’ve seen her happier, and more determine to this peace we speak of.”

~

Indra had grown fond of the sky girl. It had happened slowly. First at her determination at peace and her bravery at leaving her people to suffer in silence. Courage was the word that came to her mind when she thought of the sky girl. Indra knew this to be true. A real leader facing sacrifice for all others, bearing the burden, so they didn’t have to was the sign of a good leader.

Indra moved her hand to squeeze Clarke’s. “Heda will be all right.” She moved her hand away and then up to her face. Moving the hair, that had fallen into her eyes. “Be brave for her.”

~

Indra left Clarke to ponder her words, echoing into her heart and gazed back to her dormant partner. The thought that she could lose her after they had found each other brought a sob from deep in her throat, and she went to her knees and leaned against Lexa’s body.

Clarke reached for her hand that was laying on her side and held in hers. Feeling the strength, she had known in them gone. A racking sadness overcame her and tears began to flow freely. She laid her head against her chest and prayed for a miracle. “Please don't leave me. I need you,” Clarke pleaded.

She closed her eyes and listened to her heart beating in a slow rhythm, much slower than she was accustom to hearing. “Please come back. I can’t live without you.” After long minutes of waiting and watching, her mind drifted to a fitful sleep in this awkward position beside her bed.

~

_I know only in your arms I will find my salvation._

_You lay over me, and our souls connect, and I am complete._

_In sweet anticipation, I sit waiting until we meet again._

_My love is yours forever._

A voice from the past echoed faintly in her ear waking her from her sleep. "What...?” Clarke mumbled bringing her fully awake, and she wiped her mouth with her sleeve and looked up to Lexa, hoping it was her voice she was hearing, but Lexa’s eyes remained closed. She brought her hand up to her face and felt the heat had subsided and her worries about losing Lexa started to fade.

Clarke sat back on her aching legs and slowly got up and sat on the cot next to Star. The cub stood up and moved to her lap and started to lick the dried tears from her face. Clarke was too weak to stop her.

"She's going to be okay." Star looked up and leaned against her body. Clarke wrapped her arms around her and petted her. “Would you like me to read you a story, Star?” The cub sat back and blinked up at her and place her paw on her lap. "I'll take that as a yes." Clarke patted her head as she laid next to her and opened the book to next chapter and started to read out loud.

***

_An Evening in Paris_

Clarke and I had been friends, best friends, going on eight years, and this was our last year of school. With the fall and winter months past us, the dreaded senior prom was coming. I had been adamant at not wanting to go, mainly because I couldn’t go with Clarke as my date. I hesitated because of what I knew of the world and knowing no one would accept as anything more than friends. People would see us as a joke, something different.

I think why I finally said yes; Clarke wanted to experience what it felt like to be on a date together. I saw her point. We had done practicality everything together over the time we had known each other and never been on a real date, and this would be a special time we both could look back fondly on and remember our time in high school.

We would dress up in our finest and would be seen as a couple. It was a lovely thought. Thinking about this again after all these years makes my heart feel things that I had forgotten. Clarke was right of course, wanting to share going to our high school prom together.

The other kids in our school knew about our relationship and never questioned or harassed us. Well, only a few strange looks and, Joey _The Beast_ Novotny, my childhood nemesis. He had started calling us freaks and leaving messages in our lockers. We ignored him, mainly because we both felt a little sorry for him and it was best not the give him the satisfaction of thinking he bothered us.

It was a week before the prom, and so far it looked like it was going to happen. I was getting excited, and seeing Clarke happy was infectious. We were out shopping the weekend before for our prom clothes at the mall, and I noticed we were drawing a few looks from the parents of some of our classmates. I saw them quietly whispering and moving away from us like we had the plague. It was silly, I thought. Little did I know.

Clarke held up a suit for a guy in jest, not knowing at the time how the onlookers perceived this, and it was later, that I believe the moment turned the tide against us. She had no intention of wearing men’s clothing to our prom, but the women who saw her didn’t know that. Our special day was beginning to move away from us, and we didn’t realize it at the time.

When it became known that we were going to attend as a couple, the school administrator called us into a meeting one afternoon and Clarke along with her mother and I waited in the teacher’s conference room for the people to arrive. I began to worry, almost feeling ashamed of why we were here. Like we had committed an unspeakable crime or some offense that the world saw as horrible, that they needed to punish us for being different.

Clarke's face carried the looks of shame and said to me, "I'm sorry I got you into this."

I rubbed the outside of her arm. Seeing how this had put a damper on our plans. "We knew that this was always a possibility. But, listen I've got a plan." I showed her the document I had obtained from the library law books that this issue was a first amendment case. She smiled at me, and Maggie took the paper and read through and agreed.

"You've done your homework, Lexa," Maggie said.

"I wanted to come prepared." I smiled back at her, and it wasn't long before the principal, four teachers, and Joey’s parents came in and sat across from us at the table. How his parents happened to be there is still a mystery to me. Anyhow, we sat glaring at them, waiting to hear their excuses for how we may be corrupting society, by merely attending the prom together.

Clarke across her arms against her chest and held her anger in check. I sat waiting for them to trample all over our first amendment rights and I began to get angry for just being in this room with these intolerant people, having to explain how were we not a threat to this event. It wasn’t Clarke that was going to pick it a fight. It was me.

Principal Collins spoke first, “I understand you both want to attend the senior prom this year,” he paused and then said, "together."

“It’s what most seniors look forward to when they are about the graduate from school,” I said.

He sneered at me and from his position as authority over the school; I got the impression that he didn’t like me speaking up. I tried to keep my anger in check, but he was making it hard. What surprised me was Clarke had remained quiet. I glanced at her, and her expression showed a bit of regret. Maybe for how this was turning out, at having to defend our situation, at the time I didn't know for sure.

And as always as Clarke had done, I felt her hand go into mine under the desk, along with a squeeze. I felt a bolt of courage and brought our hands up and laid them together on top of the table, not afraid to show them that we cared for one another.

That drew a couple of gasps from two teachers and Joey’s parents. Honestly, I wasn't surprised at their reaction.

A principal coughed and looked at us and then to Clarke’s mother. In my mind, I dared him to say one word, just one word to her and I would go flying across the table. At that moment Clarke squeezed my hand again, and I took a calming breath. I knew she could feel my anger rising, and it was in her gentle squeeze that told me that she was with me all the way.

He spoke again, “We have received a petition from Mr. and Mrs. Novotny, stating that the parents of the children of this school request that your tickets to the prom, rescinded and denied, because of ethical and moral reasons and that it is corrupting to the values of this school and its children.

“Oh, it does? Does it say that we are guaranteed under the first amendment to our freedom of speech?” adding, “I have a copy of _Fricke v. Lynch_ that you can read. It states that you cannot infringe on our rights.” I slid the document across the table to him. I thought I had him.

He took a moment and read the paper then passed to the teacher next to him. Mr. Collins folded his hands together and continued to read the petition. “Our rights are being trampled on by your perversion Misses' Woods and Griffin. I’m sorry that you have this affliction, but it’s not safe to have our children exposed to your behavior.”

When Maggie tried to speak up, he put his hand up and stopped her. To say my blood was boiling was an understatement, and this is why I didn’t want to attend their stupid prom. This group of people narrowed our relationship down to a perversion, a sickness that would pollute their precious children's minds, and to our first amendments rights, they ignored it altogether.

We were outnumbered, teachers and the principal along with the petition signed by a majority of parents essentially rejected our right to attend. Mr. Collins gather his material, and as he left the room, he tossed the paper I had given him in the trash can, and they quickly adjourned the meeting and left us sitting at the table.

Maggie sighed, “I knew this wouldn’t go well, and I know you girls tried, but the prom is next week, and I don’t know if you still want to attend, but I have an idea that might make this the most memorable prom ever if you are interested.”

Word spread quickly about what happened in our meeting, and about twenty of our friends stood with us, almost a third of the graduating class.

On the night of the prom, Clarke’s mother and her boyfriend Rob worked with a group of kids and their parents along with Clarke and me to put on a dance in our backyard.

We decided on the theme and chose Paris as a location. Instead of boring prom dresses and suits, our friends dressed like young Parisian kids. Berets and striped shirts. The girls went all out with colorful tops and skirts that fit the theme perfectly.

Maggie helped me with my hair and had it styled like a young Audrey Hepburn in _Breakfast at Tiffany’s_ , down to a beautiful pearl necklace that was her mother's and long black gloves. I wore a sleeveless black dress like the one she wore designed by _Givenchy_ that went down past my knees. I finished the outfit with a tiara for my hair. Clarke and I decided to wait until that evening to reveal our costumes and to be surprised on our special night together. With my make-up finished, it was the moment we had been waiting for.

I heard the music coming from the backyard from the open window as Maggie finished my hair when I turned to look at myself in the mirror, I could help but grab her in a hug and thank her for standing with us. Maggie had been our support system since we were children and having her with us in this magical time made it more special. I know it meant so much for Clarke, I couldn’t thank her enough.

I could hear our friends already dancing and having a blast, and I finally went to greet them. Rob volunteered as the photographer had set up a picture booth with the Eiffel Tower as a backdrop. We had food and punch and hanging lights and flowers, and it was a beautiful setting.

As I stepped out into our backyard with the music started to play a new song, and that’s when I saw Clarke from the back swaying to the music, and my jaw dropped at the site. She had dressed in a black and white striped top that was opened partway down her back, and she wore billowy black pants and low heels. She had her hands in the pockets, and Clarke let her wavy blonde hair flow free. She was wearing a dark red beret tipped to one side, and when she turned around, I saw she was wearing make-up.

Okay, let me stop this right here. Clarke never wore make-up in the eight years I had known her. Maybe just cherry lip balm, but that was it.

Maggie must have helped her with her cat-eye makeup, blush on her cheeks and her lips. Her beautiful lips matched the color of her beret, and I was in love with her all over again.

I stepped out, and as gracefully as I could, I walked towards her and saw her gentle smile just for me. When we were in reaching distance, she grabbed both of my hands and put her forehead against mine and quietly whispered, “Can I have the next dance?” I could hear our friends cheering us on, and we shared every dance that night together.

What could have possibly turned out to be the worst day of our time in school became one of the best, because of the thoughtful care of Clarke’s mother and our friends, we felt like we belong.

_Epilog to this story: We sued the school for infringement of our civil rights and won an out of court settlement for $50,000. I gave my half to Clarke for college, since my father left me a considerable trust fund. The principal, Mr. Collins was arrested in 1990 for child pornography and spent some time in prison._

_Who was the pervert after all?_

***

Late in the day as the sun was setting and the camp was cleared of the dead, their scalps, weapons, and emblems removed. Lexa's deceased warriors placed on pyre and lit and the remaining warriors stood around paying respect to their fallen friends.

One very bloodshot green eye opened a peered at her partner. Clarke’s eyes were closed, and she was leaning against the pillow with the book they had found in her lap. Lexa looked down at her body and felt her forehead and pulled the material away used to cool her down. Her head was pounding and her vision still blurry, and the taste in her mouth was awful. She tried to reach for the mug of water next to her bed, and it fell to the ground between them waking Clarke out of her sleep.

“Lexa,” she said with a groggy voice. “Lexa, are you okay?” Clarke reached for her hand, and Lexa grabbed it and pulled it towards her.

“I’ve been better. The poison?”

“Yes, but it looks like you’re going to be okay now. Let me get you some more water. Are you hungry? I sure am.”

“Shh, wait, slow down I’m not going anywhere, Clarke.” Lexa laid back down, but Clarke was already out of the tent apparently to gather food and water. She sat up and put her legs over the edge of the cot and tested her strength. She stood up and was a bit wobbly, but her legs held.

Clarke rushed back inside. “You got to sit, please don’t overwork yourself.”

I’m all wet Clarke. I need to change.”

“Let me help.”

Lexa stopped and smiled at her. “What no comment?”

“I’m too scared to play with you right now. Let me help you into some dry clothes.”

“Very well Sky Girl.” She touched Clarke on her arm and pulled her close and shyly looked into eyes. “I love you also, Clarke.”

“You heard me?”

“I thought it was a dream. I love you with all my heart Clarke. I should have told you sooner. I’m sorry for not...”

“Stop, you don’t have to apologize. You’re going to be okay that’s all that matters. Sit down and let me feed you.”

“Hey, slow down Clarke, please sit with me.” Lexa opened her arms, and Clarke fell into them. Clarke’s lips went to her forehead to check if she was still hot. It had cooled off significantly over the hour's watching over her. Clarke put her hand on her chest and around her neck as Lexa watched in amusement.

“I’m better, see?”

Clarke hit her on her shoulder. “Don’t you ever do that to me again.”

Their meal consisted of bread and a meaty stew. Clarke’s stomach made its presence known, and it growled when she brought the first bite up to her mouth.

“Is this the first thing you’ve eaten today?”

“Same as you. I couldn’t eat.”

Lexa let this topic drop, for now, the new concern was a break in her alliance with the Ice Nation, even when a headache she was still suffering with, her thoughts turned to the current problem. Having her son in her captivity could be a bonus, a new piece of the puzzle she could move on her map and use to her advantage.

“I’m not surprised at Roan’s betrayal of his mother,” she mused as she tore off a piece of bread and dipped into the stew and took a bite. “He was raised outside her clan until he came of age and he may not have succumbed to the bittersweet taste the Nia breeds in her people.”

“How well do you know her?”

“I’ll understand more after I question him further. What I’ve seen of Nia, she is cruel and relentless, and her people follow her because she controls everything with an iron fist. No compromise and she rewards the people she allows around her who keep her safe, but I can’t imagine that they would stay loyal if another way was possible and she was less powerful over her people’s daily lives.”

“The meeting in Polis, she’ll be there correct?”

“As will you. You were right in wanting to be trained to defend yourself. When we get to Polis, I will start with you immediately.”

Lexa put her bowl down and let Star finish her portion.

“You’re not hungry?”

“I’ll get some more. I just wanted your wolf to eat. She alerted me to the invaders.”

Clarke looked down at her devouring the meal. Star looked up hoping for more. “What a good girl.” Clarke followed suit and let her finished and her lick her bowl clean. “I’ll us get some more.”

“I’ll join you.”

They walked to the fire, and her men stood and bowed, relieved to see she was well. Octavia and Lincoln sat around the fire, and they joined them. Clarke rinsed their bowls and refilled them with the steaming stew. She dipped in and pulled out a chunk of meat and tossed it to Star.

“She’s getting taller,” Lexa remarked. Her paws were large, and soon she would be coming up to her hip in height. Star sat down in front of both of them and soon the other warriors were sharing bits of their meal with her.

Lexa stood up after having a mug filled and addressed her clan. “Trikru warriors, today you showed great courage defeating the traitors of the Azgeda, and to our brothers who fought and died well, to our fallen we honor them.” Lexa held up her mug and chanted, “Yu gonplei ste odon.”

Her warriors stood and repeated the statement, Clarke joining them and repeated along.

“Your courage in the face of the unknown honors their deaths, and for that I am grateful. Courage isn’t only won on the battlefield but won in diplomacy when our differences can be matched with words and not blood." Lexa's voice grew louder and with conviction as she continued and looked around to her gonas, "We will fight to defend, we will fight when it is necessary. What we will not do is fight just to kill and destroy. We will find peace in our lifetime, and you will help pass this to your offspring and into the next generation. Your sacrifice today will bring hope to our future. You honor me with your courage.”


	20. Chapter 20

Clarke thought the forest would fade away once they got closer to Polis, it didn't. The roads leading to the city, however, did open up to carry the larger wagons that hauled goods to and from the city. The horse's moved a little faster as the beginnings of the town sprung up around them, and soon the gates of Polis could be seen in the distance. Fotam sniffed the air and increased her pace. Clarke could only guess, she also sensed home.

The sun broke through the tops of the trees as Clarke shaded her eyes to see a tall building in the distance, and could make out, that attached to its side was the banner for the Trikru Clan waving in the breeze. Like Lexa’s throne, she first saw her sitting on those long months ago; its symbol was of an ancient tree with limbs twisted in a circle meeting into the roots and continuing, she supposed, the cycle of life.

As they rode through the gates, the noise of the city grew louder, and people of Polis waited along its path. Greetings rose up from them, and they bowed and waved to the Commander as they proceed. It was when Lexa passed her Trikru warriors lining the pathway closer to the tower they reached out to touch her legs with their hands and then put a fist to their chest. Clarke could see how they loved her as the people stood respectfully entranced. Lexa sat taller on Draco, almost regal as the clops of the horse's hoof beat echoed through the town like they were a returning army lead by their victorious general. Clarke gazed at Lexa and saw that she didn't reveal any emotions like an ordinary person would have done, but of a stoic leader, present and powerful.

Star stood in front of Clarke having grown used to riding on the Fotam's back. Her front paws that were firmly resting on the horse neck keeping her steady. Clarke wondered if the people of Polis who saw her with this dark wild animal knew this to be a sign of loyalty to her.

Clarke sat straighter on Fotam as Lexa's men also reached out to touch her legs, to show deference and gleaning a connection to her, to _Wanheda_. Clarke felt the surge of respect within their hands as a wave of belonging filled her heart. She began to understand why Lexa wanted to protect her people. They were her family. She felt the connection as deeply as she had felt for her clan.

They came to a stop from a raised hand from Lexa, and they dismounted their horses as workers quickly gather the animals and led them to a nearby stable. Together, they passed through the open doors, guarded by her warriors and followed behind Lexa as she led them to the tall building. The hallway was dark and musty as her eyes tried to adjust to its dim light and squinted when it opened into a large brightly lit chamber.

Dust motes stirred as they moved through the large open room, floating high in the air as the light from the large windows cast their shadows along the walls. Clarke gazed at the surroundings and had no idea it would be this huge. She had pictured a place, not unlike Tondc and to see a more massive structure surprised her.

“You didn’t tell me that it was going to be so enormous Lexa,” she said.

Lexa lifted her chin and watched Clarke and her friends take in her home. “I thought since you fell from the sky, my city would be of no compare. But, welcome to my home." Lexa motioned to a cage to one side of the room. "My quarters are on the top.”

They stepped inside the lift, as Clarke watched with interest as the gated doors clanged shut. Lexa signaled her men, and they began cranking a wheel and slowly made their way up the shaft. It was a frightening experience for Clarke, and she stood closer to Lexa’s side. The feeling of being in this closed space and free air underneath them scared her.

“It’s okay. It won’t drop." Lexa pointed to a lever that would stop the descent if the mechanism failed.

“If you say so.” Clarke kept her eyes closed anyway and placed her hand in Lexa's.

Harper leaned over to Murphy and whispered, “You’re not going to get sick are you?”

“Ha, ha. No Harper.” Murphy turned around. Seemly hating the elevator as much as Clarke and gave her weak smile.

The trip took several minutes and came to a stop with a creaking groan, and Lexa motioned to them step out, then led them down a long corridor. The hall was unadorned but clean, and as they passed opened doors to somewhat empty rooms. Clarke peered inside one and spotted fighting equipment. Other chambers held small beds and furniture, apparently for her assistants and cooks.

Lexa guided Murphy and Harper then an open the door to a room. “You can stay here in these quarters, and I will have a meal sent to you. If you require anything else, follow the hallway down and to the right for my assistants. They’ll provide for all of your needs.”

"Thanks, Commander," Harper said.

Harper nudged Murphy in the side breaking him out of his stupor. "Oh yeah, Thanks for the room."

They left them to explore this new space, while they continued to the far in of the hallway.

Lexa opened the door and led her inside to her private quarters as a breeze caught the light curtains causing them to blow open. Clarke found herself drawn to the balcony and stepped outside. Her lips parted as she gazed across the land. Seeing for the first time, the expanse of Polis. Trees for miles as smoke rose from the village and could smell the scents of food cooking. Long ago broken buildings dotted the area, and a cacophony of sounds caught the air and carried up to her.

“Wow.” Clarke stood in awe, looking out over the land. “I had no idea.” Clarke turned and saw Lexa watching her. Lifting her chin and giving away the pride she must feel for her home. It drew Clarke to her side and into arms. "Thanks for bringing me to your home." Lexa held Clarke around her waist, and they rocked in place for a moment.

Clarke pulled back with the meaning to kiss Lexa and did as they continued to move in place, then she opened her eyes, and her words bubbled out with a surprised joy, “Your bed!” Clarke pushed pass Lexa and plopped down on the surface and fell onto her back and ran her hands over the covers. "This is nice. Join me? Clarke patted a spot next to her, inviting Lexa over.

Lexa sat down beside Clarke and then onto her back beside her with a groan. “There’s so much work yet to be done. I have to meet with my council. Later, I need to start preparing for my ambassadors. I have to visit the stables and get my warriors ready for any conflict that may arise." Then paused when hearing Clarke's stomach growl. "But first, I need to feed you and later perhaps I could start training you?"

"I'd like that. What should I do now?"

"Make yourself at home, Clarke." Lexa leaned up and kissed the top of her forehead. "I will return within the hour." Lexa removed some of her gear and left Clarke laying on her bed.

Clarke watched her leave gazed around the room and then up at the ceiling. Over her bed hung a light material that gathered in the center and feathered out and was attached to the four wooden post in each corner. The headboard partly covered the wall and was an intricately designed wooden scrollwork. Laying on the bed was draped in soft material. Gone were the smelly furs that they had used on the road. This material was lighter and had a colorful design of Lexa’s clan covering the entire length. Clarke rolled off the bed and straightened the spread out. No more jumping on the bed, she thought and noticed that at the head of the bed was a mess of pillows in an assortment of sizes. _Hmm, nice touch, Commander._

Around the room, there were a significant number of candles sitting in different size vases and holders. Clarke chuckled to herself and shook her head. Looking around and seeing them hanging from the ceiling and along the walls. _Well, they don't have any electricity, so that makes sense._

It was when she gazed around she discovered that her partner collected things. Lexa had an assortment of knives and swords, of course. But other objects looked like gifts from her people. Small carvings of animals and other odds and ends. Clarke smiled at understanding something new about her. That this was Lexa’s stuff; things she must have held dear. It was surprising finding out that her stoic somewhat rigid partner held onto them and placed the carving of what looked like a miniature bear holding a bouquet of flowers in its tiny paws back on her table.

The room also held a unique collection of furniture. A few sofas and shelves lined with books. And to one side a standing closet next to a back wall. Clarke was drawn to it and found inside that it contained Lexa's clothing. They were regular clothes and not gear she wore on the road and in battle, but of comfortable shirts and pants. Mostly dark and faded colors, but a few items caught her eye.

In the back corner of the closet, Lexa had hidden away a few gowns, and she reached out to touch one of them. Pulling out one to see if would fit. It was worn but still beautiful. Holding it out over her body and noticed hanging on the inside of the closet door, an old faded mirror and saw her reflection for the first time in ages.

Clarke wasn’t that light skin girl who first stepped off the dropship those long months ago. No, her face held a few scars, and her skin had tanned over the months of living outdoors. Her hair had grown close to a half a foot and leaned closer to look into her clear bright blue eyes. Her eyes that once only saw the Earth from the heavens now held in them a new wonder and experience of all she witnessed.

Star sat by her legs and peered up as Clarke gazed at herself in the mirror, and then saw her reflection in the mirror for the first time. Jumping back with a yelp, nearly causing Clarke to stumble as she glanced over her shoulder at Star hiding behind her legs.

“Hey, it’s just your reflection silly.” Clarke stepped out of the way, and Star went back to the mirror and pawed and licked at it. She sneezed and turned her back and jumped onto the bed. “Ooh, no bed Star, off.” Star laid on her side, then on her back with her paws in the air in playful submission. Her tongue lolled to the side, looking adorable. Clarke padded her legs summoning her to listen, “No, bed Star. Off!” Star sneezed again, sitting up and then jump to the floor.

Clarke wandering into another room, stopping in place at finding the largest bathtub she had ever seen. Surrounding the tub was more candles and at least half a dozen bottles holding different colored liquids. She tried one, and the smell was dreamy. She wondered how Lexa would fill it with water and tried one of the taps nothing came out. Thinking, that they must have to haul the water with the lift. _It’s good to be the Commander_ , she mused.

Clarke returned to the main room when she heard a knock and opened the door and was surprised to see a stranger. “Hello, can I help you?”

“Wanheda.” He bowed as he pushed a cart into the room. Lexa entered behind him and motioned him to leave it next to the sofa at the end of the bed.

Her arms, now filled with messages, and she laid them on the table and thanked the assistant as he back away meaning to shut the door.

“Wait, what’s your name?” Clarke asked. The young man looked at Lexa for guidance, and she nodded her head.

“My name is Stefon.”

“Thank you, Stefon.” He smiled as he back out of the room bowing again as he shut the door.

Clarke picked over the trays covering the table and filled her plate with fruits, vegetables, and sliced meat. Lexa brought out a bowl and filled it water and sat another of food for Star next to them and made a plate for herself.

They ate in silence when Lexa finally spoke up, “Time is running short Clarke. The clans will be arriving within the fortnight. That gives us less than two weeks to train you. Do you remember when I first told you about the Ice Nation, and of Queen Nia?”

“Yes, she killed your, _umm_ Costia.” Clarke hesitancy was one of concern for Lexa's feelings, and shamefully she was a little jealous.

"Correct. Nia's cruelty met out on Costia was to find my secrets. She knew of nothing and yet they tortured and...” She looked down she couldn’t finish the rest and continued, “My point is, even allowing her into my alliance her treachery is evident, and now with her attempt to capture you; I believe she wasn’t aware that I was with you.”

“So you’ve talked with Roan?”

“No, I haven’t. It didn’t make any sense to try to capture you if the Queen knew I was with you. It defeats her purpose of claiming she didn’t order this. Nia was caught in a trap of her own making. Her son confirms it was her plan. Still, I’m not sure how much I should say to him right now. He is, after all, still her offspring.”

"That worries you?"

“I am apprehensive. The players are moving across the map, Clarke. Sliding into places and we’ve got to figure out how to stop her. Keep her for disrupting our peace alliance. My people have been at war for too long, and I know they are sick of the death and the destruction, but even still it’s hard to break from the old ways.” Lexa took a bite of bread covered in slices of meat and looked around her bedroom. "I hope you find my home comfortable."

“I do Lexa. It's very roomy, but where will I stay?”

Lexa stopped eating. “Well, I just...I guess I could find you a room, but you're welcome to stay here. That’s what I meant by to make yourself at home.”

“What about the other clans? Won’t they find out I’m with you?”

Lexa laughed, “No, not likely. No one outside my clan is allowed on this floor. All our meetings are held just below, in The Great Hall. So no, not unless a loose tongue wags in the wrong direction and even if they do, you are here as my guest.”

"What happens next?"

“Clarke the problem is simple, the Ice Queen wants to rule over all the people and their lands. Install her leaders to each of the other eleven clans, effectually taking over each one for herself. My goal on the other hand only to be the commander of our alliance, allowing them to guide their lands in our cooperation and treaty."

“Why wouldn’t the other clans agree to this?”

“For now they haven’t. Nia has tasted power. And she wants more. The Queen wasn’t always this corrupt and ruthless. Nia worked with her clan within her family to take control, and they were for a time at peace for a few years. It was when her older brother became King, things began to change, he led a raid on a smaller tribe, and the Queen lost her mate as a result. Word spread that she poison her brother to seize power for herself. She blamed him for her lover's death and was never the same after that. The Ice Nation has suffered ever since. How she continues to hold on to power is the mystery. Her lust for domination has blinded her. Nia doesn’t know what her son revealed to us. She's in the dark about the knowledge we possess about her plans.”

Clarke picked up a piece of fruit and examined it as she listened to Lexa. Fresh fruit was rare on the Ark, and it was abundant now that she was living on earth and it gave her an idea. "So, the twelve clans, eleven excluding the Ice Nation, for now, are not on board with what you think Nia's planning, correct?"

"Yes, that is partly true. I have been in contact with the leaders of a majority of my clans, and they have assured me that our coalition is holding."

Clarke couldn't understand why Nia would destroy everything and ask, "What is the one thing that always corrupts people, Lexa?"

Lexa thought for a moment and said, "Power. Certainly, the power to control people's daily lives can be intoxicating. I felt the pull when I became Heda."

“Fear can also motivate people. Do you think that Queen Nia fears you?”

Lexa thought for a moment as Clarke watched her contemplate an answer. “Fear isn’t the word I would use to describe what intimidates Nia.”

“I’m not talking about intimidates. What I’m asking, does Nia fear about you?”

Lexa looked deeply into Clarke’s eyes, trying to figure out this puzzle with Clarke. She was experienced in strategy and had played games like this as a young warrior. Clarke seems to be a natural at making her think. Lexa smiled at her partner’s question.

“Queen Nia desires to overthrow me and seize complete power. But, if she does fear me, then I can use that to my advantage.” Lexa pause to take a drink and continued, “Nia’s goal has always been to disrupt our alliance. I had sense among the clans before you came from the sky, that the Queen's plan of dominance was weakening and needs that one thing that will tip the balance of power and can seize it with you. My ambassadors all speak of you, of Wanheda. You possess the real strength that is unheard of in our world.”

Clarke held up her hand to stop, Lexa. “Wait, Lexa. She believes in superstition. That somehow I have this great power. You know that isn’t true, right? The simple truth is Nia is a bully, and she fears she will lose her way of life against you.” Clarke stopped to let her let this sink in. “She fears losing power, and her way of striking back is to dominate the other tribes, to take control, by trying to capture and probably kill me, and take over the coalition. What breaks her goal of winning? It's that nothing will change for the eleven other clans, she offers them nothing in exchange for their loyalty. Their existence will become toxic and restrict their growth; your people will gain nothing from her but a life of misery. The difference is you offer your people hope.”

Clarke tossed Lexa the piece of fruit she had been holding over to Lexa, and she quickly caught it. Lexa smiled and started to understand what Clarke was trying to tell her in her a subtle way.

“You can offer your alliance a better world. Nia can only offer them subjugation through her control.”

Lexa contemplated her words. “Can we not use you to our advantage, Clarke?”

“I don’t see how, not yet.” Clarke was alarmed, now the idea that somehow she could defeat a Queen of a powerful clan was sobering.

“Nia craves what you have, having you as a symbol of the slayer of the mountain in her hand would undermine my alliance, it would give her the leverage she so desired, it makes me sick Clarke. If Nia challenges my position as Heda, I will fight to defend our treaties. Of that, nothing could make me more determined to win this battle.”

Clarke added, “Remember that bullies are also cowards in disguise. It must be consent struggle to maintain that kind of power. It could easily slip out of her control if her people see you as their only hope. What I've begun to understand about you Lexa, is that what you have to offer is life and a better future for all of your people."

Clarke continued to pick at her meal her mind spinning with ideas; she had more to say, but for now, she put it away. “Before my friends leave for home, I want to send a message back with them, to let my mom know we arrived in one piece.”

“Of course, Clarke.” Lexa indicated to her desk and saw it held what she needed to pen a note for home.

~

Lexa met Clarke in the hallway just outside of her practice room, after visiting her friends and giving them a message for home. “Would you like to start your training?”

“Sure.”

Clarke followed Lexa into the room and shut the doors behind her. She lit candles surrounding the large open space. The chamber faced east, leaving the place dim in the fading day.

“Training should be in the mornings, but we’ve had such a late start this will have to do.” Lexa pulled a wood sword off the rack in the corner and tossed it to Clarke who almost dropped it, feeling the weight and gripped its handle.

“Shouldn’t I be practicing with the real thing?”

“Not yet. I want you to get used to the feel and weight of the wooden practice blade. Turn it around in your hand like this.” Lexa twirled the sword around to loosen up her arm, bringing it around and slicing backward and twisting it around to take out an invisible opponent in front. “Visualize your movements, Clarke. See your opponents stance and block their forward progress. Take the advantage when they drop their position. Look for an opening.” Lexa glided around the room taking out each imaginary opponent. “Do not feel for them. Your opponents are your enemy, they mean to kill you. So strike hard with your blows and don’t hold back.”

She watched Lexa and followed her movements, Lexa stopped a few times to correct her stance and showed her where to place her feet when making a blow and how to block a plunge. They practiced for the better part of an hour, taking a break as Lexa continued to tell her of different ways to avoid being hurt. “Tomorrow will spar like in battle. See if you remembered what I taught you today.”

Lexa took her practice sword and mounted it back into its rest. “Okay, so, you said you also wanted to learn hand to hand combat?”

“Yes, like close quarters. If someone caught from behind, how do I break their hold.”

“Do it to me.” She tossed her a wood knife. “Put this to my throat and hold me from behind.”

Clarke was hesitant but did as she as instructed. Lexa placed a thumb on the outside of her hand squeezed lightly. _“Eeeooowouch.”_ Clarke cried out.

Lexa did it again and it out effectively made her drop the blade that she caught in midair and twirled it around with a flourish and had the knife at Clarke's neck in seconds and faked a slice across her throat. “That is how you get out of their hold and will work on a large man, as well. But you must not hesitate to cause them pain as you squeezed down with your thumb. That area on the hand is vulnerable.”

Clarke shook her hand out. “Let me try that again.” Lexa didn’t use the same technique. This time she brought her arm up and lightly touched her elbow to Clarke’s nose.

“Tricky Heda. Okay, one more time."

This time, Lexa grabbed her hand and pulled her around and brought her knee up to her groin lightly and then a fake punch to her throat and then up to her nose.

“Okay, okay there’s more than one way to get out of their hold. Let’s work on the first one.”

They trained for another hour and ended up on wrestling on the ground. Clarke had Lexa pinned her around the waist with her legs and wrapped her arms around her back stopping her movements. Lexa tapped her arm, and Clarke released her falling over on her back. She put her hand in the air and mocked a hash mark. “One for the sky girl, fifty for Heda.”

Lexa laughed at her remark. “You learn fast Clarke.” She rolled over and put out her hand to pull her up.

"Will start again in the morning." Clarke pulled her to her chest and wrapped her arms around.

“Gotcha!” Her lips pressed against Lexa's, and that led to a lengthy and humid kiss.

“Let’s get you fed,” Lexa mumbled against her lips, then pulled back and placed a kiss on the tip of her nose.

~

“Hmm,” Clarke sighed as she slipped further into the water. Lexa helped washed her hair earlier, and now as she laid back into the hot soapy water, she could finally begin to relax. Candles were lit and surrounded the tub. Lexa was at the other end and had one of Clarke’s feet in her hand kneading and working out the soreness. It made her forget at least for the moment what was pending down the road.

“You did fine work today Clarke. I’m proud of you.” Lexa kissed the bottom of her foot and dropped it down into the soapy water and brought her other foot up to give it the same treatment.

“Thanks, but I know I’ve got a lot more work to do. Like were to but my feet and not trip. The threat of having a real opponent who intends to kill me isn’t the same. It’s life and death. I'm beginning to realize this now.”

“You’ll be prepared that’s the point. It will give you an advantage if an enemy doesn't believe you can defend yourself. You know the attack where the opponent has a blade to your throat?”

“Mm-hmm,” Clarke drawled. Her eyes were closed, and she was becoming limp as Lexa’s strong hands massaged her feet.

“One technique I should have taught you is called _rid op hef_ , roughly, the sleeping man.”

One blue eye opened and looked over at her. “You’re kidding me.”

Lexa chuckled. “No, I’m serious. Just let your body go limp, it could throw the opponent off not expecting you to collapse. A smaller opponent wouldn’t be able to hold you up. You have to take the advantage when the situation arises. Not all attacks will be the same, and not all of your defensive moves will be either.”

Clarke worried her lower lip and needed to change the subject. “My head is spinning with all of this. Can we talk about something else for now?”

"Of course." Lexa took the invitation and dropped Clarke's foot and crawled over into Clarke’s space and purred, “I could tell you about the depth of your blues eyes, and when I gaze into them, I see my soul.” Lexa ran her lips along Clarke's cheek ending at her mouth.

“Hmm. You're my warrior poet,” Clarke wrapped her wet arms around Lexa's neck and drew her down to her. Grinning against Lexa's mouth as a lost memory bubble up into her mind.

Her heart remembered and could readily be overwhelmed with all these emotions it drew up in her of their past. Wondering if it was possible to fall more deeply in love with Lexa. The depth of the attentiveness Lexa gave her had washed away all the pain she felt at her betrayal that had almost killed her. Their connection she now sensed within every cell of her body.

The stories she read to Lexa as they journeyed from Arkadia to Polis were intriguing and felt true in her heart. It had given her hope that maybe in this life she could see herself growing old with Lexa once more. Sharing a lifetime full of love and happiness with the struggles and rewards.

Lexa brought her lips to Clarke's and slid her tongue inside. Rocking her body into Clarke as their breasts touched and she ended up almost laying over her. The steam coming up from of the soapy water surrounding them made it easy for Lexa to slide against her.

With a splash, Lexa sat back and pulled Clarke’s legs around her body and up into her lap. Lexa's wet soapy breasts rested just under hers as she wrapped her arms around Clarke's back and into her eyes. “I love you.”

Lexa sensed her heart grown a few sized bigger when Clarke's eye grew dark and wanting. She ran her hand over Clarke's ass and dipped lightly into Clarke’s depth and felt a thicker wetness gathering at her entrance.

Lexa thrust upwards with two fingers as her mouth connected with Clarke’s in a clash of lips for only seconds until she surged upward and her head fell back as Lexa kisses moved from her mouth along her chin to her pulse point. She brought her hand up to cup Clarke’s breast as lips found her nipple made firm in the cooling air and bathed it with her tongue. Clarke rocked against her stomach angling her hips to connect with her.

The vision of Clarke in ecstasy as she bit at her breast and touching the clinging wet walls sucking her deeper until Clarke drew her into a long wet kiss. Pulling back whispered, “Let’s finish this in your bed.”

Lexa corrected, "Our bed."

~

Clarke was flat on her back with a very naked and shy Lexa hovering over her. Presently Clarke was trying to coax Lexa to move just a little higher. For a moment Lexa was unsure, seemingly afraid almost at what Clarke was suggesting.

"I will crush you, Clarke."

Clarke's laugh was without judgment and said, "You won't, I swear. Please, will you come here?" Clarke playful tapped her chest trying to ease Lexa's uncertainty. "If you don't like it will stop, deal?"

Lexa stalled by kissing Clarke once more. It was her favorite thing to do. The first kiss those long months ago seemed almost rushed, even though they had taken a moment in the chaos to feel until Clarke pulled back and told her. 'I'm sorry. I'm not ready to be with anyone, not yet. It had stung a bit, and she felt afraid that she might have misunderstood Clarke's words she said earlier. 'Maybe life should be more than surviving. And when she quietly added looking away. 'Don't we deserve better than that."

Lexa had uttered, 'Maybe we do. In her heart, something awoke, and when she stepped closer to Clarke and kissed her lips, tentatively connecting with her and then when Clarke kissed her back, her heart soared.

Now, here she was with Clarke in their bed and firmly entrenched in her heart trying to get the courage to let the sky girl take her to a place she had never been before. She kissed her once more and moved to sit over Clarke in the most intimate position she had ever taken in her bed. Not even with Costia had she experience so much deep affection from another living soul and to be sharing with Clarke, was a gift she felt she didn't deserve.

She settled slowly down onto Clarke as she pulled her further down, and her hips jerked when she sensed Clarke's warm flat tongue move across her slit. She grabbed for her headboard, letting her feel grounded for a moment until Clarke pushed her tongue inside her. Lexa closed her eyes and let her body relax in the sensation.

Lexa felt wet and hot and tripped out a moan when her mind played this imagine over in of Clarke underneath her and moving inside of her. It was almost too much, almost. Her body found a natural rhythm and rolled slowly over Clarke's mouth, sighing when she felt her clit twitch when Clarke gathered her into her mouth and started to suck on her, seeing sparks behind her closed eyes. A whirlwind of emotions overcame her and a connection to her soulmate. She had found love among the ruins of their world.

Clarke moved one arm around her body and up to cup one breast. Lexa pressed tight to her chest and became aware of Clarke's other hand. She peeked over her shoulder and saw Clarke moving her fingers through her wet curls and playing with her clit. The thought of Clarke touching herself brought a wave of pleasure to Lexa's hips, and she thrust against her mouth a little firmer. Coming to the edge not wanting to jump just yet.

The picture in her head of what Clarke was doing was too much, hearing and feeling her hand moving firmly across her sex causing Lexa to cry out as her climax started to build. A low moan caught in Clarke's lips vibrating against her and was what sent her over to her orgasm. Jerking over and over and flooding Clarke's face and chest with her release.

Lexa raised off of Clarke's mouth and slid her body down to moving down between her legs. She gently moved Clarke's hand away and buried her face between her legs. Licking through her as Clarke's hand found hers. She opened her up and pushed her tongue deeper between her legs. Clarke's slick and scent coating Lexa's chin.

She wanted to know every inch of her. Taste her, claim all of Clarke. The woman who saved her. The woman who knew her better than herself. The woman she loved with all of her heart.

Clarke shuddered and opened her legs wider and reaching down pulled Lexa closer, clinging to her. Feeling her heart connecting to Clarke's and when she came, Clarke cried out her name.

~

Clarke was wide awake somewhere in the middle of the night. Her mind was all a jumble. A bit confused again at where she was. She could see the outline of Lexa's body next to her and felt her warmth under the covers.

She tried to fall back asleep but knew her mind well enough, the only thing that could help to sleep was to read. Clarke spotted the book laying on the table just out of reach. Her current dilemma, how to move without waking her bed partner. Clarke shifted across the bed meaning to crawl toward the end of the bed and heard a quiet whisper from her partner.

"Can't sleep?" Lexa drawled.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you. Reading my help me fall back asleep."

"No problem," Lexa yawned and leaned over and lit a candle.

***

  
_When Your Colors Became Our Canvas_

 

I fell into a deep depression after my mother died. Tragically at the hands of a man, she desperately tried to love. A cruel, and painful ache that Clarke sought to pull me from. I had fallen so deep into despair only she could save me.

To add more salt to an ever-festering wound, he had killed her on my eighteen birthday, and I was now an adult and unable to cope with another loss. My father died just a few years prior, and I had just become to reckon with his death. I still miss him so.

The horrible news came from Clarke's dear mother, Maggie after I had arranged for our first time together to be alone in a cabin in the mountains just after I became an adult.

It was fall and colors were seeping from the leaves, trying desperately to hold onto their vibrate greens, but finally giving way as the cycle nature had intended and it stirred into the membranes of yellows and reds.

We drove down the road in our car as trees rushed past us and the leaves turned to blur of colors as my mind contemplated the girl sitting next to me. My beautiful patient adorable partner. Before this day, and many days before we had shared stolen kisses in our treehouse. Tucked into blankets watching old movies, holding hands out of sight of prying eyes with looks shared over lunches, dinners, and homework. Reading erotic lesbian novels to her as we shared our intimate secrets. It held us in check until this day.

This day so full of promises and new chapter between us. It was perfect. My girl by my side, contently resting her head against the back of the seat as I cupped her thigh and we traveled through light and dark patches of the fading day. Winding down the road until our fate to connect was finally given its due.

I contemplated the destiny that brought us together. What had been composed of choices and chance? Love shared through joy and pain. Our lives became one, the moment we met. Waiting until the proper timing and adulthood brought our souls together to unite a bond stronger than steel and as soft as a kiss shared between lovers.

Clarke spent many hours just holding me after we had received word of the tragedy. I was in a fog of pity and shame. Shame for not being there for my mother and pity for myself. I felt selfish for wanting to go back to the hours before when we joined our bodies together. A tangle of arms and legs and how our mouths and hands touched sacred places.

Clarke had finally eased my mind and spoke about how life is viewed by the perception of our place in it. A heady topic, no doubt. But she was right. I had thought my life as a line heading into the future, but at times drawn backward or completely stopping and forcing me to face truths that sucked all beauty and wonder from my sight.

Coping with the loss had made my world go black, but there was this little light shining in that dark. When I moved forward again, the light became my whole world. Standing at my side was Clarke, bringing with her the colors that painted our canvas. Her hand in mine, ready to face whatever the world would throw at us. Then I knew I would be safe, and loved by the one I cherished with all my heart. My sweet savior, my beloved Clarke.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of home.

"I wonder what's up," Murphy remarked to no one in particular, standing up in his stirrups attempting to relieve his numb legs and ass. The group of five riders rounded the last stand of trees on the path leading into the camp, pulling their horses to a stop as Arkadia came into view.

The people of Arkadia gathered near the front of the gate as their voices grew in volume, sounding somewhat confused and carrying over the open field to where they waited.

"Greeting party?" Harper answered.

Murphy sat back down and half-heartedly agreed with a shrug of his shoulder, too tired to reply. Closing his eyes as the waves of exhaustion seemed to weight him down. They started moving again as his horse followed behind the others until they were at the gate.

The group of riders now muddy, tired and relieved to be home. The delinquents traveled back with a few of the Commander's elite guards for protection and rode hard, arriving in less than two days. A record according to one of Lexa's warriors. Instructions from the Commander was to bring Clarke's message to her people immediately.

As they approached the camp, the guards didn't hesitate, opening the gates, inviting them home along with their new friends. The sky people surrounded them, asking questions to numerous to answer at once. Causing Murphy to back his horse up, putting his hands up in frustration.

"Damn, give us a minute."

The people stood aside as he slid off the horse, bumping into Abby as she broke through the crowd. She caught him, by his arms when he stumbled.

“John, are they safe? Did you make to Polis?”

Harper looked at him as he yawned and answered for him, “Yes, but we did have trouble on the road. The Ice Nation warriors attacked our camp a few days into our trip. The Commander lost a few of her men. Luckily Octavia and Lexa were only slightly injured."

"I'm sorry to hear that. So Clarke is okay?"

"Oh yeah. Clarke took care of Octavia and Lexa after the fighting was over."

Abby let out a relieved breath letting the tension she carried subside. She addressed her guards, "Set up an area for our friends and give them food and drink. And please show them an area where they can set up their camp." She nodded to the three warriors who dismounted, and they returned the same understanding.

"Abby, I have a message from Clarke." Murphy removed the satchel from his shoulder, handing it over to her.

Abby placed a hand on his arm relaxing her face into a smile. "Get something to eat and rest."

"Sleep first, then grub." Harper rolled her eyes at Murphy and pushed him towards the Ark.

Abby read over the notes from Clarke as she walked back into the Ark and called for Jaha and Kane standing outside of the council room in another argument.

"Hey Monty. Could you do me a favor and ask for Raven to join us?"

"You bet, Mrs. G." Making an about face and heading back in the direction he came.

~

“Have a seat Raven,” Abby said.

“Sure, what’s up?” Lifting her sore leg and resting on the chair beside her.

“Clarke sent back some plans I'd like you to take a look at." Abby spread out the message over the table in front of Raven. She read over her notes as Abby leaned in. "Clarke came up with an idea and needs you expert technical advice on how to implement. She added a drawing to the plan. Can you check it out and see if it is possible to construct this device?"

Raven studied the design nodding to Abby. It looked to be a two-way communication system, or it was what it appeared. She reviewed it for a few minutes and made a few notes in the margins.

"Clarke wants to be in contact with us from Polis, with a two-way radio?" Raven questioned. "What she's asking won't work over the long distance, at most, maybe 30 miles with the gear with have now. And that's without any obstruction, like mountains."

Abby pushed over the map that Murphy and Harper had made on the way to Polis. "Does this help?"

The route outlined the path to Polis. They marked the direction on the crude map indicated a few mountains along the way. Mostly what Harper wrote about the trip was _Trees. Trees._ _Oh, look, more trees._ Raven chuckled to herself.

"Yeah, sort of, but I need to create a way for Clarke to keep the device charged and an antenna. Give me a couple of hours and let me see if I can come up with something." Raven pulled her resting leg off of the chair and stood up.

Abby rolled up the plans and handed it over to her. "Do the best you can."

~

Raven bent over a section of electric equipment, soldering a loose wire on a post, blowing on the piece as she set the hot iron on its rest. Then shuttered. It was the sensation of someone watching her that drew her attention to the left of her, now hearing movement near the opening to her workshop.

Without glancing up, she rested her hands on her thighs, working out the plans that Clarke had sent in her head and called out, "Don't be shy. Come inside if you want, Wick."

Raven straighten her workstation, collecting the parts she needed for the second radio; when something itched at her when too many seconds passed, glancing up when he didn't answer and saw a small girl standing at the entrance instead.

She raised her eyebrows remembering the quick introduction from Bellamy when they arrived. She was the young sister of Echo from the Ice Nation. "Oh. Hi. I'm sorry. I thought you were someone else. Come on inside. What's your name?"

The girl stared at her and then to the surrounding room. "My name is Nara."

"Hi, Nara. I'm Raven. It's nice to meet you. You can come in if you want."

"What are you doing?" Nara asked, walking bravely into the strange room. Since arriving at Arkadia, the newcomers dressed in more familiar clothes; hand-me-downs from the younger children of the Ark. Raven recognized a shirt she had seen on one of the other children she grew up with on the Ark.

"I could tell you, but I'm not sure if you would understand," Raven said.

Nara held her hands behind her back and stood so much like the Commander herself. A quiet and interesting pose for a girl so young. She tilted her head towards Raven as she motioned to a stool.

Nara moved to sit down next to her and looked up at her with inquisitive eyes. "I can learn."

Raven smirked. _Okay, kid._ "I'm fixing this radio so that I can communicate with a friend in Polis."

Nara blinked her eyes and annunciated the words slowly, "What's a ray-d-o?"

Raven picked up one of the devices she was working on and explained, "I push this button down on this side and speak into this transmitter, my voice is carried along radio waves and is picked up by this other device which has a receiver, and they can hear my voice over a long distance."

Nara squinted. Raven watched as her mind tried to wrap its self around the odd statement. It must have sounded like Raven told her the sky is now red, and rain fell upward instead of down and watched as a frown appeared.

"I don't understand."

Raven laughed then pursed her lips and thought for a moment. An idea came to her and pulled out a piece of paper and started to draw. She put two points on the paper and drew a slightly curved line between them. She then put a stick person on either side holding a small rectangle to represent a radio.

"Okay, let's try this again. Let's say I'm this person right here." She pointed to one of the stick figures. "See, I'm holding this radio." Then pointed to the one she was working on and Nara nodded her head. "When I press on this button and speak into this device, my voice is carried on radio waves and is picked up by this person." She pointed to the other stick person on her paper.

"Is it magic?" Nara's eyes went wide in wonder.

"No, it's not magic. It's science. Here let me show you." She picked up the device and limped to a back of the room and put it on a shelf. "Stand over here, near this instrument." Nara back away about to leave. "It's okay. I promise it won't hurt you." Nara watched Raven for a moment, giving her an easy smile and followed her instructions. Walking over and stood next to the shelf. "Awesome. Okay, wait right there." Raven gave her a wink and stepped outside of her workshop. She gave the call sign for signal strength, "Testing, one, two, three." Raven peeked inside and saw Nara's mouth hanging open staring at the radio. She quietly returned into the room and to where Nara was standing still gazing at the device. "Does it make a little more sense now?"

Nara jumped. "How did you do that?"

Raven twisted her mouth, thinking of another idea. 'Ah. She thought of another approach. "Let's sit back at my workstation." She flipped over the paper and drew a circle. "So, have you ever thrown a rock into a body of water, like a pond or a river?" Nara nodded her head firmly. "Do you remember seeing the water move in circles after the rock hit the water, like this." She drew on the paper a rock hitting the water and circles ebbing out from the center.

~

Nara watched closely then closed her eyes for a moment imagining the first time Echo had taken her fishing learning a new skill. But the fish weren't biting, and in boredom, she threw a rock in the water, causing her sister to shout, telling her she'll scare all the fishes off. But she did remember what it looked like and opened her eyes.

~

"Oh, yes I have Raven," Nara said excitedly.

"That's good. So you see my voice is like those circles, but it's not on the water it's in the air. "Raven flipped the paper and drew waves from one stick person to the other. "Like this. My voice is carried on a radio wave that travels through space with this device." Raven demonstrated the motion by drawing a wave but now in the air and meeting the other stick person. It was as if a light had gone off in Nara's head.

"I think I understand."

"Don't worry if it's a little confusing. It took me a while to understand myself." Raven enjoyed this break and smiled down at the girl. Nara smiled back at her with a little wonder covering her face. It almost made Raven's heart burst. Almost.

"I like you."

Raven took a quick breath and brushed her hand over her short hair. "I like you too kid." Wondering if she could get her to hang out a little longer. No need to wander around a stinking ship. "Would you like to draw Nara?"

With a quick nod, Raven set her up next to her with paper and pencil, and Nara started to draw a picture. Raven watched for a bit then turned her attention to finishing the work on the radios. She smiled as turned away from as the girl hummed a grounder tune.

~

"Nara! Where are you?" A female called in a singsong voice from outside of the room.

Nara looked up, putting the pencil down and jumped down from the stool "It's my sister, Echo. I have to go. Can I come back again?"

"You bet, I'll see you later." Raven watched as she left, casually reaching for Nara's drawing and gazed down. Her mouth fell open in shock by what she drew. Nara's picture depicted a violent scene. Bodies were laying on the ground that was dead and torn apart. It looked like a village was burnt to the ground. "What the actual fuck?"

There was no question; she had to show this to the council. Not sure what this was supposed to mean. That the Ark would be attacked or something else, that had already happened. Raven need to find the Abby and Echo leaving her workshop and went to search for both of them.

~

Raven sat between Marcus and Abby when Nara and her sister arrived at the council room. Jaha chose to stand. His expression showed an angry concern after reviewing the drawing. Abby instructed Raven to take point and gently inquired about the picture Nara drew to confirm this was an actual event or find out if the Ark is in danger.

Raven smiled as the two sisters arrived. "Please, both of you, have a seat." Waiting as they both side by side across from her. "So, Nara, I saw your drawing you made in my workshop today after you left. Is it okay if I ask you about it?"

She looked around the room until her eyes found her sister's and she nudge Nara to answer. "It's okay, Nara."

"Can you tell me what it is you drew?"

Tears formed quickly in Nara's eyes, and she crawled into Echo's lap and began to explain unable to meet their eyes. "It's a Trikru village near the border with ours. I heard the Queen order her men to destroy it a few weeks ago before they captured my sister. I followed them from our home 'cause I was trying to find Echo. I hid in the forest." Shrinking a little in her sister's arms as she continued, "Nobody knew I saw them kill everyone, even my Trikru friends."

Echo spoke up, "This is nothing new for my clan and our Queen. I know of that village, and we use to trade with them. They started to refuse because Queen Nia demanded more from them in exchange for goods of lesser value. Now it looks as though she just took everything they had and destroyed the village."

"How many lived there Echo?" Marcus asked.

"Probably around thirty or forty people, children also."

Nara spoke up again. "It's not the only Trikru village they've destroyed since I following them from our home in the North."

Abby looked toward Jaha. "How many have they destroyed Nara?"

Nara thought and then remembered counting her fingers. "Three," she said.

Jaha gazed over to her sister a bit confused and asked. "Echo, they are not a part of your nation?"

"No, they were all Trikru people."

"Did you know any of them, their names?" Kane asked.

"A few," Echo stated.

"Could you write down their names?" He pushed a blank piece of paper over to her, and she stared down, unable to look them in their eyes.

"I...I can't write," Echo said in a quiet voice.

Raven seeing her distress spoke up, "Hey, no problem, just tell me, and I can write them down for you." Echo looked up just as Nara put her hand into hers and squeezed.

"It's okay Echo," Nara said. "They are our friends now."

"Yes, I can do that for you Raven," Echo said.

~

Raven was back in her workshop working on the radio once more. The time she spent taking notes with Echo, they had compiled the list of names that she could remember. In total, she recalled the leaders of the tribes from two villages and about twenty people she had met at one time or another. It was a sobering reminder about the land they lived on and what was at stake in creating a peaceful truce with the neighboring clans.

"Hey, Mechanic," Bellamy said as he came in her workstation carrying a box of materials. "I have something here I think you can use." He set the box down as Raven moved some of her work aside.

Bellamy reached inside and pulled out a hand-cranked radio, seeing immediately it could supply the radio unit with power. "It's also solar powered. I figured you could use parts for this to power up the radio for Clarke."

"I could kiss you." Raven smiled at him. "This is perfect Bellamy. A few modifications as this will work."

"Hey, just glad I can help."

"Do you know if the radio towers are still hooked up at Mount Weather?"

"Yeah, they are. I checked before I left and the largest one is about five hundred feet. Do you think that is high enough to reach them?"

"From what Harper told me, Lexa's home is a fifty-story building, that's at least five hundred feet tall as well."

Raven got a piece of paper and started to make notes. "Going by what Harper said the journey to Polis from here was around sixty-seventy miles. Mount Weather elevation is probably, what do say around two thousand feet.

"Give or take a few hundred feet, yeah, it's about that high and then when you add the tower another five hundred feet." He said.

"Okay so there is about eight inch of curvature of the earth over a mile, and we got..." She did the calculation quickly on the paper. "I think we got the numbers. The towers should be high enough to carry over the long distance. They'll need an antenna on the other end to pick up our signal and find the right frequency to use."

"Good work Raven. You're a natural at this," Bellamy said.

"I've had a lot of practice. I'm wondering if we can set up a transmitter from Arkadia to Mount Weather and then to Polis. Did you happen to see a microwave relay on one of the towers?

"Not sure what does it look like?"

She quickly drew the different shapes. "Like this."

Bellamy answered, "They have the drum-shaped ones. If I remember correctly, one is on each corner of the tower facing in each direction."

She smiled. "Great, just let me finish with the crank, and we will give it a try in the morning."

"Have you had any dinner yet Raven?"

She looked up sheepishly at him. "No, I just got so busy with this work that I..." He put his hand on her shoulder and then pulled the tools out her hands and placed them on the table.

"Come with me."

~

They finished a small dinner and were back in Raven quarters. Bellamy insisted she rests. He sat at the other end, and had taken her brace off and was currently rubbing her leg and hip.

"You need to take better care of yourself, Raven."

She put her head back on her pillow watching him rub out the soreness in her leg. Even with numbness along the outside of her leg, she sensed it to the top of her hip; it still felt sore, even painful at times. She was curious if she was getting feeling back in her leg. Raven overcompensate her back muscle when she walked and now was paying the price and wondered if she could coax him into a back rub.

"Hey, Bellamy could you...?"

"Say no more. Roll over, and I'll give you a massage."

"Thanks, I needed this." He helped Raven lay on her stomach and started to work on the tight, sore muscle along her back and legs.

Raven rested her head on her pillow and let her mind wandered to their new friends. "So, you like Echo?"

He paused for a moment. "I'm not sure. I do like her, but with everything that we are working on I haven't spent much time thinking about her like that or anyone for that matter."

"So, if you had the time you would?"

"Maybe, I don't know. What about you, do you like Wick?" He said half-jokingly.

"Wick? Hmm sometimes, but the guy does get on my nerves. He tries too hard with me if he would slow down, maybe."

"Maybe what, Raven?" She waited long minutes to respond, and he continued to rub out her legs and back, and when he must have thought she wanted to drop the subject. That wasn't what was on her mind at the moment.

"I'm sorry that I took advantage of you way back when Bellamy."

He paused then said, "Don't be Raven. We weren't working with any rules. Nothing to be sorry for."

"Still, I shouldn't have jumped your bones because Finn hurt me." Raven's eyes filled with tears. Just saying his name hurt. And now with everything that was at stake she was hoping it was going to worth everything that they are trying to do.

"Hey, Raven listen we are all in this together. You're the smartest person I know, people love and admire you."

The statement made Raven release all the pent-up pain she had been feeling for weeks. Bellamy moved over and pulled Raven into a hug and let her cry it out. Rubbing her back and cooing softly into her ear and reassuring her. "It will be alright," he whispered.

She pushed back from him after a while and then fell back on her back. Reaching up to move the dark hair out of his eyes. "You should use your sweet talk on Echo." That made him laugh.

"I should?"

"Yeah, and thanks, Bellamy."

"You got it, Raven." He leaned over and softly kissed her on her cheek. "I'll see you in the morning."

~

Bellamy left her room and headed toward where he thought he would find Wick. He was sitting outside drinking with his friends, and he motioned to him and pulled him aside."

"What's up, Bell?"

"Do you like Raven?"

"What, well yes I guess. Why?"

"I'm asking, do you _really_ like her?"

"Why, did she ask you about me?"

"Be nice to her, and just be yourself, okay?" Bellamy gruffly said as he poked his chest.

"Okay," Bellamy left Wick to ponder this new possibility with Raven.

~

Raven stepped into her shop the next morning and shuffled over to her workbench and sitting in the center was a small metal container filled with a few white flowers that grew at the edge of the fence line. A note rested next to it, and she flipped it open, and it read:

_Raven,_

_Hope you have a great day._

_W._

Raven looked up and around her shop seeing if this was some kind of joke. Then reread the note. She smiled and set it back down and began working on the radios.

~

Wick paced outside of Raven's workstation.

"Are you going to stand out there all day or come in and help me?" Raven said from her spot inside.

Wick did his best to try and stroll inside like he just arrived. "Hey Raven, is there something I can help you with today?" He looked around anywhere but in her direction.

"Well, I could use some electrical wire. How much did you guys pull from Mount Weather?"

He looked in her direction and seemed to forgot her question almost immediately. She lifted an eyebrow, and he replied, "Hmm?"

Raven repeated the question, "The wire, how much did you pull?"

"How much do you need?"

"Enough to wire from outdoor antennae above us to here, do you have that much?"

"Oh sure, we have that much." It came out rushed.

"Take a breath, Wick and thanks for the flowers."

"You're welcome. I don't know what kind you like and these were the only ones I could find..." trailing off. Wick was twitchy and stood up and walked to the back of the room putting space between them. She watched from the corner of her eye as he put his hand on a shelf and fiddle blindly with a box trying to act confident. Then she looked directly in his direction, and his elbow caught the edge of the box, sending it flying with all the parts in it across the floor. "Damn, sorry. I'll get this."

Raven pursed her lips holding in her laughter as he quickly moved to put them all back into the box.

"Keep breathing Wick. I'm not going to bite. Not unless you want me too," she joked. He looked up as he picked up the last part and smiled back at her. "You talked to Bellamy last night?"

"Um, he." It looked like he was about to give up then said, "I honestly don't know how to be around you."

"Well, that a start Wick. Just talk to me like I'm your friend. Will see where we will go from there, deal?"

He stood up and put the box back on the shelf and walked towards her. "Deal Raven. So, the wiring. I'll bring in what we have, okay?"

"Sounds good, Wick," Raven felt a little sorry for him but decided to let him work out kinks of a new budding relationship himself. If he was interested in her, she was curious at what he would come up with.

"So, Wick do you want to have lunch with me today outside?"

He turned. "You want to have lunch with me?

"Why not?"

"Sure. Yes, of course. I'll go get the wire." He smiled as he turned to leave, and nearly ran into a pole but stopped and squared his shoulders and left the room.

Raven shook her head and thought, he's cute but clumsy.

~

"Ugh," Clarke groaned. The sparring lessons with Lexa was harder than she thought and Lexa was relentless in her blows. She knew she was strong, but even so, it did surprise her.

"Clarke, you're dropping sword arm to quickly. I can easily get to you and gut you if I wanted."

And that is why they were still working with the wooden practice blades. The process of learning this art was demanding, and Lexa was an excellent teacher.

"Stand in the ready position. Hold your free arm to your side. A little higher. Right, good. Now proceed."

Clarke moved forward and slashed out catching her blade then turned around and stabbed backward, turning and coming at Lexa's head.

She dodged her blows and grabbed Clarke's arm as she came down with the blade again. Clarke knew she had a habit of leaving herself open after connecting their swords. Lexa bared her teeth and forced her back. Clarke came back at her again, still too loose with her grip, and Lexa pushed Clarke passed her and patted her butt with the flat part of the blade.

"Ow," Clarke growled.

~

"You're getting mad and not focusing. Do you need a break sky girl?" She joked as she breathed out, but Clarke didn't laugh. She came at her again swinging the blade wildly. Lexa again blocked her blows, and when she saw the fire in Clarke's eyes, she knew that her lesson was sinking in.

"Good, Clarke." Lexa could feel the blows were evening out. Clarke's motions were fluid and carefully thought out, despite being a novice with the blade. The muscle memory that Clarke was learning would be a great aid if she were in battle.

"Excellent, Clarke. Time for a break." Lexa held her blade out in a guard position still seeing the fury in Clarke's eyes. Clarke was angry, and she wanted to hit something. Lunge out and strike. She pulled back and closed her eyes and took in deep breaths to calm her heart.

Her eyes came open and saw a smile on Lexa's face. "Whoa, sorry about that."

"Don't be. Your anger could be your weapon. It could keep you focused, Clarke. Just remember to concentrate your efforts, so the energy you expend isn't wasted. Use both hands on your blade if you think it will help."

Lexa poured water into two mugs and handed one over to Clarke and sat down on one of the benches that lined the walls. It was early morning, and the sun poured into the room. Lighting and warming the area. She drank from the mug and sat it by her side and closed her eyes, taking in measured breaths.

~

Clarke followed her lead and leaned her back against the wall. Her muscles ached and twitched from the workout. A few more days and the coalition would meet, and their fate decided. Learning the art of sword combat helped take her mind off of the pending gathering.

"Lexa?"

"Hmm?"

"Do we have a contingency plan, if they reject Skaikru?"

~

Lexa took in a deep breath. That very question was brought up several times among her advisers. Specifically, from Indra. The leader from Tondc admired Clarke and grew to respect Octavia, but her people were concerned about their insistence on taking things from the mountain.

_Can we trust them, Heda?_

It was a question that she had asked herself at first. Everything she was, believed in Clarke. As for Skiakru, she would have to have faith in their tentative truce. Now, it was a matter of calming her people and hoping that peace would prevail.

"I have faith in you Clarke." She left it that. Any more words might make her question her abilities, and she needed Clarke to believe in herself.

~

Clarke opened one eye and looked over to Lexa resting her head against the wall. The chiseled feature of her chin and clean line of her profile and the slow pulse she could see in the vein in her neck.

During some evenings after they had spent the day sparring they wandering the markets of Polis to browse the wares of her people, she became aware of the quiet nature of Lexa.

Even with the people that surrounded her life, she seemed alone and had no family members that she ever spoke about. Hell, she never thought to ask her about her mother or father. Did she even have siblings?

Yes, she had the people of Polis, but what of the people that knew her the best.

Clarke turned to Lexa, reaching out her hand to cover the one resting on her leg. Lexa threaded her fingers with Clarke's without opening her eyes. It had become a natural reflex with them.

Clarke worried at her lower lip and finally spoke, "Do you have any family Lexa?"

~

Lexa blinked her eyes opened. She opened her mouth to speak then closed it. Gently releasing her hand, standing and walked to the center of the room. Her shoulders dropped then she turned to face Clarke.

"Yes, I have a family, Clarke." She turned back and walked to an open window. Gazing out over the new day afraid that Clarke would ask too many questions. She had decided to keep her family away from Polis. Safely guarded by her men, a fact that was unknown to them.

"I'm sorry, does it upset you to talk about them?"

"No. I...I haven't just haven't seen them for a long time."

"Why not? Do they live too far away from Polis?"

Lexa ruefully laughed, "No. No, they don't. They live in a small village just south of here." Smiling and recalling a long ago forgotten memory.

"My mother name is Rosel, and my father is Toran. I have but one sister, her name is Lesta. She was only six when I saw her last." Her eyes pricked with pain as she held her tears from falling.

~

"I would love to meet them." Clarke was sincere in her gentle request, and she hoped that she didn't push her too much. But when Lexa turned, she saw a faint smile on her lips. There was a longing in her voice that spoke of tenderness she felt for her family. "Is it so far that we couldn't visit?"

She saw tears glistening in Lexa's eyes that she quickly wiped away with a quick motion cursing herself at the loss of control. "It's not safe for my family. I haven't seen them to keep them protected from my enemies."

"Surely, they would be safe if they lived in Polis."

"My family tends a farm they can't leave. It has been their way of life for generations."

"How then did you become Heda?"

"When the leader of Trikru died without an heir, it was decided to take the oldest from the first generation of people that built Polis, my family being one of those first people and I was approached by the counsel of Polis and was asked to compete. Anya became my mentor, and she groomed me to fight, and each challenge would be to death after we returned from our soujon. They wanted a leader who was strong and who could learn the customs of Trikru. I studied their laws, and when I had defeated my opponent, I was made Heda."

"Hold old were you?"

"Sixteen, that was almost four seasons ago."

"You were only a child Lexa."

"You learn fast, or you die Clarke. It is our way."

~

_That first night Lexa left her family she had turned fifteen, and this would be the last night she would see them. The council told them to be a leader was to be alone. All of the young initiates were thrown into the wild with only the clothes on their backs and one blade after training a month with their chosen mentor. She was among four who were selected. Sent out to fend for themselves. For months she lived alone in a cave far from her home and Polis. She honed her skills at survival, living on the land and hunting for her meals._

_She fought men twice her size. Some wanted to take what little she had, and some had other ideas of what they wanted to do with this young girl. She left them all bleeding and dying in the dirt. Not one man could lay a hand on her. She learned quickly, how to track prey and kill men._

_Out on her journey was how she met Costia. A young girl, who had left her family one day hunting for food. Lexa followed the girl. Watching from a safe distance, when the girl reached out to pluck fruit from a tree, she lost her balance and fell hard and down into a ravine. It took all her strength to pulled the unconscious girl up with ropes she fastened out of vines and tied off to a sturdy tree and up to safety and then tend to her wounds as best she knew how. To help this young girl she recalled her mother and the things she taught her when she had hurt herself working in their fields. She searched for healing herbs and brought the young girl back to life and felt affection for her._

_After a week, she sent Costia back to her family and didn't see her until she became Heda and brought her to Polis. That decision cost her Costia's her life. Then the words from the counsel echoed again in her head. 'To be a leader means to be alone.' She would protect her family and stay away from them._

_Only two initiates survived, her and one other in the long months in the wild. A boy, no older than herself, she would face in an arena and fight to the death with their chosen weapons._

_And he had almost succeeded in killing her. His fatal flaw was when the crowds yelled out his name and turned to put his blade up in victory._ _She was on her back winded from a blow to her chest. When he had looked away, her hand found her dropped sword and swung it around slicing through his heel, and he came down hard on the ground screaming out in agony, no longer able to stand. She was on him in an instant and pierced his chest, removing her blade and spilling his life away on the ground._

_She was victorious, and all it cost her was everything she was and everyone she knew. She stood as the crowds starting chanting her name. Her body now honed out of dirt, blood, and metal. Her heart, harden into a warrior's body. All who would look on her would obey and call her Heda._

_It was the day she would never forget. The day she could never have a family ever again. Until that day her eyes fell upon Clarke, and everything she thought she knew was cast to the wind. Her heart was claimed by a smile and those blue eyes. The one who remembered her soul. Her Clarke._

~

Lexa relented and looked at Clarke's face. Seeing the honesty and love and it had broken down all of her walls.

"Maybe one day we can. I would like to see my family again too my love."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Raven and Wick pairing is brief.


	22. Chapter 22

Queen Nia stood inside of her quarters looking out over Azgeda's camp now located north of Polis off of the main roads that led into the city.

Nia privately liked the warmth further south, and once this land was hers, she could choose to have her seat of power located in the high tower over Polis and every day, could be as this day. Feeling the sun's rays without the chill in the air.

She turned hearing distinct voices through the trees surrounding her camp. The hunters that were dispatched early this morning to find fresh meat for her warriors returned loud, victorious, exciting the air. Nia inhaled the fresh breeze, sensing this place, their land already. It brought a satisfied smile to her face.

It would be soon enough; this land would be all hers.

Their numbers were just over two hundred armed men and women ready for what seemed like an undeclared war. And each carried numerous markings on their bodies of their kills for all to see they were prepared for any conflict.

The smoky from their fires could clearly be seen from Polis and her enemy, Heda Leska by now, which they did nothing to hide.

Her lips took on a sneer. _Excellent._ Nia wanted Heda to know, Azgeda is coming.

The sounds of grunts and meeting of metal rung out through the camp as two warriors battled in an open area between the tents. Their swords, clanging together, echoing through the forest.

"You're slowing down old man," the young woman taunted as she dodged her opponent’s thrust then shoved him with her shoulder putting him off balance and making him land hard on the ground and in an instant had a blade against his throat and a knee to his chest. He held up his hands, dropping his sword in defeat, making her laugh and holding out a hand to pull him up.

Queen Nia's eyes darted in their direction hearing comment from the woman fighter and watched as they practiced. The young woman was fast and moved fluidly around the larger opponent. She tapped her fingers on the soft surface they rested and contemplated a plan and the need for a new Second.

One of those warriors foolishly tempted with drink that night, allowing the prisoner, Echo to escape. He had been her Second, and now he needed replacing. She required a competent, obedient warrior to do her bidding, someone she could trust and serve her.

Inflicting pain on the others satisfied her more than just carnal sex with her warriors. When the prisoner's blood began to flow, she ached to run her fingers through, but she stilled her hand, clenching into a fist, and dug her nails into to her palms, giving her some relief. After everything that they had done to Echo, the girl still said nothing.

The Queen calm her hand that rested on servant girl's head, kneeling quietly at her feet and felt the slight shift under her hand. It caused her to look down and cupped the girl's chin, pulling her head up to look into dirt smeared face and her brown eyes. The young girl didn't dare look away or blink.

Her eyes held terror of what she could do with her, then the Queen spoke, "Girl, fetch me that woman fighter."

The girl waited to move until her chin was released with a push, and ran to get the young warrior. Approaching the fighters, the girl paused then bowed and motioned to the Queen’s quarters.

The girl stammered, “The...Queen requests your presence.”

~

The woman sheathed her blade, as she followed the servant to the Queen's tent. Watching as the young girl's eyes couldn’t meet hers and seeing her meekness caused rage to build in the warrior.

 _Weak girl should be afraid._ I could slit her throat, and it would be as killing a useless animal.

The warrior ducked into the tent and found the Queen waiting for her, facing away as she stood near her throne. When she turned, the young warrior soon found her place of obedience and knelt at the sheer presence of her Queen.

She waited long minutes for her Queen to speak. The woman tried to keep her muscles relaxed and not shake in fear.

The Queen brought her hands together, placing two fingers together and rested against her lips. Tipping her head to the side as if she was nothing more than something she wanted to trade, grading her worth. The girl knew how small she was, but should not matter. She had a skill with the sword and fast, taking down one of the Queen's men in practice was only one of her talents.

“What’s your name girl?”

She shuddered and kept her head fixed in place at her question. “Ontari kom Azgeda.”

“Stand up and let me look at you.”

Queen Nia’s kept her voice low and even, sending shivers through her body as she gazed up at her. Ontari did as she was instructed and tried to present a confident appearance, jutting her chin out and holding her hands behind her back.

“You know of the men who guarded the traitor, Echo and what became of them?”

“Yes, my Queen.” Fear was quivering inside of her now. The men who had allowed the prisoner escape paid with their lives, but only after hours of torture, even then they outlasted until they were a bloody mess tied to a tree. Their punishment was death by a thousand cuts, although Queen Nia refused to inflict the final blow to end their suffering. They remained only live meat for the forest creatures to consume. It had been gruesome to think of their fate.

Nia returned to her throne resting upon a raised dais. The chair adorned with skulls of humans and animals she had sacrificed. The Queen looked down at her, and for a quiet moment, Ontari held completely still. Nia’s eyes roamed over her body taking in her short stature, the silence between them only broken with sounds from the camp.

Ontari looked back at her, seeing the scars over her face. They lined each of her temples and met in the center of her forehead. It embodied Azgeda, their nation and of that she was very proud. Ontari also carried lighter scars upon her face that bonded to people and her Queen.

~

Nia took the mug of wine from the waiting servant girl and dipped her ring finger into a couple of times, pulling it out and tasting the red liquid.

“Ontari, you are one of my best warriors. I should have sent you to capture Wanheda; you would succeed where others have failed me. Wouldn’t you?”

The Queen found satisfaction knowing that a trick of phrase could inspire a sense of pride among her people and how clever she was with her words, making a warrior succumb to her power. It was something she knew that only a superior could achieve. Ontari stood a little taller at her comments.

“Yes, my Queen.”

Nia feigned sadness, another trick of hers. “I fear the Commander of Death slew them. This Wanheda holds within her an unknown power. More than we were led to believe. But, I also believe she has a weakness. You will find it. I want you to be my Second. Stand with me against Heda Leksa. Will you fight for me when I call upon you?”

“It would be my honor, my Queen.” Ontari bowed again.

“Come here then.” Nia motion to one of her advisors who had stood silently and unseen in the back corner of her tent. He approached the Queen and held in his palm, a gleaming sharp pointed dagger.

~

Ontari did as she was instructed and stood in front of her Queen. Watching as she took a long drink of wine, giving the mug back the servant and took the knife from the waiting advisor. The Queen cupped Ontari's chin running her fingers along the scars she carried then ran the blade along the side of her cheek and then a matching one to the other. Ontari never flinched or showed pain at being cut. She could, however, feel the blood washing over her cheeks and down her neck.

Queen Nia’s eyes fixated on the blood and mess covering her face and wiped a smear of blood away. The Queen's eyes never left hers as it went to her mouth. Ontari trembled, watching the Queen taste her blood and then her fear was replaced with a surge of pride when she smiled.

The Queen had chosen her above all others; the new scars proved her worth. Ontari held her head up and stood a little straighter when the Queen instilled her trust in her.

“You are now my Second. You will obey every command I issue. Your life is forfeit if you fail in my orders. Do you understand Ontari kom Azgeda?”

Ontari lifted her chin then bowed, rising and placing a fist on her chest. “My life is yours, my Queen.”

“Very well, leave us.” Ontari did so as Nia handed the knife back to her advisor.

~

Queen Nia's advisor cleared his throat, “What is your plan with this young girl?”

Nia’s eyes darted sharply at him at his borderline insolence. “To have her kill who I need killing. Why Janus, do you question me?”

“If thirty warriors couldn’t take down one woman, why just send a single girl if she is just going to lose her life?”

She bristled at his statement, and he bowed his head when she began to shout, “Her life is no concern of mind. My only concern is to destroy Heda. It is all I need to succeed in my goals. You know this to be true. There is the connection I feel between Heda Leksa and Wanheda. Taking another girl from Leksa might be all I need to defeat her, to finally break her, and then I will seize Wanheda's power."

Janus was sickened at the resolute look on her face. He had seen this before when the Queen had order Heda's niron Costia kidnapped from Polis. The girl was brought before the Queen, her clothes in tatters and she reeked of fear. She cried the entire time, begging for her life. And after hours of torture and then finally killing her. He thought, taking her life merciful until the Queen removed her head. And days afterward he couldn't get the image or the stains of blood out of his clothing when the Queen tossed her head at him, to send back to Heda. Of all the leaders he had served she was the vilest in her bloodlust.

The Queen came back to herself and continued, "A member from Ouskejon Kru informed me that she’s with Heda in Polis, and she keeps her hidden in her tower, but there still may be a way for someone to get close to Wanheda. This girl may be the solution. She's small enough not to intimate and yet strong enough to capture Wanheda or kill her."

Janus agreed, not wanting to anger the Queen further. If she did have a plan, it wasn't his place to question. He looked out of the tent and watched the young warrior fighting, but kept silent. He knew just how far to take his words with the Queen, and he had said all he could for the moment.

~

The city of Polis was buzzing with activity. They were on the eve of the much an anticipated meeting of the coalition of twelve. The word came down from the watchers of Polis reporting to Heda that two people from Arkadia were inbound with Trikru escorts and horses carrying equipment.

When Harper and Murphy arrived back that evening, they met Clarke waiting at the gates of Polis. She set them up in the room they had shared before and early the next morning found them in a small chamber connected to Lexa's quarters.

Raven completed the retrofit on the radio with a hand crank to keep the battery charge. Clarke helped them attached the antenna just outside the smaller room's window. Pointing westward with her compass as a guide, and in the direction of the relay antennae on Mount Weather. Once it had been fixed outside and hooked the wiring to the radio, they need to test its connection to Arkadia.

Clarke cranked the handle on the radio for a few minutes, powering up the unit and flicked on the switch to verify the connection.

"Here goes nothing," Clarke said crossing her fingers. “Testing, one, two, three. Over.” They all waited near the radio hearing nothing but static.

“Harper, turn the antenna a little more to the right," Murphy said.

“You got it.” She focused it in the general direction. “Try it again.”

“Testing, one, two, three. Over.” Waiting and still, just crackling came over the receiver.

“It was a long shot,” Clarke said, fiddling with the knobs. “I know we are on the right frequency. Maybe Raven is in another room.”

Buzzing noise and then a voice, _Raven the Mechanic here. Over._

"Hey, Raven you did it!" Clarke laughed.

_What did you expect, I am the best._

"This is perfect Raven. I can’t thank you enough.

_Hey, I just build them. The hand crank for powering this puppy up was tricky, but Wick and I figured out a workaround._

"It powered the radio up with no problems, Raven."

_Awesome. Hey, I just saw Abby earlier. I know she was worried about you. Do you have time to speak with her?_

"Yeah, sure, if she’s around.”

_Okay, I’ll send for her and contact you in a bit._

~

Lexa had stood silently just outside the room listening to this interaction, knowing her world was expanding and even though it helped the sky people communicate, it was almost too much to take in. Being able to talk to people over vast distances instantly would be considered magic by her people. However, she realized the benefits outweighed her immediate concerns.

 _Clarke, Clarke. Are you sure this is working,_ _Raven?_ Abby’s voice came clearly through the receiver.

“Mom, it's me. I can hear you.” Clarke’s eyes caught Lexa’s watching her speak into the strange device. Clarke tried to reassure her with a wink and Lexa kept her composure relax and smiled at her.

_Honey. It's you. Thank god. I heard that you had trouble on the way to Polis._

“Yes, we were attacked by the Ice Nation on the way here, but Lexa and her men defeated them.”

_That's a relief, I'm happy you're safe, but we needed to let you know that we have two girls, sisters from the Ice Nation. They beat the older girl for information, and she said they wanted you. Clarke, they are calling you Wanheda, Commander of Death. What does this mean?_

Clarke closed her eyes and Lexa could sense the fear in her mother's voice. “Yes, Lexa told me on the way here. They call me that because I took down the mountain men."

_Why do they want you?_

Clarke hesitated for a beat. “It's hard to explain the Queen's motives, but simply put they want to destroy Lexa's coalition."

_Please tell me that you are safe Clarke._

"I’m okay mom. Lexa meets tomorrow with her coalition, and we are working on a plan, I wish I could tell you more about it. For now, it will have to wait.”

Lexa knew, her plan wasn't a plan. It was more like Clarke was learning how to fight if none of this worked and that, Clarke would have to keep to herself and not worry her mother.

_We sent information to the Commander about the Ice Nation, and their crimes are detailed in messages. I hope that it might help._

“Yes, we got them, but haven’t read them yet. I have to go. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, and I'll let you know what happens after they meet. I don’t want to overtax the radio for now.”

_Okay, be safe and Clarke, I miss you._

“I miss you too, Mom.” The radio went quiet.

“Good job you guys,” Clarke remarked. “Will you head back today or hang out for a while. I’d love to show you, Polis."

“We do have to head back later today, but yeah it would be great to check out the city before we leave. What about you Murphy?” Harper asked.

“Yeah, my butt needs a rest.” Harper punched him in the arm. “Hey, just telling the truth.”

Clarke rolled her eyes. “Okay, guys I’ll show you around. Lexa would like to come with us?”

“No, please go and enjoy what Polis has to offer.” As Lexa watched them leave she went back to her work, scouring over the messages from Skaikru.

~

It was late afternoon when Clarke arrived back at Lexa’s quarters with Star on her heels. She had given Harper a wrapped bundle of goods she got at the market to be taken back to Arkadia as gifts to her friends and Mom. Her friends gave a brief description of the progress that they had achieved and how it was working with Lexa's people. She was sorry to see them go so soon, but everyone had a job to do as she watched them leave from the gates of Polis, happy that they could see that their future was looking hopeful.

They were on the eve of a bright future, what would transpire tomorrow indeed was in her hands.

Clarke found Lexa still going over the messages from the Skaikru’s counsel and working on her map. Each Kru covered a part of the land, with Skaikru as it's potential new member, situated near Mount Weather to the west. Arkadia now symbolized with the design Clarke created. It matched the larger one that would be position behind her when she came before Lexa's coalition. It was quite intricate for such a small flag. But as Clarke had told after she had finished, she wanted to cover all the things she knew her clan could represent. She finally paired it down to just the essentials; her people, sowing the land, to children learning and a hand held out in friendship with the background of the different hues of the sky at sunrise. Dark blues and reds and the edge of the sun just starting to rise over a new day.

When Lexa saw the completed design, she said it felt like everything she had hoped and desired. It was everything that was of Clarke's people.

“Clarke, please sit with me.” Lexa indicated a place next to her. “We have two issues that will need to be addressed when my coalition arrives tomorrow. First, of course, is Skaikru’s joining our alliance. Secondly is of Azgeda, specifically Queen Nia’s crimes. The notes from Skaikru indicate they raided and destroyed many Trikru villages along our border, effectively breaking out treaty and we have witnesses who confirm these crimes.

“What about the attack on our camp, will she be held accountable for that also?”

"Of course, but the pressing issue is the Ice Queen. She is exceeding dangerous and unfit to lead. I see Nia like an injured animal, and they are dangerous when wounded. Queen Nia, no doubt will be working to undermine all we are trying to accomplish. One to take you, to give her power and the other to kill me.”

Clarke moved closer to Lexa and pulled her free hand of her papers and into hers, rubbing the outside.

“Do you think I am ready to fight?”

“You have learned quickly. I have confidence in your skills, Clarke.”

~

Clarke had her doubts about her abilities, but if it became necessary, she would have no choice. Worry crept into her mind, creating a gnawing dread. Maybe, there could be a way to avoid a confrontation and make peace.

“Is it possible to reason with Queen Nia?”

~

Clarke's question surprised Lexa, and she pressed her lips together and removed her hand from Clarke's. She stood and walked to the middle of the room, turning to watch Clarke and seeing the questioning look in her eyes.

“When I was just an initiate, the counsel lectured us of our ways. How the history of our people was handed down from elder to child. They spoke of laws and taught as the Commander we met out our justice with _jus drein, jus daun_. It had sustained the living when life is lost by malice, and a death needs to be avenged with our law. But still many lives were wasted through our petty differences and wars. It was easier to fight, for you see the blood revenge was inevitable for my people."

Lexa lifted her head taking a breath and remembered her family. "One thing that I learned from my father and mother was a core belief of who we are, who we should be. That we are the caretakers and the guardians to protect the survival of our people. But when I became Heda, I set all of that aside; what I learned as a child. When I took the mantle of a leader, my duties were to meet our justice according to our laws. You've reminded me of what I learned from my family when I first met you. It took time, but now I see that we could find another way. Blood must not have blood. When your people came down into Trikru land, you couldn't have known our ways. It's not our side is always right, and yours is wrong, you taught me that. I almost forgot those lesson I learn so long ago."

She took in another deep breath and walked towards the balcony and looked over the land. Clarke went with her to gaze over Polis. The city was slowly becoming lit up by campfires as the night was coming down over the capital.

Lexa turned to Clarke and continued, “There are two choices, Clarke. I feel will are standing at the edge of our existence. The beginning or the end of all of us.” Lexa put her hand out and motioned to her land and her people. “If we succeed, we have this opportunity to help our world survive and grow. I know that you have a kind heart Clarke, of that I am grateful. Because of your forgiveness of my failures at the mountain and to seek a peaceful resolution to these pressing problems." Lexa turned to Clarke and held her gaze. "But, know this, Queen Nia has shown us who she is, by her deeds and actions. Of this person, this Queen is this what you want Clarke. To give her a chance?”

Clarke looked out over Polis as Lexa waited for her reply and looked back at Lexa.

“After all, she has done and taken from you?"

Lexa watched as Clarke put together the conclusion of what she was trying to impart to her. Sometimes the answer isn't clear cut and dry answer, like with Skaikru. They couldn't have known what they were landing into when they arrived. Queen Nia, on the other hand, knew what she was doing.

~

Clarke shook her head. Why she even thought that a person like this Queen would deserve a chance when she has done nothing to earn it.

"You are right Lexa, No, not this time. It’s not a chance I would want to give to her. Blood must have blood. But what of Nia’s people?”

Lexa closed her eyes in relief. “They need a new leader. The Queen is exceedingly unfit to lead.”

“So, Roan is the solution?”

“Perhaps, Clarke. I see in him, not the bitterness that has decayed Nia’s mind. He can be reasoned with.”

They held their each other's gaze for a moment longer and then turned again to look again over the city. Clarke placed her hand in Lexa’s and laced them together. It had been a long, productive day, and she was getting hungry. Tomorrow was just hours away, and much was at stake.

~

_Clarke wrapped herself in a warm furry blanket as she became aware her nakedness beneath, walking along dirt and debris covered street. She pulled the cover tighter around wandering lost through a rundown city and in this unknown place she passed strangers along the way. It seemed like her old home on the Ark. But that couldn't be. She was on Earth, and this must be Polis. Clarke didn't know how long she wandered, but as time passed the blanket grew heavier, drawing her down to the ground and into sleep._

An exhale of warm breath caressed the nape of her neck woke Clarke out of her dream. The warm body next to her nestled closer to her back. One arm draped over her waist as well as a leg. Each breath of air from Lexa’s lips sent a corresponding tingle through Clarke’s body.

Clarke vaguely remembered her dream and weight of her blanket now recognizing that it Lexa she was feeling. Chuckling of thought of carrying Lexa around everywhere she went. Her Commander blanket. That would go over well with Lexa's coalition.

After having their evening meal, they tucked into bed and both fallen asleep when their heads hit the pillows. So unlike the previous nights, they slept together. Well, not sleep, Clarke smiled remembering as they explored their bodies intimately over hours. Laying exhausted and happy.

Last night was the exception.

Clarke was hesitant to move and wake her deeply asleep partner, but as always while trying to stay completely still and enjoying the closeness, she became aware of a slight itch at the back of her left knee. Blinking her eyes, as if that would correct the problem. It didn't. She tried to move a bit forward and reach down with her hand. Clarke stopped now feeling a bit of her hair tickling her forehead, and it seems to be working its way down to one of her eyes to torture her further. _Son of a_... there was no way to take care of this little annoyance without dislodging Lexa from her grip and possibly waking her.

She mentally rolled her eyes, thinking this is ridiculous. Lexa wouldn’t mind, maybe not even noticed if she shifted in bed. She imagined ways she could take care of irritations when she got tickled with the idea.

A deep jerk in her stomach at holding in a bout of laughter was aching to spill out of her. She felt Lexa’s grasp grow tighter around her and burrowed deeper. A possessive grip was pulling her closer to her side, and now her nose was touching her neck. Now every moist exhale woke the space between her legs. Welcoming as that felt, it would do her little good if it sat there unsated.

Lexa’s hand eased over her side until it found its home cupping her breast. The feeling was sensual as it always was with her warrior and wondered if Lexa was aware of what she was doing, but Clarke didn’t want to move. The downside of that, the inside of Clarke’s thighs became impatient for a more intimate touch. Maybe if she just imagined her hands touching her, pushing inside her, it was possible to find some relief. Clarke let her mind wander, but was having little luck.

Clarke remembered Lexa's words bringing her to orgasm. Touching her intimately and filling the emptiness inside her. Although she would love to have continued relishing those memories, it made her current predicament worst. Now, not only was her body awake, there was nothing she could do about it unless she wakes Lexa.

The laughter she wanted to let out along with the body twitches that bothered her before, got replaced with a throb between her legs. She didn’t know what motivated her to do what she did next when she covered Lexa’s hand and dragged it down against her mound. Resting for a moment then pushed her hand between her legs and held it tight against her body.

She made an almost imperceptible movement of her hips when she felt a tiny movement of those long fingers in sleep. They seem to become aware of the warm, wet softness between Clarke's legs. A lick and sweet nuzzle against her neck, and then a soft kiss sent another tingle down her back. She heard a breathy moan against her hair as Lexa’s hand began to move against her.

Parting her and pulling the wetness that had gathered there. Lexa ran her fingers up to her clit and then down to her opening and slipping inside to the first knuckle. Clarke waited for her to continued moving, but the finger remained motionless. Unable to control her body's reaction, Clarke arched her back into Lexa’s chest. A deep hum from Lexa caught her ears, and her finger pushed further inside. Relief, now and Clarke could finally move, and shifted her hips back into the cradle of Lexa’s body.

“Niron,” A new word escaped Lexa's lips; it sent another shiver down her body. She said it with such devotion that Clarke ached to wake her fully.

Before the thought could fully coalesce, Clarke's body turned, and Lexa found her place on top and began kissing, touching and running her tongue over her lips and dipping inside. To hold her, to possess her. Clarke melted into her grip, and the relief poured through her body as she pressed against her. Lexa pulled her legs apart and laid between them and started a slow rock.

She wasn’t sure if Lexa’s was awake, what little light that filtered through the window and low candle that still burned near their bed and she could see her eyes still closed. As pleasant having Lexa take her, she wanted her fully conscious of what she was doing, less it would be taking advantage of her sleeping partner.

“Lexa, are you awake?” Whispering as not to stir the air.

“Sha,” Lexa responded. Then she arched up and hovered over Clarke, and now she could see both bright eyes gleaming down at her. She bent her head down and lightly ran her lips over her mouth and down her neck. Licking a line to her pulse point and biting down on her but never breaking her skin.

Clarke’s body reacted with a jolt at the sharp bite and knew what it meant, a lover’s kiss sealing a deeper connection to their bodies. The times that they had made love after reconnecting had pushed Clarke’s defensives away, and she already gave everything she was to Lexa, but this felt different. This possessive marking was more intense than the time before they had made love.

She felt Lexa’s love more profound than the first time they kiss, the first time her fingers and tongue had moved inside of her, claiming her. Lexa’s mouth and left marks on her body after hours of exploration, but she was beginning to understand that there was level deeper in their connection that she hadn’t seen before. Now she bit down a little harder, and her Clarke’s body reacted, and she began to push Lexa down, needing her to take her. Own her. She belongs to Lexa and no other. Tomorrow was brushed away, her request at bringing her people into the coalition, a distant memory. Now she only wanted to be connected to Lexa, to hell with tomorrow would bring.

“Take me,” She whispered and saw the corresponding want in Lexa’s eyes.

Lexa moved her leg between them and nudged Clarke’s legs further apart. As she adjusted herself fully onto of her, Clarke's scent carried up to both of them as she breathed in deep. Lexa moaned and for a moment thought she would move down her body. Instead, Lexa took Clarke's hand and pushed down to her center. She groaned feeling the wetness gathering between her legs and Lexa matched her touch when she settled her hand just outside of Clarke's opening.

Lexa hovered over her, whispering, “Ogeda.”

Yes, _Together._ Lexa's use of her language signal to Clarke at how tired she was, and that she would continue spoke of how much she loved her. Clarke watched her face as both their fingers waited just outside of their openings. And as Lexa started to move closer to her desire, Clarke followed her movements gasping when Lexa’s slick began dripping over her fingers.

They matched the caresses along their wet swollen lips, watching the subtle shifts in each other faces as the ache to be filled grew between them. Their minds and bodies were in sync, and when Lexa moved down to captured her lips again and glided her tongue inside, they sank their fingers inside of one another.

Lexa moaned against her mouth and rocked her body against her hand as Clarke held on and pushed deeper inside of her. She felt her silky walls squeeze tight against her and she pull out to add another finger. Clarke felt the corresponding stretch as Lexa filled her with another finger and pushed deeper.

Clarke was panting as Lexa rested her forehead against Clarke’s shoulder and could feel the pressure building as each deep push inside and the sounds of their fingers made inside of one another, echoed against the walls of their room.

She sensed the shift in Lexa’s body, the wet tightness around her fingers, the rolling of her hips as she matched Clarke's thrust. When she couldn't take the pressure building anymore, Clarke brought her thumb up and lightly graze the pulsing tip that pushed out of its hood. Lexa cried out and curved her body into her hand; her clit had swollen twice its size. Clarke ached to take it in her mouth and caress it with her tongue and bring her to orgasm when Lexa matched her touch and brushed her thumb against Clarke's throbbing clit. An explosion of heat rush through her and their movements came faster.

Lexa moaned, _“Miya, yumi ogeda.”_ Clarke arched her back into her release. Lexa held on and watching her face and then fell over against her bucking her hips and pressing her hand firmly against her as she cried out her name, releasing a heavy spill across Clarke's hand and belly.

Lexa fell face first against her breast with a groan and breathed heavily on her. She eases out of Clarke's sex and brought her hand to her mouth, and sucked on the glistening fingers.

Clarke watched and ached to taste Lexa but, not from her hand and pushed her over on her back, nuzzling her neck and bit down as Lexa had done earlier and heard a hum from her warrior. A pulse of warmth seeped out of Clarke and now more than ever she needed to feel her, needed to have the pulsing clit firmly between her lips as she sucked her deep into her mouth.

Lexa didn't say a word, but wrapped her hand around her neck and pulled her down to her lips and sunk her tongue into Clarke's mouth. It was a slow, languid kiss, all wet and hot and possibly the sweetest sexiest kiss she had ever had.

When Clarke pulled back, her face was flush, and a soft sheen of sweat covering her face. She waited and watched Lexa's eyes.

"Please, I need to taste you."

Clarke wasn't ashamed that she sound so needy. It was an aching and longing need inside of her. To feel and taste the erotic essence that existed inside of Lexa. When Lexa moved her legs apart in an invitation, a lazy smiled greeted Clarke's eagerness she started a slow path down her body. Kissing a trail down her body until she was on her mound. Clarke spread her legs further apart. She was pink and swollen, and she ducked her head down kissed the wetness clinging to the soft curls and found her pulsing swollen clit, running her tongue up and over and immediately sucked it into her mouth. Her clit jump in her mouth and Lexa hips pushed forward.

This is what she wanted, what she needed. To feel Lexa in her mouth and she hummed against her clit, and a rolled her tongue over and around flicking over her. Clarke concentrated on bringing Lexa to orgasm, moving her tongue quickly over her clit, as a Lexa's hand held her in place as her body went rigid and arched against her mouth and her breaths came out in a slow grateful moan.

Clarke sighed contently and laid against her mound ready to falling to sleep until a hand reached down and pulled her up, and as they settle into their coming slumber, _"Ai hod yui in."_ Lexa's whispered before she fell back to sleep.

Clarke laid awake for a while. Rubbing her hand along Lexa's side as she leaned against her once more. Tomorrow was only hours away. She hoped, somehow, they could create together a lasting peace.

Clarke would lay awake most of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is pretty long and as all of these chapters they need to be reworked. And as you know I'm also working on Green Flannel. I'm hoping the wait for chapter 23 will not be too long for you guys. Thanks for understanding.


	23. Chapter 23

The Great Hall was a lonely and quiet place. The only movement would be from the morning light that began to trickle in from the rising sun. Its rays scattered across the floor, slowly making its way up the walls as the room welcomed the new day.

The ancient, threadbare curtains quivered as sounds from the creaking doors reverberated across the hall when they opened. A flurry of young people appeared and lit the many candles along the walls and standing sconces that circled the room. While they continued arranging chairs and sweeping the floors of debris gathered in the corners. A woman, the Hedakepa, waited at the entrance and proceeded to instruct the workers as she turned and paced the room. As they finished, with a final look around, she clapped her hands together and ushered them out, closing the doors behind them, leaving this place alone again, except for the dust motes stirred by their swift movements. Gracefully dancing in the air, charged with their energy.

~

"Hold still," Clarke growled to the impatiently fidgeting wolf.

Clarke sat on her knees with a feisty cub in front of her trying to soak her down with the used water from Lexa's bath. She knew Star liked water, and it wasn't hard to get her jump in the tub, but she did seem stunned at its warmth.

As she began to bath the stinky cub, it became necessary for Clarke joined her when it became apparent she couldn't reach every spot because of the tub's size when the squirming wolf made the task more difficult than it had to be.

She kept jumping away when she tried to pour water over her head and when Clarke finally caught her, she scrubbed her paws, face and every inch of her. All the wolf wanted to do is play and bat at the soap bubbles that surrounded her legs and splash the water over Clarke's naked body.

Lexa mildly complained about her odor in passing and Clarke noticing the smell as well. It hadn't been apparent while they had been traveling, probably because they both probably reeked and they canceled out each other's odor. So, here she was, bathing a growing wolf cub trying not the let her shake too much and clean the rest of the grime from her fur.

"Can you hand me a towel, Lexa?"

Lexa reached beside her and tossed the towel she used earlier to Clarke. "Catch."

~

Lexa watched as she got ready, amused at the cub's antics. She was growing fast and nearly six months old and much older than Clarke had initially suggested. Her paws were huge, and by Clarke's guess, weighed around thirty-five pounds. The ample food she ate helped her fill out. Keeping her content and more straightforward to train. Lexa gave Clarke a book with information on wild animals, and it included a small chapter on wolves. A few pictures showed the growth charts, and it made it easier to estimate Star's development.

It grew evident over the time together that Star had bonded with Clarke in the way she watched her every move. When a stranger approached Clarke, Star was immediately by her side and sat next to her as a warning to whoever came near. Lexa understood the hierarchy and believed that Star saw Clarke as the alpha in her pack and by chance and exposure, allowed Lexa to interact with her. Star remained calmed and affectionate with her.

The water drained from the tub while Clarke dried the shaking cub as best she could then announced, "All done."

Star jumped from the tub and ran from the room, shaking and rubbing herself along the ground. It's was as though the water had energized her bones and muscles and she could help but run around like a maniac. "Oh, my," Clarke stated watching her run around the room. "I didn't know that would have that effect over her."

Lexa paid attention as she watched through the mirror as she finished preparing herself for the day's activities. She wore her traditional clothing of Heda. A long sleeved dark top, multiple belts fitted around her waist, dark pants, and black boots. At her shoulders a deep green cape that almost touched the floor. Her hair, now fixed in braids down her back. Lexa finished applying dark makeup around her eyes, not the war paint she had worn the first time they had met. Still, she liked the fierce look. The last touch was her the Helm of Awe she placed to the center of eyes.

Stepping out of the bathroom, Lexa watched for a moment amused by Star's playful antics. Now with the towel in her mouth, parading around the room. "We need to get you prepared Clarke. My staff will be here soon and help you get ready for today's proceedings."

~

Clarke should have been ready for this moment but the thought of this day finally here, weighted heavily on her. Unsure of what would happen and how she, Wanheda would be viewed by Lexa's coalition and would they accept her. She took a long look at Lexa and then at the ground.

"You'll do fine. We've prepared for this. Always remember, as I am the Kongeda's leader. I can guide my coalition to the path. I hope by meeting you, they could see a possible future down the road you could lead. I have faith in your abilities."

"It's not that Lexa," Clarke replied as she shook her head. Going to her side and taking Lexa's hand in hers and poured out her concern, "I'm afraid of what we don't know. Is there something going on behind the scenes, some treachery that we haven't taken into consideration?"

Lexa cupped her cheek and pulled Clarke to her into her arms. Holding for a quiet moment and petting her hair along her still nude back. "You have to remember how brave you are; of that, I am most certain. Have faith in yourself, Clarke."

Clarke sighed. She enjoyed their closeness, but it was a gut feeling she couldn't explain without sounding foolish. The people who attack them on the road paid with their lives, but the leader who ordered them, is here now, in Polis. The threat hasn't gone away. She's in their home.

A quiet knock at the door. Lexa moved away and tossed a robe to Clarke and called for them to enter. The room immediately began to fill with young women carrying fresh buckets of hot water.

Mera, a woman who kept things orderly in Lexa's household, organized the girls, and soon everyone was bustling about their jobs, with Clarke being hauled away into the bathroom by three young women assisting her into the tub, washing her hair and body.

Clarke squeaked at the intimate touches and put her foot down when one girl got too close to her privates.

"Wait a minute! I can take care of that gals." Clarke realized what Star went through and felt like baring her teeth at them.

They ducked their heads and turned their backs, as Clarke washed the rest of her body. They waited with their hand's clasp behind their backs until still stepped out of the tub. Then quickly starting to dry her body and combing out her hair.

"Hold on a darn moment will ya." Clarke grabbed a towel from one of them and yelled out for help, "Lexa!"

The women quickly left the room with the sudden appearance of Heda, and she closed the door and moving swiftly to her side and assisted drying Clarke.

Clarke pulled the towel from Lexa's hands. "It's not that I don't mind help, but you could have warned me."

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize this would bother you. My assistants can help you with your hair and clothes. It's part of the ritual, Clarke."

Clarke put her hands on her hips as if to scold, "Why didn't they help you?"

"I've been dressing for myself since I learned the formalities." Lexa's voice was contrite but laced with a bit of humor.

Clarke sighed and looked away. Beginning to realize, the nervousness she was feeling wasn't because of the girls. "Of course, yes your right. I don't know what I'm doing. I just assumed I would get dressed by myself."

Now it made sense. When days ago Lexa's garment makers had asked to take measurements of Clarke's body and thought it might just be for a new coat, maybe some pants. She didn't know that it was because of what she represents. A possible new member of Lexa's coalition, and that required formality. She was more than just an evading sky person in their eyes.

"In any other circumstance, I would agree. But, you are Wanheda, Commander of Death and you have to look the part, am I wrong?"

"I'm not going to fool anyone if I don't believe that part!" Clarke couldn't hide the panic in her voice.

Lexa winced at her reaction, and Clarke saw she immediately wanted to take back that word. "That's not what I meant. It's not a part your playing Clarke. You took the mountain. No one...no one could do that before you. Can't you see that you are that strong and clever?" Without giving Clarke time to respond Lexa continued, "I see in you a kind heart, but what I also know of you is your determination and fire. Your heart is true, and you are a leader. You are Wanheda!" Lexa was almost shouting at the end of her speech.

As if saying her name had carried on the air, sounding out to all that could hear, through the window, horns began to blare out, lifting in the air and high enough they both heard it clearly, as they stared one another down.

In the other room, Clarke could hear Star howling, sending chills down her body. Clarke looked at the closed door, and then back at Lexa. She blinked her eyes at that meaning of that coincidence.

"It is time, Clarke."

Lexa held Clarke's hands and pressed kisses to the palms as she closed her eyes. Clarke melted under her attention as Lexa pulled her into a hug and then released her, stepped back.

"I have to leave you now, but I want to give you this."

Lexa pulled out a knife and held it with two hands and gave it to Clarke. It was the one she was playing with the first time she laid eyes on her. That knife her long fingers caress as she eyed Clarke and looked at her with angry dark eyes those many months ago.

"I can't, Lexa. Not your knife."

"I insist." Lexa removed the sheath she wore to secure the blade to her hips and slid the knife safely inside. It made a satisfying sound as it neatly fit neatly in place. "You will have a few more hours here. I will be in deep discussion with other matters among the clan leaders, and then the Skaikru's discussion will begin. Once that is over, I will call to have you presented before my coalition."

Lexa moved back from Clarke and opened the door. Taking one look back she smiled, It held in it all of the promises that they had been working towards these last few months.

"Lexa."

Lexa stopped and watched as a very nude Clarke pulled her shoulders back, and with conviction, she said, "I am, Wanheda, Commander of Death."

Lexa slowly dipped her head with a smile and shut the door behind her.

~

Lexa lifted her chin as she slipped on the mantle of Heda and stepped in the hallway outside the Great Hall and was immediately flanked by ten members of her elite guard. The doors opened at the approaching party, and a hush fell over the room. All eyes watched as she moved into the assembly and stepped onto the dais and turned around as her long cloak swept around her with the motion, glancing at the watchers and as she sat on her throne.

Lexa's eyes fell on the empty seat of Azgeda's ruler. Queen Nia wasn't present, beside her chair her adviser Janus stood and directed a hard glare in his direction.

"Does the Queen have other commitments that are more important than the meeting of our Kongeda?"

Janus bowed his head but had the nerve to respond in a condescending voice, "Heda Leksa, Queen Nia waits for no one."

Lexa bristled at his statement. "Look at me, Janus."

"Heda?"

~

When her eyes met him, he felt shame wash over him. Not more than two years ago he had returned the head of the Commander's niron to her in secret. The weight of it tore through him as if her eyes could see his guilt, and find his regret. Why she didn't hunt him down and have him killed outright was a mystery.

~

"Leave and return with you insolent Queen. We will wait."

Janus's face went pale with fear at the sound of her voice, nodding and hurriedly left the room. With the wave of her hand, the assembled group took their seats.

Lexa appreciated that the Queen was going to draw this battle out for as long as she could. She knew that currently, the members of her coalition were wavering. Some had questioned her weakness at the mountain, and now the hope for lasting peace rested partly in Clarke's hands.

Janus returned with Queen. Her late arrival was from what Lexa could gather her way of stepping on the toes of Heda. A silly game, easily seen through. The Queen carried a self-confidence which belied Lexa's position. At her side, a young woman warrior, who took her place on Queen's right hand. It was a clear understanding of her status. She would be her champion, her Second.

 _Interesting_ Lexa thought. Why is her previous Second, a man who stood much taller not here?

"Heda Leksa," Queen Nia addressed the silent room, only nodding briefly in her direction and took her chair. The warrior at the Queen's side gazed at Lexa in an air of contempt. Lexa could barely contain her anger as her eyes bore into the Queen's second.

Soon all would be laid bare. Lexa late meetings with Roan revealed the truth of the tale brought to her by Skaikru. A plot in the dark, now exposed. Heda Leksa would wait until the appropriate time to share what she had learned, with her coalition. Then they could determine her fate if Roan could find it in his heart to betray his flesh and blood. He had yet to decide. With her words alone it would not be enough to sway her Kongeda.

~

The time ticked slower after Lexa left and Clarke picked at her small meal, now in bits on the plate resting on the table before her. The anxious feelings in her stomach put a damper on her hunger.

She wore only a robe as the young women styled her hair. After completed she found it stunning; having a few braids along on her face that came together in the back, apparently to keep hair out of her face, only ceremonial, as if she were in battle. The remaining hair, curled and hung down her back. Surely her hair hadn't grown that long, but they had managed to give it that appearance.

Her makeup was striking and quite different from the blacks that Heda wore. The colors around her eyes actually glittered. She could have sworn the way they had applied the colors; she was wearing a mask. The hues were of silver, light and dark blues, fanning out to sharp points on either side of her eyes, with just a light dusting of indigo above her cheeks.

Clarke pulled Lexa's knife out and held onto the hilt, loving the feel of its weight and appearance, and brought the blade up to see her bright blue eyes reflected in its shine. Lost in thought as she gazed at herself, she jumped when there was a knock at the door, and it opened, filling up the room with the same women from this morning, this time they were carrying her new outfit.

Clarke's mouth went open in shock.

~

"Silence!" Lexa's voice reverberated in the room, and all eyes went in her direction. Queen Nia sat back in her chair, folding her hands together and didn't bother to hide the smirk on her face. Lexa glared in her direction. Heda's face carried a look, that spoke of want to remove Nia's head from her shoulders.

"Admit it, Lexa, you failed. We all see this now." Nia thought her plans seemed to be falling into place. Maybe she didn't need Wanheda after all. Some members of Lexa's coalition agreed with her statement with support as they nodded their heads, agreeing with Lexa's failure at the mountain.

The discussions were side-tracked with Nia's constant interruptions. All part of the plan, as she delighted in the possibility that the Heda Leksa's reign was falling apart.

Lexa motioned to Glenus to approach, leaning in as she whispered something too low for anyone to hear. He bowed his head and left the room.

~

Clarke waited on the balcony peering out over Polis, her arms crossed over her chest. Her new attire fit quite well. She felt different, now with an air of determination and confidence with each piece of garment they put on her body. Moments after dressing, because she had waited to look. She turned around and gazed at herself in Lexa's mirror. Now she looked the part of Wanheda, Commander of Death.

And now standing before Polis, Clarke hoped that she would find the courage in front of Lexa's coalition, the Kongeda, to speak. It would be required to make a humble plea in front of Heda as Skaikru's representative in this matter.

For the rest, for Queen Nia, she didn't have a clue what Lexa had planned, but Glenus said to be vigilant after she was informed of Queen Nia's stunt this morning.

"Wanheda, it is time," Glenus voice broke her out of her thoughts.

She took one last look over Polis and returned to the room. Glenus faltered when he bowed seeing her for the first time, as true a warrior. She smiled back at him and guided her from the room. They took the stairs that would lead to the floor above and then stepped into the hallway that held the Great Hall with a freshly groomed Star by her side. Her coat gleamed. Clarke had spent some time brushing her out after she thoroughly dried her fur and now she showed blue-black in the sunlight.

The men and women from the journey from Arkadia were chosen to accompany her and lined the hall on either side. Bowing as she approached them. The quiet murmuring of multiple _Wanhedas_ caught her ears as Octavia and Lincoln came up to flank each side of her.

Octavia gave her a once-over and shook her head and nudged Clarke. "Damn, girl. You look, wow, you look fantastic. You too Star." The cub looked up at Octavia and gave her lick on her hand when she brushed her fingers over her head.

Clarke smiled with a blushed and looked to Lincoln who nodded in agreement. He held in his hands a long pole with the banner that represented Arkadia fixed to the top.

"Ready?"

"I'm ready." With a nod, they started the short walk to the Great Hall. Clarke noticed Octavia carried a large bag over her shoulder, filled with some unknown things and lifted her chin in its direction, and Octavia answered, "Oh, It's just a gift for your friend to the north." Then Octavia places two fingers over her mouth as to keep their voices down and Clarke didn't give it another thought.

Clarke's hand rested on the hilt of the sword on her side with Lexa's knife tucked in the sheath on her other hip. Just touching it with the edge of her arm, made her feel a little better and helped tamp down the butterflies in her stomach, now she knew why Lexa had given it to her. She took in another deep calming breath when they arrived. She stood, waiting for a short moment when the guards bowed and opened the doors.

The room went silent.

It was so quiet the only sound Clarke could hear was the heart beating in her chest. Her eyes focused on the far side of the room and at Lexa's face. She looked tired and beat down until she glanced in her direction and her expression changed in a flash. Lexa stood then nodded once at Clarke and stepped into the room.

All eyes were on her, taking in her appearance. The head seamstress along with ironworkers designed a suit of leather and polished metal. Her breast and lower abdomen were covered in plates of pounded out thin metal, curving over her chest and giving her the appearance of some impressive abs. Her shoulders had matching pauldrons fanning out over them, alternating with metal and leather. When she first tried it on and moved her arms, they gave way, and the movement was fluid.

Pitch black leather pants slung low on her hips and along with boots that came up to her knees. Her long sleeve top, made of a lighter material matching the black of the pants, and at her wrists, glimmering metal armbands that spanned her arms at least six inches. Behind her, a long cape made out of a dark blue material attached at her shoulders and flowed behind her as she took a step into the hall.

Clarke kept her hand on the hilt of her sword, and as she passed the waiting people when Octavia placed a hand on her free arm stopping her motion. She whispered into her ear, causing Clarke to look up sharply at the woman staring back at her. Clarke squared her jaw and motioned to Octavia to present her with the gift to Queen Nia.

~

Nia smiled first at Clarke and then toward Lexa as she leaned forward in her chair. Impressed with this young woman, who was about to present her with a gift. A thought crossed her mind that this would be a bloodless coup after all.

~

Clarke stood taller and turned to look her sharply in her face. Octavia stepped in front of Clarke and as the assembled watched she turned over the bag in front of Queen Nia. Out spilled the scalps of the warriors slain in the battle on the road to Polis, along with the symbols of the Ice Nation, covered in stinking blood and hair.

Nia took a sharp breath and slammed herself back into her chair. Her Second made a move towards Clarke, but the Queen grabbed her arm and stopped her motion. Star stepped in front of Clarke and bared her teeth and growled a warning.

"I believe these belong to you," Clarke said unrehearsed. Her voice carried over the room and echoed against the walls.

~

 _Perfect_ , Lexa said under her breath, yet keep her face unchanged. Clarke turned from Queen Nia and walked to stand in front of her.  
  
They held each other's gazes almost seconds too long when Lexa asked, "What say you, Wanheda?"

Clarke knelt down on one knee and bowed her head and then looked up into her eyes. Sincerity crossed Clarke's face that almost took Lexa's breath away.

"Heda Leksa, Commander of the Twelve Clans, Leksa kom Trikru, The Last True Commander. I come before you with Skaikru's plea:

Our path was not easy, as you see, we came from the sky. Our home was dying, and we left not knowing we would survive the fall. By divine mercy, our goal to live made us strangers, in a strange land, and we had much to learn. Many of our people died, not knowing your ways. We struggled to persevere in the beauty of your lands, and your people did not always welcome us, because of our trespasses.

But, we had a common enemy. The men of the mountain took many brave warriors from all of the clans assemble here today, as well many of my people for their pleasure and design. I had a duty to bring freedom for my people and slay the aggressors; the mountain's people who took so much from all of us.

In your name, Heda Leksa and to bring lasting peace to our people, I kneel before you and ask to continue with you, your legacy together in harmony."

Lexa's mouth parted as she took in Clarke's words and was overwhelmed. If she didn't know Clarke personally, she would have accepted them on this speech alone. She had no idea the Clarke had written one or what she was going to say. That only made this request much more genuine.

The room stayed quiet for a moment to let Clarke's words sink in. Her heart was hoping yet, a lone set of hands began clapping, and Lexa's eyes shot up to see Queen Nia mocking Clarke's plea.

"Do you have anything else to say Wanheda?" Lexa spoke again.

~

Clarke didn't, but with Nia's taunting, the hair on the nape of her neck stood on end and said, "I do."

She turned and moved in front of Queen Nia. Her hand still on the hilt of her sword squeezing it to find her courage.

"Queen Nia. I have seen your kind before. You mock, but you have offered nothing. You kill and take what isn't yours to take. You want to control the lands of people that are not yours to own. You are no better than the men of the mountain."

Looking down at the remains of Nia's warriors Clarke's confidence grew in her words as they increased in volume. "You send men and women in the night to capture me and overturn the coalition that so many here fought to obtain. You killed the loved one of the Commander, yet she let you join in her coalition, even after that and you still not satisfied. Selfishness and greed cover your heart. It is a misguided thing to do when you lead a great people."

The Queen rose as she shouted, "Your words are trickery! You're nothing but a cunning bedwarmer for Heda. Besides you have no rights here little girl."

Clarke clinched her teeth and directed a hard stare at her, then soften her face. She wasn't going to take the bait. "Not yet. But if we are accepted, we can offer knowledge, exchanged goods and move towards peace between all of our people; you have only offered pain and suffering."

~

Lexa motioned with her hand, and next to the wall to her right. Hidden within the darkness, a man stepped out, his body still obscured. But as he moved into the light, he looked up and into the face of his mother, the Queen.

"Roan!"

"Mother."

He moved to stand in front of Lexa and bowed his head.

Lexa addressed him, "Prince Roan, Wanheda spoke of the crimes of the Queen. Is this true?"

He waited for a beat as if to find the courage. His eyes bored into hers, and Lexa could not predict what he would say. A moment later his face softened then nodded his head.

"I am a witness to her crimes, Heda Leksa. I saw the warriors of Azgeda attack your camp. I know of the slaughter of the Trikru villages that line our border. They were not in battle with us. The Queen sent her men to capture Wanheda under your watch and ordered the deaths of those people on our border."

"Boy, you are a coward!" Nia shouted and looked towards the other members of the gathered group and didn't see the support in their faces from before.

Clarke moved next to Lexa, as Roan turned to address the Queen. "No mother, for once in my life, I am standing up against you. Too long have you laid waste to innocents for personal gain. You ignore the treaty you signed in good faith. Nothing satisfies your lust. What would it take? How many lives, how much land?"

"Silence! I have heard enough." The Queen started to leave as the guards moved in front of her.

"Stop her!" Lexa shouted. "Queen Nia, you stand accused of breaking the Kongeda's treaty, what say you?

Queen Nia spat on the ground and shouted, "You had this planned all along; using the betrayal of my son by your side and this one." Pointing to Clarke. "Of course I broke my treaty, it's because you are a weak leader. You need an outsider to protect you. Wanheda is the one with real power. My power."

"Arrest her. Remove her from my sight."

Lexa's guards grabbed Queen Nia by her arms and moved her out of the room. The door shut softly, and the place went silent. Members of her coalition sat in stunned disbelief at what they just witnessed. Beside the Queen's empty chair, her champion was no longer there.

"Prince Roan, will you take your place as a representative of Azgeda?" He bowed and moved to sit in the chair his mother once occupied.

~

Janus took his place by his side. Looking back up a Heda and then gazing away. With the weight of the Queen's reign nearly over, the knowledge of his guilt remained. _When will this shame leave me?_

"Shall we begin again," Lexa said to the hushed room.

~

Clarke left the hall after the drama was over. Still reeling with the sudden elation that the Queen would be punished. Glenus informed her that Heda would soon join in her chambers after her fate was decided. There was little discussion left but the clans deciding to admit their people or...Clarke pushed away from the unpleasant thoughts of not becoming a member of their Kongeda.

Clarke walked the long halls taking her time to observed the people of Polis busy at work and took the stairs to their floor, she felt lighter, smiling as she made her way down to Lexa's quarters. As she got the room, the door was ajar. The slumped body of Stefon laid crumbled just inside the door, and she quickly moved to his side.

Blood poured out from a slice across his neck, and his eyes had rolled back into his head.

"Oh, Stefon," she cried and tried to stem the flow of blood. But it was too late for her young friend.

Clarke felt a presence and stood and moved back from the door. Not seeing the person behind her, but sensing someone and turning to face her attacker. It was the young woman who had stood with Queen Nia. She was young, and her face carried the scars of their clan.

"You're here to kill me?"

"Yes, but slowly, Wanheda."

"You don't want to do this."

"Oh, but I do. My Queen wanted you by her side but killing you; I will restore my Queen's honor and destroy Heda Leksa.

Clarke hastily unfastened her cape and threw to the side and backed up pulling her sword from her belt, with a hissing warning. Ontari matched her movements and came down hard on Clarke's upraised sword. The clang of metal on metal reverberated down the hallway. Clarke grabbed her wrist and spun them around.

She moved back, and Ontari came at her, meaning to thrust the blade into her as Clarke stepped aside and pushed her hard down the hallway.

"Who taught you how to fight?"

Clarke ignored her question and brought her sword around just missing her torso. Ontari came at her again yelling, and Clarke met her in the middle with the blades crossed in front of them, and they held each other's stare for a moment.

A growl from down the hall as Star saw Clarke struggling with a stranger and she charged down the hallway to where they were fighting. She grabbed Ontari's leg with her teeth and started shaking her head violently. Ontari screamed and moved her blade down meaning to stab the wolf while Clarke came at her again with her sword. Ontari kicked Star, and she went tumbling away slamming against the wall with a high-pitched yelp and fell over onto the ground, as blood pooled from her side.

"You bitch!" Clarke screamed.

The girl had a small blade in her toe of her boot and had cut into Star. Clarke rushed towards her moving her blade fast, back and forth as woman matched her blows and backed her down the hallway.

Clarke's arms were tiring, and she didn't know how long she could keep this up. This girl was strong and more experience at fighting. But the techniques that Lexa's had trained her with gave her the courage to fight back against the fatigue. _Breathe, concentrate on your foot movements, dodge my blows, look for an opening._ Lexa's words echoed in her mind.

Over Ontari's shoulder, Clarke could see that opening. The lift at the end of the hallway and the cage to this floor was missing. It would be a sheer drop to the bottom if she could keep her backing up. Ontari glanced behind her and smiled and turned Clarke around now backing her up towards the opening.

"Shit," Clarke cursed.

Clarke pushed her away, and the girl came at her again with furious blows which she matched. Clarke couldn't help but continued moving backward. Clarke looked for another opening she grabbed the girl and turned her again and pushed her away. She came at Clarke, and they met their blades again. Clarke thought with the sounds echoing against the walls; surely someone should hear this by now. Ontari turned her back around, and she was nearing the opening to the lift.

 _Rid op hef._ The Sleeping Man. Lexa's voice echoed in Clarke's mind, and it gave her an idea.

Clarke waited until the blades were crossed in front of them and smiled at Ontari. Clarke grabbed her and pulled hard, backing up and landing on her back with a thud. And with the momentum it created, she lifted the girl above her and kicked out and over her head sending her into the shaft, but the girl grabbed her legs causing Clarke to tumble over and fell into the shaft with her, as she dropped her sword.

Clarke barely had time to grab at anything to keep from falling to her death when her hands caught the edge of the metal cage. Her hands were quickly slipping as the girl struggled to crawl up her body. Ontari held onto to Clarke and began pulling her down with her. Clinging to one of Clarke's legs as she dangled over the open air. Clarke kicked at her with her free leg, and weight of herself and girl was almost too much to bear. Ontari looked down and saw her fate below and pulled a blade from behind her back and looked up at Clarke.

"I told you I was going to kill you slowly, Wanheda." She brought the blade down into Clarke's thigh and let go, excepting her death as she fell.

Clarke screamed at the burning, stabbing pain. Her hands were growing weaker. Her arms were tiring, and she struggled to pull her weight up as she clung desperately to the metal bar. She took in a calming breath and called out, "Somebody, help me!" Octavia rounded the corner and dashed to her side, grabbing her arms and pulled her to safety.

"I got you, Clarke, I got you," Octavia said as she pulled further away from the drop.

Clarke's leg throbbed and ooze blood, and was certain she had busted some ribs. She reached down to touch the blade sticking out of her thigh as Lexa mounted the last stair and dashed to Clarke's side and pulled her into an embrace.

"The Queen's warrior," Clarke's voice grew weaker, "She's at the bottom, I...I think she killed Star," she said with a sob as her voice trailed off and closed her eyes and her head drooped to the side.

~

Lexa picked Clarke up and carried her into her room. Carefully moving past the body of Stefon as she eyed the blade in Clarke's leg and was hesitant to pull it out. Octavia went to the wounded and bloody Star and lifted her gently in her arms and carried her to their room and laid her next to Clarke on the bed.

"They're both hurt bad," Octavia said, looking around the room for cloth to cover the wound on Star's side.

Lexa saw the lurid green stain over the hilt of the blade. "The blade is covered in poison. Fetch me, my healers," Lexa barked to the waiting guard. He bowed then dashed out of the room.

"Octavia, call for Clarke's mother, we need her help." Lexa trailed off, as grief tried to take purchase in her heart she smoothed out the hair covering Clarke's face. _Keep busy._ Lexa unclasped her breastplate and gently removed it and set it aside. Working to take off the rest of her clothes. Having to cut around her pant leg as not to disturb the blade. Under her shirt, large bruises started to rise across her abdomen. Clarke had taken a beating in the fight.

~

Camp Arkaida moments later, static and a voice came through the radio resting next to Wick. He looked up from his soldering and picked up the receiver. "Raven's Workshop, Wick here, over."

_This is Octavia. We have an emergency. It's about Clarke; I need to speak with Abby, please hurry!_

"You got it, hold on." He dashed from the room rushing passing Raven as she hopped out of his way. Looking into each room he passed then saw Abby down the hall talking with Jaha he yelled at her, "Come quick something has happened to Clarke."

~

Clarke's eyes blinked open. They were blurry in the dim light. Only a shard of light filtering through the open curtains bathing the room in a soft glow. Her mind searched for familiar things, like the smell of flowers that rested next to the candles on the side table, and the warm body next to hers. She turned and met the smile of the girl laying next to her.

"Hey, sleepyhead. How are you feeling?"

Lexa was on her stomach facing her and one eyebrow edge up a bit. Her hand came up to cup her cheek. Clarke laughed, Lexa had never called her _sleepyhead_ , before as her eyes began to focus. She reached for her leg but forgot the reason why she should. She wasn't in pain except for a sore throat.

_Had she been screaming?_

She swallowed again wincing at the stinging and began to realize she was completely whole.

"I want you to go to town today if your feeling better. Remember the sofa I said would look great in the living room? I know you said you weren't crazy about the color but I think it's lovely. It would go great with the chairs that we picked up last month." Lexa smiled sweetly and moved over to kiss her lips.

What Lexa said didn't make a lick of sense at all, but Clarke just melted into her kiss, then pulled back. Still, a little confused. She thought she must be dreaming, but it feels too real.

"Sorry, morning breath," Clarke feigned.

Lexa laughed and shifted, lifting her body to rest over her and slid a leg between Clarke's thighs.

Clarke groaned at the sensation. It felt perfect. Her body was warm from sleep. They were of course very naked under the covers, it seemed wrong for some unknown reason, but the slow movements of Lexa's body against her felt divine.

She has to be dreaming, and maybe she should go with it anyway, what would it hurt. In her mind, Clarke knew she had to stop, stop the warm caress of her hands over Lexa's body, and a wet tongue that entered her mouth. She had to stop because it felt too real.

Her eyes came open again and smiled up Lexa's beautiful face, and absentmindedly rub her hand across Lexa's bicep and then glanced at her arm and saw nothing but clean skin. Her tattoo was gone.

_What the..?!_

Clarke stopped and sat up dislodging Lexa and looked around the room. _Where_ _the_ hell is _she? How did she get her? Was she dead? This isn't...where?_ She couldn't remember anything but knew this wasn't home.

Lexa rubbed her back. "What is it? I mean if you don't want to go today, I understand. But the sale will over after this weekend. Clarke, honey what's wrong?"

Clarke rubbed her face to offset her confusion. "I'm just overtired. I need to use the bathroom."

She stood up and grabbed the robe laying at the foot of the bed. At the end of the bed were a sleeping gray striped cat and two small black and white dogs. She moved to the front of the bed and almost tripped over the large yellow dog sprawled over the floor. She shook her head and looked around the room, seeing what she thought was a bathroom she stepped inside and shut the door.

"Oh my God." She moved to the edge of the counter and looked at herself in the mirror and what was reflected was a little older version of herself.

She was tanned over her complete body and carried no scars. Her hair was shoulder lengthed and still blond. She moved closer to look clearly into her eyes. "Who are you, where am I?"

As she watched her face in the mirror, she tried to recall where she was supposed to be, and the memories just weren't there anymore. She knew that this wasn't home, but didn't know where her home was anymore.

"What did you say?" Lexa stepped into the room, and Clarke spun around. "What's gotten into you? You're acting so strange, Clarke."

"I know this is going to sound odd, but what year is it?"

Lexa raised her eyebrows. "Are you okay?"

"Just tell me, what year is it?"

Lexa put her hand to her forehead. "I think you're still sick. Go lay down, and I'll bring you breakfast."

Lexa didn't register her question as she watched her leave and heard her calling to the dogs to go outside. She blew out a breath, frustrated by the lack of answers.

After using the restroom and washing her hands, she paused at the warmth of the water heating up. It was a strange sensation. Glancing around the room the bathroom and saw a tub and tested the taps. They also had running water. She didn't know why it would be strange but somewhere deeply buried in her memory; she knew that at some time in her life, this wasn't normal.

When she stepped back into the bedroom, she found a bright white shirt laying on the bed. Out of reflex, she pulled it over her head, fitting her arms through the sleeves and noticed that yes this too smelled wonderful and got back into bed.

The bedroom was airy. With a dresser at the opposite end of the room, that held miscellaneous items and nightstands on either side of the bed. Photographs hung on the walls of both them in front of an ocean on a sunny day and another one of Lexa standing in the forest somewhere holding up a bunch of flowers. And one beautiful sunset of them, that must have taken by someone else. It seemed to Clarke that they must have traveled quite a bit. One of the pieces of artwork stood out was a drawing of Lexa standing on a balcony, and it looked shockingly familiar, but nothing in her memory filled in any of the blanks. Looking closer she saw her name, 'Clarke Griffin signed at the bottom of the drawing, and she could only shake her head as Lexa returned with a tray in her hands.

She set it down in front of Clarke and moved the hair that had fallen into her eyes. "Take this for your sore throat." She gave Clarke a few white pills and a glass of orange juice and she quickly down it, the cool liquid soothing her throat. "Here's today's paper. I'm going to take my shower. Let me know if you need anything else."

Clarke needed to leave. _To go where idiot?_ She picked up the paper flipping it out and scanned the headlines. The words made no sense, the only thing she could make out was the date. It was _July 3, 1999_ , a Saturday. Another fleeting memory she could feel in her bones, that the time she was in was the past as she thought earlier.

She set the paper aside not quite sure what to make of any this, but at the moment her stomach growled and plucked a piece of toast off the dish and scooped up a pile of scrambled eggs on top and quickly ate it down. It shouldn't have surprised her, but the flavors in her mouth felt as real as anything she had experienced in her life before.

Clarke moved the tray to the side and got up to stretch out her back and walked to a large screen door and peered out over a perfectly manicured green grass. She took in a breath and hearing the sounds of the outdoors filter inside. Clarke looked at this beautiful space in wonder. A large tree in the back of the yard held a wooden structure and flowers of every kind bordered the fence.

She found a pair of gray sweatpants hung over a chair and put them on. They were soft and hugged her hips and found a pair of slippers near the side of the bed.

The view drew her outdoors as she inhaled the new morning. It smelled of earth and the blooming flowers that lined the fence surrounding the yard. The sun came up over the neighboring homes, and she turned around in a circle. Closing her eyes and feeling the warmth of the sun. "How could any of this be real?"

The yellow dog ran up to greet her and dropped a blue ball at her feet, and she absentmindedly picked it up and tossed it across the yard causing all of the dogs to dash to retrieve and bring it back to her repeating the process.

"I know this place," Clarke remarked eyeing the structure attached to the tree. Clarke climbed the ladder and stepped into the small room at the top.

~

Bellamy put Abby's medical supplies in the vehicle they had found at Mount Weather. He checked his weapon and added more gear in the back and slammed the door shut.

"Ready." Abby jumped into the front seat. Monty joined them along with Raven who was standing next to Wick. They were talking to low to hear. He stepped back on his heels and went in for a quick peck on her cheek that she dodged. Raven spun around and went to the vehicle to find her seat.

"Safe journey," Wick called with a wave to Raven as found her place in the back seat and crossed her arms.

She looked away and asked Bellamy, "How long will it take to get there?" Raven was seething about some information she just found out about her boyfriend and didn't want to cause a scene right before they left. Better to deal with this when she returns. Her primary concern was her friend, Clarke.

Bellamy ducked down and looked up through the windshield at the sky to check the sun. "A couple of hours. We should make it by sunset, a little earlier if the road is clear."

Abby began to explain what she had found out about Clarke's injuries, "Octavia said that Clarke is resting. The healers told her the poison is slow acting. It's a rare poison that affects different parts of her body and mind. She said it takes the victim to a dreamlike state and is very hard to wake them out of. Eventually, if Clarke doesn't wake, she could starve to death. I'm going to try and flush it out of her system, but we need to be quick. She doesn't have much time before even that will not wake her."

"Doesn't sound like poison to me. Could it be a narcotic?" Bellamy asked.

"I don't know," Abby said and added, "It's so rare that they only know of few people surviving."

"Interesting and frightening. Say no more." He put the vehicle in gear and sped towards Polis.

~

Clarke bathed and took some time enjoying the hot water. It was like she had died and gone to heaven. The shampoo, rinse, and soap were new smells to her. Everything was bright and clean and orderly.

She found a set of clothes that Lexa had laid out for her as she toweled her hair dry. A pretty new bra and underwear that matched and fitted to her body perfectly. A pair of cuffed denim shorts and blue and a white striped ribbed tank top and a comfortable pair of sandals. Strange clothing, it's as though she's living in a make-believe world of joy and happiness.

No one was trying to kill her. When that thought crashed into her head, was she remembering something? _Why would someone want to kill her?_ It passed, and she could feel herself wanting to stay.

But this wasn't home, and this couldn't be real. This place had to be a dream or has lost her damn mind. Dreaming in full color with complete sensations to everything she touched, heard, saw, tasted and smelled.

As she stepped out into the living room, Lexa was hanging up a device she had been talking into and turned to pick up a set of keys. "Are you ready to go?"

"All set," Clarke raising her eyebrows with her answer and followed her.

Lexa stopped at the door. "Are you forgetting something?"

Clarke looked around and down at her clothes. "I don't think so."

Lexa laughed and walked to the kitchen counter. "Here, you don't want to forget your purse." She handed Clarke a small leather bag.

Clarke took it and looked inside. She found a pair of sunglasses and a wallet with money inside and other miscellaneous items. Putting on the sunglasses, she asked. "How do I look?"

"Sexy. Come on." Clarke smiled and followed.

"Do you want to drive?" Lexa asked over her shoulder.

Clarke quickly responded, "Ah, no that's okay, you drive."

They passed through another door, and Lexa pushed a button just outside, and the far wall began to rise. Inside were two vehicles parked side by side. One blue and the other green.

Lexa got in the blue car. Clarke followed her and stood just outside of the side she just entered. Lexa rolled the window down, "I thought you wanted me to drive," Lexa said as she looked up at her in confusion.

Clarke laughed ducked down and saw the other side and where she was supposed to sit and moved to get in the car.

"Yeah, right sorry." Just go with it Clarke, this is just a dream. You're not crazy.

"You're acting so strange today, are you sure you're okay?"

Clarke's just nodded as Lexa backed the vehicle out and turned into the street. Her eyes went wide and watched as they passed large trees and homes that lined the road on either side.

They drove for a long time as Lexa chatted and Clarke tried to keep up, but nothing made sense. Lexa turned into a large flat area and then to a large building with writing on the outside that read. _Classic Designs Furniture Gallery._ Another sign read. _Open 7 days a week. Sale ends Monday_. The only thing she saw that sort of made sense, except for the date on the paper.

When they stepped into the building, a blast of cool air and new furniture smell hit her in the face. Clarke stopped in placed and blinked her eyes at the open area covered with every sort of chair, sofa, paintings, and decor. Everything was brand new.

She felt a hand on her elbow and looked towards Lexa, who began to edge her further into the store. "It's in the back if I remember correctly." Clarke followed her and stopped when Lexa sat on a sofa and put her hand over the fabric.

"This is nice. Try it out."

She motioned to her and Clarke sat down."Yeah, it's nice," Clarke agreed.

"You like this one better?" Lexa pulled up a price tag checking out its cost. "It's a little more expensive."

Clarke had no idea.

"Let me see the other one." _Go with Griffin._

They sat in a few more sofas, and Clarke was beginning to like shopping. There was so much to see, and touch. A fantasy, coming true that she didn't even know she wanted.

"Here it is. It's a sectional," Lexa said.

She was right it was lovely. The color was a dark green and would hide the dirt from the pets, and one side stretched out, so the two of them to cuddle together when the watched movies Lexa said. Clarke sat down and padded to spot next to her, and Lexa happily sat next to her.

"So you like it?"

"You know, I really do, can we get it?"

"I thought you hated shopping with me. If you're sure, yeah. Let's get it."

Lexa reached over and hugged her around the neck and place a quick kiss on her cheek.

An older gentleman approached, and Lexa quickly stood and started asking questions. She watched them talk and put her feet up. It was nice and enjoyed the sensation as she moved her hand back and forth hand across the surface.

A wave of exhaustion hit her, and she closed her eyes for a bit to rest. She took in a deep breath of the clean, cooled air and the softness of the cushion. She let her mind wander and relax when with a sudden ache stabbed into her right leg. Her face twisted into a grimace and her eyes popped open.

She was standing in a moist green forest. It was raining, and for a moment she just waited, unsure of where she until a sharp stabbing pain ached in her leg once more. Gazing down she saw the gaping wound on her leg, she reached down and touched the blood pouring out her leg.

Hearing a noise behind her, she limped toward a cave in the distance, turning to see what was tracking her. Behind her, she could only see black but felt a rushing movement coming towards her and ducked and screamed as a hand touched her back.

"Where are you going, Clarke?"

She shrunk down waiting for the blow that didn't come. Clarke was at the front of the store with Lexa's hand on her back.

Clarke breathed out in relief, "The store is a little too cold for me. I'm going to stand in the sun for a bit."

"Okay, I'm almost ready. The store can deliver the sofa next Friday if that will work for you."

"Fine, that's fine. I'll be outside."

Clarke stepped outside and into the sunlight and felt warmth covering her body. The pain her leg was gone, so was the image of a forest, and she closed her eyes in confusion. It honestly felt like she was losing her mind.

Lexa soon joined her and pulled her down the walkway. Checking the rest of the stores and commenting on the objects in the windows. Clarke smiled but felt lost. This place isn't her home or her time, not even her Lexa. _Her Lexa?_

"Hungry?"

She was, and Lexa pointed out a store window. Inside a man with two long sticks was cooking food over a large round metal object. Pouring water over the food creating steam and continued slapping the food around and finally scooping it into a bowl and handing it to a man waiting.

"This is the Mongolian barbecue place I was telling you about."

Clarke followed Lexa's instructions, selecting meat, vegetables, and sauces and waiting in line, as each customer's food cooked atop the hot plate. Everything was remarkably ordinary, and she could see how happy the people were. Young children with their parents were eating and laughing. So fucking normal and yet not right. Not even close to being right.

Lexa was correct. The food was fantastic. The flavors tasted rich and filling. She had told her that she could have more, but decided to stick to one bowl.

Lexa checked her watch and moved her hand across the table to rest against Clarke's. "How are you feeling? Still tired?"

Clarke hesitated for a moment looking into her eyes. She wanted to tell Lexa her secret. To tell her that this isn't right, she's not who she thinks she is.

"Can I be honest with you?"

"Always Clarke."

She leaned in and whispered. "I think I'm from the future."

Lexa pushed back from the table. "Well, that's not what I was expecting you to say at all. You're kidding of course, right?"

"I'm not. I don't know how to explain this without sounding completely out of my mind." She waited for a beat as Lexa just stared at her. "I don't know how I got here."

Clarke waited for her reaction and thought for a moment, contemplating the repercussions of telling someone who lived in the past of the future and the implications of screwing up a possible timeline. She decided not to say anything more.

"What I'm trying to say is, I don't know how I got so lucky to have a future with you. My mind has been a little confused, probably from being sick."

Clarke smiled at her, hoping she had dodged this momentary lapse in judgment and saw a corresponding smile reflected from Lexa's face.

Lexa rechecked her watch. "It's going on one o'clock. Are you ready to head back home?" Clarke nodded her head and yet felt lost.

The journey back to their home took less time than the trip to the store. Clarke's heart felt heavy. A sort of sadness of being in a beautiful place that she knew didn't belong. It belongs to another Clarke, but Lexa was holding her hand, and it did make her feel safe and loved.

Lexa pulled into their driveway and told Clarke to go ahead inside giving her the keys. She did, however, follow right behind Clarke and as she opened the door, and was greeted with a chorus of people cheering and wishing her a Happy Birthday.

Their home filled with strangers. Men and women and a few children. She felt claps on her back and hugs and kisses to her cheeks. Someone was shoving a beer into her hand and dragging her out to the backyard. Banners and balloons, food cooking and kids playing with the dogs. It felt wonderful. She had stepped into a world of joy. Her heart ached at its meaning. What if she just stopped asking herself questions and live her life instead. Maybe, somehow she would forget that this wasn't home.

An older woman approached and gave her hug and brushed the hair from her eyes, placing a kiss on her cheek. "How are you feeling, baby? Lexa said you've been sick."

"Before she could answer, Lexa was at her side holding Clarke around the back with her arm and leaning into her embrace. "Sorry, I told your mom you weren't feeling well, but I needed to move your birthday up a couple of days since your mother and step-dad are leaving for Hawaii next week. It's always impossible to surprise you."

"Mom?" Clarke said as she darted her eyes over the woman.

The woman wasn't her mother. She was pretty and little older than...who was her mother? Another lost memory evaporated before fully coalescing.

"I'm better. It's good to see you." She reached forward and hugged the woman again and feeling her arms surround her with a hug. She held on to her for a long moment. This woman loved her. She could feel it her bones. Looking up in the yard and into the faces of all of the people that loved her with no catch. Nobody wanted anything from her. This woman she was supposed to be, this other Clarke who was loved unconditionally. She felt it deep in her heart and tears began forming in her eyes, and she hugged the woman tighter.

She pulled back and wiped at her eyes. "Oh honey, don't cry. Not on your birthday." Moving to wipe her tears away.

Lexa moved in and took her Clarke's hand. "Let me take this one inside for a bit." Lexa winked at Maggie over her shoulder and pulled Clarke into their bedroom. She sat her on the bed and held her head in her hands for a few moments. Smoothing her eyebrows down and cupping her cheeks.

"You're making me a little nervous Clarke. What's got you so upset? Is it the party? Was it too much?"

"No, no. Everything's fine. The party is great, your wonderful. I'm just overwhelmed by all of this. You're too good to me."

"Hardly, but thank you. Why don't you freshen up a bit, then join us outside, okay?"

She bent down and kissed her. Clarke's hands went up to rest on her shoulders. The kiss deepens, and Clarke pulled her forward, so she laid over her.

This was wrong on so many levels, but it felt good. Clarke turned Lexa over and started to kiss down her neck and to edge of her shirt.

"Whoa, tiger. We got guests. Let's take this up later."

She pulled Clarke up and led her into the bathroom as she closed the door she said, "I love you. Don't keep us waiting, Birthday Girl."

Clarke stood in the bathroom, and the door shut and lean her head against it. Wishing she could go home, as beautiful and lovely as this place was, it wasn't her home. Clarke moved to sink and turned on the cold tap and splashing the water over her face, still hoping somehow to make sense of all of this. Then jumped when she felt a sharp pain in her arm this time and started to feel a little light-headed and sat on the edge of the tub and put her head in her hands.

Waiting for the dizziness to pass, taking in deep breaths as someone had taught her when she was young and had her first panic attack. Shaking her head, I had a panic attack when I was young? How did I remember that? But, she kept breathing in and out, deep long breaths. It had calmed her enough to join Lexa and friends outside and enjoy this party.

~

It was late now, past ten o'clock it read on the clock that hung outdoors. All of the guests had left, and it was just Lexa, her mom and new husband Rob seated in lounge chairs across one another drinking the last of the beers.

"So, Hawaii?" Clarke drawled happily, and pretty drunk. She had at least five beers and felt the effects.

"Yeah, belated honeymoon," Rob said, rubbing the skin on the outside of Maggie's hand and running his finger over her wedding ring.

"Sounds lovely." Clarke blinked her lazy eyes towards them.

At that, Maggie yawned, and Rob stood up and pulled at her causing her to stand.

"Got to get this pretty lady home. Happy Birthday, Clarke."

"Thanks, I had a great time, thanks for everything."

She followed everyone, as they gathered their things and headed out the front door. Clarke's mother hugged her again then pulled away getting into their car, and they watch as they drove down the street and out of sight.

Lexa patted her hand and guided her back to their home and into their bedroom. Pushing Clarke to sit on the bed and watched as Lexa pulled her sandals off and started to removed her top, bra, and shorts. Lexa pushed her back, and Clarke scooted backward on the bed until her head hit the pillow with Lexa hovering over watching as Clarke moved to put a few loose strands of hair behind her ear. Lexa closed her eyes at the affection.

"You know I love you right?" Clarke said, then added. "With all my heart. No matter what. I'll always be with you." She felt like she was dying and if she was, she needed to tell her soulmate. The pain in her leg and arm and now her chest had come back full force, and it was agonizing. Clarke could hardly breathe. She felt pain with every breath.

Lexa sat back, slightly confused but smiled at her words. "I love you too. I wish I knew what has bothered you so much today."

Clarke closed her eyes, and she felt Lexa bend over her and kissed her lips and moved back and then saying her name as it slowly faded away, "Clarke? Clarke honey..."

~

"Clarke, wake up. You got to wake up now." A voice from the mist, getting louder, it wasn't Lexa's.

She gasped at the pain trying not to take in deep breaths. Her eyes came open, and she was back home in Polis. Surrounding the bed was her mother and friends. Sitting next to her was Lexa holding her hand and laying next to her was Star, with a large bandage around her body looking at her with her tongue wagging to the side.

"Did I die?"

Everyone let out a collective gasp and embraced each other.

"No honey, you were poisoned."

"How did you get here so soon?"

"Long story, you need to rest now." Abby stood up and adjust the saline solution to I.V. that was attached to Clarke's arm and cupped her face.

Clarke tried to move and gasped at the pain in her chest and leg.

"You have three broken ribs, and your pretty bruised up. Lexa's healers stitch up your leg. You were lucky that she didn't hit the main artery. Rest, I'll see you in a few hours to change the I.V.

Clarke adjusted slightly to see, her Lexa. Her face held a strained look as if she had been crying. She reached up as Lexa moved to hold her hand.

"Did you dream Clarke?"

"I did." She remembered clearly now. The dream she had was the last chapter of the book they had been reading. She laughed. _Of course._ She moved her hand to cover her face.

"I dreamed of the story we read. Clarke's surprise birthday party. Damn, it felt real, everything about it, the sound, tastes, and feelings. I saw the other Lexa and her family. They were happy, but I knew it wasn't right, but I could figure why or a way out, I just knew I didn't belong there, I belong here with you."

Lexa laid next to Clarke with her hands still together. She moved to kiss her on the side of her face.

"I'm glad we got you back, Clarke."

"Me too."

Lexa waited for a beat and then said. "The Queen is dead."

Clarke jumped a bit with a moan. "Ow, ow. What happened?"

"The guards who took her cell to lock her up and said that she went screaming all the way there. When they went to check on her and bring her meal, it looked like she swallowed her tongue.

"Clarke winced at the thought. "Oh, my. How is that even possible?"

Your mother said after she examined her, she had rammed her head into the wall, and it may have caused a seizure." Lexa stumbled over the last word.

"Well, damn," Clarke said.

"What about the girl I fought?"

"Her name was Ontari. She died on impact." Lexa closed her eyes and described the description Lincoln had told her of her body lying at the bottom of the shaft. It was gruesome.

"My coalition agreed to admit your clan. Skaikru is officially a part of our clans. Your people are now a member of our Kongeda."

Tears came to Clarke's eyes unable to hold back the joy of being home and a part of this new world. They would find peace in their time.

"Sleep now, tomorrow is for celebration."


	24. Chapter 24

Abby rushed down the corridor following the guards to Lexa's quarters and could hear Clarke's cries before the door even opened, sending a jolt of adrenaline to her legs, spurring her to push past them and to run to her side.

Clarke moaned, tossing and turning on the bed as a frantic look cover Lexa's face and gazed up at Abby then back down at Clarke. Abby ducked Clarke's fist and then caught her hand before she almost got hit.

"Shh. I'm here Clarke."

"Clarke became agitated, and I couldn't wake her, Abby."

"How long has she been like this?" Abby worried that her daughter was falling under the poison's grip again.

"No more than a few minutes and then I sent for you."

Lexa moved away from the bed, but Abby stopped her with a hand on her arm. "Please stay Commander. Clarke will know if you leave."

Abby felt Clarke's forehead and saw a flush across her chest. "Clarke has a fever from the knife wound. It may have become infected." She lifted the bandaged covering the wound on Clarke's leg and found it seeping, and the area was red and warm to the touch. "I'll need to reopen the wound and restitched it closed. Can you give me a hand?"

Lexa nodded and did as Abby instructed, watching as she carefully cut the crude stitches open and drain the puss and blood from the angry wound. Lexa held a cloth to catch clear liquid Abby poured into the gash when Clarke began to moan and thrashed around.

"Keep her steady while I restitch the injury and apply a fresh bandage." Lexa put her arm around Clarke's shoulders and quietly whispered to low for Abby to hear, and it seemed to calm her down as she quickly worked to sew the wound closed. "I hope the antibiotic I gave Clarke earlier can beat back the infection."

Lexa nodded her head as tears leaked out of the side of Clarke's eyes that mirrored the one she could see caught in the corners of the Commander's eyes. Abby finished and then injected a drug for the pain into the I.V. bag. "This should take the edge off of some of her discomfort, but I fear Clarke is too hurt for it to be completely effective."

Abby cursed under her breath at the woman who attacked her daughter and knew if she were alive she would have beaten her to a pulp after Lexa had got finished with her. Lucky for the girl, she was dead.

~

Lexa pushed down the urge to shout out to the heavens at Clarke's agony. Wishing she could bargain with Keryon to take on the burden herself and bleed for Clarke. Remove her injuries somehow so that Clarke could sleep in peace. The most she could do was hold her in her arms and try an sooth her back into restful sleep.

"Is there anything else I can do Abby?"

"She needs time, Commander. Her injuries will heal, and I can't think of anything else right now other than your presence with her."

They sat in silence, as Abby wiped at Clarke's brow and her chest with a wet cloth to take down the heat. Lexa felt helpless and continued to rock her in her arms and hope through her contact, Clarke would know she was with her.

Lexa kept her eyes focus on Clarke's face while she contemplated Clarke's journey that led her to this place. A need explain to her mother what happened after Mount Weather rose up. "When I searched for Clarke after she left your camp, I was afraid she wouldn't accept my help after what I had done." Lexa pursed her lips and gazed at Abby, seeing understanding in her face. "Your daughter is strong and has a forgiving heart, and she cares deeply about everything and everyone. She didn't deserve this after all she has been through."

"She's been like that her whole life. She feels genuinely for people and only wants to see the good in them. Even after..." Abby paused then looked up into Lexa's eyes. "I also hurt her deeply, and we are still healing from my mistakes. Clarke may not always show her sadness, but I know it's still there. I hope one day she can forgive me."

"Clarke found a way to forgive my mistake. I know it couldn't have been easy for her. She owed me nothing and yet...I deeply regretted my error at Mount Weather when I left her to fight the mountain men alone." Lexa shivered and then shook her head. "When you regret a choice you've made, and then find that the one you hurt understands your shame and forgives you, then maybe it is a place to start healing." Lexa held Clarke closer. "Clarke did that with me when she forgave my betrayal."

"I have no doubt she would have found a way back to you in time. But that you sought her out and protected her, I could see her wanting to repair the rough patch you both found yourselves in. It's was no wonder Clarke wants to be with you. She hasn't had many friends that survived over the years."

"I love her, Abby," Lexa confessed.

"I knew the moment you returned with my daughter, Commander. I saw it written across your face." Abby tried to stifle a yawn.

Lexa sensed Abby's weariness and offered, "You're welcome to rest next to Clarke."

"Maybe for a few minutes.

~

Abby found room next to daughter on the large bed, and they both kept vigilant for any sign of discomfort from Clarke. Her heart was heavy, and grief filled the space. A space that Clarke resided. A mother's vigil strung with stub toes, broken hearts, and now an aching and weary body. A place she kept the worry locked and away so that Clarke could grow into the woman who might have saved them all. She was happy for her daughter that no words could be expressed the depth of her pride adequately. Her father would be so proud of how Clarke grew into this compelling woman, and after falling from the heavens, in an unknown and hostile land, their daughter became a leader for their people and saved them all. Abby shed tears of her own and said a grateful prayer that Clarke would find the peace she so richly deserves.

~

Lexa watched mother and daughter sleep and contemplated what she needed to discuss with Clarke after she heals. Curiosity spurred her to search through old transcripts handed down from their ancestors about bonds between members of an outside clan. Buried in an old forgotten room in a wooden box she found what she was looking for in one of the first records of their nation. She read that as Heda or a leader of a clan, a bond with a member of another clan _wasn't_ forbidden, to her shock.

Time and again her advisors spoke to her that being a leader was to be alone. And now the origin of their people didn't forbid such joining at all. She was upset that this information was all new to her. Kept from her. She knew all of their laws by rote, and couldn't find any mention of such restrictions that they had beat into her head.

She could have a family. But, Clarke would have to become a member of Trikru and give up her clan, or she would have to renounce her position as Heda and leave Polis.

There was an exception if there is a child conceived between the pair. The text read that the baby bonds the couple and their clans and no law can take away from this new life the houses of their parents. It was rare but not unheard. The founders considered this union, sacred and blessed. A way to bring continuity between clans. Essentially the child would be known as the bringer of peace. Her advisers would complain, but the documents gave her the right.

And this is why hadn't spoken to Clarke about what she had learned. Afraid that Clarke wouldn't desert her clan for her. It was a high price to pay for staying with her in the capital and leaving her people. Having a child with Clarke was of course not possible but hoped that there would be a way to make this work.

~

A sensation of being surrounded by love woke Clarke out of sleep. Her eyes came open and found herself sandwiched in between her partner and her mother.

"What the...Mom?"

"Hey," Abby's voice cracked and reached for her hand. "How are you feeling?"

Clarke winced in pain when she shifted and hissed, "Ow. My leg aches."

"I know. You had a restless night and developed a fever. Your wound became infected, and I had to drain it. I'm sorry I couldn't give you anything stronger for the pain because of the poison. I couldn't risk you going too deep into sleep."

"It feels like I've been sleeping for days," Clarke said in a whisper.

"It's been barely a day, Clarke." Abby looked towards the windows as the sun just beginning to peek through the curtains. "I should get up." The I.V. now empty, Abby removed the needle from Clarke's arm and put a small bandage to cover the seeping puncture. "How do your ribs feel?"

"Tender. It hurts to breathe deep."

"You'll probably feel a lot worse the next few days, and then your body will adjust, and you'll be able to take in deeper less painful breaths. Once you're able, I want you on your feet. I also want you to cough a couple of times an hour. Do that for the first few days. I'll keep your lungs clear and hopefully, you will not come down with pneumonia."

"I remember Mom." She hated this part of the healing process but knew it was necessary.

Lexa stirred next to her and tucked her face into to Clarke's neck. She took in a deep breath and then let out a contented sigh. Clarke's nearness seemed to calm her and was still deeply asleep.

Abby felt Clarke's forehead and cheek. "You're much cooler." She rested her hand on her cheek and Clarke cupped her hand over hers. She could see how tired her mom looked.

"Why don't you get some sleep. You look exhausted."

Abby yawned and moved to the sofa. "I'll rest over here for a bit. I don't want you out of my sight."

"I don't think I will be moving too much for a while. It's okay if you got back to your room. Lexa will send for you if I need you."

"Are you sure?" Clarke just smiled at her a looked down at the sleeping form of Lexa and nodded her head.

"Ok, but promise me you'll call if you need anything."

"I will, Mom."

The door softly shut after Abby left and Clarke tried to lift her arm to wrap around Lexa's shoulders and gave up at the first twinge of pain.

Her mind went back to the hours before when she was fighting for her life. The fight happened so fast that the training with Lexa was second nature. Her body remembered and along with the fear of death brought out a fierce desire to live. Her blows were furious and hard against the other women's blade when her arm jerked causing pain to radiate across her chest. Clarke hissed in pain again.

Lexa mumbled, "Clarke?"

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you. Please go back to sleep."

Lexa sleepily struggled to get up. "You must be hungry. I'll have my attendants fetch you a meal." She sat up in a daze, yet didn't move from the bed. She had a serious case of bed head, and Clarke held back her smile and straightened what she could reach.

Lexa shook herself awake and shifted away from, and Clarke naturally reached out to stop her. "Ow ow." Clarke's breaths came out, in short, painful moans but her curiosity got the best of her. "Wait, please tell me what happened after I left the Great Hall."

Lexa yawned and laid back down. "It was Roan, who spoke for you after you left. Unfortunately, two of the member of the coalition, Sankru, and Yujeda disputed your claim until Roan told them that you indeed did take the mountain, and why would a member of Azgeda lie for Skaikru. It shut down their objections, and the vote was unanimous. His voice now added to peace we all seek will make him into a good leader for his people."

"Does he know about his mother?"

"He was the first I notified. They need to keep the succession intact, as it could disrupt their clan. His counselor Janus will not dispute his claim as their new King. I was surprised as he did seem relieved. Queen Nia may have had loyal followers, but if there is a no leader for their people, the whole clan could fall into chaos."

"So, it's over?"

"Essentially yes. We will hold a celebration, but I've postponed it for now. You will need to heal. Winter is upon us, and the weather will turn colder. It won't matter if it happens in a week or months from now. I want this to be special for you Clarke. You've earned it."

"Why don't we wait until it turns warmer next spring or early summer?"

"Hmm. I will suggest this to my council. It will give the coalition time to adjust to your people. The ceremony is only a formality, and your clan can begin to trade with my people."

Star stirred against Clarke's legs and sat up and blinked her eyes and stood up on shaky legs she moved closer to Clarke. "I thought she died.," Clarke reached out to cup her face as the wolf licked at her hand and pushed her head into her palm.

"Your mother said that the knife wound was superficial. She's tender in spots like you Clarke." Star moved between Clarke and Lexa and laid her head down on Clarke's breast and blinked her blue eyes up at her.

"I am feeling hungry, but I need to go to the bathroom," Clarke shyly stated.

Lexa touched her shoulder and stood up reaching for a cloak. "I'll be back with help."

Clarke watched her leave as she absentmindedly petted Star's head, and she closed her eyes but could see a wag of her tail. A rush of emotions and events of the past twenty-four hours flooded into her mind. Her body nearly broken, almost dying and now all of their efforts would be realized.

She could feel joy bubbling up from deep inside of her, and she started to laugh, then groaned, "Ow, Star." The wolf blinked then sneezed, yelping and began licking at her bandage. "Uh-no, you'll need to leave that alone." Clarke patted her leg and the wolf laid back down.

~

A rush of activity followed Lexa who returned to the room with food and Mera, the head woman who had helped her get ready the day before. She was the mother figure in Lexa's household who always had a thoughtful, caring look on her face. Clarke tried to move from the bed. "Steady Wanheda. Let us do all of the work for you."

Mera reached behind Clarke and with Lexa's help, set her up and then got her to her feet. Clarke took in shaky painful breaths. Her leg was throbbing and cried out when she put weight on it and then her chest began to throb in pain.

"Wait, wait, it hurts too much. Please don't squeeze me too tight." Clarke leaned against Lexa to catch her breath. She felt the pain radiate through her chest from her broken ribs.

"Let us know when you're ready Clarke," Lexa said.

She nodded, and they continued to walk her over to the bathing chamber. Sitting her down on the toilet and left to give her privacy. After she finished and cleaned herself up, she tried to stand, but her effort was useless. She couldn't lift herself up without excruciating pain.

"I'm ready." She called out.

They returned to the room, and Lexa and Mera help clean the rest of her body and then slipped a clean sleeping gown over her head, and then walked her back to bed laid her down propping her up against the headboard against a pile of pillows.

Catching her breath Clarke said, "Well, that certainly sucked. Thank you for your help, Mera."

Mera stood up to leave then turned around and paused for a moment then addressed Clarke, "My son was proud of you, Wanheda. He had faith in you and what you bring to all of us."

"Who is your son?"

"His name was Stefon," She proudly stated.

"Oh no." The picture of his lifeless body came flooding into her mind. "I'm so sorry."

"Was not your fault. Stefon was doing what he was trained to do Wanheda, protecting you."

"Please, call me Clarke."

Mera bowed. "Clarke, I will keep his memory alive in my heart as I have all my children." She left them closing the door quietly behind her.

"She lost her two other children at the mountain before you fell from the sky," Lexa said.

Clarke closed her eyes, another memory she would hold in her heart. Now the feeling of what she had done at the mountain was changed, not in more grief, but that she had made the right decision.

"I hope you're hungry Clarke." Lexa smiled as she set the tray in front of her and undercover the bowl of steaming stew. "I know this isn't a morning meal, but you haven't eaten in almost a day, and you need to get your strength back."

"Never mind about that, this looks delicious." Clarke plowed into the meal while Lexa watched. That she was hungry was a good sign that she was healing.

"You better eat too," Clarke said around a mouth full of food. She dipped the bread into the juice then into her mouth, and her eyes went closed, savoring the flavors. "Hmm."

Lexa joined her after she put a bowl out of Star. The only sounds for a few quiet moments were of clicking spoons against the edge of the dishes and Polis coming to life.

~

Lexa's thoughts remained filled with the new information about bonding with Clarke. Bouncing from how to bring up, to what to say, how would Clarke respond? Should she just lay it all out and make in clinical, dry like the meetings she held with her counselors. Maybe she should wait, find the right moment but what if there isn't a good time?

"Clarke. I want to..."

She looked up from her bowl wiping the last of the bread to sop up the juice at the bottom. "Hmm?"

"I wanted to ask..." She stopped with a knock on their door. Clarke smiled at her. Lexa rolled her eyes. "It can wait. Please come in."

~

Lexa waited patiently while Clarke's friends and mother fussed over her, remarking how well she looked and laughed with her over the good news about become the thirteen clan of the Kongeda.

Clarke gave one of the banners she created to her friends, that represented their clan to take back home and invited them back to Polis, when they would hold the celebration, meaning to Lexa that Clarke would stay with her at least through the winter.

One lasting memory she had was of Clarke holding her mother's hand and leading her to her balcony and letting her see the city of Polis on this crisp winter's day. Lexa swallowed down her pride in the wonder she could see in their faces.

Raven spoke up and asked to explore the markets before they left for home, and Abby lingered with Clarke, and she found herself at her desk and read over her papers but could hear their quiet conversation.

"I just want to say how happy I am with you and what you did for our people. Your father would be so proud of you." Lexa snuck a quick peek at Clarke and saw her eyes welling up with tears once more.

No more words needed to be spoken as Abby held onto to her daughter and pressed kisses to her face and dried her tears.

~

When they were alone once more, Lexa saw Clarke relaxing against the pillows, her eyes closed. The papers she had been studying could wait, and she could bring this up with Clarke another time. No need to rush what couldn't remain for a day when they are both rested, and the threat of war is a distant memory.

She stood then looked up at Clarke's question, "So, what is it you wanted to ask me?"

"Perhaps you should rest. It's not anything that can not wait."

"Now you've got me intrigued. Lay it on me."

Lexa smiled at Clarke's banter. "Okay. I want to talk about completing the bond with you Clarke."

"Oh? I thought...I thought we already were bonded."

"Yes, that is true. Our hearts are joined yes, but in the eyes of my people, you're regarded as only the leader of Skaikru, like any other member."

"How do we complete the bond?"

Lexa fumbled through papers again "Ah, here it is." She moved next to Clarke and began translating the text in her head, then spoke in gonasleng, "In a clan, like Trikru, when people choose to bond or mate, their kin resolve any disputes before the bond is complete. Normally, it isn't a problem. An exchange of goods for past difficulties between the group usually settles the issue, and the pair joined. When two people are from different clans, the same is also true."

"I hear a but coming," Clarke said.

"You're right, Clarke. Since I am Heda, I can bond with you, but you would have to leave Skaikru and join my clan."

"I hope there is another but coming."

Lexa smiled sadly. "If there was a child between us. It would be the exception. Both mates remain a part of their clans and the child bonds the people and create unity between them. But, I know we can not have a child together."

Clarke waited quietly on the bed as Lexa looked down at the papers in her hands. Sadness filled her heart once again. Lexa wondered if she got on her knees and swore fealty to Clarke, would she stay in Polis with her.

"So you want to have children one day?"

Lexa looked up and stammered, "Uh.."

Clarke laughed, "No, no. What I mean if it were possible, you would want to have a child with me?"

Now Lexa's face flushed red, and she looked away, "Clarke, it's not possible."

Clarke relented in her teasing. "There might be away. Before the world was destroyed the technology existed that allowed women to have children together. It was pretty common from what I read in my earth studies on the Ark. I think that a pair on the Ark did have a child together. The knowledge existed at one time, but we would have to search for it on the Ark computers. Heck, it might even be in Mountain Weather's databases."

"How is that possible Clarke?"

"Well, it's not romantic, and I don't have the details off the top of my head. I do remember understanding the principals, and I know my mom could help us out."

"So I...we could have a child together?"

"We could. It's just that I don't want a child right now. I would like to wait. I just turned eighteen, and removed my birth control so my hormone levels wouldn't be right even if I wanted too."

"Of course. Yes, of course, Clarke." Lexa wiped something out of her eye and put away her papers but lingered at her desk.

"Maybe later, in a few years, I'll ask my mom to start searching for the information. Would you mind if I told her that we want to keep it a secret for now?"

"I have no objections, but why a secret Clarke?"

Clarke waved her back to her side and held her hand. "You know I've always been or tried to be the good girl. On the Ark and when we came to earth. I tried so hard to make people listen to me, and it didn't always work. I don't know if it was because of my youth or what I looked like that people didn't take me seriously. When we came to earth, I learned early on that our people needed a leader and once I took charge, and I found my place in that role. The downside of that, I became an open book, and even my people took advantage of that. I grew to resent that they always thought I had an answer for everything and it almost killed me."

"What are you saying, Clarke?"

"What I'm trying to say, I need time to process what we have accomplished. I want the peace between our people to last, and when we have a child together, she will be the peace that solidifies all of our work. I think that keeping it between us of a future child gives our people time to grow to trust one another."

Lexa laid her head next to Clarke and placed her hand over her belly, the place where their child would grow inside of Clarke. "We will take the time you need, my love. All the time you want."

Clarke played with Lexa's fingers and tugged them until she held her gaze. "I have one request of you. When we are officially bonded, I would like to share it with _both_ of our families."

Lexa could imagine that invisible boundary she kept between herself and those close to her heart. It was meant to keep them safe. But already, with Clarke, she was testing its limits, and she almost paid with her life. But she wondered at her request. Could be possible now that Queen Nia is gone and the threat removed that she could embrace her family? And again the words of her advisor filled her mind. She was to suffer in silence and be alone because of the threat. But if the threat was gone?

Lexa grew excited at the possibility. A chance to reconnect with her family that has not seen or spoken with in ages caused her heart to soar.

"I would like you to meet my family, Clarke. But, we need to get you healthy first, Clarke. Then I will arrange for us to see my family as soon as you can travel."

"Hmm, a road trip. I like it." Clarke smiled sweetly and motioned to her lips. "Please come here, my Heda. I haven't properly kissed you today."

Lexa sat up on her knees and walked over to Clarke. Putting two hands against the headboard and ducked her head down. She waited, watching Clarke and as the moment between them slowed down. Clarke put a hand behind her neck and pulled her down and pressed their lips together.

~

Days later found Clarke and Lexa resting on the massive sofa with a fire burning warmly in the fireplace nearby, and the room lit with dozens of candles. When the wind blew in from the parted curtains, the smell of honeycomb and a day at a waterfall filled the air.

Clarke shifted to get a better view to draw. Lexa had one of her arms curled around the wolf's belly, and both were sound asleep. Her two favorite girls spent some time this morning after Lexa's bath, wrestling and running around the room until they collapse.

Things were getting back to normal. Clarke paused. Well, normal in a sense they could relax and not have to worry about how to save the world without losing themselves, kind of normal and today was about just them.

Her sketchbook now filled with this room in charcoal and lightness. A record of these first few days, when peace was at their doorstep. Already messages told of harmony growing between the borders. Curious people were reaching out and formed a new understanding with their neighbors.

Still, there were rumblings in the outer clans, but for now, a stern warning from Heda seemed to quiet any uprisings. But it was always a worry, that for now, Lexa let the local rulers handle.

A quiet knock on her door woke Lexa out of a light sleep dislodging Star, who shook herself and went to Clarke's side. She looked up from her drawing and the new young apprentice, Jaco appeared, indicating they had a visitor.

King Roan's advisor, Janus arrived, flanked on either side by Lexa's guards as they escorted him into the room, and she motioned for them to leave. Lexa stood up and moved to the center of the chamber and eyed Clarke and with a slight movement of her hand motioning to her to remain sitting when she started to rise.

Janus bowed and then met her eyes. A strain showed on his face. Was it fear? He shook his head sadly, then went to his knees.

"Heda Leksa, I come before you to beg for forgiveness." Her brow furrowed and motion to continue with a lift of her chin. "I seek to unburden myself of what my Queen required of me when I served her." Lexa remained stoic only turning her head slightly to gaze at Clarke and back to the man on his knees before her. He kept his head bowed and uttered in a quiet voice, "I was to blame for your niron's death. I was ordered to capture, the young Costia and bring her before the Queen. I was the one who sent men to find her."

Lexa swallowed down her anger as her eyes grew dark. She struggled to control the pain and sorrow and fought to push it down as it worked its way up back into her heart and took in a breath to maintain control.

"Tell me everything that happened to her." Lexa braced herself against this anguish and found it almost unbearable. But, she had to know what happened to her first love.

"My Queen instructed me to find your weakness. Word came to us about a young girl who was seen with you, and I told my men to follow her. One day she was alone in the markets of Polis and was distracted, and they grabbed her off the street. The Queen also demanded, she was to be unsoiled, and I can attest she remained untouched. However, she was very cold and sick when she arrived a month later in Azgeda."

~

Clarke could only see the side of Lexa's face as she kept her hands clasped behind her back, but her body shook, trying to maintain composure. Clarke cried soundlessly and pulled Star closer to her side.

"The young girl was stripped down and changed into beggars clothing. Only thin strips of cloth. Her skin was still pale from the cold, and I did nothing to help her." He looked up at Lexa as his tears fell down his face. He seemed to search to find the grief in Lexa's face, yet she remained stoic.

"The Queen demanded answers about your weakness, and when the girl was unable to answer, she was punished with cuts to her body. She begged for her life, Heda. I am sorry to say that her torture lasted for days. She would be released from her chains after the questioning and only given small portions of food and on her last day when she was barely alive and still not able to answer the Queen's questions. I went to her side, and she held a strip of cloth tightly in her hand. She looked into my eyes and whispered to give this to you one day if I could find my heart. To this day, I do not know why she trusted in me to do this. But, I hid it away from the Queen, and she died moments later." Janus held out his hand to deliver her final message. Lexa took it in her shaking hands, and he bent over in supplication. "Please forgive me."

"Who took off her head?"

Janus looked up as wiped his face. "The Queen became hysterical when she died since she didn't get her what she sought from the girl and cut her head off herself."

~

When the girl arrived, and he went to her prison he peered at her through the bars, when she looked up, he was though he was looking into the face of his own children. She had scared frighten eyes, and he was caught in this trap. What if this was his child? When the girl died, the Queen pulled out her sword in anger, swung it around and took her head, holding it up in one hand and carelessly throwing in his direction. That is what broke him. He knew he had a duty to his Queen, but the girl's secret would remain with him, when and if the time ever presented itself he wouldn't know. But, the time did come, and he did find his heart.

~

Lexa closed her eyes, and for a long moment, the room remained completely quiet. Only soft breaths coming from her and Clarke could see a vein pulsing in her neck. Straining to spill her blood from her body.

"Leave us."

"But, Heda."

Lexa opened her eyes, as they bored into him. Without another word he rose and moved to the door. "I'm truly sorry, Heda." Bowing as he left.

She opened the message, finding it written in her blood. When her eyes scanned over it several times, her shoulders sagged, and for long moments Clarke watched her as Lexa slowly went to her knees and put her head in her hands began sobbing. Deep, sorrowful cries that tugged at her Clarke's heart and with great effort she managed to stand up and go to her side and slowly kneeled down and tried to cover her body with hers. Even though the pain of her broken ribs, she held Lexa as she wept. Clarke could see the message in her hand, and it read:

_Ai hod_ _in yu , niron._

~

"No, no, you mustn't hurt yourself, Clarke." Lexa wiped her face and helped Clarke back to her feet and guided her back to bed. Pulling the covers over her, she was too afraid to look into Clarke's eyes. She took the note and walked to her desk and placed the message inside of a small box that rested on its surface. Lexa held her hand over the object for a moment. Her thoughts of Costia crashed through every part of her soul.

And now she knew. She had hoped that Costia didn't suffer. Her mind had painted a different scenario that somehow if she had to die at that hands of a tyrant, it would have been quickly and with mercy. The Queen did neither, and Costia did indeed suffer because of her; because she dared to love another.

~

Clarke watched her back as stood by her desk; the pain was evident in her posture. How could she make this right, fix the pain her lover felt? Right the wrongs...

"Lexa, please come here."

She waited until Lexa took in a breath to steady herself and turned to meet Clarke's anxious eyes. "I had been selfish when I brought Costia to live with me in Polis. Foolish that as a leader I could do as I wanted and ignore what they had warned me against and it cost Costia her life."

"Wait, wait a minute Lexa, what are you trying to say?" Worried creased Clarke's face.

"What I'm saying, I want you to be safe Clarke."

Tears started to form in Clarke's eyes and she halting spoke out, "Do you want me to leave?"

~

Lexa looked up with a startled look on her face. "Oh, no. No, I'm sorry, no that's not what I meant at all." She rushed to Clarke's side and held her hand. "What I intended to say..." Lexa looked down unable to make sense of the rushing emotion crashing through her. What was she trying to say? Looking up and into Clarke's concerned face. She cupped her cheek. "I will always keep you safe, with me. You may not like this, but I intend to have a guard with you from now on. You will not fight me on this Clarke. Your life is too important. I must protect you with everything that I am."

Clarke took in a shaky breath and nodded. "Lexa, I won't fight you over this. Whatever you see fit for me, a guard hell two guards and look, Star can watch over me too." Lexa looked up with a small laugh, the tension in the room started to subside.

"Star, of course. She would guard you well."

The cub looked up at her place next to Clarke and sat down and put her paw out, and Lexa took it in her hand.

"See, she's making a deal with you to keep me safe, Lexa." Another watery laugh from Lexa and she looked up and into her eyes once more.

~

Clarke knew this sadness would always be a part of Lexa's life. The pain Lexa felt losing someone, senselessly and cruelly put both of their lives in perspective. That Lexa had loved another and then lost her, spoke to how brave it was for Lexa to put her heart out again. The risk was great, but Clarke knew that this was something between that couldn't be stopped. Clarke's duty was to make Lexa as happy as she could, for a long as it was possible.

Her thoughts went back to what Lexa told her about bonding her life together with a child. Maybe they shouldn't wait.


	25. Chapter 25

The Commander, uncharacteristically dashed around their bedroom this morning, tossing nearly every piece of clothing she had on their bed, searching for the right clothes and boots to wear today. They were due to leave Polis on a trip to her family's home, and she could barely contain her excitement.

Clarke heard her mumbling under her breath as she got ready, _Did I pack enough undergarments and where is my good knife?_ Checking and rechecking each bundle. It took all of Clarke's concentration to get her to relax. Then, finally, when they were going down the lift, Lexa began to hum and rocked back on forth on her feet looking down the shaft willing it to move faster.

~

It was midday on the ride south when Lexa's noticed Clarke giving her curious glances. Typically she would have thought nothing of it, but from what she was learning about her girl, her mind was always questioning her new world when Clarke asked, "I don't think I've heard those particular sounds come out of you before, Lexa. What were you humming before we left home?"

Lexa hid her blush by patting Draco's neck. "I was? I didn't notice." She certainly was, indeed humming. Trying to keep an air of nonchalant at Clarke's intense stare caused Lexa looked away, a bit embarrassed and figured since this was a very small lie maybe she could get away with it, but knowing Clarke, she wasn't going to let this drop.

"Really? Because you've been doing it for days, ever since we decided to visit your family."

Lexa glanced over at Clarke riding on the freshly groomed Fotam and decided to come somewhat clean. "My mother would sing to us when I was young." Pausing to think of another small fib. "When my mother cooked or cleaned, she would sing and said it would help her relax."

"What are the words that she used? I could always use a calm me down song."

Clarke bit her lip as Lexa looked over, pleading with her eyes not to embarrass her in front of her warriors.

"Clarke, honestly I don't remember the words, it's been ages." Lexa didn't look directly at her and was almost sure that Clarke didn't believe her, but had mercy on her and changed the subject.

"So, how long will it take to get to your family's home?"

"Not long. We should arrive by mid-day."

~

Clarke enjoyed the easy banter she now shared with Lexa. All kidding aside, it finally let her see a new facet to her partner, that months ago wasn't even a possibility.

Clarke's ribs were healing, so taking deep breaths was no longer as painful as in the first few days. Her stitches in her leg came out, and all that remained was a thin red scar. Her mother had done an excellent job sewing her up, and soon, eventually, that would fade. What happened to her would only live in memories, safely tuck away and bring out when reliving the first steps on their journey towards peace.

Clarke, like her partner, couldn't contain her excitement. She would be meeting Lexa's family for the first time, and also had news from her mother that she was dying to tell Lexa. One evening while Lexa was deep in counsel with her advisors over some minor border disputes and new treaties, she contacted her mother over the radio and told her of her wish of having a child with Lexa.

After Abby's initial shock and Clarke's enthusiasm she agreed to help them, and yes she would keep it a secret and would research in their files. After a week, her mom finally radioed back, letting her know she had found the data in her medical database. It would be possible and would have everything ready, for the next time she visited home.

Abby told her she couldn't wait to be a grandmother. They laughed over the possible names and baby clothes. Soon pitter-patter of little feet running around almost made them burst with happiness.

After Clarke had heard the disturbing description of what had happened to Costia and witnessed how it tore at Lexa's heart, it was a rocky few days afterward between them. With Clarke giving space to Lexa as she dealt with the guilt.

King Roan's advisor, Janus was allowed to leave the city. Lexa finally broke down the reasons to her. The first, was his contrition when he laid at her feet begging for forgiveness. The second, King Roan needed an advisor who he could trust. Through Janus's shame and remorse, she found a way to forgive him.

That's when Clarke decided not to wait to have a child with her. It was clear now that there would never be a guarantee that their lives would be long or they would have time to grow old together. If she didn't do this soon, there could always be a chance something could happen to either one of them. She hated to even think of that possibility.

Now the decision was made, she was aching to tell Lexa but wanted it a special moment when they were alone to give her the news. She decided to surprise Lexa while they were away from Polis. Let her experience the joy of seeing her family again, and the prospect of having her own.

Clarke's menstrual cycle didn't come in January as planned, so now she wasn't sure when it would start. With the stress of the events that transpired after they had left Arkadia, fighting for her life after being poisoned, all of those incidents could have affected her body's natural rhythm with the stress.

Now only with a blood test, she could be confident that her body was ready. After their visit with Lexa's family, they would head back to Polis and then to Arkadia. Hopefully, the timing would put her on track for her next cycle.

From her mother's vast knowledge of medicine, ova would be extracted from Clarke and with Lexa's contribution, joined together. After a positive outcome of fertilization, the embryo would be placed back into her womb. The timing and technology would have to be perfect.

The other delicate intricacy of this process, how to convince a population who was just crawling out of the dark ages to believe that one woman could make another one pregnant. There were a few ways, one which would involve an outside observer. Someone who wasn't tied to either Skaikru or Trikru. She thought that maybe King Roan could be that witness. It would entail bringing him up to speed on their technology and signing on as the witness that Lexa was indeed the second parent. Her mother informed her that he wouldn't have been present in the room, just that the procedure took place. The second way and the one she thought would be better was a simple blood test, confirming the biological parents. But, this would have to wait until the child was born.

When the realization of they are doing hit her; she would have a baby with Lexa, another woman and the Commander of their world, leader of the thirteen clans. It woke up a deep empty feeling inside of her that wanted to be filled with this new life between them. Lexa would be giving something to her that would complete the bond, how precious that gift would be?

~

The worn path opened up, revealing fields of winter wheat lining one side of the road. It wouldn't be ready for harvest until next spring, Lexa noted, someone had planned ahead also remembering the benefits of keeping the soil erosion down and for barter crop later.

A few trees also dotted the path and one in particular caught Lexa's sight and motioned to Clarke subtly upward. In one of the branches, a small figure hid. As they approached the hiding tree, they stopped their horses and watched as the child swung over to a high limb, hand over hand to the lower limbs and then jumped down and pulled out a stick from her belt and held it out like a sword.

"Chon kigon der?"

The child's accent was distinct and demanding as Lexa patted her horse on his neck and gazed down at the girl. She tilted her head eying the small girl. Her hair was long, dark brown and held back by a single piece of leather. She wore a clean light shirt, with tan leather coat and faded pants. Over her feet were practical footwear. The clothing she wore reminded her of the ones she had when she was a child and help tend the fields of her family and smiled at the young girl. As Lexa gazed down, she recognized this was her kin and decided to play along.

"Ai laik Heda. May we pass this way?"

The girl stood bravely and stepped in front of them. "Impossible, Heda is ten feet tall and rides a giant stallion who breathes fire."

With a laugh, Lexa indicated, "I'm sure I'm only the size I am and see my horse does not breathe fire. That I can assure you."

The girl still stood in the way and kept her wooden sword trained on Lexa.

"Lesta. Surely you can see, I am your sis." Lexa slid off of her horse and gathered the girl into her arms. The girl tried to pull back, and Lexa released her. "It's me, your sister, Lexa."

The girl's eyes went wide as she gazed up. "Lexa?"

"Yes, it's me." Lexa looked down at her and smoothed the hair over her back and hugged her once more. "You've grown since I saw you last."

Lesta buried her face into Lexa's chest. "I've missed you so much."

"I have also missed you." Lexa pulled back and stared down at her. "You're so much taller than I remember." She leaned over and touched her forehead to Lesta's.

~

Clarke didn't think her heart could fill up any more than it was at this moment, as she watched the tender interaction between her partner and little sister.

The little girl reverted to their native tongue and had a hard time keeping up with her chatter. She heard something about horses and swords, and then her eyes look up at the rest of the waiting party.

Lexa stepped in front of Clarke's horse bringing Lesta with her with an arm around her back. "Lesta, I would like to introduce my partner, Clarke kom Skaikru."

"Clarke, this is my sister, Lesta kom Trikru."

Clarke dismounted Fotam, careful not jostle her ribs and approached the two sisters standing in the road.

"It's a pleasure to meet yo..." She let out a huff of air when the girl's arms went around her waist and hugged her. For being small, Lesta was surprisingly strong. Clarke eyed Lexa and saw pride her face. It was just about the sweetest look she had seen in a while.

Star, never wanting to be left out, wandered over to the pair and sat down next to them. Looking up at their interaction then rose up to put her paws over Lesta's shoulders. Without any fear, Lesta hugged Star around her back.

"Star?" The wolf looked back over to Clarke and then to the girl and licked her face and sat back down.

"Wow, she's never done that before, I think she likes you Lesta."

"I like her too." Lesta took the stick she was holding and threw down the road, as Star dashed after it. Lesta ran trying to keep up.

Clarke took Lexa's hand leaning over to whisper in her ear, "I can see what you must have looked like as a child."

Lexa put her arm around Clarke's back agreeing, "I swear it's like looking in a mirror."

Lexa lead them back to their horses, helping Clarke to mount, then whistled loudly over to her sister causing Clarke covered her ears. Lesta ran back to where they were waiting, and Lexa reached down and held an arm down, placing Lesta in front of her. Lexa clicked her tongue, and they continued the way down the road.

After a brief moment, Lesta questions came out a mile a minute. "Where have you been? Have you seen Polis? Who are all these people following her? What is a partner?" Clarke chuckled at Lexa's attempt at answering every one.

_Soon you and I, my love will have a child of our own, and I hope she is inquisitive as your sister._

Behind them in the storage wagon held their supplies for the trip and gifts for Lexa's family. Early in the week, they shopped in the markets of Polis, with Clarke dragging Lexa from one stall to the next. Searching for presents to be taken back to her family. She finally settled on books and writing materials for Lesta, with Lexa eyeing a set of knives for her father and gifts for her mother; sweet-smelling oils, and a few new cooking pots. Also, warm coats for the winter. Lined with rabbit fur and oiled coating the leather outside, to keep the rain and snow from penetrating.

The path opened up, and they continued until a crude fence line sprang up on one side of the road. Clarke looked over at Lexa, watching her eyes gathering in the familiar land and then her head jerk up and looked in the distance. Clarke followed her gaze and in the countryside sat her family's home.

Lexa sat up straight on her horse and could see that she wanted to nudge her horse to move a little faster. But, held her foot still and let the horse carry on its easy walk down the path.

Clarke tried to take in everything. The home was made out of long lengths of logs, cut down from the nearby forest. Looking out over the open fields, Clarke surmised that it had been a forest, and sturdy construction of their home must have come from the trees that once grew there. The house itself showed that someone had spent a great deal of time making sure it would stand up to heavy rains and the long winters.

Alongside the home was another wooden structure. The large doors were open, and she could see where their animals lived. It dawned on Clarke; she was looking at a farm, with farm animals, just like the stories she read on the Ark.

Her warrior, Lexa was a farm girl at heart.

It was honest, but a hard life and it gave a sense of purpose to their lives, kept her people fed and protected. Seeing now, what survived the destruction of their world. The human condition with all its flaws, if allowed would rise from the ashes and continued to fight for the right to live, to exist and it lucky enough, to have a life filled with joy and love.

She wondered why did Lexa agree to leave her home, did she have a choice, or was it something else that caused her to depart from this beautiful country. Something inside of Lexa must have sought a higher meaning to her life and now thinking of what it took to reach the highest achievement to rule over all of this land; she began to look at Lexa with new eyes. She may have been only a simple farm girl, but now she was a leader and what kind of courage did it take to do what she has done, in such a short amount of time? By bringing together twelve, no thirteen clans under her leadership.

Off to one side, clothing hung out to dry in the winter sun when Clarke saw the back of a woman at work. Her hair was dark like Lexa's but for a few streaks of gray and also held back by a strip of leather. She shook out a pair of pants and clipped them to the line. Rubbing her hands on her clothing. The woman must have heard their group approaching and put her hand up to cover the glint of the sun. Her eyes grew wide recognizing the woman mounted on the lead horse.

Lesta swung her leg over and dropped down from Lexa's horse and ran to her mother as Star followed her new friend. Lexa kicked her horse into a steady trot, its hooves making satisfying rhythmic clopping sounds against the worn path that led to the gate that lined the front of her home.

Clarke held her breath, waiting in anticipation watching as Lexa jumped down to the ground and ran the rest of the way to the woman and fell into her arms, picking her up and spinning her around, until the woman slapped at her shoulders with her laughter carrying over the fields.

The woman did indeed look a lot like Lexa. But, with only a few differences, one being her height, she was at least several inches shorter and a little plump. Wrinkles lined her face, and she could see her partner in her when she smiled.

Clarke kicked Fotam and braced herself around the waist, following Lexa. The first words she heard the older woman say.

"Ma fyucha gada."

Her mother reverted to gonasleng and said. "I have missed you so, let me look at you. You're so strong. Your father..."

Her mother noticed Clarke approach on her horse and dismounted, slowly walk over to where they were standing.

"You brought guests with you?"

"Nomon, I..." Lexa hesitated, seemingly unsure of how to introduce her partner.

"This is Clarke...my friend."

Clarke's raised her eyebrows and did a sidelong glance at Lexa. _My friend?_

"Clarke, this is my mother, Rosel."

"Hello, it's a pleasure to meet you," Clarke said and put out her forearm in the traditional Trikru greeting. Her mother moved Clarke's hand away, pulling her into a hug instead. So like her other daughter, Lesta.

"You're so pretty. Have all you come from Polis?"

"Sort of, I'm staying there currently, but I came from the sk..." Over her Rosel's shoulder, she saw Lexa shake her head, stopping her from answering. _Apparently, not only am I just a friend now, I can't tell her mother where I came from._

"Yes, I live in Polis."

"You speak so strangely. I don't think I've heard someone talk like this before."

"How do you mean?" Clarke asked.

"You speech is clear, no accent."

"Well, I guess I had a great teacher." Looking back at Lexa, trying with her eyes to get an answer from her, but she looked away, unable to meet her gaze. _This was absurd._ Lexa better had a damn good explanation of why I can't be honest with her mother. We are definitely having words later.

Lexa cleared her throat, "Where's Papa?"

"He's away trading for goods and should be back before last meal. Will you stay with us?"

"Yes, we've come to spend some time with you. Can my warriors camp on your land, Mama?"

Rosel looked out down the road and pointed. "Hmm, take them to the edge of the open field. There is a clearing you can set up your camp."

"Very good, thank you."

~

Lexa followed her men over to the far pasture tugging Draco who began to feed on the short grasses that grew near the fence line. She instructed her men to keep to the perimeter of the forest and out of the fields. Knowing, from lessons taught to her as a young child, of the value of clean earth and keeping their horses from soiling the ground. She also knew owed Clarke an explanation. How could she be so afraid to share with her mother, of who Clarke was to her? Surely, she was not ashamed.

Lexa returned to her home and eyed her mother, showing off freshly picked vegetables and Lesta clinging to Clarke's side as though she was a long lost friend. Clarke's absentmindedly, petting her sister's back over her hair. Leaning over to smell a fresh red fruit her mother held out to her and fondly remembered the sweet pastry it would be baked into.

Clarke gazed back at her as she approached, and saw the hurt in her eyes. She did that to her and needed to explain. Why was she so shy to be completely honest with her mother?

~

Rosel saw the look that her friend gave Lexa. There was a connection linking the two. She could almost see the unspoken words hanging between them as she looked at one and then the other. This one is more than just a friend. _Oh, Lexa, you are so much like your father._

~

Clarke swallowed the lump in her throat when Lexa returned. Unable to understand the changed in her behavior. I want to be mad at you. Ask you why you didn't tell your mother, the truth of who I am to you. Why also, she couldn't tell her mother where she came from. It hurt and needed some time to process what just happened between them.

"Lexa, please may I have a moment to speak with you alone," Rosel asked politely.

Clarke took the hint. "I'll be over at the camp."

Rosel guided her daughter to the side. Leaving them alone as Lesta played with Star. She led Fotam towards the newly constructed campsite and handed her horse off to one of the waiting men. Well, now what? I don't want to make a scene in front of her family. But, I can't let this go.

Lexa's men set up their tent first, and stepped inside, sitting heavily on the bed, putting her chin on her hands and gazed out the opening. Down the road, watching Lexa in an animated discussion with her mother.

Rosel was waving her hands around, and Lexa was...Well, this is new. Lexa was cowering when her mother tapped her the back of her head. Lexa put her arms up and then grabbed her mother's hands to keep her from thumping her again.

Clarke could help but chuckle at the scene that played out. Obviously, Lexa was getting scolded by her mother. She laughed again when the woman began pointing at her, and Lexa looked up and over in Clarke's direction with what she could only guess was a forlorn expression and then with a shove from her mother, she slowly walked towards their camp.

Clarke stood up and began making their bed and pulling out the clothing that the would wear while they visited. She waited for a few minutes while Lexa lingered near her horse, looking back towards her family home and then lean her head against the horse's withers.

Having made a decision, Clarke guessed, Lexa pushed away from her horse and handing the reins over to one of her men. She straightened her shoulders and made the slow walk to their tent, ducking inside, but looking away not able to meet the stare that Clarke was giving her.

Clarke was now sitting her bed her arms and legs crossed. "Do you want to tell me what that hell that was all about?"

Clarke waited, watching as Lexa took a breath and sat on the cot. "I'm sorry Clarke. I hadn't prepared myself well enough to have the courage to tell my mother who you are to me."

"Why not? Are you ashamed of me?"

Lexa looked up sharply, words seemly caught in her throat and looked back down between the beds and shook her head. "No, it's not that, I..."

"LEXA!" The sing-song voice of her sister echo outside their tent.

Lexa mouthed _I'm sorry_ as Clarke shook her head at the inconvenient interruption and pushed off of the bed.

"We will talk about this later, I promise," Lexa said as she leaned over and tried to kiss her, but Clarke moved back and glared up at her. Clarke shook her head at the lack of explanation. Lexa's face fell along with her shoulders, and she left the tent.

"Where's Clarke? I want to show her my room."

Lexa was about to duck back inside when Clarke walked up to her and quietly whispered. "Do you think you can gather your courage and bring their gifts over?" She didn't wait for an answer and pushed passed her, leaving with Lesta back to her home.

~

Lexa watched as her sister grabbed Clarke's hand, swinging it back forth. Happy to have a new friend after all of this time.

"Jok." _You fool._ When did you become a coward? Lexa stipped out off her coat, tossing it inside her tent and leaving her in only a sleeveless tunic and started removing her braids. Cursing under her breath at the absurd situation she put herself in with her love. She tied her hair back like Lesta's. Better to keep it simple and removed the trappings of her office. Just try and be Lexa, the girl who grew vegetables, took care of cows and lived on a farm. Out of frustration, Lexa kicked at the dirt with the toe of her boot and needed to burn off some stress she foolishly caused.

Lexa grabbed the ax from one of her men and took over the duty of chopping the logs in to smaller pieces for their campfires. Lexa braced herself then swung it over coming down hard, splitting through wood with ease, placing another log on a stump.

_Clarke wants me to show her my courage._

Another log broke into pieces from the next blow, and Lexa set up another one and brought the ax down even harder, sending them flying apart.

_Clarke wouldn't even let me kiss her._

Lexa set up another piece of wood on an old stump and coming down on it with fury. Her men moved away seeing her rage and found other things to do while Heda, burned off some steam.

~

Lesta led Clarke into their modest home, finding not an unkempt shack common among the villages she passed on the way to Polis. No, this home held sturdy furniture, even though well live in, this place was clean.

The wooden floor, covered with furs and held several places designed for comfort. A table to eat and counter to prepare food, an area to relax by a warm fire, after a hard day working in the fields. Even though it was a simple home, it was comfortable. Stacks of newly cut logs lay just to one side. And over the mantel held a large flat stone with various pieces of carved wooden animals on display.

The other side was a kitchen. The stove was ancient, from the old world, cast out of iron and stove pipe that led to through the ceiling. Lexa's father had to be a skilled carpenter. Everything finely constructed. The home surprising supplied with fresh water from a hand pump near a sink. It must be from an underground spring. Clarke recalled from stories she read as a child, understanding that it required no boiling to make it safe to drink. Their home was modern compared to what she has seen from previous villages.

Lesta continued to pull and brought Clarke into her bedroom. Taking a moment to soak in the room. It held two sturdy beds on either side of the small room, and when Lesta sat her bed. Clarke's eyes immediately went to the other. The bed was where Lexa slept as a child. A stuffed toy animal laid against the pillow, waiting for its owner to return. It brought a deep longing for her mate then frowned when remembering she was still pissed off with her.

"Wow, I like your room Lesta." Clarke couldn't help but be drawn to sit on the empty one, in spite of what happened between them. Even though her partner hadn't been there in ages, it was still well cared for as though, maybe one day her family intended her to return.

She heard noise coming through the old glazed window and saw Lexa busy chopping wood. She shook her head, her anger dissipating a bit when she saw Lexa gleaming with sweat, and the muscles in her arms clearly defined at the effort.

"How long have you known my Lexa?" Rosel had followed them into the room and sat down next to Lesta, turning her and started to braid her hair, while Lesta played with wooden toy. Clarke gathered Lexa's stuffed toy to her chest, wrapping her arms around and using as a soft barrier between them.

"Just a few months, it was late last year when we met." Keep it simple. Since Lexa indicated early not to speak of her home in the sky, there was little she could talk about and had to keep everything secretive. It was, she thought, infuriating.

"Where did you live before you met my daughter?"

Hmm, keep it vague. "Our group arrived just to the east of the mountains in the north. We traveled a great distance to join with Lexa's coalition." The complete truth. She just didn't say, Hey, I was born in space and lived there all my life and poof, now we're here on Earth. Maybe, this is why Lexa didn't want her to speak of where she came from, how could they possibly understand?

"Then you became close?" Her mother eyed her face, watching for a reaction.

Clarke answered as looked away and picked at the surface on the comforter, unable to handle the scrutiny, "Not, at first. We had some obstacles to overcome, but we eventually came to an understanding to work together."

Through the window, the sound Lexa chopping wood stopped, and Clarke ached to turn around and see what she was doing and leave Lexa's mother and her awkward questions.

That's when voices rose, carrying through the walls and Rosel's face changed and cursed under her breath and rushed out of the room. Clarke stood and looked out of the window and saw Lexa standing with a man in a heated argument. It wasn't one of her men, and she strained to hear what they were saying. Rosel got to the pair and put herself between them. That's when Lexa put her arms up in frustration then pointed and moved away from them. Now the older people were in a quarrel.

"What the hell have they got themselves into and who is this man?" The more she watched, and how they interacted, it occurred to her that this man had to be Lexa's father. He was at least a head taller with broad shoulders and iron steel gray beard that was at least a foot long. Clarke got angry at the way her father treated Lexa. It enraged her so much that she dashed out of the house and into the fray.

As she approached the group, Lexa looked up from where she was standing and moved to intercept Clarke and pulled them away and down the road and into to a clearing away from everyone.

Speaking softly, saying, "Let them work it out."

Clarke didn't respond and removed Lexa's hand from her arm and walked ahead, still not ready to forgive. It was only a short distance, when the sound of water grew and stopped when they came to a stream, lined with green grass. Soft whispering sounds of nature filled this space and Clarke knew this must be the most beautiful place she had ever seen, except for her camp in the forest. This place was like heaven on Earth.

She sat down on the soft grass, as Lexa joined her by her side, and looked out over the water and didn't speak for a few minutes. The movement of the slight breeze rippled along the surface of the stream. The scent of the plants near the water smelled sweet but held a sharp fragrance. Clarke couldn't identify it, nothing they grew on the Ark, even came close to this odor. It made her think of their medicines they had and wondered if these plants held properties that would be beneficial. On the other side of the stream, lined cattails and a flock of ducks and ducklings quacking and herding their families along its banks. Her eyes followed up, and over the trees, in the distance, a few low hills appeared in the west. They couldn't be more than a hundred feet tall. This land was mostly flat and perfect for farming.

"How did you ever want to leave this place?" Clarke finally broke the silence between them and glanced at her partner.

"I...it was my duty, Clarke."

"It was indeed."

"I'm sorry, for not being honest with my mother about you."

"Can you explain now what is going on?"

Lexa leaned back, placing her hands behind her onto the soft grass. "I honestly forgot what it was like to just be me. A daughter, a sister to Lesta and not the leader of a coalition. I do remember how hurt they were when I told them I was leaving home and now coming back; I see my mother has forgiven me, my father, not so much. And trying to explain who you are to me. What we are to one another, I couldn't find the words."

"Surely they understand about women being together."

"They may, but possibly but no more than that. My people are simple folk, Clarke. They understand the land and what they can see with their own eyes. Telling them that you came from the sky," Lexa huffed out. "They would say I was _koken_." Translating, "Crazy." Twirling her fingers by her head.

"Well, maybe it's time to bring them into the twenty-second century."

"I don't understand what you are saying, Clarke."

"Our place in this history isn't as advanced as before, but the technology still lives on." Lexa still wasn't getting it, so she continued. "Remember my people know how to make their lives better."

"I don't think my family is ready for that Clarke."

"We can do it baby steps, Lexa. We always knew that it would take living together for our people to adjust. The difference, we have to time now to enjoy what is possible for all our futures. Wouldn't you like to see you sister grow up not having to struggle?"

"I don't think she's struggling now Clarke."

"That's not what I meant." Not sure of how to explain. "Wouldn't you like your sister to know of the world?"

~

Lexa contemplated for a moment and moved her hand back when her fingertips brushed against a flat rock. She picked it up and rolled it around in her hand for a moment and then tossed it across the stream, watching as it skipped along, then fell into the water.

She loved it here.

Their lives were simple.

Polis could be dirty at times, loud and filled with too many people. It had always made her uncomfortable. But, putting all of that aside she remained. If she hadn't, she would have never met Clarke, and that possibility rocked her to her core. Her responsibilities also changed how she saw the world. It was more vibrant and with deeply complex problems that her people relied on her having answers. With Clarke's help and guidance, it has been worth it to leave her childhood behind and become the women and the leader she was meant to be.

A hand in hers and she swallowed hard and let Clarke laced their fingers together and squeezed them and glanced over at her. Clarke was radiant in the fading day, the sun had about an hour till it set, and still shined through the brilliant gold of her hair. The light was turning her skin a beautiful tan hue only found in nature.

She wanted to kiss Clarke, but held back and let her girl set the pace. And she waited, Clarke's eyes fell on her lips and gazed up to her eyes, leaning over and brought their mouths together.

Clarke pulled back and had a mischievous look on her face. "You will have to find the time, and yes the courage to tell them who I am to you, sooner or later Lexa."

"I know, I will Clarke, in time." She gazed down at their still connected hands.

Clarke continued, "I mean soon, they're going to be grandparents, and I'm sure that would like to be a part of that."

Lexa brought her face up and tried to make out what she was telling her, as a light went on. "What are you saying, Clarke?" She wanted it to be clear.

"God, you're such an idiot. I had this all planned out, and then I got mad at you for being a jerk. What I'm saying is, I don't want to wait to have a child with you. I've been in contact with my moth..."

Her words were cut off by Lexa's lips against her, and she went with the motion and Lexa pushed her down against the sweet-smelling grass and kissed her deeply. All those angry emotions evaporated like the mist rising on a warm spring morning.

"Sky Girl, you make me so happy, I didn't think it was possible."

"Commander, your joy is what I live for, now if we could just get back to the kissing part, the one in which I forgive you and..."

"Shh, Clarke." Lexa leaned in again and spent the next few minutes repairing the tiny tear in their hurt feelings until they heard a clearing of voice that caused Lexa to look up and into the face of her mother.

"That's more like it, now since you have come to your senses, Lexa will you and Clarke both joined us."

~

As Rosel led them back to her home, Lexa broke away, saying she would be there shortly. Clarke walked Rosel and waited for the older woman to speak first. Having caught Lexa kissing her must have answered her questions.

"So you and Lexa are more than friends, I see."

Clarke decided to be completely honest with her. "I love her with all of my heart, and will do everything in my power to make her happy, Rosel."

"I can see that happiness on her face, every time she looks at you. She was silly to try and hide from me."

"Can you tell me why her father was angry with her?"

Rosel glanced over at Clarke, smiling and said, "It's his way of showing how much he missed her. We all have. If you were apart from her for years, how would you feel?"

Clarke response was immediate, "My heart would break."

"So, you see how it is with us. We raised Lexa and now, we only hear bits and pieces of what goes on in her world."

Clarke swallowed another lump in her throat. Rosel could have shunned them. The pain of not having her daughter with them must have been agonizing. Worry and doubt for her safety, and not being able to do anything about it.

"She is wise and brave. Her people respect her. She couldn't have acomblished all she has, had she not been raised by a caring family."

"You don't have to defend Lexa to me. That child was wild, couldn't keep her clean to save her life. Always climbing into every tree she found, the higher, the better. Always searching for something, looking for what we didn't know. But, seeing you now, I see she has found it."

Clarke's cheeks turned bright red at the compliment and decided to move this conversation to a lighter topic.

"Can I ask you a question, Rosel?"

"Hmm?"

"What are the words to this? Lexa's been humming this for a week now." Clarke hummed the tune and Rosel started to laugh.

"Oh, my I have sung that in years. I'm surprised Lexa remembered."

"Well?"

"As I said before, I couldn't keep her clean."

"Yeah," Clarke was enjoying this more than she should have but waited to find out this mystery. She linked her arm with Rosel as she looked up at the sky trying to recall the words again.

"Ahh, it goes like this."

 _I gazed at the sky and what did I see?_  
_No more light left more me._  
_I splashed in the mud and played in a tree._  
_Now, Mama says it's clean up time for me._

She hummed a few more bars and sound was cheerful and catchy.  
Clarke laughed and hummed along to Rosel singing as they made their way back. They turned the corner to the home, Clarke ran face first into a broad chest and looked up at the man towering over her. He eyed her and Clarke held her ground.

Before she could speak, Lexa was at her side.

"Father, this is my partner, Clarke kom Skaikru."

"Clarke this my father, Toran."

"Pleasure to meet you." Clarke put her hand out, and he didn't take it, but looked toward Lexa and then towards his wife. He shook his head walked away.

Rosel was about to chase after him when Lexa stopped her. "Let me." Lexa set down the box of gifts on their porch and ran after him.

Rosel grabbed Clarke's hand and patted the outside with the other  
one.

"It's best they work this out between them. Toran will understand once he talks to his daughter. Don't be angry with him, Clarke."

"I'm not. Coming here is all my fault. I pushed Lexa to return home to visit after all of this time apart. I just wanted Lexa to see her family again. I pushed for this. Perhaps it wasn't the right time. Maybe she should have come alone."

"Shh, don't say that. It will pass, and you'll see, Toran is a gentle bear. He's more growl than bite."

"I hope so." Clarke worried at her lip, and she watched Lexa catch up to her father and walk down to the stream they just visited.

~

Toran and Lexa sat in silence as the sun was almost gone. Just the last bit of light was lingering, they would have to head back. Lexa had missed her father. His laughter and kind eyes. So strong, but had a weak side when it came to her.

"I'm sorry, Papa."

Toran took in a breath then said, "Five years I wait, Lexa. Five long years."

"I know, I'm sorry I couldn't come sooner."

"Your Mama sometimes cries at night, worrying about you. If you are alive, if you have forgotten us. And little Lesta, she needed a big sister to look after her."

Lexa felt the weight of his words pulling her down."My duty was given to me to rule all my people, Papa."

"But, what of your duty to us, child."

"That's just it. I'm not a child anymore. My responsibilities are to help all of my people. I don't do that to hurt you or ignore you. I could never forget my family."

"But, you come with another who is, what you say a partner?"

"Like you and Mama, I fell in love with her, as she did with me."

"What happened to you?"

"So, much. Last year when Clarke came into my life. We didn't see eye to eye, but we were able to created peace between our people." She heard him make a huff and then she added, "Clarke slew our enemy in the mountain, Papa. When I couldn't."

"How could one so tiny defeat a mountain?"

Lexa lifted her chin and recalled, "She found their weakness and defeated them. My people now call Clarke, Wanheda, Commander of Death."

Toran let out a belly laugh. "That one? I find that hard to believe."

"It is the truth. Clarke killed every last one of them and helped bring peace to our land. The Ice Queen challenged me and my authority and wanted to take Clarke from me. Her strength and cunning won against her deceit and treason."

"This girl, fought the Ice Queen for you?"

"With words, she defeated the Queen, in battle she fought her champion and wone, but Clarke was injured and is still recovering."

He stroked his long beard. "You say, Clarke did this to protect you?"

"Clarke did this for all of our people. I've met many souls since I became Heda and I have never met one such as Clarke, Papa."

"And you say you love her?"

"I dared to let myself feel again. There was another who was taken from me by Azgeda. The Queen killed a girl I loved, and I thought that it would be wise to be alone. Rule our world as best I can. But, as in all things, we can not see, because the light didn't shine on the hidden parts. A gift from the sky came. It brought me, Clarke."

"She came from the sky?" Toran shifted and gazed into her eyes.

"Clarke, along with her people lived in homes in the sky. But, their home was dying and had to a take chance to come back to Earth and find if it was habitable. They didn't know that people survived the dark time. They brought with them knowledge and an eagerness to work with our people, and we have excepted them into my coalition."

"You have been busy my child." Stopping to correct himself. "Heda."

"Papa, please call me Lexa. I will always be that to you."

He swung his large arm around her shoulder and pulled her to his chest and kiss her on her head. "Next time, don't stay away so long, my child."

"I will try Papa."

~

As father and daughter returned from the stream, they found the area animated with campfires and friendly faces. Lexa allowed her warriors to break out the hard liquor and to let off some steam.

They found Clarke and her mother preparing the evening meal inside. Their farm along with growing things, held small birds in pens, currently was eyed by Star, who's attention was soon taken over by Lesta. She had found a scrap of leather and wrap it tightly around itself into to a ball and tossed it across the field.

"So many new faces and the one I want to see the most is standing beside me. I am a lucky man today."

"We all are," Rosel said standing by the stove finishing up there meal.

Toran paused to look at Clarke, and this time he didn't hesitate but walked to her side. "Excuse me for my rudeness from before. It is a pleasure to meet you Wanheda."

"Please call me Clarke," She said as she put her arm out to shake his.

Toran's eyes softened as did his smile and pulled Clarke into a hug.

"Easy, my ribs are still sore, Toran."

"Ah, forgive me. Yes, my daughter told me of your battle with the Queen's champion."

Clarke glanced at Lexa and saw the proud lift of her chin. "I, yes I did do that."

"Come, sit by the fire and tell me how you defeated him."

Clarke sat on a chair next to the fireplace with Toran and corrected him, "It was a woman."

Rosel turned to Lexa. "I've made your favorite today. Roasted fowl and tubers. Do you think Clarke will like it also?"

Lexa turned and leaned against the countertop and peered at her partner as she was waving her arms around. Displaying what she could only guess was the fight she must have played over and over in her head.

"Clarke isn't a picky eater, but she does love to eat."

Rosel smirked at the remark as Lexa caught on to the double meaning and turned her face away from her mother. "I'm going to call Lesta in for dinner, be right back."

Rosel shook her head. "If two have finished your storytelling, please join us."

~

After the evening meal, Lexa joined her father on the porch. The light inside their home, casting familiar memories, as she rocked back in forth and eyed her father. He brought out his whetstone and was giving the knife a new edge. A gift from Polis that Clarke insisted on getting for her father when she couldn't choose which one.

"It's fine craftsmanship, Lexa. Good weight and balance." He said as he held it out and bounced it in his hand.

"I thought you could use a new blade for your carvings. I see you've kept it up."

"Sha. Maybe I should carve one of Clarke's wolf for Lesta. She has become close with this wild creature. She will miss her when you leave."

"If you can get her to stand still for a moment." Lexa thought that her sister would have worn Star out by now. She sat on the ground in front of the wolf and played a game of keep away. With Star running around her in circles as Lesta hid the leather ball away from her. Pawing at the ground and nudging her hand and with Lesta's quick movement, the ball disappeared and reappeared in her other hand.

Lexa took a long drink of her father's mead. She hadn't had a decent drink like this since before she left. The closer you traveled to Polis, honey was often used for other things and not to create alcohol. Ahh, but when it was fermented and made into this beverage, the flavor was richer. Her father spiced with hard fragrant berries that grew along the banks of the stream. It tasted like home.

"Do you miss the old ways, Lexa?"

Lexa closed her eyes, savoring the taste in her mouth, it colored her answer, "Yes and no. I'm reminded being back here, the smell of the newly turned earth after a fresh rain. The open land and how life is teeming all around us." Lexa snorted, "This place doesn't reek of unwashed bodies of Polis. But, I don't miss the early hours."

Toran put his head back in a laugh. "No, I don't suppose you don't like rising before the sun and tending the needs of a cow or chicken. But, your time is your own here."

She could hear the longing in his voice. Remember all the times they had spent together. Birthing new life, and growing food that fed them as well as people in Polis.

They were not wealthy, but the lived an abundant life.

~

Lesta rushed past them into the house and sat between the two women, and tucked her small body against Clarke.

"So, Clarke tell me more about this Ark you lived in."

Clarke picked up Lesta's hand and turned it over and ran a finger along her palm. "Well, it was a structured society, not completely unlike the world here. But, because our resources were limited, we had to conserve everything. From the clothes, we wore to our water. Even our urine was filtered to be used again."

Rosel raised her eyebrows at that. "It must have been a hard life."

"Our people lived under stringent rules; you could be floated for minor infractions."

"What is floated?"

Clarke closed her eyes remembering her father. "If the council votes that you should die, because of a violation of our laws, then you are placed in a chamber that leads to the outside of the Ark. The doors to the outside open and the suction of the vacuum of space pulls you into the void. You are dead, frozen almost instantly. There isn't a body to burn or bury. You just float away into space." Using her hand to demonstrate. Clarke's eyes glazed over.

Rosel covered Clarke's hand with hers. "You lost someone that was close to you, Clarke?"

Clarke sniffed and wiped at her eyes. "My father."

"I am sorry, Clarke."

"My father discovered our home was dying and wanted all of the people of the Ark to know, the council refused to share this information. My father understood he could die, but exposed the truth. It's what brought us to Earth. The council voted to send the juveniles down here to find out if the earth was habitable. We discovered that life was possible, but at the same time, we didn't know that people had survived."

Lesta leaned against Clarke, "And now you're here with us. I'm happy you are Clarke."

"Me too, Lesta." Clarke leaned over and kissed on top of her head. She repeated, "Me, too."

~

Clarke curled around the exhausted wolf, gazing out of the opening to the tent later that evening. After saying their goodnights, Clarke coaxed Lexa to stay with her little sister overnight. A small concession she was willing to sacrifice for the sake of Lexa's family and let them have time alone.

Clarke ran her fingers through Star's thick fur, her companion, and protector for the night as the sounds of the warriors died down to murmuring and let her eyes close, drifting off to sleep when she could no longer stay awake.

It was very late when a hand pulled at the covers, and a body came into contact with her, and she jolted out of sleep.

"Shh. It's just me, Clarke."

"What?" Her voice came out a crackly and sleep-worn, "I thought you were going to stay with Lesta?"

"She's dead to the world, so I thought I would sneak back here to see you. You want me to leave?" Lexa joked.

"Are you kidding, you better get in bed with me."

Lexa chuckled and obeyed her girl, and soon it was a tangle of arms and legs, that where joined with lips and hands. There was an urgency to Lexa as she fixed her naked body over Clarke's thigh and grounded into her.

She started to speak in her language, and Clarke became mesmerized in the tangle of her words of apology, then a whisper of her name into Clarke's ear sent chills down her spine. Now that Lexa was back in her arms, it felt now like they had all the time in the world. Time to explore each other. Not that they hadn't spent hours doing that very thing before. It was that presently, there wasn't an urgency of the world's problems around them, which previously drove the connection between them sometimes at a frantic pace.

What she could feel was time between them slowing down. Clarke had read about this sort of thing growing up, understanding what she was experiencing was what they use to call a holiday, where you left your home and took an adventure someplace. In this instance, it was visiting Lexa's family. Which certainly did count as a vacation for them.

Funny, to be thinking about this as Lexa surged over her. Frantically trying to reach her orgasm. She held her in her hands and wondered if she could convey her touch that there was no rush. We have time now.

"Lexa, I've got you. You don't have to hurry. Let me show you." Lexa's eyes were closed and her body intent on climaxing as Clarke moved her hand up to tip her chin up to get her attention. Kissing her softly and nudging her nose against hers. "Hey?"

She came out of her lust-filled haze and muttered, "Clarke, what's wrong?"

"Not a damn thing." Clarke rolled Lexa onto her back, wanting to slow down the pace, also secretly desiring to take complete control. The bed was narrow, but not small enough that she couldn't move down between her legs, nudging them apart, kneeling to worship Lexa's body.

Sensing with her hands and mouth, Lexa wet and swollen sex desiring her. Clarke pressed her lips softly against her clit in a kiss and swoon into her scent, running her tongue over her swollen bud, when Lexa jerked upward against her mouth, needing more pressure and licked inside.

Lexa groaned a hint she was close, and she bore down a little harder, flicking her tongue quickly over her throbbing clit, as Lexa arched her back, and in a soundless cry, she came, spilling over Clarke's lips and chin.

Clarke's heart grew full at pleasing Lexa. Her pleasure was sharing love, and a measure of happiness Lexa had denied herself. Hands on her shoulders and she went with them as they urged her upward, crawling along her body and leaving wet kisses along the way until their mouths connected.

"I love you, Clarke," Lexa said as Clarke moved back from her lips.  
The wetness now covering her face wasn't from Lexa's sex, it was from her eyes.

"Hey, why are you crying?"

Lexa ran her hands along her back and whispered. "I've got my family back. You did that for me."

"We did that, together Lexa. Now it's time for you to relax. Give yourself some time just to be you."

"I can try." Lexa continued to rub her back as she was content to fall asleep in her arms, but with reluctance, Lexa kissed her cheek and whispered, "I have to leave." A kiss to one ear. "I will miss you." She placed another kiss on her neck. "Sleep well, my love." The last one to her lips.

Lexa slowly put her clothes back on and leaned backward to kiss Clarke one more time, and she pulled the covers tightly around her body and turned over. Satisfied, but a little colder without the heat of her body next to hers.

~

Somewhere in the darkness outside of Clarke's tent, a rooster announced the morning way too early.

Clarke groaned and covered her ears with her pillow. She waited, eyes still shut and hoped the commotion would die down. When the air grew quiet, Clarke drifted back to sleep.

_Cock-a-doodle-do_

"Nooo, too early."

The sun in the shadows and now Lexa's warriors started to complain as the camp stumbled awake making more racket that Clarke couldn't shut out.

"Fuck." Clarke sat up, hair a mess, groggy, slightly confused and remember she wasn't in bed with Lexa in Polis.

Clarke shivered. Pulling the blanket around her shoulders, it was cold as hell and reached under the covers for her shirt, unable to find her bra and hunted for her pants, finding them bunched at her feet. At least they wouldn't be ice cold if she'd left them on the outside of the bed and worked to put them back on.

Clarke combed out her hair and fixed it into a braid and stepped out of the tent and stood in front of the fire warming her hands and saw figures moved inside of the barn.

Maybe Lexa was up and made her way towards the movement. When she stepped inside, the offending noise had come from a large bird, resting on an overhanging rail at the top.

"For the love of everything that is holy, why must you start this before the sun rises."

A loud male laugh from the far side of the room came from Toran holding a light and standing behind Lexa who was sitting on a stool and pulling at the udder of the large black and white cow, filling the bucket up with fresh milk.

When Clarke approached, Lexa turned and squirted her with the milk hitting her square in the face.

"Ack." Clarke spat, wiping the fresh milk off of her face.

"It's good for your complexion Clarke." Lexa smiled and turned to continued to milk the cow.

Clarke couldn't help but laugh. She licked at the moisture, and for the first time in her life, she was tasting milk from a real cow. Not that this animal wasn't unknown to her. She'd seen pictures of the beasts but had yet to see one in person. They must be rare. She knew that at one time on earth they were abundant. Whole industries created around the cow. The one thing in her earth studies that it didn't cover, they were larger than she imagined and wrinkled her nose, very smelly.

Lesta was in one corner pulling out the freshly laid eggs from the half dozen chickens in their coop.

"It's way too early for me for all of this noise." And left them to their morning duties. The laughter faded as she approached the cabin, drawn to the smell coming from inside wafting through the air. Clarke was hit with the most delightful smell ever. Rosel was at the stove, turning over round flatbread. Or what looked to be bread.

"What are those, they smell so good."

"We call them wheat cakes. Please sit, Clarke. Help yourself to tea and honey if you like."

And this is what mornings were like on a farm. You're up before the sun. Nature woke, across fields and forest, the world coming to life as birds started their morning songs.

Lexa and the rest of her family returned and took their places around the large table. "Fine morning we have today," Toran said.

"You say that every day, Papa," Lesta said as she grabbed for a mug and poured hot tea for herself.

"Ah, yes I do. But, this morning I have my family with me, and a new friend."

Lexa helped her mother bring the food to the table, and absentmindedly filling Clarke's plate first with the hot cakes and sliced meat, then served the rest of them.

Clarke leaned over to deeply smell the food. "I can't wait to dig into this."

"Pour some honey over the top," Lesta showed her how and Clarke copied her.

The first bite, Clarke closed her eyes and the warm, sweet cake, the flavors exploded across her taste buds. She couldn't help but make yummy sounds.

"I'm glad you like Clarke." Rosel smiled.

~

The morning sun started its ascent as Lexa, her father and a few of her men joined them at the stream. Setting up a few nets and her father stringing a long pole to hook to fish. They walked down the bank until she found the spot that would always hold a few lazy fish at the bottom and drop her line below.

Her father joined her and sat next to her as the waited.

"When will you head back to Polis?"

"By the middle of next week. We will be leaving to see Clarke's mother."

"Oh, Clarke isn't alone in this world, I'm mean besides you of course."

"No, her mother arrived safely and is their healer and leader. Clarke is also, but our trip is a personal one."

"Can I asked why it is personal?"

"We have decided to take the bonding ritual, and one of our laws forbids an outsider from joining with me if she does not leave her clan."

"That must be a difficult decision for Clarke."

"It would be, but we found a solution to that problem."

Lexa felt that since her father is open to Clarke, might as well tell him the rest.

"Clarke says there is a way." Pausing to find the proper words. "There is a way for me to have a child with her. With their technology Papa."  
When she got the courage, and the heat in her cheeks toned down she dare to look in his directions. The silence between them lingered for a moment as he tried to wrap his mind around what she was saying.

"Do you mean to say, that I would become a grandfather?"

"Yes, and Mama, grandmother."

"The child between Clarke and I will join our clans together to make them stronger. Our daughter will be called the bringer of peace."

"This world is stranger than I could have imagined. If what you say is true, then I will be honored to be a grandfather to your child."

They spent the rest of the morning, talking about old times and the future. Toran for all of his gruffness the day before had dissipated and the father she knew was the same engaging man she grew up with and wanted so much to give them the love that was denied them for so long and sharing a new life between them would be one way she could do this.

~

Clarke was shown how they clean up and how the chores were managed and later she came up with an idea while she was reading a story to Lesta.

It was clear to her that Lesta couldn't read while she looked at the words trying to make out their meaning. Asking her over and again to say the word from the pages and matching the picture to the names.

"Rosel, would you say that in the winter there is less work for you to do?"

"The winter time does make it hard to do most of our chores, but it's mostly tending to our animals. The fields, take care of itself. We spend long days and nights inside when the winter snows come."

"I see. Yes, that makes sense." Clarke would need to talk to Lexa before she would propose the idea of taking Lesta with them for the winter and dropping her off at Arkadia to attend school, then in late spring she could return and continue her work on the farm. Maybe, they could bring a few of their people with her to help them. It was just a seed of an idea, but maybe ease their burden a little.

Loud clomping of footsteps outside announced the return of Lexa and her father. They joined them, with Lexa holding up a string of fish they had caught.

"Keryon blessed us today," Lexa said, handing them over to her mother for cleaning. Clarke nodded in her direction, and they left them to wander back to her tent.

Clarke watched Lexa remove her soiled clothing and reached for a cloth and dunked into the water in the basin next to their bed. Clarke took it from her and began cleaning up partner. She kneeled and started with her legs.

"So, I had an idea." Lexa reached down stopping her and tilted her head up.

"Hmm, Clarke has an idea." Teasing a bit and then let her continue.

"Yes, I noticed that Lesta doesn't know how to read."

"That's uncommon for my people Clarke."

"That may be so, but these books I brought are kind of useless for her. They do have pictures, and she seemed to enjoy learning how to say the words in the book."

"What is your idea, Clarke?"

Clarke was now standing behind her washing her back and arms. "Do you think we could take her to Arkadia and get her into school? Just for a few months. You could leave a few of your men here, well there here anyway. Might as well put them to good use..."

Her words cut off when Lexa turned her around took the cloth from her hands. "That would be an incredible idea, but I doubt my parents would let her leave."

"I thought of that, what if you made seem like their idea."

"You mean to trick them?"

"Not exactly. It would give your parents time alone, maybe a second honeymoon of a sort. Lesta could be around other young people. I asked her, and she doesn't have any friends her age around here. Mostly older people. It wouldn't be forever. They could even visit her."

"Ah, that makes sense." Lexa began likely this idea more and more. And yes it would a trick to get them to agree to it."

"Let me speak with them."

"Really?"

"I will ask, there is no guarantee they will agree. Be prepared for that, and don't hold it against them."

Clarke nodded. "I promise."

~

Lesta was standing with her father and mother. Toran had both of his hands on her shoulders giving her some last minute words of advice. Lesta looked up into his face agreeing she would do her best, and then hugged them both. Toran put his head back and wrapping an arm around Rosel's shoulder. His heart was heavy but knew this would be best for his daughter.

~

Rosel didn't show her disappoint if there was any at all. She had faith in Lexa and Clarke that this would only be for a few months. They wouldn't be alone. Two volunteers from Lexa people agreed to stay with them through the long winter. A mated pair that would give them the company and safety they needed.

Lexa and Clarke spent a few days talking through the plan, and at first, Toran's anger caused him to disappear for half a day. Leaving Rosel alone with the two of them. It was in those first minutes that Lexa and her mother together and Clarke spent to time with Lesta reading to her again from her books in the grassy field under a tree.

It was when from a distance that Toran watched his younger daughter interact with Clarke that something inside of him grew soft, his anger subsided and his heart became a little larger at wanting his daughter to grow up with knowledge in her head, and not just what was before them every day.

Lexa had returned, and so would his other child, this time, it wouldn't be after years of worry.

~

Papa, I take my leave of you. I will send messages from Lesta when they are sent through."

"Lesta will have to teach me how to read them when she returns."

"Ah, yes." Lexa held back the sadness of having to leave them once again.

"We will be fine, Lexa. You've left us with two strong warriors to protect us through the long winter."

"Jon and Macey will help you with whatever you need."

"Of that, I have no doubt."

"Well. Until we meet again, Papa." She swallowed hard a put out her forearm. He shook his head and pulled her into a bear hug, and Lexa wrapped her arms around his body as far as she could reach.

She pulled back. "I will see you soon, I promise."

Lexa pulled her mother into her arms. "Thank you for letting us stay with you and your gracious accommodations."

"Oh, Lexa. You've made very proud. I know now that it was the right decision for you to make those many years ago." Rosel leaned back and up to look at her and held her daughter's face. "Maybe having a small one around will prepare you for when you and Clarke have your own."

Lexa laughed. "I'm sure she will keep us busy."

"Rosel and Toran, thank you for everything," Clarke said as she hugged them both.

"Take care of them for me, Clarke," Toran said.

"I'll do my best."

They mounted their horses, and Lesta sat on one of the spare horses to ride the way back to Polis.

The group started their way back and turned before the forest would block their view and waved goodbye.

"Are you sure you okay with this Toran?"

"I wasn't at first; I will admit that. But, we can't stop the force between those two. It will be good for Lesta to see the world and to learn new things. I would not want her to resent us from denying her these things. For that, I'm willing to sacrifice that for her."

Rosel leaned against his body, comforted in his arm around her.

"You're a good man Toran."

"I think, that I was outnumbered," he said with a smile.


	26. Chapter 26

It had been a long couple of weeks after their group returned to Polis and Lexa was forced to immediately leave after word of a skirmish erupted to the North. It turned out to be something entirely different. A band of rogue warriors within the Azgeda clan had kidnapped a group of Trikru women and children and laid waste to another village.

To say the Lexa was angry was an understatement when they arrived back at Polis with Lesta in tow. Their plans of immediately heading to Arkadia, now delayed until she returned. Clarke would stay behind, and Lexa would travel North and go into battle with her warriors. A message was sent out to King Roan to meet with Heda to resolved the conflict and would be the first test of his new reign.

It would also be a test for Clarke in her place as Arkadia's ambassador for Lexa's thirteen clan. Of course, as her partner, it had benefits, but there was a definite problem, or what she thought at the time. Their relationship became known, and with the loyalty that Heda instilled, some of Lexa's people not only saw Clarke as Wanheda, they saw her as a co-leader to Heda. From Clarke's position, it would not be right, and she immediately called a halt to any reference that would undermine Lexa's rule. They may have been partners, but this was Lexa's domain and their only leader. Until formally bonded, which required getting pregnant with Lexa's child, she remained Heda's niron.

Clarke was also grateful that their not so carefully guarded secret was out and insisted on an agreement between Lexa's people and put in place an understanding that she would make no decisions that were not hers to make. Instead, she asked Lexa's advisor's Calos and Asa to meet with her and start to educate her to their laws.

Clarke spent long days with them going over the many edicts. It was difficult at first with their rulings written in another language and as each law was read out and translated into English, Clarke would copy it down. Both men were yielding with Clarke, politely correcting her pronunciation of their language as she learned their laws and culture.

It was also necessary to keep Lexa's inquisitive sister entertained. One way she found to Lesta keep busy was showing her how to write her ABCs. One evening with Lesta by her side, she drew out each of the letters in cursive in both upper and lower case. The little girl attempted with Clarke's encouragement and learned how to write them out. It was simple lessons for now, but it gave the little girl something to do with her time, and she seemed generally encouraged by the exercise, and at the end of a long day their hands were stained with ink, and both had smudged on cheeks and noses. Through these simple lessons, Clarke grew to love Lexa's sister.

Clarke picked up right away that Lesta preferred her company and let her sleep with her and Star while Lexa was away. Clarke understood that being away from home for the first time, an essentially around total strangers that having her full attention would make her feel safe with all the new changes in her young life. Clarke didn't mind as she learned of their world from the perspective from the eyes of a child and the wisdom of the elders.

Clarke came up with an idea one day and started to put the names of the different items on pieces of paper around Lexa's room to teach Lesta how to identify and spell the words. Lesta, in turn, would tell Clarke the corresponding word in trigedasleng and she would sound it out phonetically and make a copy for her studies.

It was the middle of the third week of Lexa's absence; word came that she would arrive in a day's time. Clarke knew Lexa would return, battle weary and intended to take care of the exhausted woman as they would only have a day or so rest and would head westward to Arkadia.

~

It was late in the evening after Clarke put Lesta and Star in another room for the night when the word came from Lexa's scouts of her impending return and made ready a meal and hot bath.

Clarke fell asleep with a book over her chest and woke to the sounds the familiar echoes of Lexa's footfalls down the hallway, growing restless as the doors of her room open, a rush of air flowed in drawing the weary warrior stumbling into the chamber.

"Let me take care of you," Clarke said as she rushed to her side.

"Wait. Just let me hold you." Lexa leaned into her body, almost asleep when Clarke pulled back and started to strip her of her weapons and heavy protection.

"I...I can do this," Lexa said.

"You can barely lift your arms. Just stand there a let me do this for you."

Clarke detached her weapons, laying them on her work table and remove her mud and bloodstained boots tossing them towards the door. She stood up and kept her eyes on Lexa's face as she unbuckled her belts one by one and pulled off her shirt. Lexa kept her eyes closed and swayed a bit at her movements.

Clarke hurried to strip her of her clothes then led her into the bathroom and helped her step into the tub full of warm soapy water. Lexa cried out as she tried to lift her leg and that's when Clarke saw in the light from the candles surrounding the tub, a large dark purple bruise from her hip to her knee.

"Oh my god, what did you do to your leg?"

Lexa's body slipped under the water with a moan. "Horse," was all she said.

"What about a horse?"

"Fell on me."

Her voice was thick and tired. Clarke wasn't sure if she should have her relive the fight so soon after returning, so she did the best next thing and stripped herself of her clothes and joined her in the large tub. Clarke sat behind Lexa and removing her long tangle of muddy braids and ran her fingers through her long hair freeing them from their bindings.

She pulled Lexa tight to her breast and heard and grateful sigh from her partner and kissed her along her face.

"I missed you niron...wasn't the same being away...I barely slept or..." Lexa's voice trailed off around a yawn.

Clarke kissed her again and said, "I'm going to get you clean up and back into bed. Okay?" She felt a slight movement of her head, and Clarke took that as permission to continue.

Clarke hummed softly under her breath as she rubbed the soap into her hair and she scrubbed the grime and sweat from her long curls. Lexa remained still as Clarke combed sweet smelling oil through her hair.

"Hmm," Lexa sighed, and Clarke knew that it was from the familiar scent wafting through the air. A smell of home and comfort.

Clarke finished washing the rest of her body, careful not to touch the angry bruise. Then stepped out of the tub and quickly dried herself.

"Lexa, time for bed."

The tired warrior's eyes came open to mere slits and slowly sat up, following Clarke's instruction as she helped her stand up and move her out of the tub and toweled her dry and wrapped it around her body. Using another towel, she dried her thick hair best she could and led her back to bed and dressed Lexa in comfortable if worn bedclothes. Once under the covers, Clarke called for a healer.

Lexa's private healer, Obren immediately went to the Commander's side as Clarke lifted the blanket and to showed him the nasty bruise.

"Hmm." He felt around the leg for broken any bones, indicating with a shake of his head, there was none. "The edges show signs that the bruise is a few days old, and already Heda's body is reabsorbing the blood. I can give you an ointment you should massage into her skin, but it would be best if I were to seep a healing tea and make a compress to cool the area. Let me attend to that, and I will return shortly."

"Thank you, Obren."

"Clarke?"

"You can't be awake," Clarke said as one tired green eye came open.

"I'm close to sleep, how are you and Lesta?"

"We're fine. It's you I'm concerned about."

"Injuries are to be expected in battle, but this one was an accident. My horse stumbled and fell over, and I couldn't jump off of him in time."

"Is he okay?"

"I cushioned Draco's blow," Lexa said with a laugh, then groan.

"Well, let's get you healed up and rested."

"Clarke, I'm sure I can be ready to leave tomorrow for your home."

Clarke shook her head. "How about compromising with me, and give yourself a couple of days of rest?" Lexa weary smile was her answer.

~

Lesta's excitement grew as they got closer to Clarke's home in Arkadia. Her palm passed over the lush green bushes surrounding the area, and the other held onto Clarke's hand as she led her through the fields, crossing inside the metal gate and walked to the massive structure of the Ark. Today would be her first day in a real school. Clarke explained they are using what she called a storage room for their classroom until they built a proper one and introduced to her to Charlie, one of Clarke's old instructors from the Ark.

Lesta was scared at first, lurking behind Clarke when all of the other children looked in her direction. One girl in the back looked like her people, and Lesta smiled at her and recognized that her skin showed she spent time outdoors not like the paler skin of Ark's children.

Clarke leaned over her and whispered before she left, "Remember what we've already learned. Don't be afraid to speak up and ask questions if you don't understand right away. Have fun, and I'll see you later."

"You can sit with me," The girl stated in gongasleng, then said in trigedasleng, "Ai laik Nara. I'm Azgeda."

Lesta brightly said, "My name is Lesta. I'm Trikru."

The teacher handed Lesta a writing slate and piece of chalk. "Until we have a permanent way of writing things down, will use these instead." He also handed her a dog-eared book and wrote out something on a piece of stiff paper and set it in front of her. Lesta turned it around and saw her name. Clarke had written it out for her before, and she recognizes it immediately. That's when she noticed that they all the other children had their names in front of them. She couldn't read what they said yet, but maybe soon she would learn.

Nara leaned over as Lesta tried to make out the words on the book in her hands. "It says, English primer. It's how I learned to read, and you will too, I'll help you."

"Thank you, Nara."

Lesta followed along as Nara opened the book to the first page and the teacher called out for one of the boys in the front to read the first paragraph.

~

"You're going to feel a slight stick on your arm, please hold still," Abby instructed Lexa.

Lexa kept her eyes on Abby and watched as she took her blood for testing. The lurid red blood filled the tube quickly, and Abby withdrew the needle and applied a small bandage to the site. "Since you'll be the donor, I'll be taking your skin cells for harvesting. Do you mind if I take from the inside of your forearm, Lexa." She nodded, and Abby carefully cleaned the area and took a plug of skin from her arm, no bigger than the size of a bug bite, then applied another bandaged to that site as well.

"Your next sweetie." Clarke knew the routine and rolled up her sleeves, and she wiped the area clean of germs.

"I'll check your vitals, and in a day or so, we will do the ova extraction, and I'll begin the process to join the healthy cells. Clarke, you should be ready to receive the fertilized egg when your body starts your cycle again. I will do daily checks to see when you are ready."

"And that's it for now?" Clarke asked.

"For now, it's out of nature's hand for the moment. It's up to our technology. I will do my best for both of you."

"Thank you, Abby, for all of your help," Lexa said.

"I hope we'll have luck the first go at it. Please be patient if it doesn't work the first time, please understand I'll be extracting more than one egg from you Clarke, so you won't have to do this procedure again. Be back tomorrow at the same time and will start the process7. Okay?"

"You got it. One more thing," Clarke said.

"What's that?"

"We brought Lexa's sister, Lesta with us and set her up in school for the next few months through winter as I told you over the radio."

"I've already got a bunk set up in my room. Bring Lesta by a introduce her. It will be fun to have a young one around again. You know they do grow up so fast." Looking at her daughter still amazed at what's was able to do in such a short time on Earth.

"I'll bring her by after school, Thanks again, Mom."

~

The visit wasn't just to get Clarke pregnant. It was also the time iron out some minor disputes, now that they were officially a part of Lexa's coalition.

Lexa indicated for Kane to began, "Thank you, Heda. I've been working with Indra and the surrounding Trikru people, establishing the borders for our area. So far, we haven't had any conflicts, but some of your people in the far corner of one of our fields have objected that their animals can not graze in that area. We've tried to bargain with them, and they haven't been receptive to our many offerings."

"I will speak to their leader. What is their name?"

"Karon. He has objected to us encroaching on his land."

"I see. Perhaps compensations for Karon's land with a promise of five containers of your goods once they come into harvest with an understanding that from that time forward, this land will become known as Skaikru, would that be agreeable?"

"Wait a minute. What about our people, we will be doing all of the work and giving away our food?" Jaha said.

"Do you think that taking a man's land requires that you don't sacrifice a little to make what you're doing, in the long run, worthwhile? He is only one man in a small village, Jaha. It will give Karon a sense of pride and standing with his people if you let him think that he has won the day, you will have succeeded. You must understand to prosper by offering containers of food can bring you trust and friendship among my people. And know this, I can not favor one clan over the other."

"Wise words," Clarke said. "Listen, if this is the worst you've had to deal with, I would say it's a win for us. What about Mount Weather, isn't there also room to grow vegetables in the winter? Surely that will sustain all of you and maybe help out the local people. They must run out of food deep in winter. You could make better neighbors if you share."

Abby answered, "Mount Weather's greenhouses are larger than we expected."

"Have you thought to asked Trikru to work with you?" Clarke asked.

"What do you mean?" Kane said.

"Why don't you offer work to her people, lessen your load? Would that be okay, Lexa?"

"Having my people, who are willing to learn from your people a skill of farming? Hmm, if Skaikru is prepared to teach my people, I'm sure that we could find some willing hands. Are we in agreement?"

After a few moments of private discussion, they all agreed to this plan.

"Excellent, let me speak with Karon and then bring you together to work out the details."

"Thank you, Lexa," Abby said.

~

Abby waited to speak her mind after Clarke and Lexa left. "It's not easy that we have some of the decision out our hands. But, we're better off with agreeing to some of these demands now, that may give us more say in the future."

"I agree with Abby. It's not that much we will be giving up. That land is vital to the area we want to grow our first crop," Kane said.

Jaha leaned back in his chair, clearly frustrated. "We've sacrificed so much. Why does it seem we have to give before we receive?"

Abby rolled her eyes Jaha, tired of his continuing complaining now that he was no longer in control. "Simple, we're newcomers, hell invaders by their measure. They could have wiped us all out, no questions. Let's enjoy this new alliance in peace. Work with what we have and grow into a thriving community. Now, let's work out the layout for our new homes."

~

Clarke and Lexa stepped out of the Ark's central operation and into the land around the broken vessel. Observing Skaikru people mapping the area into a grid, marking spots where new homes would sit. Some of their fences came down, and they could spread out now that the threat was gone.

Skaikru's numbers from the kid's dropship and the remaining Ark was just barely five hundred out of the nearly three thousand that lived in space. Clarke had learned this information from her mother when they had settled into a routine, and their numbers were confirmed.

Light snow started to fall and collect on the ground as Clarke stood in place looking up into the sky at this new wonder. "Snows come late this year," Lexa said. "Our seasons are unpredictable."

"Why do you think that is, Lexa?" Holding out her hand to catch a falling snowflake.

"My people would say it's curse, but I welcome any moisture."

"From space, we used to see a lot of atmospheric clouds over the earth. It was hard to tell what was exactly happening on the ground so high in space."

"You could see this land from there?"

"Hmm, not clearly no, just large artifacts. Like mountains, streams and the oceans. Sometimes I think we saw large fires covering some areas. They had to be huge from what we could see."

"It is hard to wrap my mind around the size of things, being only able to see with my eyes the land on which we walk."

"I'll have to find a globe of the Earth somewhere and show you where we are on it to give you an idea how big objects really are, Lexa."

"I would enjoy learning these new things with you, Clarke."

Clarke waited and watched as Lexa took in the Ark and her people going about their work. When she wasn't looking at Clarke, she scooped up and a handful of snow, packing it into a ball and when Lexa turned to say something, hit her square in the face with the snowball.

"Clarke!" She said as she wiped the snow from her face.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself. I've always wanted to do that." Clarke tried to duck, but Lexa was quicker and threw an icy ball back at her landing on her chest. "Ooh, that's cold. Okay, truce Heda." Holding her hands up in defeat.

Clarke took Lexa's icy hands in hers and led her back inside the Ark after the snow started to fall in earnest. Lexa didn't shy away from the open gesture, and her partner completely ignored those that choose to stare longer than was polite to do so. Clarke grew tickled when she saw the slight tinge of red working its way to Lexa's ears.

"Let's see what Raven's been up too."

"Lead the way, Clarke."

~

Raven was hunched over her workstation, repairing something odd object as always. The room held a cozy if mechanical vibe with Raven giving her touch of comfort with an unmade bed next to what looked like a second home for her.

She put her fingers to her lips to keep Lexa quiet as she crept up behind Raven and covered her eyes as she deepened her voice and uttered, "Guess who?"

"Hey you," Raven said and didn't startle at first then leaned back against Clarke's breasts causing her to jump. "The fuck?" Clarke laughed as Raven turned around. "Griffin! I thought that felt different. God, you scared me for a second."

"Sorry about that I couldn't resist. What are you working on?"

"Good to see you both and to answer your question, Wick and my crew," Raven said as she patted herself on the back. "I've got a crew now. We've been repairing the damage to the generators that I blew up. We finally got the second working, and I'm going over the numbers to see if we should leave the rest for spare parts. We were lucky that Mount Weather was stocked, so it's making repairs easier."

"That's good to hear."

"You want to know what else is crazy? A few of our people prefer to stay at Mount Weather. I think that they are so conditioned to living inside a tin can like the Ark, that living out in the open is frightening to them."

"What about you, adjusting okay?"

"Me, the youngest Zero-G Mechanic in 52 years. I'm home anywhere, and I'm dating."

"Who's the lucky guy?"

"I dumped Wick. It seems he couldn't keep his hands to his self and then I met a girl from the local village. I'm training her to work with me."

"But, I thought you were..."

"Me too, I guess I swing both ways now, ACDC, so they say in the electrical parlance."

"What is her name?" Lexa asked.

Raven's face grew animated when she said her name, "Kai kom sexy ass girlfriend."

Clarke chuckled as Lexa asked, "Kai? Anya's sister?"

"I don't know who her sister is, but she showed up here one day, pretty bang up. Abby repaired the damage, and she stuck around then she started to get under my feet, and one thing led to another, and here she is now." Motioning to the woman just entering her workshop.

As Kai walked into the room and at seeing the Commander, went down on one knee and bowed her head. "Heda Leska."

Clarke saw double. Kai uncannily resembled Anya with her thin but muscular build. Her dark hair streaked with blond, but was longer and pulled back into a single, thick braid, and wore a braided headband made out of tan leather.

"My old friend, I am pleased to see you again." Lexa clasped her forearm, helping her up."

"Sha, Heda. Much time has passed between our meeting. I see you know my Raven." More of a statement than a question.

"Of course." Lexa tipped her head in Raven's direction then turned to Clarke. "I would like you to introduce my mate, Clarke kom Skaikru."

"Pleasure to meet you, Kai."

"Clarke? I also have heard of you. You are the famous warrior, Wanheda. The Conqueror of the mountain."

Clarke's cheeks took on a glow. "Yes, it's what they call me."

"Then you also knew my sister, Anya?" Kai said solemnly.

Clarke could hide the stutter in her voice as she explained, "I...I did. We helped each other escaped the mountain and were on our way to see the Commander and inform her of what the mountain men were doing to our people. I was with her when she died." Lexa pulled Clarke close, sensing their shared grief. Of all of the deaths, since the drop kids arrived on earth, this was the one most unfair. After nearly beating each other to death, escaping the mountain and finally coming to an agreement and fight the Mount Weather together, Anya was senselessly shot to death by one of her people.

"It was unfortunate, and I grieve for her, but a warrior's life is hard Clarke," Kai said and pulled Raven close and wrapped her arms around her waist. "But, Keryon blessed me with Raven. She keeps me busy, day and night."

"God, we're awful sickly sweet. I think I'm going to gag." Raven kidded but turned into Kai's embrace.

"Since we're going to be around for a while, why don't the two of you join us for dinner in our room. Lexa brought some delicious honey mead that her father makes," Clarke said.

"Sounds like a plan. After we get finished on repairing these parts for Mount Weather, will swing by."

As they turned to leave, Clarke looked over her shoulder and saw Raven madly making out with Kai and raised her thumb so Clarke could see then pulled the woman closer, if it was humanly possible.

"Well, that was unexpected. Is that what we look like?" Clarke asked.

Lexa smiled. "I think we are worst, but only in the best possible way my love."

~

"Please, can I go see Nara's room? My new friend said that her sister, Echo could watch us if I got permission," Lesta pleaded.

Clarke gave her wink and pursing her lips at Lexa's little sister's request. Lexa didn't object but still wanted Lesta to be safe. Nara and sister were, after all, still Azgeda.

"I will accompany you to their quarters and speak with Echo," Lexa said firmly and quickly followed Lesta as she dashed out of their quarters. It was apparent as they made their way around the Ark, that Lesta might have already visited because she led her directly to her room. Lesta knocked on the door, and Echo answered, surprised to see the leader of their people standing just outside her door.

"May we come in?"

Echo inclined her head. "Oh, yes, please come in, Heda. May I introduce you to my sister, Nara." Nara also bowed her head out of respect and drew Lesta to her side of the room.

Lexa looked around the room and saw that they had settled nicely but for a few clothes lying around which by the size appeared to be from a man. Echo quickly picked up a shirt and pair of socks and tossed them behind a chair.

"Sorry about the mess, Bellamy sometimes spends time with us. He's become a good friend."

"I just wanted to make sure that Lesta isn't a bother if you've got other plans."

"It's not a bother at all. Bellamy will be here soon and will watch them together. I give you my word, that Lesta is safe with me, Heda."

Lexa studied the woman and decided to trust her after her assistance with the Queen. "I would also like to thank you both for providing the information on Queen Nia and her crimes. It could not have been easy in your position as Azgeda."

Echo lifted her chin. "It was time, that our people had a new leader, Heda."

"Ah, yes. Well, then I will leave you. Maybe we can return the favor for you and your friend, while we are visiting."

Echo seemed surprised and relieved. "That would be...yes, Thank you, Heda."

Lexa motion Lesta to her side and put her hands on her shoulders and leaned over and said, "Lesta, please be good and listen to Echo. I will return in a couple of hours after your visit is over."

Lesta could barely contain her excitement and repeated, "I promise to be good, Lexa."

~

"So, Clarke had this harebrained idea that she could fit her whole fist inside of her mouth. We were all so waste and kept egging her on, then she started gagging and threw up all over Jasper." Raven snorted when she finished which caused both of the sky girls to erupt in laughter.

Clarke was on her side laughing at the stupid crap they pulled when they first got down to earth. Lexa shook her head and held onto Clarke keep her from falling off the bed.

"What about the time you thought you could put your leg around your neck. I'm mean I know you're limber, but you nearly dislocated your hip."

"It seemed like a good idea at the time. I was walking funny after that for a week." Raven said with a frown.

"What have we gotten ourselves into Heda?" Kai joked.

"I wouldn't change Clarke for anything." Lexa's eyes were glazed over, obviously drunk and relaxed.

"Oh you guys are so sappy, but that's what I love that about you." Raven was feeling Toran's mead and laid over Kai like she was her puppy.

"I wish I would have brought this up earlier when we were sober." Clarke hiccupped and looked crosseyed over at Lexa and back to Raven.  
"But I'd like you both to be with us when my mom does our procedure." She could barely get the last word out, slurring most of the sentence.

Raven blinked. "I still don't get how that works, hey but more power to you. So, would that make me her aunt, or what?"

"How about Godparents?"

"I love it, sign me up. What about you, partner?"

"I would be honored, Clarke and Lexa." Kai had drunk as much as the rest but kept her composure as normal as possible, and it must have amused Clarke when she couldn't resist reaching over trying to tickle her.

"Ah, ah, ah Clarke, hands to yourself. Gently pushing her hands away and back into Lexa's arms.

Raven swayed. "Whoa, the ground is moving. I think it's time to go to bed," and tried to sit upright.

"I've got you, my love." Kai lifted Raven in her arms and began to leave their room.

Clarke called over, "Make sure she drinks plenty of water and put a bucket by her bed. Just in case."

"Thank you both, have a pleasant evening." Kai almost made it out of the door but nearly dropped Raven in the process. More giggles and laughter followed them down the hallway.

"Kai can hold her liquor," Clarke drawled now on her back. Lexa helped her out of her clothes and into bed before she fetched Lesta. Clarke quietly watched as she pulled her pants off. Her boots had already left her feet earlier in the evening. Then took her shirt and removed bindings from around her breast and slipped a clean shirt over her head.

"Make sure you drink enough water yourself, Clarke," she said placing a full glass of water by their bed. "I'll return with Lesta."

"You do that, and I'll keep your side of the bed warm for you." Clarke's eyes were closed, and she tucked her face into Lexa's pillow a mumbled a happy, "I love Lexa Heda." Then giggled. Lexa sighed and shook her head. Understanding that this was what it was live an almost normal life. Not as Heda, Commander of the thirteen clans, but as a young woman in love with her girl.

~

They were on the fifth full day at Arkadia, and everything was falling into place so perfectly that Clarke was worried, that something was going to screw it up. To say she was nervous, didn't understand what that word meant. She was petrified that in just a few minutes Lexa would place inside of her, their future baby. The procedure went smoothly, her egg was fertilized with Lexa contribution and grew into a few cells signaling that they were healthy and viable. Her body reacted to the hormone injections to stimulate her cycle, and now she watched as her mother gazed into the microscope at the possible new life. Just a little bit of matter that held in it so much happiness, that tears formed in her eyes.

"Give me a minute." Abby stepped away from them as Lexa looked down at Clarke.

"How are you feeling Clarke?"

"Nervous, how about you?"

"Happy and also nervous."

After Abby had composed herself, she went to Clarke's side.

"Everything looks healthy. After we complete this next step, I want you back into your room for the next twenty-four hours, and on your back. No more liquor for you young lady, relax and give your body time to accept this new life. After the first day, you can do light work, nothing strenuous. We won't know if it will take for a least a week, maybe longer, or unless you start to bleed, then we will know it didn't work. But, let's cross that bridge when we get there."

"We're ready, mom."

Lexa waited by Clarke's side and watched as her mother placed the device inside her. Clarke winced as the foreign object was pushed inside her cervix.

"Okay, I have the device ready and all you have to do to push the plunger slowly all the way to the end. Once it's seated, you can remove it from Clarke, but gently. I'll be on the other side of the curtain, to give you both some privacy. Let me know when you're finished." Abby pulled a curtain to shield them from view and moved to stand with Raven and Kia as their witness.

"Thanks, Mom." Clarke held her breath and then looked up at Lexa's pensive, but determined face.

Lexa quietly whisper so that only Clarke could hear her words, "Clarke, I have joined with you any many ways, with my heart, my body, and soul. Now, we will unite in a way that I never thought was possible. You have brought me joy that I thought could only be the dream of a fool, and now I see now how wrong I was. I love you, Clarke." With a lift of her eyebrows, asking if she was ready, Clarke moved her hand between her legs to hold the device still, while Lexa pushed the plunger until it was completely seated and Clarke gasp at the sensation. Lexa held her gazed for a moment, as Clarke's heart pleaded to make this work, and after a moment she redrew the instrument. She blinked her eyes up into Lexa's and saw a single tear fall from her eye and gently moved it up to wipe it away and cup her cheek.

Clarke's mind raced, imagining about being pregnant, her belly swelling and the pride in Lexa face as she moved to listen to her daughter's heartbeat. The joy in her soul as she gave birth to a new life and Lexa holding their child for the first time.

She held her gaze until a quiet clearing of her mother's throat brought them back to earth. She moved the curtain away and stepped to Clarke's side.

"That was beautiful." Raven was crying and blew her nose. Kai put her hand on her shoulder to comfort her. Her tears lasted for only a moment until she quickly wiped it away and started to joke, "So, do we have to sign something or what?"

"Give me a minute," Abby said moving passed them and pulled Clarke's feet out of the stirrups adjusting her gown down. "I want you to stay here for half an hour, then off to bed with you and remember my instructions. I'll come to see you in the evening to check up on you."

~

Lexa helped Clarke back into bed and brought her reading materials and her sketchbook, even though the hour was early she was feeling antsy and having to move as she gazed around the room and then back to Clarke's eyes.

"You don't have to stay with me. I'll be okay if you want to hang out with Kai today."

"Are you sure Clarke?" Lexa was restless and needed to blow off the energy that this event had charged inside of her.

"Absolutely. Just come back for lunch. Star will keep me company while you're go..." Her words, cut off when Lexa kissed her and pulled her close to her body. Then her eyes went open and hesitated.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't be so rough with you."

"You're hardly rough, but I can see you can't stay still. Go on have some fun. I'll be fine."

Lexa grabbed her sword and headed outside, but not without a look towards Clarke. "I'll be back soon."

~

Lexa and Kai spent the late morning sparring just outside of Arkadia away from the main building until it drew onlookers taking bets on who would win until Lexa tossed a spare blade to one of the men asking him if we would like to practice with them.

Lexa had exhausted the pent-up energy and moved from the main group for Kai to train when Lesta approached her and left her new friend, Nara to play with the other children.

"Are you finished with class today at this early hour?"

Lesta turned around in a circle saying, "Teacher lets up have breaks and calls the time we spend outside _recess_. I love it. Do you know what tomorrow is?"

Lexa smiled and put out her hand to stop her spinning. "I have no idea, what is tomorrow?"

"Mr. Charlie is teaching all about old Earth customs, and tomorrow is Valentine's day. It always falls on the fourteen of February." Lesta leaned over to speak as if it was a secret and continued, "That's the month we are in now." Lesta crossed her arms like Lexa, confident in the new knowledge that swam in her head. Seemly wanting to share all the things that had learned with her big sister.

Lexa knew of the months and years and kept reports dated with their timekeeper. Usually, only a rough timeline of records. The events throughout the years were relevant, and they also kept track of the seasons for planting. Days and their significant importance were relegated to the old ways and soon dropped its appearance in their daily lives.

"What is Valentine's day, Lesta."

"Well, it's for giving a gift to your sweetheart, someone you love, a Valentine's heart. Here let me show you." Lesta pulled a piece of paper out her pocket and had drawn its odd shape, but then soon recognized it.

"Ah, yes I have seen this in pictures in the books, you say it's tomorrow?"

"Uh-huh." Lesta reached up and pulled Lexa down so she could whisper into her ear. "I want Nara to be my sweetheart, but our teacher said we have to give hearts to all of our classmates, but I'm going to make hers bigger. She's my best friend now."

Lexa smiled as she straightened and looked over at her new friend. "Well, your teacher is correct to share with everyone. But, I'm sure it's okay to favor some you like that is special to you."

"What are you going to give Clarke?"

Lexa blinked with the sudden knowledge she needed to show Clarke she too was her sweetheart but was unsure of the custom and the simple piece of paper seemed insufficient. "What am I suppose to give Clarke?"

"Well, you give your heart, maybe something sweet to eat and of course pretty flowers."

That's when Lexa noticed the other sky couples in the camp. She recognized the looks of devotion when one girl picked a flower bravely poking out of the snow and gave to her friend as she placed a shy kiss on her cheek.

Lexa looked around the camp and knew she needed to make this day special for Clarke. She needed to leave Arkadia, without Clarke's knowledge of what she was up to. There weren't any flowers around, and sweet candy wasn't available, Clarke already has her heart. Maybe...she got an idea and decided to leave the camp after Lesta, and her friends went back inside to finished their class.

"Kai, will you accompany me to your village?"

"Sha, is there something wrong Heda?"

"Don't you know what tomorrow is?"

Kai mounted her horse and pulled alongside Lexa. "It just another day, why?"

"It's a special day for your sweetheart, or so Lesta told me."

"Have you gone weak in your head?" Kai smiled at her friend. "Is knowing that the possibility of having a child is softening our Heda?"

"You didn't say that when I had you pinned to the ground earlier, should I show you again, Kai?"

Kai held her hands up. "Just an observation is all. Clarke has you wrapped around her little finger." She wiggled hers in front of Lexa, and she batted them away. "I'm sure that's not all she has wrapped around them." Then with a look and laugh, she kicked at her horse and galloped away from her, with Lexa kicking at her horse to catch up.

~

Lexa missed her lunch she promised with Clarke and Lesta had yet to return her room. She called Raven on the intercom, and she brought her a meal and hung awhile. Talking about her new friend, Kai, trying not to let it bother her the Lexa failed to return.

"So, you and Kai?"

"Yeah, me and Kai. That came out of left field for me. I wasn't really all that interested in dating again after I broke it off with Wick. He was nosing around a few other girls, and I don't have time for that."

"Are you getting serious with her?" Clarke was curious to find out if all Trikru women were like Lexa.

"I'd say we're in our honeymoon period. Lots of sex, I mean a LOT of sex, Clarke, and I don't have to worry about getting pregnant." Raven cringed. "Sorry, that came out wrong."

"No problem, but T.M.I., I do get what you're saying." Clarke remembered their first days together, and she was right, it hard to not be touching Lexa every second, when they first admitted their love for one another.

"So, this is the real deal with you and the Commander? You'll be staying with her in Polis most of the time?"

"Yes, it's the real deal with Lexa and as far as staying with her. My place is by her side."

"I can't blame you. I guess you have people waiting on you all the time, that's got to be a pretty sweet deal."

"It's not necessary like that. Yes, we have people doing most of our stuff, but they're compensated for their time, just like anybody else, I suppose."

"But, what will you be doing?"

"Besides being Arkadia's ambassador, I'm going to pick up my mother's work and become a healer. Maybe, in my free time start drawing again. But, if this works and I get pregnant, I will be focused on that for a while."

"I hear you."

"Say, you didn't happen to see Lexa around?"

"I think they headed over to Kai's village earlier today. Why is something up with you two?"

"Oh, nothing like that. It's just that Lexa said she would be back for lunch and now you're telling me she left camp. Maybe I shouldn't be worried, but it's not like her to forget about something, even as minor as just having lunch with me."

"Don't let your hormones go all wacky on you. Lexa probably had to settle a goat dispute or some other silly thing with her people."

"They're our people too, but yeah, you're probably right. I don't know about the hormone stuff. I feel pretty normal. I'm not even tired, but I haven't done anything all day, just getting a little bored."

"You want me to check and see if there back?"

"Would you mind?"

Raven rested her hand on Clarke's blanket-covered knees. "No problem." As she opened the door to leave, Star ran inside and to Clarke's side.

"Hey, you." Clarke padded a spot next to her. Star jumped on the bed and moved around in circles until she settled into a tight ball with her nose covered with her long fur covered tail, and two blue eyes staring up at Raven. "Star can keep me company for now. I guess you have to get back to work?"

"Yeah." Raven turned before she left and said with a pensive smile, "I'm sure Lexa will return soon, Clarke."

~

The sun had set hours ago with Lexa cursing under her breath and urging Draco to move faster, back to Arkadia with Kai trailing behind her. The trip had taken a lot longer than she expected and missed lunch with Clarke and dinner as well. It took her all day to find what she was looking for, and the craftsman to design the piece and hoped that she could somehow make up for being late.

The light from Arkadia filled the forest surrounding the place and charged her heart to move faster until she made it to the gate and dismounted. She removed a pack from Draco's rump and indicated to a warrior, "Please take care of Draco," and handed his reins over to him. Not waiting for an answer as she rushed inside the metal structure, slowing down as not to cause alarm to the mingling Skaikru.

Raven was leaving her workshop and stopped her in the hallway. "You better have a damn good reason for being late," she said poking Lexa in her chest.

Raven irritated Lexa and needed to get past her, and to Clarke side, and every moment she stood with her friend berating her was causing her to lose time.

"I had to make a trip, I didn't realize it would take as long as it did, and yes I had a damn good reason, Raven."

"Okay, but she's not too happy with you right now. That's your only warning."

Lexa gritted her teeth and said as politely as could, "I appreciate your concern. Now can I please see Clarke?"

"Be my guest. But, I'm watching you." Raven put her two fingers to her eyes and then back at Lexa as a warning. Kai looked over Raven's shoulder to Lexa and shook her head and took Raven's hand pulling her down the hallway before Lexa did something she would regret.

Lexa knocked on the door then opened it, not sure what she should expect. Hoping that nothing would go flying at her head.

"Clarke, I'm so sorry for being late I..."

Clarke was sitting up reading to Lesta, and she didn't stop what she was doing until she came to the end of the chapter. Lexa quietly walked into the room and put her stuff down, looking around the room trying to avoid looking in her direction.

"I see you made it back, okay. Did something come up?" Clarke was too calm.

"I needed to visit Kai's village."

Clarke's eyebrows went up, the universal signal to continue.

"I haven't eaten yet, do you mind if I..."

"No, I wouldn't want you to starved to death, like I did when you didn't show up for lunch today."

 _Jok._ "Yes, you're right I should have let you know before I left."

"Well, I hope you resolved whatever it was. I left your dinner over on the table. It's under the cover, but it's probably cold by now."

"Lesta wouldn't you mind visiting your friend while I speak with Clarke?"

"Really?" Lesta said as she hopped off of the bed and slipped her boots and before she left Clarke called out for to be back in an hour.  
She only has an hour to fix this with Clarke. "I promise, what I did will be worth it, you've got to trust me on this Clarke."

"Why the big mystery?"

"Can I wait to show you tomorrow?" Lexa said hopefully.

Clarke let out a sigh. "I suppose so, but I don't understand..." Lexa moved to her side and pulled her into a hug and then looking into her eyes, asking for permission, she dipped her head down and gently kissed Clarke on her lips. Her arms came up to pull Lexa closer. Clarke's hurt feelings seemly to be over, and Lexa wasn't going to let this opportunity for Clarke to continued to think things that didn't happen and keep her angry with her.

"How are you feeling?"

"Bored and tired of sitting around all day."

"I'll make it up to you tomorrow."

Clarke ran her fingers through her messy hair and said, "You better, now go eat."

~

Lexa peaked over at Clarke laying next to her making sure she was still asleep, then quietly slipped out of bed and got Lesta ready for school, instructing Lesta to be as quiet as she could and not wake up her partner.

Lesta eyed Clarke and nodded her head and got dressed and left to find her friend and have breakfast with her. Lexa followed along taking Star outside and then back to their mess hall.

She politely asked if a special meal could be made for Clarke and handed the cook some eggs she had kept cool in her pack along with some smoked meat, tous, and honey.

The room filled with Skaikru, curious at the request she made to Skaikru cook, some smiled at her thoughtfulness and let her pass in front as though she belonged with them. Their quiet acceptance of her relieved the tension of being around so many strange faces. But, in time these would become normal between them.

"So, you've planned a special day for Clarke?" Kai bumped up against Lexa's side. Looking over the tray of food being served up to her.

"That is correct." Not want to expose her heart so openly, but was failing as each item was placed on the tray next to a small bundle of flowers.

"I would say that you are soft, but knowing how difficult it has been for you in the past, you show great strength to let yourself feel again."

"Sha, but with Clarke, she gave me to courage, and for that, I am grateful not be in fear of what we have between us. Evidently, you feel the same about Raven."

"My feeling for Raven runs deep. She is challenging me in ways, that makes every day waking up beside her, a pleasure."

Tray in hand, they left to mess hall and with one final word, "Enjoy your day with Raven, my friend."

"You as well, Heda."

~

When Lexa returned to their room, she found Clarke bending over by her waist and when she looked up tears were covering her face.

"I need my mom; I think somethings wrong." Lexa's heart sank and placed the tray on the table and went to her side.

"Are you sure?"

"I don't know."

Lexa's face when grim and rush out to find her mother. She knew the way by rote, passing Skaikru people without knowledging their morning hellos and kept her head down a prayed to Keryon, that this just a mistake, that somehow they didn't lose this new life so soon. Never having a chance to grow. _No, don't go there_. As she stepped into Abby's medical bay and the look on her face needed no words, and she pushed past Lexa and hurried to Clarke's room, with Lexa running behind her.

They were back in their room, and Abby rushed to her side. "What happened?"

"There was few spots of blood in my underwear this morning."

"Was it bright red, Clarke?"

"No, but I think I started my cycle." Her tears began to flow in earnest.

"Shh, no you didn't. I sorry, I forgot to mention that this is normal, only if it continues flowing should you have concerns. It was because of the procedure, honey, nothing more. Please don't be worried."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. Listen, you'll probably also experience some cramping, and a little blood is common."

Clarke's crying and sniffling slowed down and Lexa who had been quiet this entire time went to her side and pulled her close.

"Everything will be okay?" Abby nodded her head.

"Try not to let this make you bother too much, okay?" Her mother said. "This is only the first day. I know you can't help but to be worried, I know I was when I first discovered I was pregnant with you. I worried all the time, but you turn out fine."

Clarke's body relaxed into Lexa's arms as she rocked her. "I'll try, sorry for waking you so early."

"I was already up. Let me know if anything changes." Abby left them, and Lexa let out her breath. Her pulse was racing, and she felt her tears trying to break the surface, and she pushed them back down.  
She smiled at Clarke and moved her hair out of her eyes. "I've got breakfast for you if you think you can eat."

"I am starving."

When Lexa undercovered the tray Clarke's eye went wide and all the wonderful smells. "Oh my god, where did you get the eggs and you found honey too?"

"For your special day, Clarke. Happy Valentines." Lexa held out the bundle of flowers.

"What? How did you know?"

"Lesta told me." She had asked her sister not to bring up what today was so that it would be a complete surprise to Clarke.

"Please eat while it's still hot."

Lexa poured out warm tea and added honey to her mug and one for Clarke. She only ate a piece of tous and let Clarke have the remaining meal.

"Hmm, thank you. So, this was what you did yesterday?"

"Among other things, finished your meal, Clarke. I want you to stay healthy."

Lexa waited and watched as Clarke ate, more concerned about spreading the honey over her bread than watching Lexa pulling out her gift.

Then when Clarke had finished, she pulled the tray aside and sat next to her. "My delay yesterday wasn't for a selfless reason, except when it comes to you. I wanted to mark down this day as one we would remember for the rest of our life." She pulled out a leather covered package and handed to Clarke.

Clarke looked at the gift and into Lexa's eyes and reached inside the leather bag. "I didn't get you anything, Lexa."

"You are my gift, Clarke. I need nothing more."

Clarke's eyes fell on a finely crafted cuffed bracelet. The width was over two inches and made out of shiny metal and intricately designed with the Trikru symbol one side; the other was a falling star. On the underside was yesterday's date, _February 13, 2150_. The time to signify the conception of their daughter. It was a brave move on Lexa's part, to put down such a significant date for them. Putting in writing, willing that this would be true. That by the end of the year, they would become three.

"It fits over her wrist, through this opening."

Clarke maneuver it over her right wrist a held it out to admire its gleam as it warmed up on her skin. "I love it, Lexa. It's perfect." The anger she felt last night seem to dissipate, replaced with the love emanating from her eyes.

"I was worried, Clarke," Lexa finally said when they laced their fingers together.

"It still may not work, but the technology is sound."

"How many weeks until we know?"

"At the minimum at least two, then I can take a test for the chemical that says that I'm pregnant. My mom will send back with us, the stuff to test to confirm. It's what they used on the Ark."

"So maybe in two weeks?" The childlike wonder she picked up from Lesta felt like a long time away from now. Lexa palm went to Clarke's belly and held in there as Clarke's hand joined hers and pressed down. Willing that a miracle was growing inside of her.

"It will be a big step in both of our lives if this works. Anything this important that brings our clans together is worth it; our little girl will be the essential thing to bring peace to all our people."

"All I care about is for you to be happy and healthy my love."

She smiled and drew Lexa down and under the covers once more, since nothing was pressing that couldn't wait, she could enjoy this quiet, reflective time with Clarke.


	27. Chapter 27

Lesta held her breath keeping the mist from giving away her hiding place on this cold afternoon. The game was hide and seek, and she was chosen to go first when they were allowed the leave the safety of the Ark to play in the woods nearby. She ran into the forest and climbed the tallest tree she could find and made her way up the branches until she could see the camp from where she waited.

Little did her new friends know, but she had experience at keeping hidden within the branches. Especially when her papa would call her for chores, sometimes she would be lurking in a tree, and her father would be standing right underneath and never knew she was just a few feet away high up in the branches.

Her father would wonder where she could be, as the sun would soon set and the animals who lurked in the dark would come out to feast and worry she would be their next meal. One time she saw him wipe his eyes and despair that she would never come home and he would never see her face again. That's when she would surprise him and come out of hiding and beg him not to cry and show him that she was just in the tree. It was funny that he would be so close to her, yet never find her. It almost happened every single time.

Inside the dense canopy of the trees gave her cover and watched as Jimmy, a Skai boy poked a stick into the bushes right below her — looking down, when he should be checking in the trees. Her best friend, Nara was nowhere to be seen, and Paige, Taylor and the other Skai kids stood just to the edge of the forest, too afraid to venture any further.

A whistle from their teacher, Charlie signaled their playtime was over and won the game since no one had found her. Lesta made her way down from her hiding spot, and as feet hit the ground, a hand came down on her shoulder.

"Found you," Nara proudly announced.

Lesta startled for a moment. "How'd?"

"I knew you were up there. I just waited for you to come down."

"You did not."

"Did too."

"You just found me because you saw me come down from the tree." Lesta walked ahead of Nara as they made their way back to the clearing, walking along the path that led back to Arkadia.

"No, I found you because you always hide in the same tree, Lesta. The other Skai kids never know to look up. Maybe because they were always looking down at the earth when they lived in the sky, anyway, I win."

"You didn't find me, Nara, the game was over."

"Oh okay, but next time. When it's my turn to I hide, you'll never find me."

"I can find you. My blood is the same as Heda's, and she's the greatest tracker of all."

Nara lingered behind Lesta, kicking at the ground with the toe of her boot as Lesta continued to chat about everything and nothing then noticed that her friend had gone silent.

"Okay, you did find me," Lesta said as she turned to her friend and she was gone. "Nara?"

The air was quiet, and she only heard the subtle wind through the trees and maybe her heart beating fast in her chest.

"Nara, where are you? We have to go back inside. You're not supposed to hide now."

Lesta anxiously waited when she got to the edge of the forest of trees hoping to see her friend emerge with a triumphant gleam in her eyes but was met with only silence. A call from the Ark rang out for the children who lingered to return to class. She waited as long as she could then rushed back inside and stood near to the door hoping to see Nara when she heard a sound of footsteps. Her smile turned into a frown seeing it was just an adult then found her seat next to Nara's empty one.

Charlie turned around from his blackboard and counted each child. "Where is Nara?"

Lesta didn't want to get her friend in trouble, but this seemed important enough that she should tell her teacher and stood up next to her desk and held up her hand. "I lost Nara in the woods when playtime was over."

Alarmed by her statement, he went to her side. "Was she still playing, child?"

Lesta hesitated, not sure if they were or not. "I don't think so. I thought the game was over."

"Okay, I'll go find her, in the meantime, I'd like you to practice your letters while I'm gone. "I'll be right back."

~

"Tell me again what Lesta said," Abby questioned Charlie.

"Not much really, just that they playing in the forest and were on their way back and then the girl disappeared."

"Damn it." Abby motion to Monty. "Find Echo and bring her to me. I think she's working with Kane in one of the far fields with his men." Monty nodded and ran from the council room.

"Couldn't she have just run away?" Charlie asked.

Bellamy shook his head. "I seriously doubt it. Nara wouldn't run anywhere that would take her away from her sister."

Abby motioned to Charlie. "Could you please bring Lesta here and will have her lead us where she saw her last."

"You got it, ma'am."

"We need to borrow a couple Trikru's trackers. Has anyone seen Kai?"

Bellamy hooked a thumb over his shoulder towards Raven's workstation. "She's with Raven as usual. I'll go get her."

~

"Let me see Skai girl." Kai reached for Raven's closed hand behind her back.

Raven batted her hand away smiling as she said, "Ah-ah, no. Not until you tell me what's your plans are for tonight."

"Now, that wouldn't be fair. I should be allowed a little secrecy when it comes to..." Kai stopped and turned her head at the sound from the door when Bellamy barged into the room.

"Hey, Raven I need to borrow Kai."

Kai leaned back from where she had Raven pinned against her workbench. "What can I help you with?"

"We have a missing child, the Azgeda girl."

"Nara?" Raven said a little alarmed.

"Yes, she was playing in the nearby forest, and now she's gone. We need you to track her where she was last seen. Please come with me." He didn't wait as Kai leaned over to kiss Raven and started to leave.

"I'm coming with you," Raven said getting to her feet.

"Of course," Kai held out her arm for Raven to hold and followed him out of the room.

~

Lesta pointed in the area where she last saw her friend, and Abby led her back inside pulling her to her side to quiet her tears telling her that they would find her friend.

Kai searched the debris-covered forest floor looking for anything that seemed out of place. Something that would give her clue as to where the child went. Children's footprints covered the area, and she waited to let her mind's eye picture the children playing. One stood by a tree and ran her hand over broken branches of a brush. Another child had passed nearby and then moved towards the tree, and saw that the other child's prints were deeper from coming down from the tree. She stood up and turned looking back towards the camp and saw one following the other. Ah, another set, not from a child. Heavier and more substantial than the rest.

"Look, there is a different set of prints over here. It's from an adult. See here and here?" She pointed them out to Bellamy who had waited by the edge of the forest while she searched.

"You're telling me someone took her?"

"I'm not saying that at all, just that it appears an adult was here recently. But, look you may be right, the two prints are moving away, deeper into the forest. The smaller one is being dragged."

"Why would anyone take a child?" Bellamy asked.

Kai stood a little straighter as her anger built. "This isn't unheard of in our lands. Children are sometimes taken to use for barter and unspeakable things. We need to leave soon and search for the girl. But the light is fading."

"We have flashlights back at camp. Harper could you head back to camp. We need light and a few more men to search. It'll be dark soon."

"You got it, Bellamy," Harper said as she turned and ran back to the Ark.

~

A smelly old bag covered Nara's head, and her hands were tied in front of her so she could be hauled along with no care taken that she wouldn't fall on the ground if she were to trip over the rocks or branches that litter the forest floor. She kept her mouth shut after her captor said that her throat would be slit if she uttered a word or screamed out. Her heart beat fast, and she was scared remembering the destruction of the Trikru villages she witnessed from before. She knew that people could be violent and would kill without reason, so she knew to keep quiet and small.

From the voice and the person's demeanor told her she was a woman and plotted a way to escape. As they walked in silence, she made sure to scuffed the ground with her feet, and if her hands touched a branch, she discreetly broke it, hoping to leave a trail. The person never said a word after her initial warning, just grunts and faint curses.

When at last they stopped a hand press down on her shoulder until her knees hit the ground and shoved her forward. Too scared to move, Nara stayed still. Another more forceful push with a slap to the back of her head, and she began to crawl until her nose bump against a surface. Nara turned around and sat on the ground and felt the rope around her hands jerked upward and fastened to some unseen thing, and the air grew quiet. The person who took her was gone. Nara lifted the bag to peak around and saw a light from a candle lighting up the dank space.

Nara found herself inside a hollowed out tree, much like a small room. The earth beneath her was covered in dried mud, covering old furs, and the walls held drawings in charcoal of animals and stick people.

Her first reaction was to pull at her bindings, remembering she a small knife in one of her pockets and tried to reach it until the woman returned and released her hands and shoved a bowl towards her. She was afraid to look and let her hood slide back down over her head when the woman jerk it off of her head.

"Chop op." _[Eat]_ The woman waited with anxious eyes. Nara resisted, then the woman declared with a toothless smile, "Set hir odon nat." _[Stay here over night]_

Nara blinked up at the woman, pulling back when she saw how thin she was and covered in smelly furs. Her face was dirty, and her eyes were as wild as unkempt hair on her head.

"Chon yu bilak?" Nara asked. _[Who are you?]_

"Skaikru baga." _[Sky people enemy]_ The woman spat out and repeated, "Chop op."

"No, take me home old woman."

"Shof of." _[Be quiet]_ She went to strike her and Nara pulled back. The woman made to slap at her again then stopped. "Chop op." The woman pushed the bowl in front of her again motioning to her mouth.

"No, take me home." Nara pulled at her ropes and kicked out at the woman.

The woman was quick and had Nara's feet tied and sat back and mumbled as she rocked back and forth, "Skaikru teik ogeda. Ai hon daun bac." _[Sky people take all. I take back]_

"I am not Skaikru, I am Azgeda," Nara barked.

The woman shuddered and reeled back. "No." Horrified, the terrified woman scrambled back against the inside of the tree and cursed again.

"Kir of ai!" _[Let me go!]_ Nara pulled again hard at her bindings, and the woman didn't move. She watched as Nara pulled a knife from her pocket and held it out to keep her away from her and cut the ropes freeing herself.

"They take our land, Azgeda. The killed my child." The woman looked defeated and gazed down at her empty hands.

Nara pushed the woman out of the way and crawled out of the tree. She didn't wait for the woman to follow her and looked around and tried to guess the best way back to Arkadia and her family. Nara didn't think that they had travel very far and listened to the sounds of the forest. Any noise that would give her a clue as to where she was and which way was home. Then broken branches she had made came into view and followed them hoping they would lead her back to Arkadia.

It was hard to see in the darkness of the forest, and until her eyes adjusted and she could make out a path and trudge forward. The woman scared her, and she tried to understand why she would have stolen her away. Somehow she knew it was important to remember what she had said as she kept one foot in front of the other.

She had been alone before when she hunted for her sister. Days and night alone, hunting for food and finding shelter in places, not unlike this old woman's meager hole.

The air shifted. A light glinted deep in the trees ahead and ducked behind a tree. Waiting, thinking that woman was following her. Then heavier footfalls from more than one person and then she heard familiar voices.

Nara ran into their direction and called out, "I'm over here."

More shouts and she saw her sister and ran into her arms. Echo lifted her off of the ground and Nara started to cry. Ducking her face in her shoulder and wrapping her arms and legs around her body.

"Hey, I got you." She set her down, and her cries turned into gulps and few hiccups. "You're safe now."

"Who took you, Nara?" Kai asked rubbing her back to help comfort her.

"An old Trikru woman, she said Skaikru took her land and killed her child. She lives in a hollow of a tree back there." She pointed back to the forest.

Bellamy called over his radio back to camp. "Hey Wick, let Abby know we found Nara, she's safe and were on our way back." He turned to Kai and said, "It's best we check this out in the morning. Can you walk or do you want me to carry you, Nara?"

"I can walk." But she grabbed his hand and held it along with her sister's.

"How did you escape, Nara?" Kai asked.

"I told her I wasn't Skaikru, that I was Azgeda, I think it frightened her. She didn't stop me when I cut my ropes and ran."

Kai followed behind the group and looked back over her shoulder into the darkness. Taking a child was a serious offense and could mean the treaty is on shaky ground. If more people felt like this woman, this could quickly escalate into a war with more lives senselessly lost.

~

"So, tomorrow?" Lexa drawled running her hand up along Clarke's arm.

"Mm and maybe..." Clarke's voice trailed off.

They were laying in bed, facing one another as Clarke caught Lexa's hand tucked in hers and rested it under her chin — gazing into her eyes wishing that it was morning and she could take the test to see if she was pregnant. That she hadn't started her cycle was a good sign. After that first morning when she saw spots in her undergarments was the last of anything that emerged to take their happiness away.

_Clarke? Over._

A static voice from the other room caused Clarke leaned up on one arm and gazed past Lexa. "Wonder what's up?" She crossed over to the outer chamber in bare feet and answered the call.

"Clarke I'm here, Mom. What's up?"

_I need to speak with the Commander. There was an incident this evening._

"I'll get her, hold on for a bit, Mom."

Clarke leaned into their room and called out, "Lexa, it's for you." She shook her head at how familiar that felt then just as quickly it passed and showed Lexa how to use the radio.

~

"Abby kom Skaikru, how may I help you?"

_I'm sorry to disturb you so late in the evening, but the young Azgeda girl, Nara was taken by one of your people this afternoon. We were able to recover the girl, and she wasn't harmed._

"You say, one of my people took a child?"

_From what Nara explained to us, the woman claims Skaikru took her land and killed her child._

"I see. Is the woman in your custody?"

_No. Not yet, Commander. We just recovered Nara wandering in the forest an hour or so ago. Nara was able to escape. She believes it frightened the woman when she told her; she was Azgeda._

"Do you want her punished, Abby?"

_I'm not sure that would fix the problem. With the leader, Karon it took making a deal with him, and I thought we had an understanding. Clearly, there are still some disputes that need your attention. Is there any way, you could meet with your people?_

Lexa put her head back looked to the ceiling. That last thing she wanted to do is head back to Arkadia. She thought that the understanding between the smaller villages resolved but had been wrong.

She looked back at Clarke, trying to come up with a solution that doesn't require her riding back to Arkadia in the middle of the night.

"Abby is Kai around? I wish to speak to her."

_She's not here at the moment. I'll send for her and call you back._

"Thank you, Abby."

"Before you ask, no I do not want to go back to Arkadia so soon from getting home. This problem is something you're people will have to resolve. If I get involved in every aspect of their disagreements, I will be seen as favoring your people over all others."

"We can't just let them take a child, and do nothing about it," Clarke said as she leaned against the open door.

"I didn't say we would do nothing, Clarke. I'm saying they have to resolve their disputes among my people."

"I thought we are all you people."

"That's not what I meant. Even between clans, villages have their leaders that need to learn how to deal with your people, and not come running to me, with every little problem. We have a treaty, and my people need to obey the edict. I want Kai to find the leader and bring him here. If I have to drag them into this agreement, I will. But, I want to avoid escalating the problem."

"If your people are still angry, what would it take to fix this?"

"They have to feel apart of the decision making. That what I do is for all my people's benefit. Some will still keep their heads in the ground, afraid to make new friends and trust new people. Especially if that new clan, Skaikru is so much like the mountain man. With your technology and comings and goings, it must have them on edge."

"I thought we would have time..."

A buzzed signal the incoming radio transmission, _How does..._ Static from the radio cut off the voice coming through clearly.

Lexa leaned forward. "Kai are you there?"

A voice that sounded like Raven's was helping a confused Kai with the radio, _Just pushed down that button and speak. It's not that hard._

_Heda, can you hear me?_

"Kai?"

_Ah, I hear you. It is me, Kai kom Trikru._

Lexa rolled her eyes at Clarke as she shook her head and leaned into the microphone. "Okay, this is what I want you to do." Lexa went on to tell her to bring together the leaders of the surrounding villages after they have captured the old woman and found out her story. If this goes on punished, nothing will stop them from doing it again. Once she has leaders assembled, she wants the grievances laid out. But, nothing unreasonable. Kai will call a halt to any leaders whose people continued to cause difficulties before the problems have been heard and fixed. Anyone not complying will be brought before Lexa in Polis. Her orders are the law and will not be ignored.

_And the woman, when she's caught what will be her punishment?_

"Bring her to Polis, Kai. Unharmed. I command to speak with her."

_As you wish, is there anything else my friend?_

"Just, thank you for taking care of this for me. I didn't want to return when we have just returned home."

_I will let you know once we have assembled and made arrangments to come to Polis._

"Good, will speak soon."

Clarke shut down the device, as Lexa eyed its set up. "The radio was a good idea, for when you were hurt and talking with my people directly. Maybe we should set this up with all of my people, and perhaps our problems could be resolved much easier."

"Maybe we can work with Raven and her crew to do that." They moved back the bedroom and Clarke pulled the covers down over their bed. "I'm glad the little girl wasn't hurt, but what would have been her motive for taking a child. What do you think she wanted?"

"Trikru customs, the older ones are for wanting justice, jus drein jus daun. I haven't heard of taking a child to replace a dead one before. She could be involved in slavery, taking this child for selling. If that is the case, she will lose her life over this. It also serves a purpose of sending a message. The days of slaveholding is over."

Clarke laid back on the bed. "Damn, Lexa, I didn't know."

Lexa laid next to her and pulled her into her arms. Running her hand along her back as Clarke curled into her embrace. "The trip I took to the north to recover those women and children from Azgeda, was what they had attempted to do with them. Yes, they were angry their Queen was dead and wanted to punish my people. But, their motives were for profit."

Lexa recalled the battle to recover her people. Young frighten women and children, held in pins, their men and fathers, slain outright. When Lexa caught the Azgeda warriors, it gave her great pleasure removing the heads from the instigator's shoulders.

"Is it common, enslaving and selling people?"

"Not all. It came about when couples would join. One always owed more to the other and would have to work off the debt. It's the least of my concern because the parties involved are in agreement and the child would grow up learning a craft of some sort and treated as a member of the new family. The other way and the one I would like to stop when a father would want to rid itself of a mouth to feed, and he would sell the daughter away for barter. Women being of more value than men and easier to control. This will end if I have to take every one of their heads to make them stop." Lexa's eyes grew dark at the thought. "It is harsh, I know. But, I will not allow this in my coalition. Children and all people are to be treated equally. Taking a child, well I will not tolerate that. Children are to be protected, given a place to grow and learn."

For the past few weeks, that's all she could think about, babies and children of all ages. When in the streets of Polis her eyes always caught the faces of the small ones. It was a new reaction she had now that they may have one of their own.

"When you were gone, I studied your written laws and nowhere did it state anything about owning people or that it would be illegal."

"It's somewhat new, this taking of people. But, it has only been an issue in the past few years. When people grow desperate, or they value no one, except for coin in their pocket or drink in the belly."

"Your people use money?"

Lexa nodded her head. "Some do, for me, I see it has no use. You can't wear it or eat it. It takes up space and is heavy, easily lost, and then you fret for over this useless thing. What has more value is food, shelter, and knowledge?"

"I thought that coins or currency, went away before the bombs fell and they used credit."

"Some of these fools, make their own. Some are found in old relics. Those I suppose are the more valuable to the ones who search for them. But, you see that's the catch, it only has value if the other person craves it. If someone puts value into it, could be used for food or a warm body."

"You know Lexa if these coins were made out of gold, copper or other fine metals, we could use them in our technology."

Lexa blew out a breath. "Can we cross that bridge when we get there, Clarke?"

"What do you mean?"

"If you start putting a value on these metals, then people will lose interest in their daily works. They will leave their families, hunt and kill others to obtain them."

"You've put a lot of thought into that. I do see your point. But, there may come a time when will need these metals."

"Ah, skai girl, enough talk of useless money. It's time you read me a story."

"I'm not in a mood to read tonight."

"What did you have in mind?"

"You, me and a soft bed."

"That I can arrange." She pulled at Clarke until she was sitting on her hips and bent her legs so Clarke could lean against them.

Clarke joined their hands together and pulled them until she pushed Lexa's hand flat over her stomach. Lexa's mouth came open slightly, feeling the warmth beneath her hands and watched Clarke's face.

"There is life in there. I can tell Lexa. I feel different."

Lexa smiled and quickly opened her legs making Clarke fall over on her back and took a pillow and placed behind Clarke's head.

"Whoa," Clarke stated, at her quickly shifted position.

Lexa moved her shirt up, so her belly was exposed and then leaned over and placed her ear against it.

She tapped lightly on the surface and then Lexa whispered into Clarke's belly. "Hello? Is there anyone there?"

Clarke giggled and ran her fingers through Lexa's hair.

"My love says that you are in there." Lexa made like she was listening to a wee voice. "What is it you say? Ah, yes your mother is beautiful, the most beautiful woman in the world."

"Lexa," Clarke drawled.

"Wait, the child says, but what of me. Who do I look like?"

"My darling, you will be of us both, but you will favor your fair-haired mother."

"I hope she has your dark hair, your high cheekbones, and green eyes."

"Shh, she speaks again. She asked me when but will I be born?"

Lexa leaned over and kissed her belly. "Soon, my child." Lexa laid her head down and looked up into Clarke's eyes. "One more day, we will know if it is true, and that you carry the child of peace.

"I'm crossing my fingers, Lexa."

~

Clarke worried, had she imagined the feeling of life stirring inside of her or was in her head. A dream that wasn't possible just a few short months ago, but the hour was late as they laid in silence until Lexa's breath even out in sleep. However, Clarke's head was full of possibilities and stayed awake for hours and wondered what tomorrow would bring.

~

"Do you have to go so early, Kai? The sun isn't even up." Raven pulled her lover back towards the bed by the back of her shirt until the woman leaned on one arm and hovered over Raven.

"I want to catch the woman, as she sleeps. It is the last thing I want to deal with so early in the morning, yes. But, Lexa depends on me to handle this situation quickly. The sooner I'm out, the quicker I'll be back."

"Be careful. Don't get all cut up or something."

"I will be careful." Kai leaned over Raven and grazed her lips once more, slipping her tongue inside and heard a quiet moan come from her lover.

"Damn, you better leave before I don't let you out of our room." She pushed the woman away. Kai laughed and finished dressing.

"I'll be back as soon as possible."

Kai joined Bellamy and his men inside of the council room as he was leaning over a roughly drawn map of the surrounding areas. "We found Nara approximability in this area. He pointed out a spot, just to the southwest of their camp.

"There is a small gathering area near this place, not a village, just a small group of people who shy away from others. They don't generally trade with our people even though they are Trikru."

"Let's go check it out, but first I want to find that woman. Going by Nara's description, she shouldn't be hard to identify."

Kai and Bellamy took the lead and quietly stepped into the forest. When they were just at the spot where the recovered Nara, Kai motioned to Bellamy to head his right, he nodded, and the walked in silence. Through the trees, Bellamy motioned to an old tree standing apart from the rest. It was as Nara described it. The gaping hole that leads inside of the tree was dark and held up his fist for his party to halt and wait nearby. Kai motion to Bellamy with her hand that she'd flank the other side and to move the men to form a blockade, less she runs. He nodded and then pointed to his men where to wait.

Kai moved towards the tree and stood just to the left and out of sight of the opening. She motion for Bellamy to take the other side and they waited until they heard movement inside. More scuffling and soon a head poked out of the hole. Then quickly both of her arms were grabbed by Kai and Bellamy, and the woman let out a bloodcurdling scream.

"Shof of," Kai yelled at her and shook her to make her stop.

"Kir of ai!" _[Let go of me]_

"Speak English," Bellamy barked.

The woman reeled back and kicked out at him. She was small and wiry and really of no threat.

"What's your name?" Kai asked.

"You're a traitor, Trikru. You mingle with our enemy and let them hurt our people."

The old woman grabbed her head with her hands, and they let her fall to the ground. The woman seemed to be in pain as she pulled at her hair, moaning gibberish at their feet.

Bellamy was at lost to the woman's outburst. "What's wrong with her?"

"Koken. She's crazy." Kai made a motion to her head.

"Get her up and take her back to camp. I'm going to search around to see if she has people. Maybe they can tell us who she is, and why she took the child."

"Do you want my men to accompany you, Kai?"

"No. Just you, my friend."

Bellamy instructed her men to take the woman back to the camp and place her in custody. Not to harm her, but give her some food.

"Lead the way."

~

There was no way to tell the time without her father's watch. Its timekeeping would have let her know what hour it was on this early morning. The sun's light would have helped but was unable to pierce the cloud covering that threatened to rain and could swear she could smell it coming. It added to the uncertainty while they sat on their bed, still in their sleeping gowns holding hands.

Star was at the foot of the bed. Her head between her outstretched paws. Eyes darted to one and then the other and finally closing them, unconcerned with what was going on. The pregnancy tester her mother gave her to use, stayed in the bathroom laying on the counter, while they waited for the device to indicate yes or no. The waiting was agonizing. The fate of their bonding held in this small thing. If it turned blue, she would be pregnant.

"How much longer, Clarke?"

"Just a few minutes more."

Her heart beat fast against Lexa's question, closing her eyes then felt Lexa's arm go around her shoulders keeping her grounded.

"If it doesn't work, we can try again."

Lexa leaned her head against hers as she rubbed her thumb over Clarke's bracelet. She hadn't removed since Lexa had placed in on her wrist. It was a silly thing but it did give her comfort, and maybe she was a little superstitious of taking it off having lost her father's watch months ago and didn't want to lose this precious gift as well.

"I know, but..." Clarke glanced over at Lexa and saw a bit of sadness covering her face. It was a long shot, the possibility that on the first attempt they would be successful. It hurt to think that a simple little device held in it the power to destroy or give them happiness. She waited a moment longer and squeezed Lexa's hand, then walked to the bathroom retrieving the item and closed her eyes when she found it hadn't changed.

~

Clarke's eye grew red holding back her tears then sniffed as they broke free and began crying, falling into Lexa's arms as she removed the device from Clarke's trembling fingers.

Lexa couldn't look at Clarke, and she couldn't look down at the object in her hand. She didn't want to it confirmed her worst fears even within Clarke's tears telling her it was so. She released Clarke and walked to the balcony instead, keeping her eyes closed for a moment whispering a prayer to Keryon. Then cracked her eyes open and gazed down to check to be sure.

It still hadn't changed. Lexa wanted to pitch the device over the balcony and lower her face until her forehead rested on her outstretched arms. The defeat felt weighted of thousand cuts to her soul. An unseen foe that beat her will into submission — it felt foreign, ugly, cursing and wishing she could strike something and find relief.

Clarke's mother had warned them that the first time might not work as her soul cried for the child who wouldn't be born. A face she would never see. A child with no name. Lexa lifted her head recalling they could try again and stood straighter and pushed down her grief and looked once at the device in her hand.

Lexa blinked her eyes a few times, and the color was no longer white, the color started to intensified until it grew to a bright shade of blue and it took her breath away. It was the most beautiful color of blue Lexa had ever seen, when she glanced upward it was indeed the color of the sky as the clouds parted and the sun began to shine brightly over Polis.

Joy filled every part of her world, but her heart lurched inside her chest when she turned to see tears streaming down Clarke's face and went back to the bed and fell on her knees in front of her and wrapped her arms around Clarke's back and kissed her belly. Clarke's hands went to her hair and then pulled her head up to see that Lexa was also crying, but the smile she had her face showed her happiness.

"I...I think it worked, Clarke."

"What, but I thought..." Clarke gazed down at Lexa's hand, show her that the procedure did indeed work.

"What do we do now?"

Clarke grinned and scooted back on their bed dragging Lexa along with her dislodging Star who sneezed and jumped off the bed. "We need to tell everyone. My mom, and your parents first."

"Yes, I must send a message right away."

"But, can we just enjoy that we are the only two people in the world that know?"

"You're going to be a mother, Clarke."

"You are too, Lexa."

Both their eyes when wide as the reality hit them and they mirrored each other as they laid on their backs in shock. It was quiet for the span of a few minutes as Lexa thoughts crashed around inside her head. So many different happy emotions. She would see her child, and it would be of both of them. They would be a family. What will be her name? How tall would she grow? Would she be a warrior or a healer like her mother? Then Lexa heard a small laugh from Clarke and turned her head to see a happy smile on her face. One that lit up the entire room. She smiled back and leaned in to kiss that smile.

"I can't wait, let's call my mom."

"Okay." They dashed to the radio room, giggling like little children as Clarke cranked the handle to charged it up before she called and Lexa pulled Clarke into her lap.

"Hey, is anyone up?"

They waited a few minutes and only heard static. "I'll try it again. Clarke Griffin calling Arkadia, hey is anyone there?" Still silence then a voice came through.

 _Kind of busy right now._ It was Wick.

"What's going on?

_We're trying to chase down the crazy woman that Bellamy and Kai caught in the forest. We think she's the one that took the little Azgeda girl._

"How do you know she is crazy."

Wick chuckled. _The woman got loose and broke Kai's nose, almost bit Monty, and I they're outside, and Bellamy is trying to tackle her. She's pretty tough for being as small as she is._

Clarke joined his laughter. "Where's Raven?"

_In the sick bay with your mom, fixing her girlfriend's nose. Boy, Kai is pissed off. That woman clocked her a good one._

"Ouch. Okay, once things settle down could you have my mom call me?"

~

Wick watched out the small window of the workstation as Bellamy's men had the woman cornered. "I'll let her know. Wait. Yes, they finally got her under control. It looks like they're going to bring her back inside. The woman's nuts."

_Okay, tell my mom to call as soon as she can, Wick._

"You got it, talk to you later."

~

Kai kept her head back while Raven held a cloth to her nose. It stung as she gently wiped the blood away. The woman had caught her by surprise when her elbow slammed into her nose, taking her to her knees when they were on their way back to Arkadia. She saw stars and almost blacked out.

"You're going to have a couple of shiners, babe," Raven said as she rinsed out the cloth and wiped the remaining blood away. Kai was confused at her statement, and Raven clarified, "Black eyes, Kai."

"Oh, yes. I'm sure I will have, shinners."

Abby felt around on her nose carefully. "It's broke. We need to keep it cold." She called over to an assistant to fetch a bucket of snow from outside. "So I want you to ice your nose, to take down the swelling and stay elevated. Try breathing through your nose."

She did, and it was a little stuffy. "Hmm, it not to bad. Rest and ice it. You're done for the day. I want you off of your feet. Keep your head elevated while you sleep. Raven, can you see putting the cold compresses to her nose about four times a day for the next few?"

"No problem." Kai gritted her teeth at the throbbing pain shoot through her face. "Can you stand up?"

She did and leaned against Raven. "I can walk."

"Good, because I don't think I can carry you back to our room."

"I'll let them know to deliver the snow to your room."

"Thanks, Dr. Abby."

~

Bellamy passed them in the hallway and leaned against the door when he got to Abby's medical bay. "We've got the woman locked up next to Jasper's cell. There's definitely something wrong with her. She convinced that we're going to harm her, I think."

"I'll sedate her then examine and have her cleaned up," Abby stated.

"She mumbled about us killing her child, but she looks too old to have a baby. So I'm not sure what she's talking about. The local village leader said that they know of no children by her and they think her name is Nan.

"Hey, Abby?" Wick leaned on the other side of the doorway. "When you got a minute, Clarke radioed in a couple of minutes ago and asked for you to call her back."

"Wonder what that could be all about." Then remembered today Clarke would find out if she were pregnant and rushed out of the room to Raven's workshop.

~

Lexa still had Clarke on her lap, placing soft kisses along her neck and shoulders and stopped and answered the call, "Hey Mom." She waited for a beat and said, "We're pregnant."

~

Her mother was over the moon with the happy news and laughed till she cried and suggested that they should visit Arkadia when the weather turns warmer to give her a complete exam and confirm the health of her pregnancy.

They decided to spend the day wading through the markets of Polis. The air was crisp and bundled up in a couple of furs to keep warm. Everything felt different, smelled different. The light intensified the colors around them. They shared offerings of delights from the merchants as Lexa led her along the pathways of Polis.

"There's a man I'd like you to meet, Clarke." Lexa picked up a rare glass bowl for holding fruit and motion to the vendor for a trade.

"Who is he?"

Lexa handed Clarke the bowl, and she tucked it in her pouch and continued down a central hub. "Just a man that knows things. It's hard to explain, as I've only met him a few times before."

"I'm surprised, aren't you a little suspicious of someone who is suppose to know things about you?"

"I would, except he knew more than he should and you will understand once you meet him. He would not have the ability to hold this knowledge and yet it does. He is an interesting fellow."

"What did he know about you?"

"He said, that one day I would challenge in a way that would test my heart, but it would resolve itself in the end, and I would find the one that my soul was seeking. I thought it was about Costia until she died, but now I know it was about you."

"That sounds a bit generalize, Lexa."

"I know, it certainly did at the time." Lexa stopped outside of an unassuming building. "This where he lives."

Lexa rapped on the open door as they ducked into the man's home and saw him sitting by a warming fire. "Ah, Heda. I've been expecting you and have brought the one you lost."

Clarke shook her head as she blinked and wondered how did he know she was with Lexa since he was unfortunately blind.

"Please sit."

He motioned to a chair near him by the fire and reached for a metal pot hanging near a fire and poured them each a cup of tea by rote.

His eyes were a soft pale gray and stared away, unfocused at their presence. The man's face was smooth, almost effeminate. He had no facial hair as Clarke grew accustomed to seeing on the face's of the Trikru men, but he did wear hair braided and pulled away from his face. It was when he moved the air filled with a spicy, floral scent and Clarke leaned in to smell deeper.

"My name is Trace, Clarke kom Skaikru. The scent you smell is fig."

"I...How did you know my name?"

"I've heard you are with Heda. That is no secret in Polis." His hands reached out for his mug taking a drink. "You think I'm a pretender, a fraud, someone who isn't to be trusted. True or false?"

"To be honest, I'm not sure yet." She wasn't. It wasn't unlike others who she had known on the Ark. People who purpose in life was to predict the future. It was all done in fun, but still, others had hoped that when given good fortune it would make their miserable lives better.

"So, I will tell you my story. When I was a small infant, my mother didn't know what to do with me. Without sight, she could have left me in the forest to sustain the creatures that lived there. My sweet mother loved me and took care to speak about the people who lived here in Polis to keep me entertained. Then when I grew older, I would sit outside to peel the fruit of the fig, to dry in the sun. I would listen while the world passed by me always hearing the comings and goings. They say if you lose one sense, the other's intensifies and I guess that Keryon blessed me with the gift of insight."

"You are more plain-spoken than I assumed, Trace."

"You have questions, Clarke?"

"Surprise me, Trace," Clarke said coyly.

"Then give me your hands." Clarke did, laying her hands faced down in his upturned ones. They grew warm as he held them and then he smiled.

He took in a breath and said. "I see that congratulations are in order for the both of you."

Clarke blinked and turned to Lexa. Shaking her head, how did he know? But, wait he could be saying that about anything. Could it be becoming a part of the coalition or maybe their pregnancy?

"About, what?"

"First, I must say. I do know that you came from a great distance from talk from our people. But, what couldn't have been known; a great disappointment that has since resolved, and there has been a reunion of souls that had been apart for a very long time. Now, I feel the joy radiating out from the both of you. You are with child, Clarke."

He couldn't have known. There was no way. "We just found out this morning."

"Then may I say, how pleased I am with your good news. There is more if you would like to know."

"I'm not sure, Trace."

"I understand, so just let me say. You, the both of you have a chance to do great things with the power you hold. That is not a mystery, just within this power is where wisdom prevails. Your child will carry on with your legacy, Heda. She will learn at your feet and continue with peace for generations. There is something more, that is hidden from me, in the background, it shall be your next hurdle. It's not clear to me what it is at the moment." His smile changed to a more thoughtful nature. "I can say no more. It is up to you both to keep watch for this complication and to persevere."

(Heda nodded her head to Clarke. Trace could be invasive but not on purpose. What he knew or felt couldn't be quantified. Now, she knew there was a definite something on the horizon she should try to prepare for.)

"Can I asked you how you knew I was pregnant?"

Trace laughter filled the room. "It was simple Clarke. You smell pregnant. I told you when you lose one sense the other's intensifies," He said as he tapped his nose. "Please, take with you, my figs," He said as he handed her a bag full of the sweet dried fruit. "It's for your baby. It will help her grow strong and also for you, for your enjoyment. But, only a couple of a day."

"I'd like that, thank you."

Lexa placed a wrapped bundle of dried meat she was carrying in his hands. "For your time, Trace."

"Ah, no trouble. It was a pleasure to meet you, Clarke, please come back for a visit. Only to talk, no mystery or predictions."

"I will. Thank you." Clarke bent over and wrapped her arms around his body as he slowly reached up and did that same and patted her on her back.

"Be well, Clarke of the sky people."

~

 _Her name is Nan, Heda and she didn't have any children. The village leader where she was from said woman hears things, and most people avoid her_ , Kai said.

Lexa leaned back in her chair. "What do you want to do with her, then?"

_Abby is going to treat her. She says they have medicine that will help her keep calm and maybe we can reason with her. Echo says that her sister is without injury and will not want the woman punished too harshly after they had heard she was not well._

"Excellent, Kai."

_Oh, and congratulations to you and Clarke._

"Did Abby tell you?"

 _No, Raven told me, and she was pleased with the news._ Kai paused during the lull in the conversation. _Can I ask you a question, Heda?_

"Anything, my friend."

_When did you know you loved Clarke?_

Lexa didn't have to think too hard about that question; it was before they met. In a life, before when they were lovers in another time, and that wouldn't be understandable to anyone. They would think they were lying or crazy like the woman who took young Nara. She didn't want to reveal this knowledge that was only between her and Clarke. So she would have to lie to her friend, or would she? I can answer this question by being vague. But, wait a minute, she's really asking about Raven?

"Hmm, you have feelings for Raven, Kai?"

The radio was silent for a moment then Kai spoke haltingly, _Raven is special to me. I care for her a great deal. I do think I am falling in love with her, but don't think I didn't notice you didn't answer my question about Clarke._

Lexa laughed at being caught. "I would say I fell in love with Clarke the first time I met her, but you would say that wasn't being truthful. The best I can say, when I first saw Clarke's eyes and how she wanted peace, something stirred in me. From there, we had our trials, and by the grace of Keryon, we found in each other our weakness and strengths. Not to exploit or take advantage but to complete each other, Kai. Does that make any sense?"

_I do understand what you are saying, and I feel deeply for Raven as well and want to bond with her._

"Then my advice is to tell her how you feel. If she doesn't feel the same, then you have made a good friend, and you can move on. If she does care deeply for you, then I will rejoice in your new relationship."

 _I hope it is the latter,_ Kai said.

"I as well. Okay, as for the woman, I will leave it to Skaikru take care of her, and maybe she will find peace, once her mind is under her control. I will speak with you later, Kai."

_Heda Leksa, thank you for your time and be well._

Clarke heard most of their conversation and smiled at the way Lexa handle the tough questions from her friend as she leaned against the door.

"Not bad, Heda."

Lexa turned and motion for Clarke and moved to stand between her open legs. Lexa nuzzled her face between Clarke's breast, breathing her mate's scent as she wrapped her arms loosely around Clarke's back. After their visit with Trace this afternoon, she wasn't sure if it was with his suggestion or a need to know if it was true if she smelled pregnant, but Clarke clean scent after a bath was intoxicating to her.

Clarke's fingers ran through her hair as she breathed in again. "What are you doing, Lexa?" Pulling her head back to look down into her glazed over eyes.

"I'm trying to see if Trace was correct."

"Well?"

"You smell wonderful to me, Clarke," She said kissing her breast over her shirt.

"Your bias."

"Maybe so, but I know what you smell like when you haven't had a bath, so it's not that."

"I was smelly, wasn't I?"

"When you out in the wilderness, yes but now. Hmm, you smell like..." Lexa leaned in again to deeply inhale. "Like warmth, sweet and arousing."

"Really?" Clarke pulled at Lexa's hands making her stand and walked back into their bedroom with Lexa keeping her from running into anything. Her lips found Lexa's when the backs of her legs hit the side of the bed. Clarke pulled at her until they were properly laying on the mattress. Lexa hovered over her, afraid to put her full weight on her stomach until Clarke pulled her down.

"I won't break, Lexa."

"You will have to tell me what your limitation is, Clarke. All of this is new to me."

"I can do that, but you don't have to worry, we can still be close." Clarke looked up at her seeing the concern on her face.

"How can you be sure?"

"Will go slow."

Lexa didn't answer but buried her face in Clarke's neck continuing to inhale her scent and let the world fade until nothing existed outside of this room but Clarke and their unborn child.


	28. Chapter 28

Lexa leaned to the side, ducking under a tree limb that crossed the pathway making the sweat at the edge of her hairline run down her temple, gather under her chin and then trickle down her neck. The surrounding trees couldn't keep the heat from the sun from raising the humidity in the forest, and she finally had enough, and indeed as Heda keeping her coat on was foolish and removed it, then laid it across Draco's withers leaving her in a sleeveless shirt.

The Clarke effect caused her to forgo the trappings of her office and wore her hair in one single braid down her back and left her warpaint at home but still wore her Helm of Awe between her eyes.

She turned to check on Clarke riding on Fotam just as she wiped the sweat running down between her breasts catching Lexa watching and stuck out her tongue. Lexa smirked and continued on the trail.

They were into the second day of travel following the same route southward towards the place Clarke had made her home while she came to terms with her grief. The trek to the camp was a special treat for both of them and to share with her friends, Lesta and her new friend Nara. It was a place to reconnect before they took the children to her family's farm. The Ark school would be out until this fall and kept her promise to her folks she'd return with her sister over the summer.

"Hold up." Lexa raised a fist and dismounted. She held onto Draco's reins and led him into the open area as the memories of the camp from late last year came into focus. Not much had changed except the debris that covered the ground. Satisfied she had found the old encampment she turned to Lincoln and said, "Will make camp here."

"Yes, Heda," Lincoln replied and slid from his mount and started to unburden his horse of its gear.

"Lesta and Nara, please take care of the horses. Find a cool place they can rest."

"Yes, Heda." The girls looked at each other an giggled and went quiet when Lexa gave them a stern but a playful raised eyebrow. The girls obeyed and guided the horses under the shady trees nearby and tied them off. Lincoln took the bundles from the horses as Lesta and Nara collected the kits and laid them in a neat stack in the center of the camp. Octavia didn't wait to be told what to do and began to assemble the larger rocks from the bushes they had hidden last year, into a firepit.

Octavia's defensive nature eased on the trip and bantered with Clarke and even Lexa on their journey. But, her interrogation about Clarke's pregnancy began halfway through their excursion asking questions like does Clarke have odd cravings, has she thrown up yet and was she scared to have a child at her young age? Lexa suspected that Octavia's interest was on her behalf. She wasn't much younger than Clarke and was sexually active with Lincoln, and maybe she was concerned about getting pregnant herself, although she never indicated one way or the other.

Kai and Raven took up the rear and with Kai walking the distance as she held onto the reins of her horse for Raven sake and to keep the pace steady.

"How are you doing, Raven?"

"My butt is a bit sore. Can you help me down?"

"Of course." Kai brought the horse to a standstill as Raven lifted her uninjured leg over the horse's rump. Kai held onto to her hips as she slid the rest of the way to the ground.  
  
"Whoa. Let me get my sea legs, partner." Raven leaned against the horse and rubbed her injured leg to get the blood flowing and then took a couple of steps. "Okay, I've got this." Kai released her arm and followed her into the campsite.

Lexa continued to instruct the two girls, "They'll need water. Take them through this path and when you get to the waterfall, take them further down the stream so they can drink. Then bring them back and tie them off."

Lesta and Nara followed her directions and gathered the horses, and lead them through the path down to the water. Clarke was the last to dismount and handed her reins over to Lesta.

"Do you want to stay here or over at your camp by the waterfall, Clarke?"

"As nice as that sounds, we should stay here with everyone else. We can check out the water later." Star trotted passed them and followed the girls to the water. "I'm going to help Kai with the firewood, could you set up our tent?"

"Are you sure you should be working in this heat, Clarke?"

"I'm just barely beginning to show, and I you know I can't sit around and let you guys have all of the fun. I'll be okay Lexa. I'm not tired at all." Lexa put up her hands and started the task of setting up their tent.

Clarke was almost through her first trimester having gotten a clean bill of health from her mother. Before they left for this trip, her mother gave Clarke an ultrasound on their strange tek. It verified on the fuzzy screen that Clarke was carrying a healthy fetus. Lexa's was shocked at seeing the baby for the first time and put her hand on the monitor to touch the image of her child.

Clarke also insisted on continuing her training with Lexa. She wanted to keep her body fit while she was pregnant and Mera provided her with lotions to use when her belly would expand. But, exercise was best for keeping her body in shape.

Lexa wanted to object, but with Clarke, it was best to go along and guide her safely through her lessons. She created a workout plan for Clarke that allowed her to build up a sweat and not completely tired her out. Later in the evenings, she would work out any kinks Clarke had, making her putty in her hands, allowing her to fall deeply asleep. It was in those quiet times, Lexa would lie awake, sometimes for hours just holding Clarke. Her mind filled with her duties as Commander and now becoming a parent.

After she had informed her advisors that Clarke was carrying her child, they scoffed drawing a whithering gare as they humbly insisted it was impossible. She held her temper in check and respectfully explained if Clarke's mother was able to cure the ripas of their infliction then couldn't their knowledge of medicine be more advanced? Finally revealing what she had found in their old records that she wasn't forbidden from having a mate, and they finally agreed that they would abide by the findings and the child between them.

Now the only thing that concerned her for the moment came from Trace's subtle warning. She visited him a couple of more times after Clarke's meeting with him, and he couldn't clarify more, except to say, stay vigilant.

That word kept ringing her head. When they returned to Arkadia, she did notice a not so subtle change in Jaha. He was always outspoken, talking over Abby, objecting and generally being disruptive with the Chancellor and wondered if he would become a problem. Something had changed with him after the camp was renamed. He didn't seem to like to follow orders. Clarke had mentioned it to her after another conference with them concerning the distribution of their crops for barter. They were feeding a large group of people and trade might be tight. After this season, the land would be theirs to do as they wished, and wondered if they would hoard their supplies.

Nothing would be resolved until she had a talked again with Abby to find out if she shared the same concerns about Jaha. He was, after all, her people and maybe she would be unable able to stop him from stirring up any trouble. Another thing Clarke had voiced was concern about his belligerent nature with Lexa's people. Jaha still carried respect from the sky people and could, if pushed, mount a challenge to take over as the new Chancellor, but if they were vigilant as Trace said, they could outmaneuver his take over.

"Clarke, I can finish collecting the firewood. You should rest," Kai said.

"Not you too?"

Kai put her hands up. "Honestly, Clarke I've got this."

"I'd do what Kai said, Clarke. I know for a fact that she won't take no for an answer," Raven stated.

Kai flashed a smile at Raven as she pulled Clarke away to sit down on a log and watch them work. "I didn't get a chance to asked you how you guys are doing?"

"It's great. I mean Kai can get underfoot at times but in a sweet kind of dorky way. I forgot what it was like to have the full attention of one person. Plus it's a bonus that Kai's is sexy as hell and gives me my space when I need it. I do like her a lot."

Clarke noticed that Raven didn't use the word love but had used the word partner more than once when referring to Kai. Could be that Raven didn't want to commit. Raven seemed to protect her heart against anything more, and it was evident that Kai hadn't told Raven she loved her yet. She could see how Raven wouldn't make it easy for Kai. Lexa said that when the time is right, Kai will know. Let her heart feel her connection to Raven if it is meant to be.

"Hey Raven, you want to see where I camped?"

"I thought it was here."

"No, this is the Commander's camp. My place is closer to the water." Clarke stood up and guided Raven the short distance to her camp. Up over the hill, through the trees. Clarke reached out and held onto Raven's hand as they moved through the more rocky trail and then walked on the sandy path to the beach.

The air was noticeably cooler closer to the water as they stood side by side in the opened area of her old camp. "Here it is."

Raven looked around and noticed the carving on a tree where Lexa had carved its name, 'Clarke's Camp. "Did Lexa do that?" Clarke looked away as the heat covered her cheeks.

"Your babe sure had a hard-on for you, even back then, huh?"

"Raven." Clarke blush grew deeper, then huffed out a little laugh. "I think we both did but were too stupid to let our guard down. It didn't take long after that for us to figure out we were madly in love with each other."

"Wow, madly in love. You're one lucky girl."

Raven sounded a bit jealous and maybe a little sad. If Kai was in love with Raven, she'd better do something about it soon, or Raven would lose interest.

Clarke noticed Star nosing around a stick. The same toy she'd play with months ago. She picked it up and found the small teeth marks as Star began spinning and urging her to toss it for her.

"Ready?" Star sneezed and stomped the ground. "Set." Star leaned on her forearms, "Go." Clarke tossed the stick sending it into the water as the wolf dove into the pond with a splash.

Star paddle out to retrieved the stick and came back to the shore and shook herself off and laid it at Clarke's feet. Her wolf, no longer a pup and was nearly up to her hips. Her face lost its round cub look, but still acted gently around Clarke when she wanted to play.

Clarke tossed it again and gazed down from the beach and spotted Lesta, and Nara setting the horses to drink. She watched as Lesta reached under the water and scooped it up a hand full and splash Nara in the face, starting a play fight in the water.

This place held into so many memories for her, not just that it was where a budding connection with Lexa had started again, but a safe comfort zone to let her brain come to terms with this new life on earth. That Lexa was a part of it, made it all the more special, not just for her, but for her partner. In this place, they learned how to communicate with one another on the same level, as equals as their souls were intertwined before they even understood their connection.

"It's beautiful. I could see why you wanted to come back here. This place is a paradise."

"It was sheer luck I found it when I did. It was after I had just found Star."

They stood next to the water as Raven gazed over the area. "So, what's the deal with Jaha?" Clarke asked.

"Kai and I were discussing that the other day. I overheard some of our people talking. It seems he's not happy at all with the treaty your mom worked out with Lexa's people. I frankly think he's ungrateful myself."

"I was surprised to hear that, and after Jaha's big speech he gave when they renamed our camp. I didn't know he was going to be a problem. Anybody else having an issue with it that you know about?"

"Not really, people are just airing their complaints so far. But, Jaha would like to scrap the whole thing and try and work out a better deal."

"We're not going to get a better deal. Does my mom know about this?"

"Of course, Abby isn't acting like it's an issue, but I think it can change on a dime if Jaha was their leader."

"All the work down the drain, over Jaha's petty grievance."

"Yup." Raven crossed her arms across her chest. "What I'd like to see change, no more voting until we get through the first season, maybe two. Give this a chance to work out. Then if our people aren't happy, then let's have a vote."

"Good idea, Raven. Maybe you should step up and run."

"Oh, no way. I want no part of that. Abby's doing a good job, and she has Kane's full support."

"Who else would make a good leader?"

They both turned and looked at each other at the same time, and said in unison. "Not Bellamy." Then both busted out in laughter.

"What are we missing?" Kai said.

Lexa came up behind Clarke and wrapped her arms around Clarke's waist, laying her hands protectively over her small baby bump, and leaned her head next to Clarke's. Kai was a bit more shy with Raven and just stood next to her and ran her hand down her arm and laced their pinky fingers together. Raven looked down at her hand then over to Kai watching the waterfall and shook her head.

Clarke leaned back into Lexa's chest as her arms surrounded her. "Just talking about Arkadia." Lexa held her tighter, and she changed the subject, "I love this place. I'm glad we came back."

The high walls around the waterfall still held the tangle of vines within the trees and jagged rocks. Lexa gazed upward and found the vine she used to climb to the knot in the tree. Further up she could see bees still working, flying in and out of the opening and she tapped on Clarke's arm to look up, and she pushed back into her arms. The pleasant memories poured back into her mind of the day they saw each other naked for the first time, the first time Clarke tasted honey and the memory of another life. If there was a thing from this trip that had held in Lexa's heart, was that it had exposed her most vulnerable side when she let her guard down and brought Clarke back into her life.

"Why don't we go for a swim later and have lunch down here?" Clarke asked.

"Sound great, but I don't know how to swim," Raven turned to say to her.

Kai pulled her little finger entwined with hers. "I can teach you."

Raven leaned her shoulder against Kai and looked up her through her long dark eyelashes. "You could?"

"Of course." Kai couldn't hide her reddening cheeks.

Kai was in her sleeveless shirt like Lexa when Clarke noticed the large angry scar running down her toned arm.

"How did you get that, Kai?" Clarke asked.

"Hunting of course. My first arrow missed killing the buck outright angering him. He managed to corner me next to an outcropping and massive horns gored my arm. I thought for sure he'd rip it from my arm from its socket when I yanked my arm free. He reared up to pound me into the ground with his hooves, and it left him vulnerable when it opened up his chest, and I was able to put him out of his misery with a blade through his heart."

"That's when Kai stumbled into Camp Arkadia bleeding from the gaping wound in her arm and ran into me." Raven rubbed the scar. "My Kai stood tall and brave, dripped blood all over the place like a big goof, scaring the crap out of me. I took her to Abby's medical bay, and she stitched up my idiot. We've been inseparable ever since."

"Awe," Clarke said.

Lexa rolled her eyes. "Who wants to go for a swim?"

Clarke eyes grew wide in excitement and worked to remove her top then stopped when she heard the girls still playing in the distance. "I guess there's no skinny dipping around the kids?"

Before Lexa could answer a pair of running bodies rushed passed them as both Lincoln and Octavia dove into the water, making a huge splash.

"That answer's that. I'm going to change." Clarke and the rest followed her back to their camp and as she ducked into their tent as always set up for efficiently. Clarke sat down and started to removed her boots as Lexa started to fiddle with her gear. "Are you coming in Lexa?"

"Of course. The heat is unbearable. I don't think that I can take it anymore."

Lexa shucked off her clothes and wearing a pair of shorts and a thin bandeau wrapped around her chest and tied off around her neck. Clarke similarly dressed, but her breasts were heavier and barely contained with the band she wore. Lexa couldn't help but gaze over her body. She knew every square inch her, but sometimes when she was barely clothed. It was just as enticing.

Lesta and Nara were already in the water by the time they got back to the beach, and Clarke helped Kai lay out a few blankets, with food and drinks and jump in with the rest. Clarke followed her but waded in carefully. The sandy bottom of the pond squished between her toes, and she laid back in the water and looked up into the sky. It was a half a year ago when she had done the same thing, when she was alone, lost and hurt. Afraid to wonder what would become of her.

Lexa swam to her side and held her as she floated on the water and pulled her deeper into the water. "Feels good to get out of the heat."  
Clarke smiled up at her. "I was thinking about the first time I swam here. At first, I was happy to be clean and have a place to stay, and then it would hit me, how alone I was and away from everyone I cared about."

"Shh, it's over now. We are here and with our friends."

Clarke stood up and wrapped her arms around Lexa's shoulders and her legs around her waist.

Kai guided an unsure looking Raven into the water. Without her brace, Raven couldn't put all of her weight on her bad leg. But in the water, she became buoyant and started to float.

Kai held her hands and pulled her into the deepest part of the water.

"Can you kick your legs, Raven?"

"I think so." She tried and found that being almost weightless in the water made it easier for her to move around and stretch her leg. Now without Kai's help, she swam around her in circles, and Kai turned and watched. They swam together around the edges of the pond as Kai kept a careful eye on Raven. After a while, Kai caught her and pulled towards the waterfall and ducked underneath. They stood under the overhang in a small cave that sheltered them from the water that poured down the rock face. "This is nice," Raven remarked, looking around the area.

"You're nicer to gaze at." Kai pulled Raven into her arms and begin to kiss her along her neck.

"They can see us, Kai."

Kai looked over her shoulder and shook her head. "I don't think so. Are you afraid to kiss me Sky girl?"

"No, well no I'm not afraid. It's just that..." Her words cut off, as Kai kissed her deeply and held her tight to her body. When she pulled back, she swept the wet hair out of Raven's eye and kissed her again.

"I need to tell you something, Raven. Something that I wished I dared to say this before our trip."

Raven shuddered, and it wasn't the because of the cool water. Fear pulsed in her heart. She was afraid Kai was going to give her some bad news and would change her world. "You're not leaving Arkadia are you?"

"What, no. Why would you say that?"

"Because every time something is going great for me, it gets messed up. Just a little gun shy, I guess."

"I can assure you. It's quite the opposite." Kai straightened her shoulders and lifted her chin. "Raven kom Skaikru, I am in love you."

Raven blinked her eyes and pushed back from Kai. "Say that again."

"I love you, Raven with all my heart." Kai waited for the overhang to fall on her head. She had put her heart on the line afraid of rejection and it if was to happened at least Raven would know how much she cared for her. Instead Raven jumped into her arms.

"I love you too, you big oaf. I'm sorry, I should say, I love you too, Kai kom Trikru. I'm not too sure about your customs. I hope I got that right."

Kai laughter filled the small cave, and she pulled her against her body and kissed her again. Sinking her tongue into her mouth and running her hands along her body. Raven leaned into Kai and ran her hands down her back, landing on her backside and pulled her tighter to her body.

"Hmm, you take my breath away, babe." Raven sighed and leaned her head against Kai's shoulder. They stayed linked together, and Kai rocked them back in forth in the water. "I suppose we should join the others."

"Not yet, Raven. Let's stay in our little pocket space for a moment longer." For all of Kai's training as a warrior and now a leader in her village, nothing prepared her for when she fell for the sky girl. Eyes so brown and a smile that lit up her life. She closed her eyes and held onto her tightly. "You are so beautiful and smart. Everyone respects you, Raven. I am a lucky woman."

"That goes for both of us, have you seen yourself in a mirror? You're pretty damn hot."

"Hey guys, you coming out or what?" Clarke said.

"Give us a minute," Raven yelled back.

Raven moved into to kiss her again. "So, you've been waiting to tell me this, for how long?"

Kai tipped her head back and closed her eyes. "I think it was a couple of weeks after Heda and Clarke left. I realized that I could not live without you in my life. I not only love you, but I also want to bond with you. Become your partner in life."

"Are you asking to marry me, Kai?"

"It's not the word we use, but yes it is the same."

"Yes, Kai."

"Yes, what Raven."

Raven rolled her eyes. "Yes, I will bond with you."

Kai let out a yell of happiness and fell over into the water pulling Raven with her. Raven came up with a sputter, wiping the water from her eyes. Kai turned to swim out of the cave but first put Raven's hands on her shoulder so she could hold on as Kai swam to their friends wading in the water.

Kai pulled Raven from behind her and set her down in the water, then put out her arms seemly to embrace the world. "She said YES!"

"Well done my friend," Lexa said walked over and put her forearm out to shake. Kai caught her arm and pulled her under the water with a splash and held her underneath until Lexa's hand came up and grabbed her by her hair and pulled her under.

"Congratulations, Raven." Clarke pulled her into a hug. "What did she say?"

"She told me she loves me and wants to get married, I mean she wants to bond with me. Can you believe that? I'm engaged."

"We're both happy for you and Kai."

Lexa and Kai continued to play fight in the water, as they waded to the shore to watch their women roughhouse. The two girls were on Lincoln and Octavia's shoulders trying to push one another into the water. Clarke tossed Raven and towel, and she began to dry herself off.

Clarke knelt and started to put out food for everyone after they finished cooling off. Clarke poured out some wine for the adults, and she poured out fresh water for herself as well as for the kids. It was in the middle of laying everything out, Raven stood still and looked at Clarke and then down at her leg. She took a step, and it held. Raven took another one and, even though her leg was a little weak, she felt something.

"What's wrong, Raven?" Clarke reached out, and Raven waved her off.

"Nothing." Surprised carried in her voice and Clarke watched as she took another step. "Nothing at all, I don't know what just happened, but I can feel my leg."

"Oh my god Raven, are you sure?"

"I think so."

Kai and Lexa had stopped their play and watched them as the waded in the deeper part of the water. "Somethings wrong, Lexa." Kai dove under the water and came up a few yards ahead of Lexa and ran the rest of the way to her partner."

"Raven, what's wrong?"

Raven turned to face her, tears streaming down her face. "My leg, I can feel it. It's still tingling a little bit. I don't know what happened but, I can feel the coolness of the water on my skin." She tapped at the surface, and it didn't feel as numb as before.

"Could it be just swimming around helped it out?" Kai asked.

"I don't know, asked the doctor over there." Looking at Clarke.

"I'm not sure. But, I'd say if swimming is helping, you should use as a kind of therapy."

Kai raised her eyebrows at the word, and Raven explained to her what it meant. "You know like when you stretch out a sore muscle. It's sort of like that. My leg is moving better because I wasn't afraid to kick my leg to swim in the water. I guess because I didn't have any weight on it, my leg relaxed. I don't know I'm saying or if that's what happened. All I know is I can feel more of my leg than before. It feels warm."

"Then when we get back I'm going to find you a place where it is safe for you to do your therapy." Kai held out her hand, and Raven took it and walked into her embrace. "I'm so happy for you, my love." Raven kissed her and then looked back towards Clarke and winked.

Clarke rolled her eyes and then sat next to the Lexa on the blanket. Lexa made her a sandwich with slices meat, tous, and fruit. She made one for Clarke and then one for herself.

"If anyone's hungry we've got food," Clarke called out to the rest of them still in the water. The rest waded back to shore and joined them on their separate blankets.

Clarke got an idea and whispered to Lexa, and they both agreed. One lucky couple would have a night alone, near the waterfall away from everyone.

~

That evening, with a short discussion between the adults, they decided to let Raven and Kai use the tent by the water the first night. Both of them left quickly after dinner, and the rest of the adults smiled knowingly, albeit a little jealous of their friends.

Octavia and Lincoln would rotate guard duty overnight. Lexa tossed a few more logs into the campfire, their bellies filled with meat from a freshly caught wild turkey that stumbled into the camp surprising everyone. Star quickly snatched it broke its neck. Dumb luck, Clarke stated then quickly added 'It the circle of life when the girls started to cry about the funny looking bird.

"Did we ever tell you about the Pauna and the zoo?" Clarke thought she would start the conversation, she hoped would lead into stories for the kids. She read that at campout you told scary tales around the campfire and wanted to keep in the spirit and began.

"Deep in the forest, where they say it would prowl, there lived a creature that no one had ever seen before. It was evident that it existed because on the forest floor, poor creatures to slow, laid scattered, as only their bones remained." She did have to clean up this part, what they had seen at the zoo was a feeding ground, as Lexa had said, more like a slaughterhouse, and this wasn't for little ears. "Deep in the forest, you could hear it call out with a roar." Clarke went silent turning her head as if she had heard something and the girls watched and then turned their heads and listened with her.

"It was in the forest outside of Tondc that we heard noises, to loud to be a normal creature. Then the bushes began to shake. There was nowhere for us to hide, so we ran as fast as we could through the woods, and I could swear you could almost feel it's breath on your back. By chance, we found a shelter to hide with strong walls that ages ago held wild creatures, long gone before the dark time. But, now it could shelter us from the beast. Then before we had moved inside, the creature's yells echoed out through the forest shaking the trees and even the ground. Then we saw it, with slavering jaws hung with long sharp teeth. This dark hairy animal stood over ten feet tall and shook the ground. It roared out in anger and pounded on its large chest; then it leaped towards us in anger felling one of Lexa's men. I shot at it with my weapon, and it fell mortally wound it, or so we thought."

By this time the kids along with the adults were held captive by Clarke's descriptive tale. Even Lexa, who lived through the event sat wide-eyed listening.

"But, it was still alive and we ran throughout the vine-covered walls as it searched and bellowed out hunting for us. We became cornered, and we either had to face our deaths together or take a leap of faith and together jump down to a lower level. We chose the later and Lexa was injured, but we ran blindly, as the terror behind us belched out its desire to take our lives. Each room held years of decay and death and went to our hands and knees to crawl through a hole into what we hoped was safety. The pauna found us and grabbed onto Lexa's legs. His triumph nearly within his massive grip when I turned at Lexa's cry to leave her, and I held fast to her arm with one hand and fired my weapon into the pauna's face. He screamed and released Heda giving us time to escape into a concrete room that once held wild animals of old and secured the door with Lexa's sword, but locking us inside. Lexa bore her injury well, only needing a little attention."

Lexa rolled her eyes and smiled, and Clarke continued. That event was seared into her mind as well as the pain in her shoulder.

"The pauna found us and beat at the strong metal door, almost caving it in with brute force. It continued to strike against the door. The sounds echo through the small room. The sword began to bend, unable to withstand the blows from the mighty creature and we didn't give up. Lexa was ready to fight the beast to death. Then we came up with an idea to let it in."

The children gasped.

"When at the last minute when the blade could hold it no longer we pulled the blade out the creature tumbled into the cage. We saw our chance and ran out of the room slamming the steel door shut and fixing its strong handle sealing the animal inside, and we survived and lived to tell the tale."

"Well told," Lincoln said.

"Here here, That was incredible." Octavia joined in.

"Were you scared, Clarke?" Nara leaned against Clarke, captivated with her story.

"I was, but even when you're faced with a hopeless situation, you need to keep your wits about you and try to find a solution."

Lesta sat wide-eyed and said. "Ooh."

"Hey, Octavia don't you have a story about the pauna also?" Lincoln leaned against her shoulder with a playful push, and she began to tell her story.

~

Later that evening, the scary stories kind of backfired on them when both of the little girls were to scared to sleep alone in their tent. Both Clarke and Lexa had to sleep in separate cots, each with a child, to keep them from the big bad scary pauna that lurked in the forest.

Clarke had Nara with her arms wrapped around her waist and her face tucked into her neck. She turned to see Lexa on her side with Lesta facing towards her and mouthed, "I'm sorry." Lexa was only a few feet away, and still, it was too far. Sighing she closed her eyes and tried to fall asleep.

~

Early the next morning, just as the light began to filter into the camp Lexa's eyes came open, and she carefully removed Lesta's leg that pressing down on her stomach, causing her to wake from the pressure to relieve herself. Clarke and Nara were deeply asleep under the blankets, and she tried not to be too jealous. Tonight she would have Clarke back in her arms when they spend the night near their special place.

She dressed in light clothing and met Octavia by the roaring fire and motion for her to go to sleep. Octavia looked up from where she was sitting and looked pale. "All you right?"

Octavia began to speak and then put her hand to her mouth and ran into the woods to throw up. Lexa followed her and rubbed her back. "Take it easy."

"No, it's okay." Octavia threw up again and motioned her off.

Lexa let her have her space and waited until she came back to the fire. She poured out some hot tea and handed the mug to her as she came back into camp.

"Well, I think my suspicions are correct but before I say anything to you and I need to speak with Lincoln."

"Very well. I'll take care of the morning meal."

Lexa rolled out her fishing gear and began to assemble her pole and fix a hook to the line. After she returned to the camp with a bucket of water, she poured the water into a few metal pots and placed them near the fire to heat, and she laid out the mugs for tea for when the others would begin to rise. Lexa took off the Commander's responsibilities and treated her role as an equal among her friends. She wouldn't ask someone to do something; she wasn't willing to do herself.

Lexa noticed that there was a fire pit still smoldering on the beach and smiled knowing what probably had happened last night with her friends. She quietly made her way back to the falls and the overhanging rock formation, knowing that just below fish lurked and dropped her line into the water, hoping they would be attracted to the new lure she had obtained in a stall in the markets of Polis.

The morning was quiet, and the air was still and the smells of the morning dew just hung in the air. The humidity from the day before lifted and today would be perfect, and it gave her time to let her mind wander, and as always she would find her mind firmly fixed on Clarke.

And her mind shifted back to the days just after the device confirmed Clarke's pregnancy. Specifically to the nights with Clarke in their bed and when they made love after they knew. Clarke told it was safe and she was careful not to touch her too deeply. It caused a shudder to go through Lexa remembering how Clarke arched into her mouth when she licked through her wetness, feeling Clarke come again and again. Her pregnancy may have enhanced the sensation for Clarke, but Lexa sensed it as well and then in the morning the sun would join them in the tangle of their sheets. She sighed, tonight they would have time to reconnect away from her friends and children.

Across the water, Lexa saw movement coming from the tent, and Kai stepped out into the open and stretched out her long body. She spotted Lexa and waved as she walked towards where she was fishing. Lexa had brought another pole just in case she had company.

Lexa caught another fish and hauled it on the rock and strung it to a line just at the edge of the water. "Looks like you don't need any help, Heda."

"I'm sure we could use a few more fish." Lexa motion to the pole and Kai sat next to her and dropped a line in the water, watching as the bobber floated just on the surface.

"Pleasant evening?" Lexa asked and turned to see Kai's cheeks turn a shade darker.

"Raven was pleased with the deepening of our relationship." That's when Lexa turned and looked at Kai and saw the love bites covering one side of her neck.

"Looks like you were bitten by a hungry animal." Lexa smiled at her friend.

"Ah, yes. Raven was very pleased." Kai pulled her hair over to cover the marks. "We decided to spend most of the night next to the fire and sleep under the stars. It was a pleasant evening with Raven by my side."

"I'm sure it was." That was a good idea and filed that away for later tonight.

Kai pulled another fish out of the water and hooked to the bunch that Lexa had already caught. "I think that's enough," Kai said and stood up and pulling Lexa with her.

"I'll have the girls gut and clean the fish for us and will have this for breakfast," Lexa said and walked back to camp as Kai went to fetch Raven.

Everybody was arousing from their tents, and she eyed Lincoln who looked a little shell-shocked and kept his eyes on Octavia as they met everyone back around the fire. She handed the fish off the girls, and they got their knives out and took the fish back to the water down to prepare them for the fire.

When Lexa had a moment, she motioned to Clarke to follow her into the woods to have a private discussion, when they were out of sight from the camp, Lexa took her in her arms and held her for a moment. She wanted to make up for the time overnight when she couldn't hold her.

"I missed you last night."

"I don't think I slept that much. Nara likes to kick and hog the covers."

"Do you think that this will be what it will be like with our child?" Lexa asked.

"Let's make me deal, not to tell her scary stories." Lexa snorted.

"Agreed. Oh, this morning Octavia got sick in the bushes."

Clarke pulled back from her arms. "She did?"

"Yes, I suspect she might be with child. She did inquire quite a bit about your pregnancy and going by what Lincoln looked like this morning. It seems he knows as well."

"Do you think I should ask her?"

"She'll probably come to you when she's come to terms with her news. She's so active that I'm afraid she will have a hard time adjusting to carrying a child and trying to be a warrior."

"Then you need to find another position for her, to keep her from overworking herself."

"This coming from Clarke of the Sky people. Who still insists on doing everything for herself."

"No fair. I will promise you that I will scale back once my body tells me I can't handle more than I should."

"Then I should let you tell her. It would be good to see what I've had to deal with a strong-minded woman."

"Hmm, this is going to bite me in the butt, isn't it?" Lexa just smiled and led them back into camp.

~

Octavia did confide later to Clarke, a bit teary-eyed that yes she suspects she pregnant. Clarke was happy for her, but she looked miserable. Lincoln was cautiously delighted but didn't want to overburden Octavia and kept his joy down to just staring off into the sky, a happy smile on his face. He dearly loves Octavia and would help her through everything. But her bold spirit of the wild at being more a Trikru person than Sky, made her resent it a little. Clarke just said, let her move at her own pace and support her. She'll come around in the end.

That evening under the stars Lexa and Clarke were wrapped in thick furs sitting by the roaring fire near the waterfall. The time in the forest could be unpredictable as the day had started pleasantly but turned in the afternoon the wind picked up, and the breeze carried a little rain. It had died off in the evening and allowed them to spend a few hours warming by the fire in each other's arms.

"She's about as far as long as I am." Clarke finally broke the quiet.

"How come you haven't been sick."

"It doesn't happen to everyone, to my relief. I'll expect I won't feel this good, once I start putting on more weight and I can't get out of a chair without help."

Movement behind them and Lincoln approached and with him was Indra. Haggard from days traveling. Indra sat down around the fire and put her hands up to warm. "Hei, Heda."

"You have news?"

"Sha, trouble with the Skaikru, Jaha has made his move."

"God damn it." Clarke started to stand, and Lexa pulled her back down.

"Please Clarke, let her continue."

Indra looked at Clarke, happy that she was as displeased as the rest.

"He's taken over a band of men and few women and has moved out of Arkadia."

"Where are they going?" Lexa asked.

"We have gonas following them at a safe distance. Jaha tried to overthrow Abby Kom Skaikru, and she mounted a defense and was able to stop him. But a few others joined with him and took some of their supplies. We think that they are headed westward, towards Blue Cliff, maybe Rock Line." Indra used the gonasleng phrasing in deference to Clarke's limited understanding of their language.

"They'll be wiped out," Lexa said.

"How many people?" Clarke asked.

"Almost twenty, mostly men." Indra looked tired. "He took the one that attacked, Clarke. I think his name was Jasper."

Clarke's anger grew and asked, "Was anyone harmed, is my mother okay?"

"A few bumps and bruises. One person was shot but will live. Your mother is well."

"Have you eaten, my friend." Indra shook her head. "Let's get you fed." Lexa helped Clarke up, and they headed back to the main camp. Their night near the waterfall, wouldn't happen after all.

~

Next morning, the gear was packed on the horses, and they would head west. Kai and Raven with a couple of Indra's gonas take the children southward towards Lexa's family home. Lexa, Clarke, and the rest would try and intercept Jaha's revolt and try and persuade them to return to Arkadia before the other clans found them and executed them for invading their land. Everyone was on edge. Lexa tried to convince Clarke to go with Kai and Raven, and she lost the battle with her mate.

Lexa sent a rider ahead with a message to Blue Cliff to stand down, and they would see to the Skaikru rebels, hoping to avoid bloodshed from both clans. Their ambassador readily accepted Skaikru into the coalition, but now this revolt could send a message that would disrupt the peace among her people. They just couldn't let Jaha and his people move into an occupied land without coming up against resistance. They would see Heda weaken, not in control of her people. She had contemplated letting Indra's men take them out as traitors. Then they may lose more Skaikru as a result. There would be no easy resolution to this problem. They couldn't have more land that belongs to another and would have to go back to their home. They couldn't travel far enough and not come up against another clan's territory. If they invade any area, they will be fair game for slaughter. To integrate them into another wouldn't be possible. Lexa cursed under breath how foolish Jaha was. He never saw the big picture. His focus was always on what he saw right in front of him. They may already be dead by the time they reach their location.

~

It only took a day and a half to meet up Indra's scouts who waited downwind from the camp where Jaha's people had settled for the night. They had not traveled far. Ill-equipped to go on foot through the rugged terrain. It seemed he was down to just a few men as they moved through the forest. Fights broke out between the rebels and Indra's men captured them as they tried to return to their home, and they led them back to Arkadia unharmed. It was down to Jaha, Jasper and eight men. No match against any resistance, but they did have guns. Lexa was right about Jaha, his incompetence as leader was glaring. He would get them all killed if he didn't see his mistake.

Clarke wanted to try and talked to Jaha and convince him to return home. See that his foolish attempt would get them all killed, but still finding a way for him to save face. She couldn't take Lexa with her since he was hostile to Trikru and their alliance and brought Octavia instead as reinforcement.

Holding up a white flag, she heard shouts from their camp as they huddled around their meager campfire.

"You ready for this?" Octavia said.

"No, but we've got to make them understand that they are in danger, and find a way they can come home."

"I think we should just let Lexa's people wiped them out." She couldn't disagree with Octavia. They were more trouble than it was worth saving, but she had to try.

"Who goes there?" A shout from Jaha.

Clarke stood up with Octavia holding up her hands and moved to the clearing. Behind them, in the woods, Lexa's men began to surround their camp, ready to take them out, on a moments notice.

A person Clarke hadn't seen since the mountain, stood with Jaha, it was Emerson. He was still alive. Somehow he had befriended Jaha and must have convinced him to overtake Arkadia and now that it had failed. He didn't seem to have anything to lose by teaming up with the Ark's former chancellor. Jasper stood next to Jaha. A bit overwhelmed at his new role as a free man. He was holding a weapon in his shaking hand by his side.

"Can we talk?"

"Why? Aren't you already a lost cause? You've already sold yourself to their leader, for what? To let them tell us how to live our lives? We are free people. We don't need to be told how and where we go."

"You're wrong, Jaha. I am not a lost cause, and I do belong here with all of the people of Earth. That's what we have been working for, can you see?"

"Clarke thinks she better than the rest of us. She just a child killer." Emerson was bitter, and his words cut into her soul.

Jaha nodded his head in agreement, sneering at her as he spat out, "I see a young, naive girl, who carries a child of a barbarian."

Clarke saw Emerson raised his gun in her direction, and the look on his face had changed to anger. He may not have known about her pregnancy until this moment, and now with the knowledge, it seemed to enrage him.

A yell and scream and it happened so fast that Clarke didn't have time to think or to move and shot rang out and her body fell hard to the ground. Her last thoughts before everything went dark, were of Lexa, her child.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the cliffhanger.


End file.
